Maslow
by Ninnik Nishukan
Summary: What do you NEED? Different aspects of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego’s daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we’re good to go. Drakken/Shego.
1. ONE

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Morality**

* * *

She slapped him. Hard.

Very hard.

He toppled over backwards and stared up at her from where he lay prone on the cold lab floor, his eyes large with apprehension.

"Who the hell do you think you _are_?" She demanded angrily. "Playing with my free will like I'm some sort of_ toy_? How would you like it if I did that to you?"

"B-but— you weren't doing what I told you to d—"

"You know, Dr. D, even bad guys have morals." She snarled. "Even bad guys have standards, guidelines— you don't put an obedience chip on your so-called 'sidekick' just because she doesn't behave like a mindless drone! You should learn to _appreciate_ the fact that I have more brains than your henchmen! It's certainly gotten _you_ out of a sticky situation or two!"

"I...I just wanted you to obey me for once, and— and besides, it was only supposed to be a joke! I was going to let you go, it was all a joke, really...!" He babbled nervously, shielding his face with his arms.

"A _joke_?" She asked in a quiet, stunned voice, the pit of her stomach growing cold.

She realized a little something about him, then, something she'd suspected during the couple of years she'd been working with him, but had only come to understand fully now that she'd actually started living with him at his lairs during weekdays and worked closer with him and more often than she'd had before.

Moving in with him and his henchmen had been necessary. As Dr. Drakken had required her services more and more often until she became more of a 'sidekick' than hired help, he'd started needing her available twenty-four hours a day. It was also necessary for her, because having Drakken's secret lairs to escape to came in very handy when you were wanted in more than eleven countries.

What she realized was that before she'd moved in, Dr. D had been used to being alone_ alot_. Alone, and not really having to think about anybody but himself, not having to consider the feelings of others. His henchmen only talked amongst themselves while he'd been mostly reclusive in his lab. Living like that tended to...detach you, distance you; it made it harder to sympathize with others. It made it easier for you to play with people's lives without feeling a guilty twinge about it; she should know, she'd done it plenty of times herself. She was a loner, too, but he was a loner in a bitter, helpless kind of way; he wasn't alone by choice, and she was. No matter how much he claimed that he'd left by _choice_, he'd been ridiculed and ostracized before that.

But she hadn't thought he'd go as far as playing with _her_ life. She hadn't thought he was _that _inconsiderate, selfish and power hungry. She hadn't thought he was so wrapped up in his megalomaniac, mad scientist deal to actually think he could get away with trying to control _her_ like she was nothing more than one of his experiments.

The fact that he'd thought she wouldn't remember anything afterwards and that life could just go on without any consequences for him just…scared her a little. He hadn't considered her at all, and his lack of remorse angered her to the bone, simmering in her gut.

He'd made her feel helpless, violated— and he needed to understand that.

"Drakken," she sighed irritably. "I don't care if you're an 'evil genius' or whatever— you're not a single operator. You're gonna have to learn to respect the people you work with, and especially me, or I'm gonna take my business elsewhere! This isn't some tech support office or a news bureau or something— we're trying to take over the world here! Things are bound to get personal! _I'm_ helping you _take over the world_! Do you understand how serious that is?" She snapped, towering over him. "And you've got some great gadgets and stuff, but seriously, where would you be without me? I'm not just the hired muscle! I have fee—" Her sentence skidded to a halt; she'd just been about to say that 'she had feelings, too', hadn't she? And wasn't that just like something wimpy that _he _might say?

"Anyway, I really _mean_ it— if you don't keep a leash on your bigheadedness and start treating me better, I'll just go and work for someone else. Like _Dementor_," she suggested evilly, smirking as he gasped in shock and outrage. Served him right. "But before that…" she said grimly, cracking her knuckles before she took one of the mind control chips from his worktop, "I'm gonna teach you a little lesson…"

* * *

The issue wasn't really _what_ she'd made him do, Drakken thought, because that had been far less cruel than what he'd feared. She'd made him cook her dinner, give her a foot massage, scrub the floor of the entire lab with a tooth brush, do a handstand while singing the theme to the Love Boat, compliment her incessantly and sign an agreement to give her a shameless raise, and while it was all very frustrating and humiliating, it was all more or less forgivable, because she could have done _so_ much worse if she'd liked. She could've made him obliviously pull out his own teeth, break his own fingers with a hammer without as much as complaining, made him gladly visit Dementor and tell him he wanted to have his babies— any damn thing she wanted, really!

But she didn't. Because that wasn't the point of her revenge, he came to realize. She simply wanted to show him how it had been like for her, and she didn't even need to go to extremes to teach him that.

Because the _truly horrible thing_ about it all had been the _complete and utter lack of control_ that he'd had over his own actions, the painful loss of any sort of free will— and he'd been_ aware of everything he was doing the entire time_, just like she'd said— as if he'd been nothing but a puppet, completely at the mercy of her every whim, and not even able to do as much as _wince _about it.

Shego had kept him busy for a solid five hours before she released him, probably only because she wanted to go home or something, and during the last two of those five hours, he'd needed to use the bathroom so badly that it was only by some amazing miracle that he'd managed to hold it in; once she let him go, he practically _sprinted_ towards the bathroom.

When he returned to the lab with dragging steps, she was there waiting for him, and he could tell he was in for a verbal thrashing.

"Sorry," he mumbled before she could say anything; during those five hours, he'd had plenty of time to regret what he'd done.

His unexpected apology seemed to slow her down a little; instead of snapping at him, she crossed her arms tightly over her chest, letting out a scoff. "That didn't feel very nice, now did it?" She asked coldly.

No, it hadn't. It had felt almost exactly like the time when a bunch of bullies had hung his skinny, ten-year-old body up on a hook by his shirt at school, and he'd been completely at their mercy as they stole his lunch money and his shoes, gave him a wedgie and sucker punched him in the gut. Except now it had been even worse than that; back then, at least he'd still had the free will to be able to shout curses and threats at them to show them his defiance, no matter how powerless he'd been.

"No, it did not." He said dully. It had felt horrible. And Shego had only made him obedient and devoid of free will for a few hours. _He'd_ let Shego stay like that for nearly a whole _day_, he realized, and cringed. It was no wonder she'd been so angry.

Shego gave a small nod of approval; she'd never, ever seen him this subdued before, and she supposed she could take it as a sure sign that he'd learned his lesson. "You can be as evil as you like to the good guys, but you can't be evil to _me_." She said calmly. "You got that now?"

"Yes." He nodded slowly, his eyes trained on the ground. It wasn't that he was afraid of her, she realized as she studied his face, and he wasn't planning on submitting to her; he was still the boss, but he was acting like this because she'd actually managed to make him be _ashamed_ of what he'd done. She'd actually made him _learn_ something, _understand_ something...about _people_.

"Good," she muttered, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Shego shivered as she drove home to her apartment that evening. No matter how angry and frustrated it had made her feel to listen to tales of his childhood while baking him cookies and complimenting him, she had to be grateful when she thought about what he _could've_ done to her, had he been so inclined. Drakken had thought that she'd forget everything afterwards, so if he'd wanted to, he could've…_done_ all _sorts_ of things to her. _Other_ villains probably _would_ have.

Not Drakken, though…which she supposed was one of the reasons why she still stuck around.

In_ some_ ways, she thought, Drakken was strangely innocent. If she knew him right, the thought had probably never even occurred to him. What he'd wanted from her was attention and respect and company.

Well, she could provide company for him, and perhaps a little attention, but her respect for him had already been pretty flimsy, and after this, it was kind of fading even more. The world seen filtered through his mad scientist mind could be a disturbing place sometimes. If he wanted her to stay, he needed to learn that not _everything_ could be solved by mad science, especially problems with other people.

After their little talk, though, he was actually beginning to treat her a little better...and that was something, at least.

* * *

After she'd left him to go on an impulsive vacation, he folded on the cloning issue much faster than she'd expected. When he called her up continuously during her impromptu 'vacation', she grinned to herself at how ridiculously forlorn he sounded.

He was practically crawling on his knees to get her back, like some kind of lover who'd just committed a relationship faux pas and was begging for forgiveness.

Knowing Dr. Drakken, he'd probably read in some outdated volume that pet names made women more agreeable. Well, they made her _laugh_, anyway, and she supposed that had to be something.

It wasn't the pet names that made her come and rescue him, though. It had to be his persistency, if anything. And she'd had men begging her before, like a lot of beautiful women often did, but no one had sounded as genuinely lost and desperate for her return as Dr. D. That's when she realized that while she wasn't even _remotely_ romantically involved with him, it was probably one of the closest relationships she'd ever had with a man, which was kind of beyond pathetic…wasn't it?

She knew that they were much more familiar with each other than an employer and employee should be, but she supposed it came from being forced to live together so often and from the kind of 'business' they were in. And, admittedly, because of how emotionally demanding of a person Drakken was. He was always so personal, no holds barred, even towards his henchmen, that it was kind of difficult not to get involved with him outside of a purely professional level.

In the car on the way back 'home' after she'd rescued him from the Bueno Nacho, she glanced at him in the mirror and almost cackled out loud when she caught the disapproving, peevish glare he sent the current hunk of muscle by her side, who she'd coaxed to come with her from Greece. She smirked; he probably reminded the Doc of the jocks who'd bullied him in school, adding insult to injury to the fact that he had to sit in the backseat like some kind of third-rate sidekick.

It felt kind of weird, really, but at the same time so very, very satisfying. This would surely teach him once and for all to appreciate her more, the big egomaniac.

_See how it feel__s to be disrespected, then,_ she scoffed.

* * *

When they got back to the lair, Shego was fuming, and Drakken thought she was being entirely unreasonable.

Shego pursed her lips, scowling at him. "Where is my guest supposed to live _now_? At some shoddy hotel?"

Drakken rolled his eyes; there was no need to get all huffy just because he'd demanded that what's-his-face with the overdone tan and the steroid muscles couldn't come with them, was there? He'd let him off outside of a hotel, after all. "That's not my problem, Shego." Drakken sighed in annoyance. "What part of 'secret lair' don't you understand? You can't just bring all sorts of _random_ people in here!"

"He is _not_...random," Shego objected. "He's my guest and he's—"

"How long have you known him for?" Drakken interrupted her.

Shego hesitated, her gaze flickering to and fro. "Uh...three days?"

Drakken wasn't quite able to hold back the triumphant grin. "And so I can safely assume that you don't actually know whether he's trustworthy or not, right?"

"Okay, fine...so I don't." Shego muttered as they got out of the car and started the walk up from the massive garage to the main lair.

Here he'd just trampled all over her wishes and her contract, and still she'd forgiven him and had agreed to come work for him again— and all he could do was give her a hard time about who she saw in her own free time? Okay, so bringing a date to the secret lair wasn't exactly a good idea— but he hadn't even said he was sorry for what he'd done! Not even_ once_! He'd only groveled until he got what he wanted— his sidekick back— and then he'd returned to his surly, arrogant self.

She couldn't believe him. When he'd ignored her objections and had actually tried to sneak a strand of hair from her head, she'd had enough. That was just the last drop. Again, he'd disregarded her completely in favor of mad science, treating her like some sort of test subject, and this time, she hadn't had any patience left. She'd simply quit her job. Enough was enough.

The reason she'd quit was because she'd been disappointed and fed up. It had seemed like he'd learned nothing after all, and was only going to keep doing things like that to her. What would be next? Would he suggest incorporating cybernetics into her system to make her able to defeat Kim Possible? Hack off her arms and replace them with robotic ones? Try to tamper with her DNA?

If she was going to keep being his sidekick, she needed to know that he'd finally understood what was off limits.

In the middle of the garage, Shego then stopped so abruptly that he almost walked right into her. "Hey, watch where you're going, Shego!" He complained, barely avoiding her.

"Just thinking..." She said quietly, her back still turned. "Have you _really_ learned your lesson about cloning?"

"This _again_?" Drakken sighed heavily, rubbing his face in annoyance. "I _said_ 'no cloning', all right?"

She shrugged seemingly carelessly, her face still hidden from view. "I guess I just want to know if you fully appreciate the wrongness, that's all. Wouldn't it be all creepy and...and_ existential_ if a copy of you suddenly turned up one day? Wouldn't that raise a lot of questions for you about who you are? And wouldn't you be afraid of the copy capturing you and replacing you like in one of those old, cheesy sci-fi shows or something?"

"But..." Drakken blinked in surprise; she'd apparently taken some actual time to think about the issue. He'd thought she might've just said no to spite him; that's what he'd been telling himself so he could keep asking her about it without any inconvenient guilt, anyway.

"I'm a person, I'm not a commodity to be mass-produced. I don't like the idea of being replaced, and I don't think you would like it, either." She turned her head finally, looking at him over her shoulder, her eyes narrowing. "Of course, if you'd like to _find out_ what it would be like, I _could_ always pluck some hair from your head while you're sleeping and try out your cloning device..." She suggested with a kind of lazy, almost disinterested tone that was somehow scarier than it would've been if she'd been shouting angrily. "Now I'm no _scientist_, but it shouldn't be _too_ hard to figure out, right?" She said innocently, turning fully towards him. "Sure, there might be some..._accidents_ on the way...like, say, some horribly disfigured clones turning up if I _accidentally_ mix up your hair with carpet fibers or lint or maybe some of Commodore Puddles' fur, but _eventually_ I'd probably get it right, don't you think?"

Drakken gulped loudly at the horror scenario she'd just presented for him. Oh, great, she was doing that thing where she turned the tables on him again— that annoying little 'what if it were _you_' thing that she did sometimes, mostly whenever he tried to do something unethical that involved her. Of course, if it involved anybody _else_ than her, she couldn't give a monkey's bottom about it.

Still...like the last time, she'd managed to get a very, very valid point across with him: _I hope you don't think you can get away with treating me like that, and I hope you realize what you've done._ His eyes wide with terror, he nodded slowly. "I understand, Shego," he said in a tight voice, finally exhaling when she nodded, turning to go again. Clearing his throat to rid himself of the tense moment, Drakken followed.

Three seconds later, however, he almost bumped into her again as she came to a sudden halt, apparently staring at one of the cars. As he followed the direction of her gaze, he saw that it was the truck they'd used earlier today. One of his henchmen must've have driven it back.

"Is that a _plumber's _truck?" She asked, staring at him. "Don't _tell_ me the bathroom's out of order _again_?"

"No, the truck is mine. I used it for stealth today." He said, shrugging.

Shego tilted her head at him, sending him an incredulous frown. "And so, under cover of _daylight_, you were being 'stealthy' with the biggest truck you could _find_? "

_Ah, banter,_ Drakken thought to himself, _everything must be getting back to normal_. He'd almost been worried there for a second. "It's called the principle of hiding in plain sight, Shego." He shot back matter-of-factly. "Being where they least expect you to be."

"Uh huh, and how were you planning to stay inconspicuous with that honking big picture of _you_ on the side?" Her eyebrows rose slowly in disbelief as she further contemplated the truck, walking around it to see it from both sides."The one where you're sitting next to what looks like a_ toilet bowl..._?"

Drakken's face tightened with frustration, his cheeks reddening from the embarrassment. Maybe that particular part of the plan _had _been a silly idea. "Stop criticizing me, Shego!" He blurted. "You weren't even_ here_!"

"Okay, not another word, I promise..." She said before pausing, a playful smirk growing on her lips. "..._Mr. Potty_."

"Argh!"

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note: **

**EDIT (14.09.08): **I've rewritten this chapter slightly because I've felt for a long time that I wasn't getting the point across properly about what Drakken had done to Shego. He'd really disrespected her, and I feel like I sort of brushed it aside to a certain degree— this wasn't my intention at all, but that's how the old version came across to me. I haven't added much, I just felt like they needed to reflect on the subject just a wee bit more.

As for the cloning bit, I thought Shego's sudden need to remind Drakken what he'd done needed a lead-in, too. It was a little abrupt, which took away some of the gravity from the point she was trying to make.

**Morality** is set after _The Twin Factor_, in which Dr. Drakken, as much as I do like him, was being a jerk. I felt like it had to be addressed. After that, it's all about _Kimitation Nation_.

**Concerning the age of the characters:** I'm assuming that Drakken's a few years younger (not much, though, just like three years or something) than James Possible since Drakken doesn't have greying hair like Mr. Dr. P. and since in high school and college etc. it's usually the younger member of a group that gets talked into doing stuff for the other members (like getting them dates), to 'prove themselves' or something. Also, from my own experiences with college, age differences vary a lot. I've had friends in college who range from a year to almost ten years older than me.

As for Shego, I'm mostly basing her age on the fact that in _Stop Team Go_, she was actually interested in dating Steve Barkin, who has to be at least thirty-five or forty, and that Ron described her being older in such a way that it sounded like a big deal, but I'm also basing it on her voice, her looks, her confidence and attitude and her life experience. I mean, I really can't see her as a teenager at all, like some people seem to think. One might say she acts kind of juvenile with how she's always lounging about reading magazines, filing her nails or listening to hip hop, but if we were to put the character's age down from their general behaviour, Drakken would be about thirteen-years-old; occasionally five. XD

Shego's _at least_ twenty-five, but most likely older. She used to be a super hero for a good while, and she's obviously been in the villain business for quite some time considering she's wanted in eleven countries by season one already and considering how Drakken and Shego seem like they've known each other for a while. I wanna go out on a limb here and say that she's twenty-nine, going on thirty. Call it the artistic liberty of a fanfic writer.

**Here I'm semi-quoting MST3K: **_"And so, under cover of daylight, you were being 'stealthy' with the biggest van you could find? "_

* * *


	2. TWO

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Self-esteem**

* * *

Surprisingly, he was quiet during the ride home after he'd muttered a short recap to her of the events that had passed between him and DNAmy when Shego had bothered him about it. 

So...Dr. D had been dumped, and she supposed this would give her fodder for endless insult matches from now on, but something about the way he looked made her hold her tongue about it.

If he'd been bawling like a big baby, she might've felt inclined to laugh and say 'I told you so', but now he was just kind of...well, quiet. There was no entertainment value in teasing him if he was just going to get all sad and withdrawn; the amusing thing about teasing him was watching him grit his teeth in annoyance and shout at her, livid with exasperation— and it was almost even better when she managed to work him up so badly that he could only reply with incomprehensible, furious grunts and exclamations. That was always priceless.

He was just kind of staring aimlessly into space as they drove home in the car that she'd stolen since the hover car had been destroyed, his brow furrowed as he occasionally chewed at his lip, not speaking another word to her--- and that was how she knew his ego was more hurt than usual and that he _really_ wouldn't appreciate any negative comments from her at that point in time.

Also, this time when he'd called for her to come rescue him, there had been a much more desperate note in his voice than usual, and he'd yelled so loudly for her that his tremulous voice had echoed between the houses.

So...yeah. Maybe she would lay off the wisecracks for once. Besides, she'd already gotten her fun when she'd pestered him about liking DNAmy in the first place, and the fact that she'd been right about his feelings did give her a certain amount of smug satisfaction.

* * *

Apparently he'd just been quiet during their drive because he'd been thinking too hard or something, however, because almost as soon as they got home, he slumped down into the old couch in what passed for a living room in their lair, and just as she was about to leave to get herself something to eat and drink before bed, he suddenly started crying. 

It looked like he'd only been able to hold it in for so long before he couldn't take it anymore. Shego sighed heavily before turning back; Dr. D had always been such a very _sensitive_ person...!

"What _now_?" She asked irritably; she knew she sounded harsh, but she was hungry and tired and didn't quite have the patience to play psychologist for him.

Drakken was momentarily distracted by that; even if she was being a bit sharp, he certainly hadn't expected her to actually bother staying in the living room to ask how he was doing. After having briefly noted that fact to himself, however, he wasted no time in leaping at the unusual chance for attention and sympathy. "She— she doesn't want me! She dumped me for a _monkey_, Shego! A _monkey_!" He shouted hoarsely in between sobs. "How do you think that makes me _feel_?"

_Gee, I wonder,_ Shego thought sarcastically, _because the bawling certainly isn't giving me any clues._ "According to what you told me, he's not actually a monkey," Shego pointed out calmly. "Sure, he's got monkey hands and feet, but _technically_—"

"Whatever, Shego!" He snapped. "He's got monkey parts, that's all I know! And I mean," He sniffled, his face scrounging up as he made an effort to stop crying, "I _know_ I'm blue and all, but it has to be better than _monkey parts_, right?" He asked imploringly, staring up at her with big, wet puppy dog eyes from his position on the couch.

"Maybe, but a woman whose hobby is making freaky, giant hybrids of random animals probably wouldn't think that. She probably thinks that unnatural animal parts are adorable." Shego shrugged. "Besides, she knew the other guy first, right?"

Drakken grimaced with frustration, his eyes stinging with a fresh bout of tears. "But— but she _flirted_ with me!"

"Sure, but it was just flirting. That's what flirting is."

"But— but how could she— it wasn't just flirting, she was— she was leading me on!" He wailed, once again losing the fight against the tears as he got up from the couch, pacing in an agitated semi-circle. "She said I was cute!" He pointed out, as if it was some pivotal piece of evidence in a murder trial or something. "Nobody ever calls me cute!"

"What can I say?" Shego shrugged carelessly; she was getting impatient, her stomach complaining insistently at the lack of any sustenance.

Drakken looked forlornly at his assistant, his jaw clenching tightly and his eyes prickling with more unshed tears. It wouldn't _kill _her to come up with something supportive, would it? Unfortunately, all Shego usually had for him was the cold, hard, uncomfortable truth, however, so he wasn't really surprised that she'd basically told him straight up that DNAmy hadn't meant anything more by her flirting than actual flirting, but it was still a little much to take for someone who'd just been rejected. Why was he denied of any solace? Why couldn't she just...well, _lie_ to him about it so he'd feel better?

That just wasn't the way Shego did things, however.

Drakken's lower lip trembled, then, and it was with great shock that Shego realized, about a millisecond before it happened, that he was in fact _hugging_ her, clinging to her while he sobbed his evil little heart out.

"Oh, Shego!" He cried, burying his face in her hair. "What am I going to _do_?"

Shego stiffened for a moment, overwhelmed by the completely unusual turn of events; he'd _never_, in the four or so years he'd associated with her, hugged her before. His body shook and shivered as the sobs hitched in his chest, and she felt a hot blast of discomfort, embarrassment and awkwardness go through her body. Drakken had never breached such an intimate line with her before, and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it.

She hadn't thought that he'd felt familiar enough with her to actually break down in front of her and throw himself into her arms for comfort— that was not a level of familiarity that she was ready for at all, and the loud wailing only made it even more perplexing. Also, she hadn't had a bear hug like this since...well, since she'd still been living with her family, and she couldn't even remember _ever_ letting anyone cry on her shoulder before, so it was all a little too much in its emotional intensity.

She was used to flirting, she was used to kisses and the passionate embraces of sex, but she was _not_ used to being squished tightly with such abandon against a crying person because he needed her, because he needed comfort.

Drakken felt her tense up and slowly came back to himself, his tight grip on her weakening; what was he even doing, embarrassing himself like that? His face reddened as he fully realized he was actually doing such a thing as clinging onto his sidekick like a bawling limpet, smearing his tears and probably some snot as well all over her hair, and most likely creeping her completely out with his unexpected behaviour.

Shego had never been very physical in this aspect, and had never been that mushy, nostalgic or sensitive either, so this had to be utterly alien territory for her— even more so because it was _him_. Sure, he knew he could be temperamental and harsh, and that he liked his personal space; he knew he didn't exactly have a habit of going around _hugging_ everybody, but even_ he_ had to have a warmer personality than _Shego_, so why did he even dare to hug her at all? Surely she'd melt his face or bend his spine like a pretzel for this!

And he'd had to suffer his mother's overzealous hugs all his life, and knew how claustrophobic they could make you feel, so why in the world was he subjecting _Shego_ to one of them? And to think he'd inherited such an annoying family trait...!

Then again...even an evil super genius had to be allowed a moment of weakness, hadn't he?

"Oh, would you get _over _yourself, Drakken?" Shego huffed peevishly before pushing him off of herself. "You've known that woman for what, a few _days_, maybe? It's not like you've been married for years and she suddenly filed for an unexpected divorce after revealing to you that she'd been sleeping with your best friend or anything!" She rolled her eyes, patting his arm dismissively. "So stop _whining_, okay?"

Drakken only sniffled as he was pushed away from the comfort of Shego's arms, relieved and somewhat shocked that she wasn't throwing him across the room or something. "B-But I haven't— it's been _years_ since I took a chance like that and asked...oh, you wouldn't understand..." He mumbled in embarrassment, wiping self-consciously at his tearful face with the back of his sleeve. Shego was used to being the one who _was_ approached, not the one who approached _others_, he knew, and so she'd probably never set herself up for heartache like he'd just done. He had real difficulty, in fact, with picturing her being all nervous and shy around a boy, even back in high school.

Shego frowned curiously at him, tilting her hip; he'd _never_ talked about his past love life or rather lack thereof before, and she was almost tempted to pursue the subject, but decided it was stupid. He'd probably just be all pathetic about it and start crying again as old memories were dragged into the light. And what did she really care about it, anyway?

"It's not even as if she was all that attractive," she pointed out helpfully, trying to make him get a grip on himself.

Unfortunately, this only agitated him further. "Like that even _matters_?" He hissed abruptly, his eyes narrowed. "I don't _care _how she looked! And besides, I'm not exactly Brad Pitt myself, am I?" He said sarcastically; was Shego really that shallow? "She was sweet and bubbly and she was a person who was actually_ nice_ to me for a change," He ranted, glaring pointedly at Shego at his last statement, "And we had shared interests— and, and _wow_, that _lab_— and she was so easily swayed into trying evil that she _must_ have a lot of hidden potential and—"

"Good grief, why don't you just go and write a _poem_ or something, huh?" Shego interrupted him irritably, holding up a hand; the sugary words pouring out the doctor's mouth made her want to gag. "I don't even wanna know! I only said it because I was trying to make you feel better."

He blinked at her in perplexity. "You _did_?"

Shego squirmed uncomfortably under his suddenly flabbergasted gaze. "Look, I'm hungry, okay? I don't want to do this anymore. I want to have something to eat, something to drink, maybe read a magazine... and then I want to just go to bed. It's been a long day for all of us."

Drakken regarded her silently for a moment before finally nodding solemnly. "I could eat."

Shego groaned inwardly; she hadn't meant for that to be an invitation. "Okay, but if you start crying again, I'm kicking you out of the kitchen."

"Fine." Drakken sighed heavily; she always had to be so blunt, didn't she? She was probably the very worst person in the world he could've acted like that in front of.

"And if you start binging on comfort food or something, you're out, too. It's already past midnight, for crying out loud." Shego muttered as she strode towards the kitchen. "With my luck, you'd probably turn into a gremlin or something..." she added, under her breath.

"What do you think I _am_, Shego?" Drakken objected with a moody grunt, as he followed after her. "Some silly teenaged girl?"

"Well, you did kind of _sound_ like one back there..."

"Hey!"

* * *

**Security of Body**

* * *

He'd barely managed to hold onto the end of the rope she'd eventually tossed down to him to drag him back up with, and when she pulled him through the hatch, he stumbled forward, slumping against her like a dead weight. His limbs were stiff and frozen as he clung to her shoulders desperately, his entire body shaking, his head hanging down as he leaned forward against her as if she was a wall or something. 

As she heard the irregularity of his breath and as she caught a glimpse of his terrified, wide eyes, she immediately knew she'd gone too far. But she wasn't going to let him have the pleasure of knowing that.

"You _still_ think I'm soft?" She snapped, and felt his fingers go slack on her shoulders, his frantic panting slowing down. Suddenly he wrenched himself away from her, moving in a wobbly line across the small room until he dropped into a chair, one arm covering his face.

"Why…why did you do that?" He asked in a hoarse wheeze, still gulping softly for air.

"You needed to be taught a lesson." She said defiantly.

Finally, he looked up. "I…I needed to…?" He asked faintly, sounding incredulous.

"You were being a jerk."

Suddenly, he shot up from the chair, his fists bunched and his eyes narrowed. "I COME TO RESCUE YOU, AND _THIS _IS HOW YOU _REPAY_ ME?" Shego found herself cowering back; she was used to him yelling, but she'd never heard him be _this_ loud before when angry.

This was even worse than the time when he was stuck in somebody else's body and she managed to lose his original body. Back then, she'd been so stricken by shock— he was _never_ genuinely angry in a menacing kind of way— that she'd actually resorted to a half-assed attempt at flirting in order to keep his rage at bay, but now it was so bad that she couldn't even get a word out, her knees practically shaking as she walked slowly backwards until she fell into the driver's seat. What was much more effective at scaring her than his anger, though, was herself; what mostly made her back away was the guilt that now flared up in her like a giant bonfire.

"I COULD HAVE DIED! I COULD HAVE _DIED_, SHEGO!" He bellowed, his face turning red and purple from agitation, his eyes wild. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN THINKING? WHAT DID YOU—" His voice broke, then, and she realized he'd been yelling so hard his voice failed on him; when she looked into his eyes, though, she could tell that it wasn't just about losing his voice. His eyes looked shiny and moist, and as his breath hitched wetly in his chest, she could tell that he was trying hard not to cry.

And worst of all, he sounded more hurt than afraid; he sounded so _betrayed_.

She heard herself gulping loudly. "We're flying over water. You wouldn't have died." Her own voice sounded so small that it freaked her out. Why did she sound like that?

"We're flying very _far _above water," he said thickly, hurt and disgust making his voice unsteady. "I would've most likely been knocked unconscious, and then I would've drowned."

"Um…"

When she was left practically speechless, Drakken brushed irritably past her to the driver's seat. "I'm steering." He said with finality.

"Uh, are you sure you're okay to—"

"_I'm_ steering."

"Okay." She mumbled, holding her hands up in a placating manner as she backed away into the other seat.

Drakken was too distraught to even yell at her anymore, his thoughts going a mile a minute. What if he'd been left down there a few seconds longer, what if—?

He swallowed hard, his face turning a sickly shade of blue as he gripped the controls tightly, to keep his hands from shaking. Maybe he _wasn't_ in any shape to drive, but there was no way he was going to let Shego be right about it. Gritting his teeth, he set his jaw with grim determination as he forced himself to concentrate on steering even if what he wanted most was just to collapse onto the floor and pull a blanket over his head.

He kept on, though, telling himself he would feel better as soon as he got some solid ground under his feet again. At least Shego was sitting in the back of the control room and couldn't see the look on his face.

The trip back to the lair was long and filled with a nerve-wracking silence.

* * *

**Respect**

* * *

The very next morning, at a time that was too early for_ anything_ in her opinion, she heard a strange sound coming from the lab when she stumbled into the kitchen to get some emergency coffee. 

Groaning, she post-poned going back to bed. She hadn't slept well at all the night before, but she was too curious not to check out the noise; she didn't know why, but she had a bad feeling about it. The night before, after they got back to the lair, Drakken had immediately gone to his quarters without saying a word to her, slamming the door behind him, and she'd spent a lot of the night on pins and needles as she wondered what he might do.

Following the direction of the noise on her slippers, coffee cup in one hand and the other hand clutching her robe closed across her pajamas, she discovered him busily stuffing several suitcases full of odds and ends, looking like he was just finishing up his packing, and she immediately knew that something was even more the matter than she'd thought.

Dr. D was never up this early unless he'd actually stayed up until morning—

"Drakken?" She heard what had to be her own voice ask, except it was far too hoarse from sleep, and it stuck in her throat. Clearing her throat, she took a quick sip of coffee, and when she spoke again, she sounded better. "Where are you going?"

He didn't even turn around when he answered. "Does it really matter as long as it's _away_ from _you_?" He spat, and she recoiled as if slapped; it was one of the few actually _mean_ things he'd ever said to her. If it had been from anybody else, it wouldn't have fazed her at all, but from _him_ it was an unpleasant, unexpected attack; it left her feeling as confused as she'd have been if she'd been surrounded by lions and a _sheep_ had suddenly decided to try to gnaw her leg off or something,

Drakken finally whipped around to glare at her, and he was only further angered as she gave him a perplexed, almost uncomprehending stare. What, did she think he was going to get over it _that_ easily? After being put in mortal danger just because she was _offended_?

"You just have _no_ concept of the severity of what you did, do you?" He said coldly. The sight of Shego looking all _innocent_ with her bed-head and her little slippers seemed suddenly deeply offensive to him. She had _no_ business looking like that now when he could still remember the snarl on her lips and the mad, wrathful fire in her eyes as she pushed him out of the battle robot.

Somewhere in his mind, he registered the fact that she looked suspiciously frazzled and tired, and that her face was showing a lot more emotion than usual, but it was far from enough to alleviate the damage she'd done. It would take a lot more than that to convince him that she was repentant. She probably thought nothing of it, most likely she was just afraid of losing her job—

Shego cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Um, look…Drakken, I—"

"I don't want to hear it." He said tightly, and he really didn't; right now he felt so upset he knew he wouldn't even be able to think clearly, let alone actually listen to any explanations or even apologies that she might bring forward. He needed to get away for a while before dealing with this, or he'd just explode again—

The tension broke temporarily as a nervous henchman sidled up to them.

"Dr. Drakken, uh, there's a woman calling for you."

Drakken glanced at the henchman, briefly disoriented. "What? Oh, yes, um…just tell her I'll be there in an hour."

"Okay." The henchman nodded before hurrying away.

Shego turned to Drakken, frowning curiously. "Who's—?"

His face tightened with barely contained anger. "None of your business, Shego."

"Dr. D–" Shego began, a note of frustrated confusion in her objection.

"I'll be gone for a week. Consider yourself on unpaid vacation, starting right now." He told her sourly, before turning on his heel and leaving for his room.

He could feel Shego's eyes on the back of his head as he walked away. She obviously hadn't expected him to leave like that, and was probably stunned.

Good for her.

* * *

**Author's note:** **Self-esteem** is obviously set after _Partners_, and **Security of Body** and **Respect** is set after _Go Team Go_. This chapter reached seventeen pages, so I split it in two. The next chapter will be up soon.

* * *


	3. THREE

**Maslow  
**Ninnik Nishukan**

* * *

Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.**

* * *

Family

* * *

**

Being out of work for a week was boring, especially since it was involuntary, and she'd tried getting a job with other villains, but it all just felt weird.

She'd put out ads on the web pages of Villains Weekly and Villainess, and after only a day or so, she'd started getting calls.

First there was Killigan, whom she'd already met on another occasion…and when that hadn't work out due to 'creative differences'— i.e. he hadn't put up with her wisecracks, not to mention the fact that her salary had been ridiculously low for someone with her expertise— she'd agreed to work with some Lord-type named Monty Fiske, whom she'd quickly realized was the same guy whom DNAmy had dumped Drakken for that time. After all, there really weren't that many people with monkey hands and feet around.

Except for his obvious skills with Tai Sheng Pek Kwar, she hadn't quite been able to see the big appeal about Fiske, but then she supposed she'd been right in assuming that for DNAmy, it was all about the genetically engineered monkey parts and his love for animals, mostly monkeys.

Monty Fiske had needed some extra help for a big job and had hired her because of her ninja-like skills, and he'd seemed to put up with her sarcastic humour better than Killigan…but he'd fired her when she'd complained about his monkeys. They'd smelled, they'd made annoying noises and they'd kept pulling at her long hair— how could she _not_ complain?

But he knew she wouldn't have worked for them for long in any case— obsession was common in super villains, and Drakken had his obsession with taking over the world, but the world was a very big place, and Dr. Drakken used many varied methods in his attempts to reach his goal— an obsession with golf or monkeys, on the other hand, quickly became very limiting. Shego had no interest in either of those things, and so she'd ended up terminating her cooperation with Killigan and then Monty Fiske in quick succession.

She'd even tried to contact Junior, but his father was screening her calls.

Now she was at a loss.

Drakken, however much she annoyed him, never seemed to need a vacation from her the same way she did from him. After all, super villains were typical attention seekers and thrived in front of an audience; even an audience of one. This was one of the reasons why she was content to stay his sidekick as long as he respected her; she didn't give a rat's ass about all the attention and pompous speeches as long as she got to throw a few punches and kicks and had plenty of money to live the lifestyle to which she'd been accustomed.

So Drakken had never ditched her before, and now that he actually _had_, it had left her feeling utterly nonplussed. She had no problems with ditching him, but _he_ had never ditched_ her_ before, and it just felt…wrong. The only time he'd ever separated himself willingly from her outside of the weekends and her vacations was now, and that had to mean he was really hurt.

Yes, he'd been childish and insensitive, yes, he'd been a jerk about it when she'd obviously been very touchy about the subject of her family, and yes, he'd deserved some retaliation. There wasn't even a question about that. That wasn't even the problem. The problem was that he hadn't deserved such _severe_ retaliation. He hadn't deserved to be put in any real danger.

She said stuff like that to him all the time, yet he never got angry— no, that was an exaggeration. Yes, she'd teased him about his mother, but that was just that— teasing. He'd seen a weakness in her and had really been trying to _get under her skin_. And he _did_ get angry when she teased him, too— though granted, it was a frustrated, helpless kind of angry, the kind of angry where you simply counted to ten and got over it, the kind of angry where you were more generally irritated than foaming mad, where you didn't actually _act_ on your emotions— most of the time.

Shego swallowed heavily, closing her eyes; she'd just gotten so terribly, terribly _furious_. So honestly mad with rage that she hadn't known what to do with herself— and so she'd opted for doing something to someone else, instead.

She'd been like that for as long as she could remember. Usually, she was as cool as a cucumber, even disinterestedly so, but sometimes, just every once in a while, she'd just lose her head completely. Of course, that could be exactly _why_ she'd get so angry. Maybe it was because usually she'd bottle up her emotions so well that the anger acted as her only real emotional outlet, or some such pop psycho babble. Who knew?

Shego dropped lazily onto the couch in the lab, sighing heavily. Six of the seven days of the week he'd said he'd be gone were nearly up, and she was now well on her way into a full-fledged, uncomfortably guilt-ridden sulk, her face grimacing irritably as she tried to ignore the feeling of her stomach tying itself into knots.

He'd better come back after that week was over, or she'd…

What? She'd what?

Shego groaned as she stretched out on the coach, resting her head on one of the throw pillows. She was bored and bothered and tired and restless and confused at the same time, and she hated it.

Letting her thoughts wander as she stared aimlessly up into the ceiling, they eventually came around to her brothers.

It had been strange seeing them again, to say the least.

Strange…and annoying.

'Annoying' was the key word, really. She didn't actually _hate_ her brothers, per se…she just didn't want to actually be _around _them, either.

She'd almost repressed how it really was to work with them, sometimes even managing to remember some of the few good times, but now it had all come flooding back.

She'd gotten so used to her life with Dr. D that her past had started to gradually melt away, and she'd been fine with that— there was after all a _reason_ why she'd dropped out of the super hero business.

Her brothers' annoying behavior and her short fuse wasn't exactly a good combination.

She and the Doc, however, they just kind of…worked.

He was the positive, creative energy to counter her negative, unmotivated, image-conscious cynicism, and she was the stable common sense to counter his unrealistic, easily distractible megalomaniac nature.

With her brothers, the irritation was one-sided, and that was the problem. Five minutes with them, and she wanted to carve out her own eyes with a spoon and pound stakes into her own ears so she wouldn't have to see or hear them.

With Drakken, well…he certainly annoyed her, but the thing was that she also annoyed him as much as he did her. She could live with being occasionally irritated when she knew she was irritating him just as much. Unlike her brothers, who were often oblivious to even the most blatant insults, Drakken was oh-so-easy to frustrate and throw off balance. Self-proclaimed geniuses often were.

And unlike with her brothers, the irritation between her and Drakken wasn't actually a _constant._

Sure, Hego was also annoyingly keen and positive, but unlike Drakken, he didn't have the genius to back it up.

And of course, the fact that Drakken was positive about doing _evil _instead of _good_ gave him that sinister edge that toned the annoyance factor down some.

Then there was the whole issue of quantity. There were four of her brothers, but there was only one of Drakken. That helped things considerably. If there had been four of Drakken, she would've probably gone insane. When she'd threatened to clone him to ensure that he would never nag her about cloning her again, the threat had been completely idle; there was no chance in hell that she was going to _ever_ make any Drakken clones!

Then again, she supposed Drakken would've reacted the same way if it had been vice versa. Four Shegos constantly criticizing him and giving him sass would've probably sent him and his fragile ego into a coma, but she was sure he'd never taken _that_ into consideration back when he'd wanted to clone her. Shego chuckled as she imagined it—

—but then she suddenly remembered the current situation again.

Was he really that mad? Would he be coming back? Would she be fired?

And who was this _woman_ he was visiting? He wasn't thinking of _replacing_ her, was he? Because that would just be _totally_ unacceptable—

Good grief, it wasn't _DNAmy_ again, was it?

_Nah. _

Besides, DNAmy probably couldn't fight worth a damn, so she was hardly a threat to Shego's position. Not only was DNAmy more the mad scientist type as well, but she wasn't exactly very physically fit, and she was so 'cute and cuddly' all the time that Shego had real trouble imagining her, say, giving someone an uppercut.

Shego rolled over on her stomach, chucking the throw pillow to the floor in helpless frustration.

_Stupid Dr. D and the stupid wounded look in his stupid __**eyes**__…!

* * *

_

After a few days away from his lair and away from Shego, the anger and hurt turned into something more like wistful moping.

Why did she have to get so _angry_? Why did she have to be so...so _violent_?

And how could she have done that to him?

Usually, she just _threatened _him with violence, but now—

He'd really thought— and after he'd even gone all the way over to Go City for the sole purpose of _rescuing her_, too—

How was he supposed to know she was _that_ sensitive about her family?

But touchy or not, she'd gone _far _overboard, and she'd _better_ realize it, or he'd…he'd— there was just _no_ scenario in which that comment about her brothers would warrant putting him in mortal danger like that!

He could tolerate her occasionally threatening him, but the thought of what she'd done made him angry and broke his heart at the same time. The problem was that unlike with Shego, stuff like this often made him feel more hurt than filled with thoughts of murderous vengefulness— _well,_ he admitted to himself, _at first, anyway_— and now, as he sat in his mother's kitchen, he felt as if all the air had gone out of him.

Now, after a few days had gone by and he'd calmed down, all he could do was wonder why she'd done it. He felt confused and frustrated and _betrayed_ and--

"Drewbie?"

"Hmm?" Drakken asked absently, moodily stirring his coffee with a spoon. His mother had put too much sugar in it again.

His mother was standing over him, coffee pot in hand as she looked at him with worry. "Why don't you tell your old mother what's wrong, huh?"

Drakken looked up reluctantly, grimacing. "Nothing, Mother."

"Don't be silly, Drew Lipsky," she protested, her voice taking on a slightly sterner quality. "Your own mother _knows_ when you're upset. Usually you never come visit me, so there _must_ be something the matter."

Drakken winced; great, now he had to deal with guilt over never seeing his mother on _top_ of the whole Shego issue? "My...my radio show assistant and I had a sort of...falling out," he admitted eventually.

"Oh," his mother's eyebrows rose in surprise and concern. "You don't think you'll have to let her go, do you?"

Drakken bit his lip. "I don't know."

"You and this assistant, are you close?" She asked, starting to look intrigued.

"Uh...no, I don't know...we've worked together for a number of years, if that's what you mean," he said, shrugging.

His mother leaned closer. "It _is_ a woman, right?"

Drakken grimaced uncertainly. "What does _that_ have to do with anything?"

"Nothing." His mother smiled enigmatically, and Drakken rolled his eyes to himself; Mother was always trying to set him up with somebody. Last time it was the daughter of one of her bingo buddies, who'd quickly and discreetly excused herself as soon as she'd taken one look at his blue skin. His mother didn't seem to be able to process the fact that a lot of women wouldn't exactly consider her son to be a catch; but then she didn't know about the whole villain thing, either. "And why were you two fighting, Drewbie?"

"Um...I made a…a careless comment about her brothers, and she...well, you could say she got a lot more _upset_ with me than she should've been..." he said haltingly; why was he even telling his mother all this? She didn't even know that he was a villain, and he'd have no chance at actually explaining it properly to her either way, as he'd just have to keep editing out the dodgier details of his life—

She gave a scandalized gasp. "Drew! She didn't— she wasn't _violent_, was she?"

Drakken flinched slightly. "Not _exactly_..."

His mother rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Well, either she was violent or she wasn't!"

"A little bit, maybe," he muttered evasively, ducking his head.

Mama Lipsky's eyes narrowed, her small fists clenching. "You just take me to her and I'll give her a good talking-to! No one can do that to _my_ son and get away with it!"

"It's not like that, Mother, there's no need!" Drakken objected hastily, shaking his head profusely; he could just _imagine_ how _that_ kind of scenario would turn out. Despite being a villain, he wouldn't even wish his mother on his worst enemy, let alone Shego.

"Are you _sure_?" She asked skeptically, tilting her head at him in concern.

"Yes, Mother, I'm sure. Now I'm taking my coffee to my room for a bit, all right? I want to look at some of my old stuff," he added, lying through his teeth so as not to hurt her. Really, he just wanted to be alone for a while. There was a _reason_ why he was staying at a hotel nearby during the evenings and not at his Mother's house.

His mother immediately brightened at that. "Oh, that's nice! You have a fun time, Drewbie."

Drakken sighed gloomily as he took a detour to the bathroom to pour the over-sweetened coffee into the sink. Even after all those years, his mother still couldn't remember that he liked his coffee black.

Maybe he could understand what it was like to have annoying family members. His mother _meant_ well, sure, but didn't they all? Shego's brothers had probably also meant well; after all, they were super heroes. Sometimes people just got on each other's nerves, that was all. And sometimes, as with him and his mother, it was only one-sided.

Judging from her furious reaction, though, Drakken guessed that his relationship to his own mother was a bit better than that of Shego's to her brothers. Drakken did care for his mother, and he loved her cooking, and admittedly it was nice to feel loved sometimes, even if she was very often far too smothering, but Shego got boiling mad just by the mention of the fact that she might not be able to betray her own family.

Drakken was sure that if Shego knew that he'd...well, basically run off to his mother, she would bother him about it for days, especially if that was the kind of relationship she had with her own family.

He knew he should've just thrown Shego out of the lair for a week instead of leaving himself— it would probably have gotten his point better across, at least— but he'd been hurt enough to actually want to visit his mother, bothersome though she could be, because he'd needed some comfort. Besides, Shego wasn't exactly the kind of person you could just 'throw out', unless she actually _wanted_ to be thrown out. So he'd chosen the easier option, and had simply left.

Drakken sighed again as he walked down the hallway to his old room.

From the very second she'd opened her mouth, Shego had been all about the sass. Who in the world was that impolite even at a _job interview_? Or she hadn't been _impolite_, exactly— more like impatient, no-nonsense and completely disinterested in bothering with formalities. She must've really had a lot of confidence in her abilities to be that forward— fortunately for her, though, he'd had that same confidence about her and what she was capable of.

He'd _seen_ something in her.

Now, however, he wasn't so sure if her impudence and her violent tendencies-- _Violent tendencies? This from the guy who wrecked his own TV in a fit of rage?_ interjected an annoyingly honest voice in his head, which he was quick to ignore-- were worth her company and her talents anymore.

Even days later, he could still feel the rush of the cold wind and the panic setting in at the sensation of his fingers going numb and his grip slipping—

Which was why, when his mother had greeted him with her usual clingy, attack-like brand of hug, he'd accepted it for once instead of trying to squirm his way out of it. It had felt grounding, and he'd admittedly been a little needy for some affection after what Shego had done to him.

Drakken sat down on his old bed as he entered his childhood room, and sank down into the unpredictable mires of memory.

He could still remember the first time he'd given Shego a tour of his secret lair. At the time, it had been his _only_ lair, and he'd been quite proud of it.

"_Impressive, isn't it?" He'd asked cockily, with a sweeping arm gesture._

_Shego had only looked as if a guy had just tried picking her up at a seedy bar by telling her that he was a professional lion tamer or something. "Yeah, well, James Whale just called. He wants his decorator back."_

_Since he'd expected her to be impressed, he'd been momentarily thrown off his game when she wasn't. "James Whale? Who's Jame— oh, very funny. So you're saying my lair is some sort of Dr. Frankenstein rip-off? Please! I'm much more high-tech, much less sloppy and much less insane— and besides, I mean, what does it matter, anyway? You can't be a mad scientist without drawing at least a __**little**__ inspiration from those old movies, now can you?"_

_Shego had still looked thoroughly blasé. "Those don't have any function whatsoever, do they?" She asked dryly as she pointed at some of the more space-consuming equipment. _

"_Of course they do, they're— they're there to look ominous and threatening, that's what! This is a villain's lair, Miss Shego—what would you prefer instead? Floral-patterned curtains and some pastel throw pillows? This place is supposed to look __**sinister**__!"_

"_Whatever." She'd said in a bored tone of voice. _

"_I mean, why do you think I even have a stupid__** Tesla coil**__ standing here? It's not as if I'm actually going to __**use**__ it, it's just part of the decor!" _

_Shego had only scoffed. "Yeah, that's kind of the problem, isn't it? All this junk kind of just seems unnecessary. Not very cost-efficient, is it? I'm sure you could've afforded yourself another death ray or whatever if you hadn't blown all that money on meaningless scrap metal."_

"_But— but it's __**mandatory**__!"_

"_You need to change your way of thinking if you're gonna make it big in this business, Doc."_

"_What do __**you**__ know about it? You're obviously new to this, and I don't see __**you**__ with your own secret lair— and, and I'm older than you, anyway!"_

"_Older isn't always wiser, then, apparently."_

How was it that Shego could insult him and tease him all she liked, but the very second _he_ teased _her_ about something for once, she flew completely off the handle?

Maybe because what he'd said had gone beyond mere teasing, and he'd known it.

He supposed there were some things that were off topic with her, and he'd suspected he might touch a nerve with her about her brothers, but he hadn't been able to help himself. After all, it wasn't often that the tables turned with them and he found some 'weakness' to bug _her _about.

It had been reckless of him, he knew, but he really hadn't expected her to react _that_ violently; usually she just yelled at him or, in the rare instances when she was actually angry enough, threw an easily dodge-able plasma blast or two at him. This time…this time, well…he really _had_ touched a nerve with her.

But_ she_ had bothered_ him_ about personal stuff plenty of times, yet_ he'd_ never—

Of course, accusing a fellow villain or villainess of having gone 'soft' _was _a pretty bold insult. And he'd just gone on, ignoring the warning note in her voice— _"Like a marshmallow!"_

He cringed a bit at that. Okay, fine, so that hadn't been the smartest thing he'd ever done.

Okay, so maybe he'd deserved…_something_, but couldn't she just have…have insulted him back or, or…slapped him or something? She'd gone _way_ overboard.

Drakken wasn't sure what to feel about everything. He was angry, of course, but he also felt hurt and oddly guilty at the same time, and he had no idea what to do when he returned. He supposed he'd have to wait and see how she treated him when he came back…if she was even still there, that was.

If not, he might be forced to consider putting in an ad and look for a new sidekick.

* * *

**Respect, Part II

* * *

**

At the end of the week, she waited anxiously for his return, and for once she wasn't afraid to display it. She knew she'd have to show some goodwill if she was to be able to stay with him and keep her job. She knew she also deserved some sort of apology from his side, but she doubted His Royal Pompousness would ever get around to it, and she supposed he wouldn't see it her way after having been put in mortal danger, so she'd thought about it and had decided to let it go just this once.

Time to swallow some pride. Or at least she would if he wasn't all smug about it— then he could just forget it.

When he walked in through the front door, she was there waiting for him, and she could tell it took him by surprise. So far, so good.

A week away had obviously mellowed him out a bit, because his voice was not unkind when he spoke. "Hello, Shego."

"Hi, Dr. D," she greeted him tentatively.

"Didn't think you'd still be here," he remarked in a quiet tone.

She wasn't sure what that tone meant, but she simply shrugged. "I'm still employed here, aren't I?"

"I suppose so," Drakken said slowly, raising a perplexed eyebrow; he hadn't expected her to stick around when he was gone. Surely she'd get bored and try to find work elsewhere?

"Uh…so…" Shego bit her lip, showing, for her, an unusual amount of reservation and even guilt as her body language told him that she was in fact waiting for him to take the lead.

"Don't you have anything you want to say to me?" He prompted sternly, as she said nothing further. He'd wanted to be mad. He'd wanted to startle her by storming into her room and yelling at her, but now—

—well, now she'd ruined everything by standing there waiting for him like some kind of faithful dog. It was unfair, and he felt as if he'd been cheated of something.

She nodded, her gaze flickering across his face. "Yeah. Um…I just…" She mumbled as she walked towards him.

It was supposed to be a sort of hug, he realized, as she did an awkward, hesitant movement, standing on the tips of her toes and kind of putting her arm halfway around his back in a skittish motion and squeezing his shoulder briefly before letting go.

Shego was obviously not a person who was used to hugging, though he'd never imagined that she _was_, either.

"Sorry and everything, okay?" She muttered reluctantly, shrugging as she separated them by taking a couple of steps back.

"That's…all right." Drakken said uncertainly as he stared at her. She couldn't have astonished him more if she'd donned a chicken suit and had started performing the entirety of The Sound of Music by herself. She was trying to be the adult, so to speak, and he felt a stab of guilt for having left instead of just talking— or yelling— it out to begin with, which aggravated him. He had no reason to feel guilty!

She actually gave him something that _almost_ looked like a relieved smile, then. He frowned in stupefaction as he got the urge to apologize for the 'soft like a marshmallow' comment; that urge was hastily squashed.

He'd thought he wanted to teach her a lesson, like she'd done to him after that whole mind control ordeal, to make her feel how traumatic it had been for him, but this was different. She hadn't actually put him in any _danger_ when she'd gotten back at him that time, and he couldn't bring himself to _deliberately_ put her life at risk simply to prove a point with her.

Shego had done what she'd done because she'd been completely furious; it had been done in the heat of the moment. If _he_ did something like that now, it would be _planned_; it would be calm and collected—

Dr. Drakken was all about the revenge, and if it had been anybody else, sure, no problem— but not Shego.

Besides, what was the point of 'teaching her a lesson' when it looked like she_ had_ already been taught that lesson? He couldn't remember having _ever_ heard her actually _apologizing_ to him before, or at least not sincerely, and she'd certainly never _hugged_ him before.

It seemed as if his absence had served a purpose, after all.

Shego had deprived him of the revenge he'd thought he wanted, but he couldn't have dangled her helplessly several thousand feet up into the air after she'd just _hugged_ him. He was a villain, yes, but he wasn't completely _heartless_.

Still, he decided then and there to make sure to create a massive dent in her pay check for the month. That ought to be punishment enough.

The awkward moment was interrupted as one of the henchmen walked up to them. "Miss Shego?" He began carefully. "A gentleman named Monkey Fist called. He just sent one of his monkey ninjas around with this for you, said you forgot it at his place a couple of days ago, after you'd stolen that ancient artifact for him."

In the henchman's hand, there was what looked unmistakably like Shego's iPod; her name was even carved into the side of the plastic. Shego had made a habit of putting her name on a lot of her stuff, in fact, to keep Drakken or his henchmen from messing with it.

In the silence that followed, you could have heard a ball of lint being dropped to the floor.

Shego's eyes turned apprehensively towards the doctor's face, her own face rearranging itself into a sheepish grin. "Um…oh, so _that's_ where it was…"

There was a sharp sound as Drakken sucked in an offended breath.

"SHEGO!"

Grabbing her iPod, Shego scurried quickly across the floor, her footsteps sounding more like those of a frightened rodent than a tigress on the prowl as she made a break for her room. "!" She blurted evasively, and then she was gone.

_Typical_, Drakken sighed testily as his anger, unconsummated as he was now unable to yell at her, simmered below the surface.

But despite everything, they both knew that she'd still be his sidekick in the morning.

What Drakken _didn't _know, however, was _why_ she'd decided to stay, and she'd probably never tell him. She'd never been good at giving compliments, and he'd just get an even bigger ego if she ever admitted that he was by far her favorite villain to work with.

When she noticed he'd given her a very solid pay-cut the next time she received her salary, she couldn't get herself to complain. And she was sure he'd bring her salary right back up in no time, anyway.

* * *

**Author's note:** Everything is still set after _Go Team Go_.

**EDIT (18.07.09)****: **Yeah, I did another rewrite. Yeah, that sucks, but I still simply wasn't happy with the chapter.

**EDIT (13.08.08):** For months, I'd felt that Shego was portrayed in_ too_ negative a light in Drakken's eyes in this chapter; too violent, for one thing. Shego doesn't go around breaking stuff in the lair; in fact, I can't remember ever seeing her do it. And I'd forgotten about the 'soft like a marshmallow' insult. To be realistic, he held _some_ of the blame there himself. So I did a small rewrite.

**James Whale** (July 22, 1889 – May 29, 1957) was a ground-breaking Hollywood film director, best known for his work in the horror movie genre, making such momentous and iconic pictures as _Frankenstein_, _Bride of Frankenstein_, and _The Invisible Man (source: reference dot com)_

Another thing...I personally think Monkey Fist is kinda cute, and I can see his appeal to others— I just don't imagine that Shego does.

I guess I wanted _Drakken_ to ditch _Shego_ for once— even_ he_ has to reach the end of his rope sometimes, huh?— and this is the only situation in season 2 that I thought warranted such a response.

* * *


	4. FOUR

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Self-****esteem, Part II**

* * *

"Yes, Mother, I had a nice time yesterday, too...yes...what? Do I really have to say tha— I'm all grown up now, Mother, sheesh— okay, okay, but if it makes you happy, I'll say that I'm still your 'little Drewbie'…!" Drakken said with a discomfited, tight grin, shifty-eyed as he tried to see if any of the henchmen— or worse, Shego— had overheard the mushy conversation. "Bye, bye, Mother!" 

As he hung up the phone, there was a voice behind him. "Have a nice talk, Drewbie?"

He jumped, startled, and spun around on his heel, ready with a death glare. "Don't _call_ me that!"

Shego was standing there, clad in her bathing suit, as she had obviously just been using her tanning bed. She was also wearing sunglasses, and it annoyed Drakken further that he couldn't see her eyes; all he was subjected to was a wide, mocking grin.

"Call you what?" She teased, faking ignorance. "Do you mean..._Drewbie_?"

He growled in vexation; she was having far too much fun with this. He'd _known_ that Shego would never let him hear the end of it if she ever met his mother, and now it had finally happened. His mother really needed to kick her habit of showing up unannounced. Of course, she was his _mother_, so he supposed that _technically_, she had every right, and he also supposed she did it because he never contacted her, but still— she had obvious issues with understanding that he was a grown man and needed to live his own life.

He'd often wondered if maybe she'd stop nagging him so much if he _did _ever 'meet a nice girl and settle down', because that always seemed to be her main complaint. He'd been a bachelor for far too long, he knew, but mad scientists _did _tend to be bachelors for obvious reasons, and Drakken did like the freedom, even if the loneliness got to him sometimes.

Besides, he never had time to get _too_ lonely, because Shego would always show up with one of her sarcastic comments. Unfortunately.

It was always so much easier to get happily lost in his evil plans when she wasn't around— then again, what was the point of having all those great ideas for evil plans if he didn't have anyone to share them with? Even if that person happened to be snarky and critical, at least it was something.

It would be really nice if she could give him a break sometimes, however, he thought as he scowled at her. "Why do you always have to mock me?" He demanded.

"Because you're always so grouchy." She said nonchalantly, a crooked smirk on her lips. Yep, she was_ obviously_ having a lot of fun.

"I'm grouchy because you _mock _me!" He barked, outraged.

"And I mock you because you're grouchy. It's a vicious cycle, nothing I can do." She shrugged carelessly, as if she had no part in it.

"SHEGO!"

"Calm down, Drewbie, no need to get all huffy," She snickered, pinching his cheek in a patronizing 'there, there' kind of fashion.

"Stop it!" Drakken growled as his skin was tugged recklessly around.

"No _wonder _Mama Lipsky likes to pinch your cheeks!" She teased, grinning evilly. "They're just so darn…pinch-able!"

"Very funny, Shego!" Drakken grunted irritably, swatting her hands away. "Villains don't have— have _pinch-able__ cheeks_!"

She danced away gracefully, laughing mockingly at him as he clenched his fists and scowled after her. "You're ruining my image!"

In her experience, men in general didn't much like it when you gave them qualities that were considered as cute or sweet, and evil villain men even less so. He'd probably be annoyed for the rest of the day now, she thought smugly. He'd always had a thing about worrying whether he was evil enough or not, and this would certainly set him back considerably on the Evil-O-Meter of his mind.

It was Thursday night, and Shego decided to take an early weekend and ditch the lair for one of her many little hideouts. Not only would it spare her his whining, but it would also get her out of karaoke night tomorrow.

As she was driving out to get a bite to eat, her thoughts drifted away as lampposts and buildings and other cars rolled by.

Because she'd only been wearing a bathing suit, that had been the first time she'd touched his face without any gloves on, and it had felt different than what she might've imagined. He'd obviously just had a shave, and his face had been smooth and warm. It had been…almost…_nice_.

* * *

When she returned the next Monday, she was met with a smugly grinning Drakken instead of the petulantly sulking one she'd expected. 

"See anything new, Shego?"

"Yeah, you really let yourself go when there are no women around, don't you?" She remarked with a raised eyebrow. "Did you forget to shave _all weekend_?"

He made one of those frustrated grunts she knew so well, and glowered at her. "I'm growing a beard!" He exclaimed impatiently.

Her eyebrows shot up. "_You_? You're growing a—"An indelicate scoff left her. "A-a _beard_?"

His eyes narrowed. "And just what is wrong with _that _now?"

"What're you trying to do, look like Duff Killigan?" She laughed derisively.

His oh-so-pinch-able cheeks reddened under the bristly beginnings of his new beard. He obviously hadn't thought of that. "No! I just— I— nngh!" He threw his hands up in irritation.

"That's what he'll say, you know. That you're copying him." She grinned crookedly. "Not only do you steal Dementor's inventions, but now you're copying Killiga—"

"Enough!" He snapped.

"This is about what I said about your cheeks, isn't it?" She tilted her hip at him, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him an overbearing look. "Really, Chief, you're _so_ sensitive!"

He crossed his arms over his chest as well, narrowing his eyes at her. "Anything _else_ wrong with me?"

She gave him a shameless smirk. "Any number of things, Dr.D. You want a list?"

Any second now, smoke would be coming out of his ears, she thought.

"What have I said about hurting—"

"—with our words? Yeah, yeah, I know," She rolled her eyes, sighing. "Look, whatever— if it makes you feel any better, your cheeks are evil, okay? You have _evil _cheeks. Satisfied?" She said sweetly before pushing him in the direction of the bathroom. "Now go and shave that stupid pseudo-beard off. You look like you've been stranded in Vegas for a week with no money."

It was odd, she thought when he left in a huff, he could be so tastelessly bragging and megalomaniacal, but when it came right down to it, the man actually didn't have that much self-confidence at all.

That was the thing about Dr. D— he always bragged about how smart he was, but never about how good he looked, because he probably thought he didn't. And even about the smart thing— if he always felt the need to prove himself, then he couldn't actually have that much confidence when it came to _that_, either, right?

* * *

Drakken frowned at himself in the mirror, letting the handful of shaving cream pause halfway through its journey to his cheek.

Why was he always so affected by Shego's opinion? Why did he always have to let her get to him? And what was he supposed to do now? If he shaved his so-called

'pseudo-beard'— he grimaced, grumbling to himself about what she'd described it as— it would send a signal to her that her opinions held some sort of power over him, but then again, if he _didn't _shave his beard off, it would mean the exact same thing, since if was because of _her_ teasing that he'd even grown the stupid beard in the_ first_ place—

Good grief, it was all just so maddening...!

Why did she always have to go out of her way to worm out his weaknesses and then rub his nose in them? Was she really that much of a sadist?

Why did she have this acute inability to be civil towards him? What was her deal? Did she want to see if she could agitate him so much he'd finally suffer from a heart attack or something? Was that it?

Sometimes it was hard to decide whether he should detest her or just feel sorry for her.

Sometimes he wondered if she thought the same thing about him, too.

Drakken sighed as he started spreading the shaving foam across his face. It hadn't just been teasing from her side, he decided. She'd been right— the beard did look silly.

Possible and even the buffoon would have probably just laughed at him, and he preferred getting laughed at by Shego instead of his arch foe any day. Rude though she'd been, deep down she'd probably meant well. Maybe.

Shego sighed as she waited for him—she was sure she could think of something better to do if she only tried, but he probably had some new evil plot to tell her; it was only Monday, after all, and the start of a new week of doing evil— filing the claws on her gloves at the table in front of the kind of large monitor he seemed to have in every lair they'd ever lived in.

She channel-surfed listlessly, yawning as she was only met with game shows and soap operas. Served her right for actually attempting to watch TV in the daytime, she thought, looking bored.

Letting her thoughts wander as she filed her claws, her mind led her to Drakken again. Gods, he could be so touchy! Okay, so she'd mocked him, and it _had_ been her intention to rile him up, because she loved to watch him squirm with irritation and yell at her, but seriously— they'd worked together for several years, and he _still_ hadn't managed to figure out that all you had to do to disarm someone's mocking was to laugh with them or ignore them instead of getting mad?

Not that _she_ could keep from getting mad, either, but that was beside the point.

He really was very grouchy, and even though she liked to tease him because he'd get so grouchy, she often got exasperated over how much of a damn sourpuss he could be sometimes. He always took everything personally and had sulked and moped his way through countless hours of his life. She didn't like moping or sulking, which was why she often tried to snap him out of it.

Sulking wasn't her style— she just got mad and got it over with. It was all around easier that way, and it certainly didn't waste time. Sometimes it seemed to Shego that wasting time was what Drakken was all about— he always took his sweet time with the ranting and the gloating and the unnecessarily complicated planning, which was never a good combination with her impatience.

Other times, though, she thought as he finally came back, self-consciously stroking his face and giving a fleeting, trying grin as he looked up and met her eyes, she almost even kind of liked the guy. Sometimes he actually even listened to her when she told him to lighten up. And if nothing else, he was always entertaining.

And sometimes just a little bit cute when he was angry.

* * *

**Friendship**

* * *

Kim Possible hadn't faded into non-existence, and they'd ended up covered in Body Odor Spray from the embarrassment ninjas, but for some reason, Shego still felt as giddy as a school girl. 

After about three or four showers, that was.

Wrapped up in her pajamas and her robe and patting down her damp hair with a towel, Shego shuffled into the kitchen on her slippers to hunt down some snacks, humming happily to herself as she raided the fridge and the cupboards until she had a nice plate of salad, a sandwich, some cookies and a glass of milk. She was about to go into the living room when she heard soft, dragging footsteps.

"What are _you _looking so happy about?"

Turning towards the door, she caught sight of Drakken, also clad in his pajamas, slippers and robe, his loose hair looking damp from the multiple showers he must have also taken to get rid of the Body Odor Spray. He was in a bit of a mood, too, it seemed.

She shrugged, smiling briefly, "Even _I _can be in a good mood sometimes."

Drakken only gave her a sour 'Yeah, right' kind of look as he padded across the floor to the fridge. There was relative silence as he rummaged through it in the quest for something edible. As he picked up a carrot from the vegetable drawer, he was reminded of the cheerleader brat's red hair, and grunted with resentment, flinging the carrot back into the drawer and pushing the drawer closed with a dull thud.

Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore.

It always had to turn out like this, didn't it? And the worst thing was that they'd tried _so_ many things lately, because he'd been fortunate enough to experience a flood of evil inspiration, churning out plan after plan— he'd particularly been certain that the plan in outer space was going to work; he'd had the annoying teen tied up and everything, damn her fancy gadgets— yet they'd failed. More plans than usual obviously meant more failures than usual, too, and his ego was really beginning to feel the burn.

"So, we lost again, huh?" He tightened his fists in frustration after slamming the fridge door shut. "And we almost had her this time, too!" He added, whole-heartedly peeved.

He'd been so pleased when he'd figured out he'd have to get rid of his arch foe first before ever trying to take over the world again, and he'd been even more proud of the way in which he'd been going to do it— making a teenager pop out of existence simply by way of her own embarrassment was just utterly _devious_, even for him. It had been perfect, and yet…

"Oh, well," Shego said almost cheerfully, disregarding his complaints, "at least we had some fun!"

Drakken pouted; did she not see the severity of their failure? Did she not see his wounded pride? "Fun? What good is _that_ when Kim Possible is still—"

"We took some pictures, remember?" Shego interrupted him, grinning in a self-satisfied kind of way.

Drakken brightened immediately, doing a complete emotional U-turn as he hurried over to her. "Oooh, right, we did! Let me look!"

Shego laughed. He could be such a big kid! Then again, she supposed she wasn't acting much better right then. She just felt so unusually light-hearted!

"I'd have to get my camera," She said mirthfully, "I don't have them here."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" He prompted eagerly, practically bouncing on the spot.

Snickering at his sudden enthusiasm, she supposed she could oblige him; besides, she was eager to see the pictures herself. "Wait here," She said as she set the tray of food down, hurrying to her room.

When she came back, he was already setting up his laptop in what passed for a living room in their lair. "Here," he began as he heard her footsteps, "we can hook your digital camera up to the laptop, and then…" He continued as he turned to her with a flourish, "…then we can watch it all on the_ big_ screen," he said, grinning wickedly as he pointed to the almost unnecessarily large screen he always liked to have in his lair to show off the graphic presentations of his plans with.

Smirking a little, Shego set to hooking up her camera. After she was done and stood back up, she noticed Dr. D standing there with two large glasses when she turned around.

"Brandy?" He asked generously as he grinned a little, holding out the glass to her.

Blinking in surprise— she couldn't really remember ever seeing Drakken drink— she nodded slowly as she accepted the glass.

While she began to eat her supper, Drakken hurried to make a bowl of popcorn, more or less _dashing_ back into the living room in his keenness to see the pictures, a few kernels spilling from the bowl unheeded as he made his way to the couch. They arranged themselves in front of the screen, and Shego snatched a cookie from her plate, leaning eagerly forward as she took a bite, waiting for Dr. D to start flipping through the images.

She almost spit out her brandy in delighted shock as she saw the first embarrassing picture of Kim Possible.

This was going to be _great_.

She was so enraptured that she didn't even object when Drakken absentmindedly stole one of her cookies.

* * *

A couple of minutes later, they were both doubled over in laughter. 

"Oh, oh, and did you see— with the whoopee cushion, and with the table, falling over—"She babbled in between laughter.

"Priceless!" He agreed, grinning widely. "And you even got a little video of her, that was just so—"He cut himself off as he couldn't keep from laughing again.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye; she heard him laugh constantly, but there was a rather large difference, she found, between the standard _Muhahahah!-_type maniacal villain laughter and Drakken's actual, normal laughter. It was less loud, for one thing. The villain laughter was all for show, so it had to be big and boisterous and intimidating, but his normal laughter went in peaks and valleys. Sometimes it was so small it almost went inaudible, sometimes it was even and rolling, like a bass line or something, and sometimes it was just a big burst of amused exclamation; it all changed according to how funny he found something and how out of breath he was. All in all, it was less annoying to listen to than what he usually was.

Drakken turned his eyes to Shego; there was a rather large difference, he found, between being laughed _at_ by Shego and laughing _with_ her. Sure, she still sounded much like she usually did, because she was still laughing the wicked laughter that one laughed when it was on someone else's expense, but now that it wasn't directed at him, it somehow sounded much less grating than usual.

Also, she didn't usually laugh this much at _him_; this was a wilder, happier laugh than the dry, annoying one she'd usually bug him with. After a while, she started sounding more pleased than malign, and he grinned widely, chuckling as she snorted, actually _snorted_; it was very seldom that Shego was ever silly, and it was like watching some rare attraction at the zoo when it happened.

Drakken found himself staring at her in wonder, her usually pale green face practically aglow from her laughing fit and probably a bit from the brandy. "I don't think I've ever seen you laugh like this before, you know."

She giggled briefly, giving a lopsided smirk. "Dr.D, usually your plans all involve me listening to rants about vows of revenge and endless techno-babble, but this time I had a blast! Really! I mean, jeez, I admit we were acting like a couple of brats, but seriously, when Kim Possible was just a floating head fighting a bunch of silly, screaming ninjas, I thought I was gonna die! For once, you know, I really had fun with you!" She told him, gesturing wildly as she smiled.

Drakken scowled a bit at her description of how she usually felt when they were working together, but decided to let it slide since she seemed to be in such a good mood. Besides, it wasn't as if Shego had ever kept it a secret whenever she'd been bored or annoyed with him during the preparation and execution of his schemes before.

"Usually your plans bring us to some cold, remote place or somewhere damp and crawling with bugs or, good grief, we end up covered in _cheese_, but this time it was the movies, it was dinner— and it was laughing uproariously at our worst enemy's expense! Hah!" She punched the air as if she was bopping someone hard on their chin, grinning wickedly. "Now _that's_ what I call a good day on the job, body odor or not! Am I right?"

Drakken just continued to stare at her. "I don't think I've ever seen you this enthusiastic about anything, either."

She shrugged. "There's just usually not that much to be enthusiastic about."

"Hey, now, that's not true, what about the time when—"

"It bombed."

"What? You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"No matter what you were going to say, it bombed. It always does." She leaned back leisurely, taking a sip of her brandy. "At least this time we got to have some fun. Even if Kimmie got away, she was humiliated first."

Drakken blinked at her, contemplating whether to object again, but only sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"It was a great plan this time, Doc." She raised her glass in a toast, grinning pleasantly. "To embarrassment?"

He hesitated briefly, but then had to grin back just a little. "To embarrassment," He echoed, their glasses connecting with a bright, clear 'clink'.

There was a stretch of comfortable silence as they sipped at their drinks.

"Let's watch it _again_!" Shego blurted suddenly, looking eager, and he had to laugh.

"Yes, let's!"

* * *

**TBC.**

**Author's note:** Just a bit of semi-fluff after all the drama in the first three chapters. Hope you liked it.** Self-esteem** is set after _Mother's Day_, and **Friendship** is set after _Blush_.

Sometimes, even Drakken and Shego have to get along. I was inspired by the famous 'laughing scene' in _Clothes Minded_. ;)

I've noticed that I might've put the episodes in the wrong order, but I think I was following the air date rather than the actual episode numbers. Oh, well, I don't think I'll change it, because the story works better this way.

Yes, Dr. Drakken is a secret alcoholic who stashes brandy all over his lair— no, he's not. He's just an adult and should be allowed to drink once in a while, especially when there's something to celebrate.

The whole watching-funny-clips-while-drinking-brandy thing was inspired by the first _Addams Family_ movie, in which Fester and Gomez do the same thing. Except they also had cigars, but I can't really picture Shego and Drakken with cigars…well, actually I _can,_ but…it didn't seem fitting.


	5. Under Construction

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Problem Solving**** or; The Old Married Couple**

* * *

"I'm telling you, Shego, she's not getting near this." Drakken grunted as he reached for the screw driver. 

"Right…" Shego said absently, not sounding very convinced.

"Hold this up so I can screw these two parts together, will you? You're the one with the brute strength…"Drakken prompted, pointing at the heavy objects in question.

"Gee, thanks." Shego mumbled as she did as instructed.

"No matter what I do, whether I buy or steal or invent new things, Kim Possible always breaks them." He began as he tightened the screws, shoving everything into the right place, and Shego could tell by the deep breath he took next that he wasn't quite through complaining yet. "Either she blows them up or uses her stupid little gadgets in a completely careless way— I swear, that girl doesn't even care _where _she's aiming—"

"Yeah, yeah, Doc, you said."

"Here, press down here, I need to get the welder…"

Shego raised a disbelieving eyebrow. "The _welder_? For _this_? I_ really_ don't think you need—"

Drakken scowled as he interrupted her; she'd been doing nothing but question his judgment since they'd started constructing this thing. "Well, I need to get it to hold together_ properly_, don't I?"

"You need to stop hunting mosquitoes with a bazooka, is what you need…" Shego said through gritted teeth, starting to feel annoyed. What was it with Drakken and his constant insistence on going to extremes even when a much easier solution had already presented itself?

"What?" He asked sharply; whenever Shego muttered something like that, it was usually about him.

"Nothing…!" She said innocently, giving a dismissive shrug.

Drakken peered at her suspiciously, but quickly decided to let it go in favour of some more ranting. "This time she won't ruin it again. Not this time. This time it's reinforced steel!"

Shego raised both her eyebrows at him this time, her mouth quirking as she didn't know whether to laugh or to get angry. How he could keep thinking everything would work out this time when it had never done so before was beyond her. "Hah! Reinforced-schmeinforced— the way _you've_ assembled it, it'll fall apart as soon as she looks at it."

Snapping for air in offence, he glared at her, his fingers clutching the screwdriver tightly. "Shego! Just— it'll turn out fine, okay? I'm just having, you know, a few…problems in the start! I'll get into it soon!"

"Yeah, except 'the start' has lasted for about two and half hours now." She replied, looking bored.

"You—Shego— nnngghhnn! Why don't you make a helpful suggestion instead, huh?" He challenged, chucking the screwdriver onto his worktop in frustration.

Shego sighed, wondering why she was still bothering to hold up the heavy steel parts for him. Of course, for_ her_ they weren't heavy, but it was the principle of the thing… "Okay, _here__'s_ a helpful suggestion for you…" She drawled sarcastically. "Like I told you _two and a half hours ago_, I still _really_ think you should, oh, I dunno…actually check the_ manual_?"

Drakken scoffed loudly. "The manual? I don't need the manual! It's a piece of cake!"

"If you say so." This time, the sigh was even more resigned.

Drakken pursed his lips in determination and went to work. "Now, see, this goes here and…see? It fits together perfectly."

"Amazing." Shego said flatly.

He grinned in triumph. "Right! And now, if I just put this here and so—"

"That's great, Dr. D. Except now it's up-side-down." She pointed out calmly.

Drakken began to look puzzled. "What? Are you sure? It looks so—"

"Trust me." Shego insisted in a stern, yet somehow still careless voice." It's up-side-down."

"Oh, doodles, why can't it just— argh!" Drakken exclaimed, throwing his arms up. "Okay, okay, I'll just— it _looked_ like it was supposed to be— oh, forget it, I'll just turn it around…"

"Okay, Chief, you're going to have to explain something to me here..." Shego said in a deliberately slow tone. "See, I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, so this kind of seems like a little bit of a paradox to me…"

"What?"Drakken asked, not sure what she was getting at.

"You've built super weapons, controlled people's brain waves, cloned people, built complex robots…" She listed, ticking off each item on the list with a finger.

"Yes?" Drakken frowned; why was she bringing that up now?

"…so how exactly is it that you're unable to do something as simple as assemble your new furniture from IKEA?" Shego continued, her hip tilted and expression curiously neutral.

"Shego!" He barked, finally losing his temper. "I told you, I don't know why it's all crooked and wobbly— there's got to be a screw loose or maybe a piece missing, there's always a piece missing with these IKEA things— but I'm going to figure it out!"

"Yeah, there's a screw loose, all right…" She muttered, not quite under her breath.

"Oh, that's very funny, Shego. Hilarious." He remarked, his foul mood turning even fouler with hardcore sarcasm. "In fact, I'm surprised you're not a big name in comedy yet."

"Well,_ I'm_ not surprised at all that you're not a carpenter." She retorted, smirking.

"Oh, just shut up and hand me the manual." He grumbled grudgingly.

"Good boy." She said with overdone brightness, grinning widely as she patted his head.

"Hmph!"

* * *

**Author's note:** Not really a real chapter, just a little interlude. This isn't supposed to be in any particular episode, it could just be set after whenever Kim destroys stuff in Drakken's lair, which is often. It was just a bit of pointless fun. I'd been assembling IKEA furniture all day in my new apartment, and my boyfriend's new office chair turned out to be missing four screws. ;o)

* * *


	6. FIVE

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Morality, Part II, or; Wouldn't It Be Nice If Everyone Was Nice?

* * *

**

"A fortress of ice."

"Nngh."

"Really. Not one of your brightest ideas."

"Mphh."

"I don't want to say I told you so, but— actually, I _do_," she smirked. "I _told _you so. For future reference— fortress of ice? Bad idea."

"Shego!"

"What?"

Drakken glared at her from the large chair next to hers, clutching angrily at the two or three blankets he'd wrapped around himself.

After they'd pulled each other out of the ice water, they'd crawled and walked with chattering teeth to their lair, and after they'd both taken about an hour's worth of hot showers, Shego had shown up as if by some silent consent in his study, where he'd been busy building a fire.

At first, she'd been quiet as they'd sat bundled up in their respective high-backed chairs, each sipping the hot beverage of their choice— tea for her, cocoa for him— as they simply watched the flames dancing in the fireplace, but when they'd started relaxing, their bodies finally completely defrosted, apparently she'd felt well enough to start up her usual mocking again.

"Why are you always so _negative_?" He demanded, putting aside his now empty mug of cocoa.

"I'll be positive when there's something to be positive about," she said, finishing up her tea. "Besides, I'm a villain— it kinda goes with the deal."

"No, it doesn't!"

That caught her completely off guard. "Huh?"

"Not necessarily!" He insisted. "I mean, what's the point of taking over the world if you're just going to be all mean and sarcastic and unenthusiastic all the time?"

"You know, you've got a little—" she began dryly, completely ignoring his statement, "Little thing, right there, yeah, right there," she said, pointing at her own upper lip.

"What?" He asked in perplexity, completely thrown off course as he touched his own lip. His fingers came away a little sticky.

"Cocoa moustache," she grinned overbearingly. He was so easily distracted.

"Oh, forget that," he snapped irritably, wiping at his mouth with a piece of Kleenex. "Now where was I—"

"Mean and sarcastic? Taking over the world?" She supplied helpfully, with a raised, skeptical eyebrow.

"Huh?" He blinked, before his jaw set. "Yes...yes, exactly! If you're going to take over the world, you should enjoy it! Show a little enthusiasm!"

"What if I _enjoy_ being mean and sarcastic?" She asked with mock-flirtatiousness and a coy smirk. "Besides, I'll show enthusiasm if we ever actually _do_ take over the world, and not a moment sooner. I don't like counting my chickens before they hatch, unlike _some_ people..."

"Oh, all alright, so we haven't taken over the world yet! Again!" He admitted grumpily. "But you could be more...more friendly! More, I dunno, _supportive_! After all, we're on the same side here, right?" He added, leaning over the arm rest of his chair and closer to her to look for some agreement.

He was only met with a blank look. "'Friendlier', not 'more friendly'."

"Good grief, you and your nitpicking!" He complained, leaning back again. "No one likes people who nitpick! You're such a grammar hound— what are you, a _teacher_ or something?"

"Yes, actually," she informed him casually. "I have a teaching permit."

"What?"

"Yep."

He gave her a bewildered look before clearing his throat sternly. "Okay, whatever— just stop it, all right? I'm not paying you for that."

"Pity," she muttered, "you could _use _some grammar lessons..."

"I _heard_ that!"

* * *

Later in the day, they were still going at it.

"Jeez, Dr, D, do we _really_ have to have that stupid Fourth of July barbeque with the henchmen?" Shego complained.

Drakken looked at her as if she'd suggested he'd eat his own foot because they were out of food and the grocery store was closed for the day. "Of course we do!"

"But you always use way too much lighting fluid, despite all my warnings. Last year the grill would've exploded and blown all our heads off if I hadn't stopped you," she reminded him. "And I won't even _mention_ the fireworks later in the evening. I mean— what _was_ that? A tiny nuclear _bomb_? I'm surprised more of our lair wasn't destroyed."

"And you always poke the henchmen with the barbeque spits if they take more than two seconds while you're waiting for your turn at the grill. Not to mention the fact that you got so annoyed when they started singing the Star-Spangled Banner that you plasma-blasted the big bowl of potato salad onto them," he retorted sardonically."They would've ended up with severe injuries if I hadn't stopped _you_. What's your point?"

She groaned. "Can't I at least get out of bowling this week? You're always such a sore loser. If, or should I say when, you don't win, you always rant for at least an hour afterwards. Last week you tore up all the result sheets and even docked the henchmen's salaries."

"Oh, and you're not?" He brushed her off. "When Lutz beat you at bowling two weeks ago, you actually threw one of your shoes at him. And then you drove a bowling ball through the floor."

"Who cares? I just don't wanna bowl tomorrow, okay?" Shego knew she was whining a bit now— and that was supposed to be his job— but she was getting tired after several hours of doing nothing but arguing with Drakken. Usually he was the one who folded first, but for some reason, he was in a remarkably resistant mood today. He just kept on nagging and nagging and nagging..."_You_ go socialize with the henchmen— it's not my job, you're the boss. I just wanna go and do my own thing for once."

"See? That's why you're the sidekick!" Drakken declared, and as he started pacing back and forth, Shego knew she was in for a good old-fashioned rant. "You just have _no feeling_ for these kinds of things! If you don't want to be betrayed when you're ruling the world, you have to create some sort of bond between you and your followers, between you and the people closest to you! Unless you want a drink spiked with arsenic or something!"

Shego moaned and slumped into a chair, deflating. What was _with_ him today? Had he had too much coffee again?

He shook his head, pacing on. "That's what I've been doing with you and my henchmen, I've tried to be personal, tried to be a little nice."

Shego gave him a withering look. "Okay, so tell me…the parts where you yell at the henchmen and kick them when they make mistakes and sometimes never pay them at all— that's supposed to achieve loyalty _how_ exactly?

Drakken sputtered a bit at that, before glaring. "Well, I just— they can be a handful sometimes, _okay_? But I do try! Why do you think I arrange company picnics, for instance? And I mean, I can't always pay you that well, but you stay, don't you? And you don't have any urges to _kill _me, do you?"

She opened her mouth, but he stopped her with a look. "_Don't_ answer that," he sighed. "And as for you, I pay you _a lot_ even when I'm broke, you know."

She shrugged. "Well, I do _a_ _lot_ of work."

"It's lonely at the top, Shego," Drakken went on, as if she hadn't even said anything, and she huffed in indignation._ Right, right, just ignore the sidekick, she never does anything. "_You wouldn't want to end up all alone surrounded by people who hate you, would you? You'd need people on your side when you're trying to rule the world." He shrugged. "You don't want to end up having to..."

He paused as he waved a hand uncertainly, trying to think of a worst case scenario, "...to put electrical collars or something on your supporters so you can zap them when they step out of line, do you? You need at least an inner circle of people who are loyal to you, you know, or anyone can just waltz in and knock you off."He added with an admonishing finger, which seemed to have none of the ominous effect he felt it should have had on her. She looked, at best, neutral, but more disinterested.

Frowning, he drew a breath and went on. "The world is a rather large place, Shego, and if you want to rule it, you need to be able to delegate. You can't be everywhere at once, you know."

Shego sighed inwardly as Drakken lectured her on the blatantly obvious. "Big place, delegate— gotcha."

"And you won't be able to delegate if everybody hates you. Then they'd just steal whatever country you sent them to from you, and eventually you'd be sitting alone on some island somewhere after they'd taken the world from y—" He halted, scowling at her. "You're not taking this very seriously, are you?"

When she just sat there, her tilted head and her gaze telling him he was being melodramatic and that he was just telling her things she already knew, he drew a deep breath in exasperation, exhaling it noisily. "I mean, really, Shego-- alone and paranoid? What kind of a life is that?"

She smirked a little. "You tell me, Dr. D."

He frowned at her, but instead of the offended yell she'd expected, his voice was serious when he spoke. "I'm not that paranoid. I don't think anyone's out to get me. I'm the one who's out to get _them_. And as for being alone...well, I have you, don't I?"

That made her a bit speechless. Unfortunately, he wasn't being rhetorical.

"Don't I?"

"I'm around," she said dismissively, unsettled by how direct he was being, and how she didn't even quite know exactly what he meant by that.

He sighed; that seemed to be the nicest thing she was capable of saying to him. "And I have my mother, at least. And my henchmen. I'm not some lunatic sitting alone in a dark, dank hole somewhere with a shotgun, that's all I'm saying."

She smirked at that, shaking her head. "I'll give you _that_ much, Doc."

* * *

It was almost night time, they'd moved to the living room, and they still wouldn't let up...

She'd made a careless comment of how it would never work to take over the world through subliminal messages in Shopping Channel commercials, and that set him off again...

"You could be more supportive, you know! Is it any wonder we always fail when you do nothing but criticize me?"

"Oh, so now it's all _my_ fault?"

"No, I— all I'm saying is that you could give me some constructive criticism!" Drakken exclaimed with expansive arm gestures, walking around, seemingly unable to sit still. "Something that might actually _help_ me!"

Shego shrugged as she read her magazine. "What the hell do_ I_ know about building super weapons and stuff?"

"A-ha!" Drakken spun around triumphantly, pointing a self-righteous finger at her. "So you _do_ admit I know something you don't!"

Shego peered critically at him over her magazine. "What are you, five?"

"Oh, fine!" He relented, a little embarrassed, letting out an explosive huff before he moved on to the next thing. "I just think you could say things like...oh, I don't know, 'how about we do it this way?' or 'maybe it would work if you did this' or...or anything, really!"

"I _did_ tell you to stop monologuing so your adversaries wouldn't have time to escape, didn't I?" She reminded him matter-of-factly.

He pouted. "I can't be a super villain and not monologue at least _a little_!"

"See! There you go! Maybe I don't say anything because you don't _listen_ to me, anyway!" She exclaimed. "I tell you a fortress of ice would be silly— you don't listen! I tell you that you shouldn't spend too much time gloating because you'll be distracted by it when you should be keeping an eye on your enemies— what do you do? You _don't listen_!"

"Maybe I'd listen if you'd be a little more polite!" He pointed out, oozing wounded pride. "Maybe you could try saying please and thank you or something!"

"This is how I talk! Get used to it! I'm not gonna tell you pretty please with sugar on top!" She sneered. "And what about you? When do you ever ask me politely when you're asking me for stuff? Do _you_ ever say please or thank you?" She tilted her chin up challengingly. "No, it's always 'SHEGO! Get the door!' or something," she scoffed. "I'm not the damn butler, you know."

"What? We don't even have a butl— nngh." He grunted in vexation as he realized he'd let himself get side-tracked. "Shego, how do you expect me to polite in those kinds of settings? Am I supposed to stand there, in front of the cheerleader and the buffoon or whoever and look all menacing, and then I have to go 'Shego, dear, would you please be so good as to start up the annihilation ray for me, pumpkin?'" He mocked in an exaggerated, sugary falsetto. "Not very intimidating, is it?"

Tossing her hair irritably, Shego hid her face behind her magazine when she answered. "You don't have to be that polite in _those_ kinds of situations, you could just be more polite when it's just the two of us, maybe some henchmen— that's it."

"It's not as if I'm asking you to do me any _favours_, I'm just asking you to do your job," Drakken replied, again sounding like he wasn't listening to her. He sometimes got like that if he became too far gone into his rants. She knew he'd snap out of it eventually; she might soon feel like snapping him it out of it _for_ him, though. "Should I really be expected to have to say _please_ for you to do your job? I mean, I _pay_ you, don't I?"

Lowering the magazine again, Shego simply gaped at him for a bit, completely disbelieving of how hypocritical he was being. What, as if he was the only one who deserved politeness just because he was the boss? "Yeah?" She said in a tight voice, her eyes narrowing. "Well, the thing is that if you want me to be all _polite_, you have to practice what you preach, Doc."

"Oh, forget it!" Drakken threw his hands up, defeated. She was always so impossible! "To tell the truth, I'd be happy if you even just changed your _tone_ a little! Don't worry, I'm never gonna expect miracles when it comes to _you_!"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" She asked coldly.

He grimaced, starting to pace again. "It's supposed to mean that you're completely frustrating, that's what!"

Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned back with an incredulous look. "And _you're_ not?"

"What was that thing you told me? I can be evil towards anyone else, but not to you?" He glowered at her, meeting her gaze. "How about returning the favour?"

"Oh, I'm _never_ evil towards _you_, Dr. D," she growled softly. "Trust me, you'd _know _it if I was being evil."

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" He narrowed his eyes, his voice going equally quiet.

"Maybe it is," she said, her voice going even dangerously lower.

He stared at her for a long while before sighing heavily, taking a small step back to show that he was relenting. "Just...it'd be nice if you were a little more respectful, that's all. It's not as if I'm expecting you to worship me or anything, all I want is a little common decency, just between us here! How are we supposed to work as a team if we can't get along?"

Her grin was lopsided and wobbled a bit, as if it couldn't quite make its mind up about its continued existence. "I get along fine, it's you who's complaining."

"Don't try to be funny!" He snapped. "I'm sick of you being rude and I'm sick of you threatening me with violence to get your way just because you can!"

She raised an eyebrow. "You want I should use a mind control device instead? Or how about cloning?"

His face fell; that had apparently struck a nerve. "I told you I was sorry for that."

"I still haven't forgotten, Dr. D."

"So you're trying to tell me that's why you do what you do?"

"It's why I don't feel bad about doing it, at least," she shrugged. "Besides, you do seem to have this special talent for making me lose my temper."

"I _said_ I was sorry," he repeated in a strained voice.

"Good for you," she replied, in what almost passed for a careless tone.

"And what about you?"

"I'm not gonna apologize for being me," she continued in the same nonchalant voice, but he could tell there was an undercurrent of anger, and it became more audible as she went on. "I don't do all the niceties. And you should appreciate me criticizing you— you obviously need somebody to keep your ego in check, Brainy. You need someone like me to weed out the most insane of your ideas!"

"Yes! That_ is_ what I want!" He blurted, feeling his patience snap. "Constructive criticism! I'm just asking you to be— be a little _nicer_ when you do it! And don't call me names!"

She just glared at him.

"Is that too much to ask?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

She crossed her arms over her chest, her jaw setting defiantly.

"Apparently so," he muttered as he realized she wasn't going to fold, and then he left the room.

Shego scowled after him. If there was one thing she hated, it was people telling her how to behave.

No matter how 'nice' they were.

And the fact that he didn't even see that _he_ wouldn't back down about being polite, either, and that he was trying to make her out as his bully made her blood boil. Was he blind? That was the trouble with working with villains; they didn't see past their own noses and they always thought of themselves first. He wasn't any better, he always just barked his orders at her, often treated her like nothing but his servant, arrogantly ignoring her words of warning, and he was always in such a _mood_—

On the other hand, he'd looked kind of…well, serious about it. Like it really mattered to him. Like he wasn't just whining.

"Aww!" Shego groaned to herself in defeat when she realized what she'd have to do.

* * *

**Shelter

* * *

**

The next morning, Shego went to talk to him. Not to apologize, really, never that. Just to...talk. Yeah.

Anyway, if he really wanted an apology, he had to give her one, too, and preferably first— as simple as that. He owed her one.

She found him in his lab.

Apparently, even megalomania and caffeine couldn't withstand the insistent demands of a body which, while it was oddly blue, was only human after all.

He'd fallen asleep again, half-empty coffee cups, a half-eaten donut and techno dealies lying scattered about him where he sat slumped over his large work top; Shego rolled her eyes when she saw that he was drooling onto its wooden surface in his sleep.

If there was one thing to be said about Dr. Drakken, it was that he was persistent. He'd obviously just worked and worked until his body had failed on him. It pretty much summed up who he was; he was good with bizarre plans and technology and science, but he often didn't have a very solid grasp of reality. Little things like the fact that a person needed to sleep sometimes and would in fact work better if they got some rest seemed to escape him.

Shego shook her head; no wonder he had those insane circles around his eyes.

The lair was cold this morning, she'd noticed, and when she was about to leave the room to fetch a sweater or something before she went to breakfast, she stopped in her tracks when she heard the doctor sneezing slightly in his sleep. Being soaked in icy water had left its mark, it seemed.

Before she knew it, she wasn't going to her room after all, but turning back to put a blanket from the old couch in the corner over Drakken's shoulders. He shifted slightly then and yawned softly, mumbling something unintelligible, which made her smile— and then she froze.

What was she even doing?

It wasn't as if she lived after a restrictive set of life rules that said that she could _only_ do _evil_ things or something—that was limiting, and Shego didn't like to be limited; she did whatever she wanted whenever she wanted— what she didn't like to do, however, was _sappy_ things.

And it was his own fault if he couldn't take care of himself.

Scoffing to herself, she dragged the blanket back off of his shoulders and tossed it back onto the couch. Served him right if he got sick.

Just as she was about to leave again, he sneezed once more, and sounded so pitiful that she turned on her heel, stomped over to the couch again and tossed the blanket haphazardly over him so he ended up looking like a plaid-patterned, woolen ghost. Pausing, she rearranged the blanket like it had been earlier, tucking it around his body.

She sighed irritably as he squirmed a little beneath the blanket before he started snoring with great abandon.

Well, so much for starting the day with a healthy dose of evil.

That snore was pretty evil, though. Evilly annoying, certainly.

For a second or two she contemplated whether to kick him awake so she wouldn't have to listen to it anymore, but decided to exit the room instead. If Dr. D. didn't get his sleep, she'd have to listen to him be cranky all day long instead, which was definitely much worse than the snoring.

* * *

**Food

* * *

**

His back ached as he stood preparing some food at the kitchen counter. He hadn't slept much that night, and the sleep he had gotten had been uncomfortable, as he'd unfortunately fallen asleep at his worktop. If it hadn't been for that blanket—

"Great! Lunch!"

Drakken turned around and saw Shego, looking uncharacteristically pleased as she approached the kitchen table and saw the juice, the pot of coffee and the fruit he'd already put there.

"Breakfast," he mumbled, still kind of tired.

"Lunch," she corrected him bluntly, pointing at the clock on the wall.

"Oh," he said flatly as he saw that it'd already gone past two o'clock. Somehow, he couldn't quite get himself to get annoyed at her comment this time.

Grabbing a glass, a cup and a plate from the kitchen cabinets and sitting down at the table, Shego started pouring herself a glass of juice. Drakken glanced at her briefly before returning to his cooking. It was obvious to him that it was Shego who'd put the blanket on him this morning--- because who else could it be? Certainly not his henchmen— and he sort of felt like thanking her, but he knew her well enough to know that he shouldn't bring up the fact that she'd done something like that, because she wouldn't appreciate it at all, like a normal person would; she'd only get embarrassed, annoyed, or worse— angry.

Still…

Glancing at her again as she finished off her juice, he decided to make her some food.

Walking up to the kitchen table with the plate, he was about to offer it to her when she leaned abruptly forward and stole a sandwich right off of his plate.

"Hey! What are you _doing_?" He protested, offended. Here he'd been intending to _give_ her the food, and she just—

"Oh, please— you had way too many sandwiches on there anyway, Dr. D," she grinned cheekily, poking his stomach. "You're gonna get fat."

His mouth open and shut as if he wanted to speak but couldn't, frowning at her uncertainly. Did she really not understand that all the sandwiches hadn't supposed to be for him, or was she just pretending? Was she deliberately trying not to let him be nice? It was so hard to tell, sometimes, with her.

"Hey, this is really good." She blinked in surprise as she took a bite of her sandwich. "Can I have some more?"

He glared at her for being so insolent that she asked him politely for more as if she hadn't just swiped some in the first place— but then his expression softened when he realized exactly that; for some reason, she was asking politely. He hadn't quite forgotten about yesterday, though.

"And what do we say?"

Her face and voice went deadpan. "You can't be serious."

"What do we_ say_, Shego?" He pressed.

"Give me a sandwich before I melt the kitchen?"

"Shego!"

"Okay, okay," she sighed in exasperation. "Can I have some food,_ please_?"

"Help yourself," he nodded, and she quickly snatched a couple of sandwiches over to her own plate.

There was silence as she poured herself a cup of coffee and began to eat, and he frowned slightly at her, biting his lip. She'd actually made the effort to be semi-polite, and he knew that some of the things she'd criticized him for the night before had been true even if he hadn't admitted to them. He'd just been so offended about her reluctance to compromise that he hadn't even noticed his own.

A few lonely hours up in the lab that night had given him plenty of time to think, however. He'd actually been quite shocked and even a little ashamed when he'd realized it. It was no wonder she'd refused to apologize, really.

"Shego? Um...sorry about last night," he started tentatively. "I mean, it's not just you, is it? I could probably stand to...you know, stop shouting at you all the time and stuff, and maybe start listening to your suggestions more often."

Her eyebrows rose at him over the brim of her coffee cup. "Yeah?"

"Uh...yes. Sorry."

She nodded, putting her cup down before she took another bite of her sandwich. "The mustard was a good idea," she said, and somehow it sounded like an apology. "And the Italian ham and the lettuce and the tomatoes...and everything else, really. It's a tasty combination."

"Cooking's only chemistry, after all," He shrugged, as a response to her compliment.

She halted, staring wide-eyed at him. "This stuff isn't going to mutate me or turn into a living being that'll burst out of my stomach around this time tomorrow, is it?"

He rolled his eyes, sighing theatrically. "What do you _take _me for, Shego?"

She smirked maliciously. "Oh, _you_ I'd take for _free_, Dr. D!" She joked, with exaggerated cheerfulness and a dismissive flick of her wrist.

He turned some weird shades of red and purple then, loudly clearing his throat. "Not funny!"

She shrugged as she rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee. "I thought it was."

"I don't appreciate your gutter brain, Shego."

"Funny," she chuckled, "I appreciate it all the time."

"Nhghnn!"

Of course, Drakken and Shego's new attempts at politeness ended the very next week, when Drakken thought it'd be a good idea to buy some land on the island of Lo'ihi for their new lair. The only problem was that the island turned out to be presently three thousand feet underwater and not expected to be above sea level for about ten thousand years.

Naturally, Shego didn't quite agree with this purchase...and after Drakken decided to give her and the henchmen massive pay-cuts to be able to afford to build an underwater lair instead of a normal one, she showed Drakken _exactly_ how much she didn't agree.

After he'd climbed down from the top of the bookshelf again and had had his various, small burns treated, Drakken didn't much feel like being polite, and neither did Shego.

_TBC.

* * *

_

**Author's note:** What, you didn't think everything was resolved now, did you? :D

**EDIT (24.07.2009):** Did a small rewrite, adding this, and also editing Drakken's dialogue accordingly: _Shego gave him a withering look. "Okay, so tell me…the parts where you yell at the henchmen and kick them when they make mistakes and sometimes never pay them at all— that's supposed to achieve loyalty __**how **__exactly?_

It must've slipped my mind how Drakken often treats/treated his henchmen— something Shego would've definitely brought up in this discussion.

**I also added this:** _Anyway, if he really wanted an apology, he had to give her one, too, and preferably first— as simple as that. He owed her one._

**Shelter** was actually the very first thing I wrote when I started this story. How did it end up all the way in chapter five? Yeesh.

Everything in this chapter is set directly after **The Truth Hurts**. I wrote this because Shego sounded even more sarcastic than usual, Drakken even angrier...and basically because I just needed an episode to attach these issues to, heheh.

I thought about doing a dramatic saving-each-other-from-the-ice-water scene, but Blackfire18's already done that so much better than I would have.

The island of Lo'ihi was the first thing that popped up when I searched for land scams.

* * *


	7. SIX

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Security of Resources**

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" Shego asked as she stood up, dusting off her outfit. As far as she could tell, they were in the middle of nowhere, nothing to see but telephone poles and the open road. 

"Look," Drakken grunted as he got to his feet, wincing at a crick in his lower back, "the device was so unstable that you should be grateful that I even managed to get us out at all. I don't think you quite appreciate the fact that under the circumstances, that was quite a feat I pulled. We could've been trapped there in that horrible TV dimension forever." He went on, shuddering.

"Yeah," Shego grimaced, thinking of the horrible little sock puppets who'd pestered them. "Too bad for Mr. Sit-Down that felt is a flammable fabric, huh?" She added, grinning maliciously.

Drakken shuddered again, shaking himself as if to get rid of the memory. "Don't _ever _mention that name again."

Shego chuckled wickedly. "Well, at least you got a nice outfit out of it all, Doc."

"Very funny." He said, sending her a flat look that very bluntly told her that he found absolutely no humor in that fact. "Let's just see if we can hitch a ride, okay?"

Nodding, Shego joined him in scouting for cars.

Five minutes went by without a single vehicle passing them, and Shego was already getting bored.

Smirking suddenly as she got an idea, she leaned imperceptibly closer to Drakken's shoulder, casting him a furtive glance. As he was still occupied by gazing hopefully at the road, he didn't seem to notice what she was doing.

Shego leaned even closer, holding her breath. Then she whispered into his ear.

"Mr. Sit-Down."

The reaction was loud and immediate and, on the whole, rather satisfied her mischievous urges.

"AAAAAARRRGH!"

* * *

An hour or two later, after much bickering, they managed to hitch a ride from a guy in pink Desoto, who thought that he was simply stopping to pick up a hot babe. A hot babe with a friend who was apparently some kind of homosexual circus artist, yes, but still— a hot babe was a hot babe. 

"Man, you're gorgeous," He said, leering at the raven-haired beauty. "Did you fall from the sky or something?"

The woman gave him a smile that was just chilly enough to make him slightly uncomfortable. "Actually, yes I did!" She told him sweetly.

"Huh?" He asked intelligently, thrown by her answer, and that was the last thing he uttered to the mysterious strangers before everything went black.

And so, as easy as that, they'd acquired a new car. Drakken toyed with the idea of stealing the guy's clothes as well so he could ditch his silly outfit, but they'd looked at least a size too small, and not entirely sanitary besides.

There had to be something like karma after all, though, Drakken figured, because after they'd robbed the guy of his car, they experienced an extra stroke of bad luck that day.

After only about half an hour, the car broke down.

"Why couldn't one of your super powers have been _flying_ or something?" Drakken asked grumpily as he rummaged around in the engine.

"Why aren't you a more competent mechanic?" Shego shot back immediately.

Drakken only glared at her. "This has nothing to do with my skills as a mechanic," he barked, slamming the hood of the car shut. "If you'd hitched us a ride with a better vehicle, we wouldn't be having this problem! I mean, look at it, it's ancient!"

Pursing her lips in irritation, Shego glanced reluctantly at the busted-up, pink '57 Desoto; it was so typical that as the woman, she'd been forced to play the role of the hitchhiking bait. "It was the best I could do under the circumstances!" She barked back, her eyes narrowing. "We're in the middle of nowhere! Now fix it!"

"You can't expect me to get this heap of rust up and running again!" Drakken objected, trying to make her see his predicament. "I have no tools and we're almost out of gas as it is! I'm a scientist, not a magician!"

She tossed her hair, aiming to annoy him. "Bet your cousin coulda fixed it."

He made a guttural, irritated grunt at that. "Oh, please! Eddie is just as dependant on good tools as any other mechanic, probably even more!"

She crossed her hands over her chest, assuming a classic impatient stance. "So, anyway…what you're basically saying now is that you can't do anything _at all_ about this, right?"

His eye twitched in offence, but he said nothing. Instead, he took a step back, forming his hand into the likeness of a gun, pointing the 'barrel' at the car and mimicking a trigger being pulled. "Bang. This car is completely done for."

Rolling her eyes, she sighed. "Great."

* * *

Another hour went by before a car finally pulled over again, during which time Shego was sure she was starting to get sunburn. Not to mention she was downright _toasting_ in her clammy outfit. 

Sighing, Shego pulled herself up and sauntered over to the car, but to her surprise, before she'd even reached it, the driver, a young man in a tight, purple T-shirt, heavy make-up, a short, blonde wig and several piercings, leaned out of the window, shaking his head at her.

"Not you, honey, we wanna talk to the hunk over there!"He called, winking at her.

Shego blinked at them, noticing that there were at least two other people in the car, who were far more flamboyantly dressed than the first one. She turned, sending Drakken a confused look.

Drakken gave the driver a flabbergasted glance, pointing at himself uncertainly. "What? _Me_?"

"Yeah, you!" Another person called out from the backseat of the car, and there was a chorus of chuckles.

Shrugging, Drakken cast Shego a glance before walking over to the car while Shego stood and waited.

There were some hushed negotiations, then, and they went on for a while. She thought she heard Drakken stuttering something occasionally, but she couldn't quite make it out.

Suddenly the car sped off, and one of the passengers, who was wearing a rather large, pink wig, leaned out of the window, laughing. "It's _your_ loss, cutie!"

Drakken looked slightly stunned as he walked back to Shego, who gaped at him with disbelief.

"What are you _doing_, you moron?" She growled, grabbing him by his cape and shaking him a little. "That was our _ride_!"

He gave her a dry, yet slightly affronted look. "I declined because they wanted me to, and I quote: 'Ditch the fag hag in the tacky, green cat suit'." He said in a blunt, matter-of-fact kind of tone, wrinkling his nose.

Colour rose to Shego's usually pale cheeks as she let go of his tasteless, bright pink cape. "WHAT?" She yelled in outrage. "_Tacky_? _Fag hag_?" She spluttered, barely containing her anger.

"And although they were using many confusing expressions, I also got the impression they wanted me to return the favour by doing _them_ some favours that I _really_ was not prepared to do." He went on, grimacing.

"Gah. Thanks for the mental imagery."

"Believe me, it's worse for me."

* * *

**Friendship, Part II**

* * *

They were forced to spend the night sleeping in the car. The only good thing about the Desoto was that it was plenty roomy— not that Drakken got more than maybe half an hour or so of sleep that night. 

"Good grief! You have a snore like the engine of a Boeing 747, woman!" He accused the very second Shego woke up that morning, startling her.

Shego scowled deeply at her boss; that had _not _been a pleasant thing to be met with first thing in the morning, especially not when you'd slept in an uncomfortable car seat all night. "Oh yeah? Then you obviously haven't heard _yourself_ snore!"

"Oh yeah?" Drakken shot back, futilely wishing for a cup of hot coffee. "I really doubt it's_ that_ bad— _you_ certainly look like you've had a decent night's sleep!"

She scoffed and tossed her hair, turning her face away peevishly.

There was a long stretch of silence as they idly gazed at the open, deserted strip of road, waiting for cars to show up. Except for a lonely tumbleweed, nothing rolled by.

When about twenty minutes of conversation-less time had expired, Shego cleared her throat. "I slept in the same room with two of my four brothers when I was young. I'm used to snoring." She told him.

Drakken gave her a surprised, sideways glance. "Oh."

"Only child?" Shego asked, studying her nails as she idly flexed her fingers.

He nodded reluctantly. "Only child."

"Hmm." She shrugged and looked out the window. She'd always figured he was an only child, what with how his mother treated him; it also answered a lot of other questions. It felt odd, really, sharing personal information like this, but suddenly she got the urge to continue the conversation. "Ever get lonely?" She asked softly, still looking out the window.

Drakken squirmed uncomfortably in his seat, trying not to think about the friends that he'd never seemed to be able to make. "Sometimes," he told her awkwardly, as if he had to drag the word out of himself.

"I got lonely sometimes, too, you know." She admitted eventually.

"You?" He frowned. "With all those brothers around?"

She shrugged. "Well, siblings really aren't quite the same as friends, and I was the only girl, too, so…yeah."

"Mm," he mumbled, nodding, and she wasn't quite sure if he was just signaling that he was listening or if he actually understood her.

* * *

They managed to hitch a ride with a nice, shiny sports car later that day, promptly throwing the driver— some rich kid obviously out joyriding with his daddy's car— out and leaving him with the Desoto. 

Drakken also decided to liberate the young man from his clothes, so he could change out of the awful outfit he'd acquired from the _Evil Eye__ for the Bad Guy_ hosts.

Kicking off the pale salmon-colored boots, peeling off the matching gloves and throwing off his cape, Drakken suddenly heard a muted gasp from behind him, where Shego was holding the young man captive. Pausing with the weird armor-looking vest pulled almost all the way off of his torso, he turned to look at her quizzically.

"Don't change _here_! Not right in _front_ of me! D-Don't— aww!" She exclaimed, backing away, finally shielding her eyes with her arm while still holding their prisoner with the other. "Get dressed again!"

Drakken gaped at her for a second or two before his mouth snapped shut. He'd been so eager to lose the awful ensemble that he hadn't even noticed her looking. "That's what I'm _trying _to do here!" He retorted in a huff. "What did you think I was going to do, wait until I found a nice powder room with porcelain sinks and golden faucets? Why are you even looking over here in the first place? Just turn your back, woman!"

Heat blasted on fully in Shego's face as she realized that this was of course exactly what she should've done. Turned her back. Like any _reasonably intelligent person_ would have done. What was _wrong_ with her?

Shoving the young man halfway onto the hood of the Desoto and giving him a stern 'don't you dare move' kind of look, Shego whipped around with stiff, mechanical movements, her eyes wide and her back firmly turned towards her boss.

The driver was a rather underweight, soft-looking young man, and next to him, Drakken had looked particularly..._good_. Shego had a feeling he would've looked good even without the comparison, though.

It was strange, because when he'd been wearing the outfit, as revealing as it had been, it hadn't looked attractive, just completely ridiculous. Now, however, when he'd only been wearing those green underpants thingies, and there had been so much naked skin—

Shego had always imagined— not that she'd actually devoted any time to thinking about it— that if she should ever happen to catch a glimpse of the Doc semi-nude or nude since she actually lived with the guy on a regular basis, she'd feel like she'd just accidentally walked in on her father or one of her brothers, but to her great shock, that wasn't how she felt at all.

He was just a man. Any man. Any tall, broad-shouldered, surprisingly-fit-despite-too-little-sleep-and-too-much-pastry-and-coffee kind of man. She'd known he worked out occasionally, since they did have a small gym and he sometimes said he was going there, but she'd never thought— it wasn't as if he had a six pack or anything, but his stomach was nicely flat and firm-looking—

"Ugh, hip hop clothes," Drakken grunted with disgust behind her as he put on the young man's clean but very baggy clothing.

Despite herself, Shego chuckled under her breath. She didn't quite know if she laughed at the Doc's terminal un-hipness or because she'd been stupid— or both.

They left the unfortunate driver in a highly questionable outfit that was at least a size or two too big for him, and a broken-down, old, pink Desoto. They heard him whimper before they drove away, and they laughed. That had apparently not been in his plans for the day.

Five hours later, the drag queens from the day before came by again, and he couldn't believe his luck when somebody actually pulled over. When they made a rather racy suggestion, however, he didn't quite know _what_ to believe or not to believe.

When Drakken and Shego stopped at a diner on the way to one of their secret lairs, and they got themselves a cup of coffee and something to eat, they began to feel more like themselves again, and there was no more sharing of personal information that day.

They bickered all the rest of the way home, mainly about whose fault it was this time and who got to drive.

* * *

**Intimacy**

* * *

About a second or two before she did it, he realized that she was in fact intending to kiss him, and it shocked the hell out of him. He only had time to gasp before he was knocked on his back in the narrow space they were in, hitting his head on the photo booth's wall. 

Even though she'd been unusually…_friendly_ that day, and he'd certainly been getting increasingly nervous, he'd never expected her to actually go and _kiss_ him, of all things!

His head pounding, the stinging on the back of it telling him he was going to have a fair-sized bump there, Drakken's cries of objection were muffled by her lips and swallowed up by her willing mouth, her kisses hard, unrelenting and eager as she practically hummed with happiness.

Her mind was ablaze with a tangled mess of _lovelovekisslovewarmlovecloseloveholdlovelovecloserkisslovelovelove_, and she felt detached, fuzzy, as if in some bizarre dream, yet her body was alive with everything thing she did, every last sensation; her body wasn't numb, only her mind. Some tiny part of her asked what the hell she was doing, but it was quickly shushed down.

It was like having a frenzied fever, only she wasn't exhausted or dizzy, she was in fact chock full of energy, and all of that energy was being directed towards the wonderfully cute, blue man beneath her. _How could I__ never have n__oticed just how delicious he is__ before? _She wondered as she savored the taste of his warm, moist lips; they felt a little stiff as he appeared to be resisting her for some reason, but she didn't let that bother her.

He was just shy. He'd come around.

Pushing at her arms, Drakken desperately tried to pry her off of himself, but it was no easy matter. Unlike her, he didn't have super strength on his side. Just as he began to despair, badly in need of oxygen and freedom, she suddenly let go of his lips.

Relieved, he gulped down generous amounts of air, vaguely resembling a gaping, stranded fish, and he was about to try to get up again when Shego suddenly leaned down and started dotting the side of his neck with soft, exploring kisses.

He tensed up then, his body tingling; what with how brutally she'd handled him so far, he hadn't been quite prepared for the sudden change in gears. Trembling, he bit his lip, his eyes wide as the sensations flooded his body. He'd always had a far too sensitive neck, he knew.

As with the neck rub she'd given him that morning, his body sagged briefly, giving into it for just a moment. He could barely even _remember_ what it had felt like the last time he'd been kissed like that by a woman, and he was only human, after all.

The moment of weakness only lasted a few seconds, however, as she suddenly began working her fingers under the folds of his lab coat; he yelped when her fingertips met with the sensitive skin of his stomach, scrambling backwards before snatching her wrist away from himself, a frozen, panicked grin on his face as he tried to appease her.

"Shego! I…I d-don't think we should— this is neither the time nor the place for—"he babbled, his heart thudding painfully.

She pouted. "Why not? We're the bad guys, we can do _whatever_ we _want_…" She added, a seductive tone creeping into her voice.

Drakken gulped audibly; he'd never thought she'd go this far, never— there _had_ to be something wrong with her, somebody must've put something in her drink or put a mind control device on her—

This was _NOT_ Shego.

As she turned a positively smoldering, predatory gaze on him, purring his name, he cringed and flattened his back against the photo booth wall, trying helplessly to get away from her. Just as she sunk her fingers into his hair, starting to tug on the belt of his lab coat, inspiration struck.

"Sh-shego! Wait!" He exclaimed, grabbing her wrist to stop her.

Shego looked up at him with impatient eyes, and she was pouting again. "What is it, Dr. D?"

"I just— I want to take you to dinner!" He declared, hoping she'd fall for it.

An uncertain look flickered through her passionate eyes, but then she suddenly smiled. "Really? How romantic!"

Standing up, she pulled him to his feet with her. "Come on, Doc, I didn't realize your little tummy was empty," she cooed sweetly at him, poking his stomach. "Let's go!"

"Yes…let's," Drakken let out a relieved puff of breath as she pulled him out of the photo booth, snatching up their picture strip on the way.

He waved and grinned sheepishly to another couple who was standing outside and glaring at himself and Shego impatiently as they waited their turn. Shego didn't even notice them.

"We'll continue this later, cutie," She purred into his ear, linking her arm with his as they walked away.

Drakken gulped.

He'd only postponed his problems; he hadn't actually managed to solve them yet.

* * *

Drakken made it back to the lair, barely, but she was hot on his tail, and as soon as he threw himself inside the door, she was right behind him, kicking the door open violently before he'd had time to close it more than halfway. 

He yelped in fear and sprinted across the floor of the vast hallway, but she was quicker than him, and the air was knocked forcefully out of him as he was tackled to the ground. He heard her growl angrily as she flipped him over, trapping him beneath her.

Dread shot through his mind as her hands lit up and she leaned down towards him, a menacing sneer on her lips.

_Thinkthinkthink_, his brain chanted mercilessly at him, forcing him into action; he knew now that she had Bortel's Moodulator on her, so what he needed to do was to get it off, but where was it, where, where, _where_—

Shego roared with insult as the puny, insolent blue man actually started _pawing_ at her— didn't he know he would _die _for it? Her hands spat green flame as she set her jaw, reaching down to break the wrists of the hands that were impudent enough to touch her—

Pure rage blasted through her body, flaring up inside her like a furnace, her thoughts a noisy chaos of hatehateangerhatekillmaimhatehatehurtwoundhatehate—

Drakken saw her reach for him and got desperate, grabbing her and clutching her to him in an attempt to keep her immobile, her burning palms slapping down flat on the floor on each side of him instead of hurting him, as he frantically fumbled for the Moodulator chip on her back and shoulder, trying hard to ignore her enraged screams or the way she was trying to bite his ear off. He knew that the only reason he'd been able to stop her at all was because she was currently irrational and because he'd had the element of surprise on his side, and he was aware that he only had a few seconds to work with.

When his fingers finally closed around the chip, on the back of her neck, he'd never felt such relief. Peeling the chip off of her skin, he exhaled heavily when he felt her body freeze up and then turn limp on top of him, and he could finally let go of her because she probably wasn't going to try killing him again.

Groaning, Shego lifted her head and saw him lying prone beneath her, an apprehensive look in his eyes. She blinked down at him, disoriented. "What? What just happened…?"

Wordlessly, he held up a small object in front of her; her eyes went large as things fell into place in her mind. "Augh! I _hate_ this behaviour modification crap!"

He immediately held his arms protectively in front of his face. "I'm not responsible for it this time, I swear!"

She rolled off of him, scrambling to her feet, too confused to be properly angry yet, swaying slightly unsteadily on her feet. "Why should I believe you?" She demanded, her voice curiously shaky.

"It was an accident! You got one of Bortel's Moodulator chips on you! Why on Earth would I make a device that left you a completely uncontrollable emotional wreck?" He blurted desperately, hurrying to his feet as well. "Does that sound like a _fun experience_ for me?"

"And do you think it was _fun_ for _me_—"She spat, but froze then as she noticed something, staring at him. "Is that…is that _my lipstick_?" She asked incredulously, stepping towards him to get a closer look, her heart sinking as she saw an unmistakably _lip-shaped_ mark on the side of his neck.

"Uh…" He hesitated, touching the spot self-consciously; he'd thought he'd gotten it all off.

_Her_ dark lipstick. _Her_ lips. Good grief, she really _had_— hadn't she?

"I _didn't.._.?" She said flatly, staring at him.

He seemed to brighten just slightly at that. "You don't remember?"

Her thoughts were going a mile a minute, her memory overwhelming her as she was bombarded by image after unsettling image. "Uh…no," she said finally, lying through her teeth.

"Really?" His tone turned just a little disbelieving.

"No," she mumbled absently, a vacant look in her eyes as she turned to go to her room. "I don't remember anything…"

Drakken frowned in concern after her as she left. He didn't quite know how he'd expected her to react to everything, but that was certainly not it.

This did not look good.

Not at all.

* * *

**Food, Part II**

* * *

Shego trembled as she lay face down on her bed, trying not to scream in defiant rage. Her nails clawed at the sheets, and her teeth gritted as she held her frustrated tears at bay. How could this have _happened_ to her? And with_ him_? 

"Ugh!"

Why did it have to be _him_? Why did it have to be her blue, geeky spaz of a boss? Whom she'd known for years and whom had never seen her that way and whom she'd never seen that way either? Whom she would have to deal with on a daily basis, whom she'd be forced to still be working closely with? Why couldn't it have been one of the henchmen or somebody else conveniently anonymous— except that _somebody else_ might've taken advantage of her offer in the photo booth—

"Uuugghh!"

Why did she have to— why did she even go as far as to actually try to— and with _him_! And how would he act around her from now on? Would he be looking at her funny? Would he think less of her? Would he still be scared of her?

"Damn piece of Moodulator— ugh!"

Being in love like that had felt scary, consuming— sure, she'd been madly attracted to guys, she'd had crushes and she'd been infatuated, but she was usually on the receiving end when it came to affection, and couldn't remember ever being really, truly in love. She honestly hoped it wasn't anything even _remotely _resembling what she'd felt the other day.

All the movies, all the magazines and all the TV shows told her that being in love was supposed to be wonderful, but_ that_ had been horrifying. She'd had no control whatsoever, she'd ceased to be an individual and she'd just wanted, _wanted_, needed, _needed_ another person, wanted and needed _him_—

And the rage! Usually, she delighted in her anger, but sometimes it went too far, and she lost control completely, and it was almost frightening how overwhelming it was and how little ability for rational thought she possessed when it happened.

And what she'd experienced that day had been exactly like that…only about ten times worse.

And the sadness! The crying! She_ never_ cried! Never! And now not only Dr. D had seen her break down emotionally, but she'd actually been walking around crying her eyes out in _public_---

Shego was startled when there was a tentative knock on the door. Holding her breath, she turned her eyes to the door, waiting for something to happen.

Somebody cleared their throat on the other side, and she instantly recognized it as Drakken's voice. Then again, who else could it be?

"Um…Sh-shego?" Drakken called out uncertainly, wringing his hands nervously.

No answer.

Swallowing, he made another attempt. "Uh…I just thought…maybe you were hungry?"

Silence.

"Because I've made you some dinner." He told her reluctantly, cringing even as he said the words; he was sure it'd been a stupid idea, but he hadn't known what else to do.

There was only quiet again, and he was about to try one last time before giving up, when she suddenly answered.

"What do _you _care?" She demanded, and her voice was hoarse and harsh.

He hesitated. "If you'd believe it, I guess…I guess I just wanted to make you feel better…?" He still remembered his own encounter with a behavioral chip, and it really hadn't been pleasant. Besides, he had to end this new awkwardness somehow. It had quickly become apparent to him by how she'd acted during the last couple of days that she'd lied about not remembering the events during the Moodulator incident.

He'd barely even seen her at all; when she hadn't been locked up in her room, she'd snuck out of the lair when he wasn't looking.

There was another long stretch of silence, and he was contemplating whether or not to just leave her alone when the door suddenly creaked open and she stepped out slowly, scowling at him as if defying him to comment on her odd behavior.

Drakken couldn't help staring at her when she finally came out of hiding. The expression on her face was introvert, frustrated and suspicious, she looked a little red around the eyes and a little flushed, her hair was somewhat ruffled, and instead of her usual cat suit, she was wearing jeans and a black turtleneck sweater, and she looked even more alien to him because of it.

When he just stood there, gaping at her as if she had antlers growing out of her forehead, she pursed her lips angrily, taking a step forward. She didn't particularly _want_ to be around Drakken right then, but she'd already been avoiding him for a day or two, and she knew she had to face him sooner or later. Besides, for the last fifteen minutes or so, she'd been able to smell something cooking, and when he'd come to ask her if she was hungry, she'd realized that she actually was.

"Hello? Earth to Drakken? You said something about _food_?" She prompted impatiently, jutting out her hip.

"Oh. Right…" Drakken mumbled, turning on his heel. "Come this way…"

* * *

Shego breathed a mental sigh of relief when she caught sight of the kitchen table. 

Good. No wax candles, no dimmed lights, no wine, no super fancy dinner.

There was only some home made lasagna and some salad under the bright, yellowish light of the kitchen lamp, and the beverage of choice seemed to be water, in fact.

There was nothing romantic about it whatsoever. Not that she'd really expected it to be, but he'd never really offered to make dinner for her like this before, and you never knew, and with everything that'd happened…

Furthermore, she noticed then that the table was only set for one.

To her mild surprise, Drakken picked up his plate from the kitchen counter, hurrying towards the door. "Don't worry, I'll just take my food to the lab, get out of your hair—"

"Don't be _stupid_!" She blurted, and he skidded to a halt, sending her a bewildered glance over his shoulder. "No, just...you can stay. After all, you _made_ the damn dinner." She added, feeling like she needed to be clearer. "And we don't want you getting tomato sauce all over your super weapon blue prints or anything, do we?"She shook her head, looking away.

He hovered undecidedly at the door, plate in hand. "Um, I don't know if that's such a good—"

"Shut up and sit down," she snapped in a tight, quiet voice. If the idiot was going to be all weird forever, walking on eggshells around her, how did he expect things to ever return to normal?

"O-okay," he stuttered, darting past her to sit across from her at the table.

There was a slightly strained silence as they ate.

Finally, Shego looked up when she was done with her meal. "So, any dessert?" She demanded somewhat briskly, as if he hadn't just gone to the trouble of making her dinner.

His mouth twitched as he suppressed a smile. At least she still had her appetite, so it couldn't be _too_ bad.

"No, but I guess I could make something," he offered, shrugging.

"As long as it's not 'PB stickies', I'll eat anything."She replied dryly.

Grinning lopsidedly, he got up, collecting their empty plates to put in the sink. "I'll see what I can whip up."

Shego rolled her eyes behind his back; he had that look on his face that he usually got when she knew he was going to go overboard on a project. He'd looked as if he might even unnecessarily bring one of his own inventions into something as simple as the process of making dessert. They'd probably end up with the world's largest brownie or something, if he got free reins.

Drakken spun around, his grin bigger yet this time. "Shego, how do you feel about chocolate?"

She sent him an apprehensive and deeply skeptical look, eyebrows lifted and all; he didn't seem to take the hint. "Drakken, I can live without dessert, you really don't have to—"

"To the lab, Shego!" Drakken announced dramatically.

They spent the rest of the evening cleaning chocolate off of the laboratory walls.

If anything was to be said about Drakken's unpredictable bursts of manic inspiration, Shego thought, it was that they were at least good for avoiding uncomfortable silences.

The next morning, Shego found the strip of photo booth pictures in the pocket of her cat suit. Scoffing, she ripped them to pieces, particularly drawing satisfaction from shredding the picture where she was giving Drakken a very enthusiastic introduction to Kissy Face 101. It was _not_ something she wanted to be reminded of _ever _again.

Somehow, though, one of the three other pictures found its way to the back of her dresser drawer, carefully wrapped in a sock that she only had one of and therefore never used.

* * *

**Morality, Part III**

* * *

"So I guess you're disappointed now that you've got the 'playground bully' as your boss again, huh?" Drakken snarled as he kicked resentfully at a chunk of crumbling mortar from his destroyed lair. 

Shego frowned at his question. After everything, it felt like she had been part of some cheesy after school special, and that today's lesson had been 'You Don't Know What You've Got Until It's Gone', but the fact still remained that she was happy to get rid of the disturbing creature that had been Stoppable-Gone-Bad. And she was happy to get the old Drakken back.

She still wasn't sure what had frightened her more— the cheerleader's clumsy sidekick turning out to be the most ruthless, uncaring boss she'd ever had, or Drakken turning into someone who was all fresh-faced and pink, cookie-baking, extremely cheerful, and who scolded her for even thinking about doing something evil.

She didn't know that person. It hadn't been her Dr. D, it hadn't been the Drakken she knew, and it had been all too easy to ditch him when she'd found someone who'd reminded her more of the Drakken she was used to, the one who was evil and who liked nothing better than to come up with his wacky take-over-the-world schemes— but of course she'd quickly found out that he'd been nothing like Drakken except for the blue skin and the villain laugh, but by then it'd been too late, and by then she could do nothing but regret it.

"Actually, you know what?" She shook her head, biting her lip. "You probably shouldn't worry about that."

He hesitated; he'd expected a sarcastic, mocking comeback. "What?"

When she answered, her reply was slow and a little reluctant, as if she was thinking about what she wanted to answer even as she spoke, and she wasn't looking at him, she was looking contemplatively out across the rubble of their lair. "Because I think…I think that in some ways, there just might be such a thing as being too evil."

He walked up to her, getting a little intrigued despite himself. "What do you mean?"

"Even if the brat had a ridiculous agenda— I mean, taking over the world supply of _nacos_? What the hell was _that_ about?" She ranted, unconsummated anger tainting her words; she'd give her right arm to give that little snot-nosed blue punk a taste of why he shouldn't have messed with her, but unfortunately, that person didn't exist anymore, just some lame, freckled kid who tagged along after their nemesis. And so she was left with nothing but frustration. Deflating, her voice went softer. "Even if that was his plan, I dunno, he was just…too selfish even for an evil villain. I mean, if I'm 'lippy' as you call it, you yell at me, right?"

"Yes?" Drakken leaned slightly forward, wondering what she was getting at.

"Well, he was gonna let the sharks eat me instead." Shego shrugged, though it was clear to him that she wasn't as unaffected as she wanted to appear.

He went a paler shade of blue. "He was…you…he...?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"That brat!" He declared hotly, simply to have something to say, unable to think of anything else to describe the blatant injustice with, the fires of righteous indignation burning in his soul. No one was allowed to do that to him or his friends or family, least of all some _kid_--- one of these days they'd have to drop _him_ down the shark pit—

Shego looked at Drakken, and realized the look he was giving her back was almost protective in its nature; he was furious on her behalf.

The unspoken words between them were almost tangible in the demolished lair.

_I would never do that. _His eyes told her.

_I know you wouldn't. _Her little nod replied.

Drakken swallowed, feeling somewhat nauseous as he tried not to imagine the horror vision of her body being ripped apart by rows of sharp, uneven, vicious teeth. "Shego, um…" He cleared his throat.

"Let's get going on another lair, shall we?" Shego interrupted him quietly, and she even gave him a small smile and patted his shoulder before she left.

Drakken stood and stared after her a few seconds before he followed. She regretted doing what she'd done, was what she'd meant, and she was also implying that she knew she was better off with him as her boss than she'd been with the buffoon. It was her way of saying she was sorry, he supposed, and he found it ridiculously easy to forgive her.

Because he couldn't honestly say that he wouldn't at least have been tempted to do the same thing in her shoes— if she no longer was herself, if she no longer wanted to help him do evil, if there was another person who might guarantee him victory, and if she might eventually stop him or turn him over to the authorities because she was on the side of good.

The flexibility of your morals was one of those things that were great about being a villain, because it gave you freedom, but it was also really kind of tricky at the same time.

* * *

_TBC. _

**Author's note:** The busted-up, pink '57 Desoto belongs to Ernie Floyd of Bud Grace's comic strip _The Piranha Club_, formerly known as_ Ernie_. It was the first thing that sprang to mind when I needed to describe a crappy car.

**Security of Resources **and**Friendship, Part II** are set after _Dimension Twist_, while **Intimacy** and **Food, Part II** are set after _Emotion Sickness_ and **Morality, Part III** is set after _Bad Boy_.

**Concerning what I said about Shego's age in chapter one:** I meant that I'm putting her age down as twenty-nine going on thirty in season 4, not season 1.

* * *


	8. Stalemate

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Achievement

* * *

**

This was it. This was the moment where they could've talked it out, deciding either to quit or to keep going, to try again— except they were simply seething quietly in their own failures, frustration and hatred simmering inside them.

And so they'd go to jail, and so they'd be separated, and so they'd be making their own conclusions about the whole fantastically massive fiasco without consulting each other even once.

They were well on their way into the Kübler-Ross grief cycle, Drakken getting himself stuck at the second stage of Denial, objecting loudly and helplessly to the outcome of things until Shego gave his shin a swift kick and sent him a death glare that shut him up more efficiently than any amount of violence could. Then he just fell silent, continuing his objections by himself in his head, pleading in self-doubting agony to nobody at all to change reality itself.

Shego, ever the cynic, had quickly bypassed Shock and Denial altogether and had gone straight for the third stage of Anger, an emotion that came as naturally to her as sarcasm, and staying there. Her back hurt terribly, her hair was ruined and she'd just been humiliated by a cheerleader again, worse than she'd ever been before. It had a sense of finality to it this time, like it wasn't just playing anymore. She wanted to get rid of her, never wanted to have to look at her holier-than-thou expression ever again, never wanted to be subjected to the smog of teenage righteousness that always surrounded her…

As for the henchmen…if they thought anything about this at all, they knew better than to voice their opinions.

Drakken stared empty-eyed at the floor of the prison van. He'd given it his all this time, really his all, and yet he'd failed miserably at the very last minute. What could top this?

Really, what could?

Usually, he couldn't hear himself think for the spectacular ideas for world domination plans queuing up in his brain to fight for his attention, but now his mind felt eerily empty and numb except for the word FAILURE struggling against the barriers that were trying hard to suppress the thought, confining it to his sub conscience.

Usually, there would be the tentative beginnings of another plan already letting its presence be known, but now…nothing. Nothing at all, as if all the creative juices had simply been sucked right out of his brain. He felt tapped-out, empty, dry— defenseless except for the Denial building an oh-so-fragile wall between him and despair.

As Shego sat surrounded by her massacred mass of smoking, charred hair, she stewed in the impotent rage that she felt as keenly as if it was a weight on her head, a choking pressure in her chest.

She'd had to listen to Drakken pouring out a whining, desperate lament over their acute lack of success, and she'd snapped when she'd heard him insist that 'this couldn't be happening' for the eleventh time; the lame little kick she'd given him was the only outlet she'd gotten for her anger. Truth be told, she would like to beat up all the henchmen and tear the van apart, but her entire body was aching so badly that all she could do was sit in a slump as she was carted away.

And in just a while, she'd be stretched out on an uncomfortable cot in a small, bare room, maybe even having to deal with an annoying cellmate. No rest for the wicked.

When the van pulled to a stop, Drakken looked up and exchanged a glance with Shego. It didn't tell him much, however, except for the fact that she was clearly exhausted and pissed off.

Shego looked back at him, saw his wide, worried eyes, and saw his lips parting as if he wanted to say something, but then coming back together.

There was no note-worthy communication made between them, both too lost in their own heads, thinking only of themselves. Maybe Drakken worried for a second about how hurt Shego had gotten after the fight, and maybe Shego wondered for a moment if Drakken looked like he was going to give up, but other than that, their only concern was for themselves and how they'd failed.

And they went to jail and they didn't get to talk at all.

If they had, perhaps things would have worked out differently, but they didn't.

* * *

_TBC._

**Author's note:** Post-StD. Just think of this as a small introduction to the next chapter. Phew. Such melodrama.

* * *


	9. SEVEN

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Problem Solving, Part II**

* * *

One hot, lazy day, as she was relaxing on the beach, she suddenly thought of him— though in reality he'd hovered at the edge of her thoughts ever since she'd broken out of prison— and she found herself unable to shake those thoughts, even though she tried.

She really _tried_; she hated having her vacations ruined by stress.

How long had it been? Two months? Three?

The last she'd seen of him had been the back of that horribly tasteless Bueno Nacho CEO suit of his as they'd dragged him away.

He hadn't even looked back, and that was what had made her think later that he might not— that when he got out again, he might just…not be Dr. D anymore.

That was _one _of the reasons why she'd left him there. There were many other reasons too, of course, more selfish reasons, but that was one of them.

And then she'd gone to work with others. She'd been broken out of jail twice, and she'd grudgingly thought that she should at least hear them out for their trouble— also, she'd been itching for some criminal action after being cooped up for so long.

First there was Motor Ed. Ed was a semi-misogynistic jerk who'd only needed her around for a hood ornament or something. That was all there was to it, and she only teamed up with him in the first place because she'd thought he'd had an actual evil plan. Sure, his mechanical skills were admirable, but she must've been desperate to believe that he'd had any other kind of plan than to drive around aimlessly while trying to look cool.

And then there was Junior. Junior…wasn't very quick on the uptake, sure, but he was much nicer, and treated her with manners and respect. Which was why she'd been quite surprised when he'd forgotten to fish her out of the crocodile pit.

_Dr. D_ would've never—

Shego gritted her teeth and shut her eyes, grimacing as she shook her head vehemently.

No, there would be no more thinking about her stupid boss.

Shego had never been good with guilt. For one thing, she felt it so rarely that it was slightly hard for her to even recognize the emotion when it surfaced. Shego didn't do guilt.

She didn't do sweetness, she didn't do crying, and she didn't do guilt.

Guilt was just…very uncomfortable. It made her squirm, as if she had some itch she couldn't get to, and it made her think things she didn't like.

Besides, she had nothing to feel guilty about, anyway. It wasn't her job to break him out— he was a big boy and should be able to take care of himself. _He_ was the one who was supposed to be the evil genius, right? Sure, he didn't have any special comet powers, but couldn't he just…build some sort of explosive device out of odds and ends he'd pilfered at the prison and bust himself out or something? What kind of a super villain _was_ he if he couldn't even get himself out of _prison_?

Granted, somebody else had broken _her_ out, but still…

Sometimes, he should be able to be left on his own.

And…after everything that had happened, she just didn't want— she'd been working with him for too long, and they'd failed too many times, and he'd gotten far too attached to her, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She needed a break from him and his crazy schemes, and his hyperactive behavior, and their failures upon failures, and the way he sometimes acted as if they were friends instead of employer and employee, like he wasn't supposed to act when he was supposed to be all evil, and how he was starting to affect her with his silliness—

—and how he'd looked the last time he'd seen him, with the empty, desperate stare of someone who'd more or less given up.

She'd only seen it as a temporary setback, and she'd been eager to get out of jail again, but the Doc always took everything so personally, he was always so sensitive, and it was never her plans, anyway, so she never felt the blow quite as hard when they failed as he did. Sure, she felt frustrated and humiliated and angry for a while, but she never got sad or depressed, and she always got back on her feet. She was only part of the execution of said plans, and his on-again off-again adviser, but he was the brains behind the outfit, so to speak—not the common sense, sure, but the creative energy, anyway—and this Diablo project had really been his baby. She'd never seen him look quite so pleased with himself.

And it was a long fall from the top, as they said.

She didn't want to see him again if he was going to have been reduced to some hopeless has-been, the manic fire all gone from his eyes, someone who'd never— and he was so annoying, and he'd probably whine all day, and all she wanted was some peace and quiet…and she wanted to be alone, not having to deal with…she wanted to be alone.

Still…in the evening, she went and bought a handful of postcards. She knew she'd probably need more than one before she could decide exactly what to write.

**Dr. D,** she wrote as she lay on the hotel bed,

**How are you doing? I'm—**

No, no, no— what was _that _supposed to be? That was far too light-hearted to write to someone she'd just left in prison. Even she couldn't be _that_ rotten.

She chewed nervously at the back of the pen, her stomach churning uncomfortably; she put it down to some bad seafood. It couldn't be guilt, anyway.

Picking up a postcard with a picture of a placid evening beach scene, she settled down on her stomach on the hotel bed to write, kicking her legs idly behind her as she pondered her predicament.

She'd been on vacation for a good two weeks now, and though it'd been quite relaxing at first, it was getting boring, not to mention a little lonely—

—no, never lonely, she didn't need anyone—

—and she supposed she could go break out the old geek in a few days time, couldn't she? Maybe she could, maybe it wouldn't be so bad—

Letting her thoughts flow freely, she sipped at her ice cold Corona before putting the pen to the cardboard square.

**Drakken,**

**I ditched your cousin, and I'm on vacation. I hope you're keeping out of trouble in jail.  
I don't want to discover you've got more scars, a missing eye, prison tattoos or any deep, mental  
traumas when I next see you again**

Taking another sip of her beer, she tapped her pen on the card in thought before she continued.

**When I'm done catching rays and having drinks with beach boy hotties, I'll consider coming to get you.  
I know you won't be able to escape without me, anyway, and I'm sure you're just itching to get out and  
do some evil again. Keep those world domination plans on ice until I get there. I expect you'll have cooked up  
at least a couple dozen while you waited for me.**

**Shego**

Sighing, she crumpled up the card into the ashtray on her bedside table and put a plasma-lit finger to it, watching it burn until every last piece of it was gone.

She'd never intended to send it— it wasn't as if she could_ tell_ him she was going to come rescue him anyway; actually announcing her arrival to the prison guards like that would be very stupid indeed— but for the sake of her own mental health, she'd just needed to get some things out. She was sure he hadn't made up a single plan…

Picking up the last post card, which had a picture of some fat tourist in a stupid hat, eating a gigantic ice cream cone, she began anew.

**Drakken,**

**I ditched Eddie. I expect the caveman will turn up in prison one of these days.**

**Try not to let yourself get beat up or anything,  
Shego**

She decided to send that one. It gave him no indication that she'd come get him, and that was what she wanted, because she wasn't sure if she'd come rescue him very soon. She wanted some more time by herself.

She could've used the code he'd come up with a few years back that would tell the other person they were coming to get them, but she hated that lame code—something about Big Alpha whatever Gold Leader; she'd never bothered to learn it properly— and besides, she just didn't know if she actually wanted to see him again or not.

Not this soon, anyway**...**

* * *

**Confidence**

* * *

One day, when the mail arrived, there was actually something for him.

Frankly, he felt astonished. Nobody ever wrote to him. Not even his mother, who luckily was still blissfully unaware that he was imprisoned.

When it turned out to be from Shego, he felt even more confused.

It was a tacky postcard, which told him she was probably on vacation somewhere sunny while he was rotting in jail, and he would've thrown a tantrum if he hadn't been so curious as to what she even had to say to him.

**Drakken,** it began,

**I ditched Eddie. I expect the caveman will turn up in prison one of these days.**

**Try not to let yourself get beat up or anything,  
Shego**

What was it even supposed to mean, Drakken thought as he read the postcard. She didn't say a word about rescuing him or a word of encouragement or anything, so why had she even bothered to write to him? Was it to be smug? Was it to rub her own freedom in his face?

"Heeey," his cellmate, Frugal Lucre— whom he simply called 'Annoyance Factor F' to himself— exclaimed, leaning towards him with a teasing grin; the guy had no concept of personal space, "What's that, a postcard from your _girlfriend_?"

"Hardly." Drakken scoffed; right now he was so pissed off at and disappointed in Shego that she was probably the last person on Earth— save for the cheerleader brat and DNAmy— that he would ever want for his girlfriend. "It's just my partner-in-crime. Or perhaps _ex_-partner-in-crime. I'm considering letting her go."

"Oooh," Lucre said, nudging his ribs. "Trouble in paradise, huh?"

"Something like that." Drakken said, and his tone was so hard and grim that it caused even someone like Lucre to drop the subject.

_Okay,_ Drakken thought, as the lights were out for the evening and he lay on his cot, trying to sleep while Lucre babbled his ears off about something to do with comparing the prices of the frozen chicken wings they sold at Smart Mart with the prices of their rival chain stores, _at least she's written to me, so at least she apparently __**remembers**__ about me._

Just for that, he'd give her one more chance.

Drakken groaned as he rolled around on his stomach, trying to muffle the sound of Lucre's incessant prattle with his pillow. Sometimes Drakken wondered if maybe Lucre was only _pretending_ to be that stupid when it came to social things like personal space and sarcasm; maybe Lucre was in fact slowly winding him up in an utterly devious way. In some of his more paranoid moments, Drakken even went as far as to wonder if Lucre had made a deal to get out of prison early if he did a good job of driving the infamous Dr. Drakken nuts during his stay.

_At least she didn't put any more stock in Eddie than in me, either_, he thought, his attention drifting back to Shego.

If she didn't come to get him during the next week or so, however, he decided, she was permanently fired.

That night, he dreamt about Shego coming to rescue him in a blaze of green plasma, followed by a glorious getaway…only to push him out of the hovercraft just before they'd reached the lair.

Even if breakfast the following morning was his favourite— or at least one of the more edible things they had to eat in the prison— it somehow left a bad taste in his mouth.

* * *

**Security of Body, Part II**

* * *

So she'd lied. So she wasn't going to back to the spa. It didn't matter, anyway, because she hadn't actually _paid_ for the spa yet, and now they'd certainly _never_ get their money.

There was no way she could go to a spa when Drakken had just had his lair ruined and had been literally thrown out on his head from a great height. He was remarkably tough for someone so whiny, and she knew he'd probably survive the fall, but he might be injured.

When he was stuck in prison, at least he had three square meals a day, a bed, shelter etc, but now he was far from his other lairs without a mode of transportation, and possibly injured…

Even she couldn't let him just lie there. Or maybe _especially_ she.

Except for Drakken's mother, who would care?

And except for maybe her annoying brothers, who except Drakken would've cared if it had been _her_?

Okay, so he'd been a jerk, and she wasn't feeling particularly friendly towards him at the moment, but somehow, Shego knew that Drakken would have done the same for her.

When she reached the bottom of the cliffs, she caught sight of him lying on his back on the sand, panting, his eyes tightly shut in a grimace, his clothes soaking wet and covered here and there in patches of wet sand…

…and his face…

He was bleeding, his nose appearing broken, and as he tried to sit up, he yelped in pain as he put weight on his arm— his wrist had to be sprained or something.

"Dr. D?"

When he looked up, there was a fleeting moment of relief on his face before it was drowned in a deep, angry scowl. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Came to see if you'd survived the fall," she said flippantly, regretting it instantly as she saw the look on his face. Jokes were obviously _very_ out of place right then.

"You've come to _mock _me? At a time like _this_?"

She caught the sharp edge to his voice, which was quivering with barely suppressed rage, and her face fell serious. "No, I—"

"Gah, just— just shut up and get away from me!" He barked as he began struggling to his feet, weighed down by his clothes, heavy with water, and the fact that he only really had the proper use of one of his hands.

When she tried to help him up and he slapped her hands away, her eyes widened as she realized he was a whole lot angrier than she'd thought.

"Unless you haven't noticed, I'm not very pleased with you right now!" He snapped with heavy sarcasm, pushing past her as he staggered across the beach, towards the road.

"_Excuse_ me? _You're_ not very pleased with_ me_?" She shot back acidly, hardly believing her own ears. "And you think I'm— I'm _what_, planning to buy you a gift basket for letting your Green Giant wannabe of a sidekick kick me around like a _football_?"

He whirled around with a sneer. "You're the one who picked a fight with her!"

"Yeah, _after_ she threw me through a _door_!" Shego exclaimed, throwing her hands up.

"Well— well, _poor_ you!" Drakken hissed, mocking her. "At least she didn't throw you off a _cliff_!"

"Hey, just because I don't have a nosebleed, it doesn't mean I'm not hurt, ya know!" Shego objected, hands on hips. "Thanks to your Miss Thunder Thighs, I'm not exactly gonna be wearing a bikini again for a while!"

"Oh, shut up!" Drakken blurted out, getting so angry at her accusations that he wasn't even sure what to say anymore.

"No, _you_ shut up," Shego said coldly, eyes narrowing with offence. "You just had your sidekick beat me up, you captured me and tied me up and _gloated_ about it in front of me! After all that, you should be _grateful_ that I even bothered to come see if you were all right!"

Drakken gawked at her for a second as he hesitated, a small spark of hope flaring up in him. She had a point; maybe he'd already had his revenge, maybe it could be over, maybe they could be even, maybe she was trying to reach out to him despite her pride, maybe she _had_ just stopped Warmonga because she was jealous, and not because she was against him— but then he remembered her laughter as she abandoned him in prison, remembered the tone of her voice as she'd called out 'Later, loser!', and his mouth became a tight line, the fist of his good hand tightening.

"How did you _think_ I was going to feel? You left me in prison, and now you helped Kim Possible beat me! I could have _won_ if it hadn't been for you!" Drakken bellowed. "I could have _won_! I could have had_ revenge_! Revenge _and_ the world!"

Shego came to an abrupt halt; she'd been so wrapped up in how frustrating it was to have him refuse her help after she'd been kind enough to cut her vacation short to come help him despite of how he'd just treated her. She'd momentarily forgotten that he still had some very good reasons to be mad at her.

Unwisely, she made another, more tentative grab for his arm, which he shrugged off once again, snarling at her. "Don't follow me!"

She took a step forward. "Dr. D, don't—"

"Are you _deaf_? I said GO AWAY!"

"I'm not gonna just—"

"Shut up! Leave me alone and just— _be elsewhere_!" He yelled somewhat hoarsely, grimacing and waving his arms as if to swat away the painful moment like it was some kind of bothersome fly. "Not here, not in front of my face! I don't want anything to do with you! "

"Listen, I— I'm gonna forget about the whole thing with your alien ex-sidekick for a while, okay?" She frowned, trying to negotiate with him, getting ready to swallow some of her pride. "See, the thing is that…I worked with Junior and Eddie, and it bombed big time. I wanted to see if you were okay and if maybe you and me—"

That caught his interest, despite it all. "See? Why did you absolutely feel the need to abandon me? Looks like you failed without me, too! _Twice_! So maybe it's not just me, huh?" He peered critically at her. "Is that why you had to foil me? Are you afraid I'll succeed without you?"

"I…I needed a _vacation_!" Shego exclaimed, trembling inwardly with offence and rage at his words, which were clearly designed to provoke.

He scoffed loudly. "That's a lousy excuse! It's not much of a vacation if you're still working and—"

"I needed a vacation from _you_!" She all but yelled. "_Okay_? From _you_!"

He froze for a moment, taking a step back before his eyes narrowed slowly. "Well, good for you, then. Now you can have a vacation from me _for the rest of your life_! Because you are officially FIRED!" Drawing himself up as best he could, radiating wounded pride, anger and an injured ego and heart, he stomped off, away from her. It wasn't his usual indignant sulk; no, he was so mad and so hurt that he couldn't even stand to look at her any longer.

Shego was left helpless in the wake of his rage, standing there feeling numb as she watched him walk away.

A full minute went by before she walked slowly towards the hover car she'd borrowed from one of Dr. D's lairs, her eyes staring unseeing at the door as she put the car keys in the lock.

She wasn't used to this. She'd always been the one to ditch others, not vice versa, and it left her directionless and confused.

Always before, there had been some sort of vague, unspoken, underlying understanding that even if they fought or said bad things to each other, they'd stick together. And that understanding had always been one of those comforting, stable things in her life that she didn't like to acknowledge to herself. This time, however, she hadn't felt that understanding. This time, there was the actual possibility that she might not even _ever _see him again.

And it made her feel worse than she'd imagined she'd feel if it ever happened; because she _had_ thought about it before, whether she liked to admit to it or not. It made her feel as if someone had yanked away a rug from under her feet so she'd fallen flat on her face, her teeth rattling as she accidentally bit her own tongue. And she should know how_ that_ felt; Possible had done it to her at least once, the sneaky brat.

And then some awful, humiliating sense of panic set in, her breath becoming a bit labored.

The only other time he'd left her, he'd told her he'd be back in just a week or so, but now…now it seemed permanent.

He couldn't do this to her, could he?

Could he?

Oh, yes, he could.

She'd thought he'd given up, and he hadn't; he'd gone on in the quest for global domination even without her. He had the will power to continue his life work even without her around, and maybe that unnerved her just a little bit, maybe that had surprised her more than it should have—

He didn't need her. He still had money and lairs and other resources, and he could just hire a new assistant. He_ could_ leave her, and he'd already done it. Their partnership had been terminated, and now he probably hated her guts—

How could this have happened?

She'd known it was rotten of her to leave him there in prison when she'd had at least two or three chances to get him out of there, but she just hadn't been able to deal with him right then, and she hadn't cared, she'd just wanted to be alone—

_And now you can be alone as much as you want to_, she thought gloomily as she clutched the steering wheel.

* * *

Drakken stared into the bathroom mirror, wincing at what he saw there. He had a few small bruises on his face, and that was okay enough, but his nose was a throbbing blossom of pain and bruised bloodiness.

_This_ was what he'd looked like, and she'd still found it within herself to _joke_? How could she—

No, no, it was all okay now; he didn't have to think about her anymore, because she was no longer a part of his life. He'd never see her again, and good riddance to her…

Bending down into the sink, he let some cold water run over his wounds, but however carefully he introduced his face to the cold water, it still stung like the blazes.

Hissing, he tried to keep from crying out at the pain. For once, though, he didn't mind physical injuries that much— at least it kept his mind off of certain other things.

Just as he was meticulously drying his face with some paper towels, he jumped and almost hit his head on the bathroom mirror when there was a sudden, loud ringing noise.

Panting, startled, it took him a second or two to realize that the noise was coming from the cell phone he kept in his pocket.

For a brief, disoriented moment, he grinned to himself in self-satisfied discovery. And Shego had said that the water-proof cell phone had been a waste of money! That just showed _her_! Shego always—

His face fell.

Oh. Right. Shego. Whom he'd never see again.

He pushed the unexpected stab of sadness away and replaced it with bitterness. _That ungrateful, backstabbing little—_

Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed the phone.

"Yes, what is it?" Came a strained, harsh voice, and she cringed. He was still mad. Well, no wonder, really— it had only been half an hour.

"Drakken…?"

Drakken caught his own surprise in the mirror; large, dark, startled and slightly bloodshot eyes staring back at him before narrowing with shocked anger. "_Shego_? What are _you_ doing calling me _now_?" He demanded. "I just lost my lair— and, and _you_, you just, you ruined my first real chance at victory since, since— you have _some_ nerve, you know that?"

What was she even thinking? Did she think a phone call was all it took? How could she be this presumptuous? How could she even think it was okay to call him up now at _all_?

Shego blinked; he obviously hadn't even bothered looking at the call display, or he would've known it was her calling. Good thing, too, because by the sound of him, he might not have picked up if he'd known it was her. "Look, Doc, I just— I wanted to—"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore," He said slowly through gritted teeth, "do you _understand_?"

"But—" To her horror, Shego felt a lump forming in her throat, which suddenly felt constricted.

"Haven't you done _enough damage_ already?"

Shego bit her lip as she felt her eyes actually filling up with large, stinging tears— she never cried! Never! It had to be her time of the month, or the weather, or— or _something_! "Drakken, I didn't—" She cut herself off as she noticed that her voice came out as a small, pathetic croaking sound. No, she really, really didn't do guilt. Handling guilt was _not_ her thing. And how could he let her feel like this, how could he continue to be that angry at her— hadn't he already paid her back by now? What did he _want_?

"And another thing—" He barked, but then suddenly hesitated. "Sh-shego? Shego…are you _crying_?"

"No, I'm not," she said, but the slight pause before she answered and the thickness of her slightly defiant voice told him otherwise.

Drakken's end of the line was quiet for a few seconds. He hadn't expected that. Not in a million years had he expected that. And Shego wasn't the type to manipulate people with crocodile tears, either, so those tears would have to be—

It didn't change everything, but it did change _something_. It convinced him that she might be almost as affected by all this as he was, and that…had to count for _something_.

When Shego spoke again, her voice sounded uncharacteristically reedy. "Dr…Dr. D? Are you there?"

"Um, Shego…maybe you could…uh…" He left the sentence hanging, but she got it.

"I can?"

"Uh…yes…if you want."

She felt suddenly chipper, even as her eyes stung and tears spilled down her cheeks. "Okay, Doc, I'll be there in no time! Where are you?"

* * *

He turned out to be at a seedy seaside bar not far from his ruined lair, and when she pulled up to get him, he was inside, sitting bent over a nearly-finished glass of whiskey at a small corner table.

The bartender was giving Drakken distrusting looks, as if he wanted him to leave.

Had it been a higher class of bar, Shego knew, Drakken would've probably been thrown out already. He was still covered in patches of sand and was dripping water on the floor. As it was, the bar was mostly empty, and the owner probably needed the money. Also, the floor looked as if it was installed by an innkeeper who _expected_ people to spill or drip various questionable liquids on it.

"Your nose looks broken." She said when he looked up and saw her. It looked like he'd been to the bathroom and cleaned away the blood, but there was still a nasty cut and a lot of bruising there.

"I know," He muttered darkly. "Your eyes are all red." He added, glancing at her.

"Must be allergies." She replied carelessly, trying to play it down. "And your wrist…?"

"Hurts a lot," he said honestly, holding up a hand, which was wrapped in a clean handkerchief that he must've gotten from the bartender.

She thought for a few seconds before deciding: "Um, we have an apartment nearby, remember? It's not very big, but it's late and I don't wanna travel far."

He frowned briefly as if trying to remember something, then nodded. "Oh, that one. Yes…sure…" He mumbled, downing the last of his whiskey before following her out the door.

* * *

The apartment was rather tiny, and bare, as it was one of those apartments they never really used. He'd bought it when during a period when he hadn't had that much money, and it was really just a small, emergency hidey-hole, in case his lair exploded for the millionth time. He'd only ever stayed there once before.

Luckily, though, he'd stashed a bag of his things here, like clothes, toiletries, some money and a spare set of hover car keys.

Without a word, he picked up the bag and went straight for the bathroom. He was badly in need of a shower. As he left the room, he could practically feel Shego hovering nervously behind him until he closed the bathroom door.

The shower was slightly painful as the hot water made him discover bruises and small cuts he hadn't noticed so far, too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Nevertheless, it was a relief to be able to wash away the dirt and sand and salty sea water and change into a clean set of pajamas and a robe he'd left hanging on the hook on the bathroom door the last time. Hesitating at the mirror, he stared at himself for a good few minutes as he procrastinated having to face Shego again. He winced as he touched the cut on his nose; prodding it experimentally, he decided once and for all that it probably _wasn't_ broken, only badly bruised.

When he finally drew a deep breath and steeled himself for having to look at Shego again, he found her at the small kitchen table when he reemerged from the bathroom. She'd also changed into her robe and pajamas, and she looked up hesitantly at him when he walked through the door.

"You can have the bed," she told him quickly, and he nodded. He really didn't feel up to being a gentleman and offering her the bed. Not only was he feeling like crap and didn't need the discomfort of sleeping on the couch that night, but he wasn't exactly feeling very generously inclined towards her right then.

Truth be told, it was a large double bed, on which they could've both easily fit onto if they'd wanted, but it was really out of the question. Even on a good day, Drakken wouldn't even have _considered_ sharing the bed with her, and especially not now, when he was feeling anything but pleased with her.

He'd always been a bit annoyed that it was a double bed, but it'd been the only thing he'd been able to acquire on such short notice. The last time, he was the one who'd been stuck on the couch.

The last time, he thought wistfully, it really seemed like a lifetime ago…

Everything felt so different now. Nothing was right anymore.

Just the fact that Shego had actually even _cried_ told him everything he needed to know. Thing simply weren't right between them.

And now she just sat there in a rumpled robe and pajamas and stared at him, looking so small and anxious, looking absolutely nothing like herself, like the Shego he knew, and it made him acutely uncomfortable.

Their relationship had always been filled up with words, a constant flow of thrust and parry, back and forth— annoying yet reassuring banter— but now it was occupied by a silent void, sucking up words that barely even had time to form in their minds in the first place.

Abruptly, Shego stood up from the kitchen chair and went over to the sink to run herself a glass of water. That was another thing— there was no food in this apartment, since they never used it. Suddenly, Drakken had never felt hungrier in his life— yet at the same time, he felt nauseous, like he'd only get sick if he actually ate anything.

"It should have been you." He said, then, breaking the silence.

"Huh?" Shego glanced at him as she sipped at her glass of water.

"I thought it was you, you know." He went on in a quiet voice, feeling almost embarrassed for having had that hope in the first place. "At prison, getting me out. They said some green lady was looking for me and I thought— it should've been you, not some alien."

"Hmm…" Shego mumbled absently, her voice muffled by the glass of water.

"You do see why I'm angry, right?" Drakken asked imploringly, appealing to her but addressing the chess-patterned kitchen floor.

She gave him a long, indecipherable look before she put her glass down on the counter, empty. "Let's get you fixed up, shall we?"

Drakken frowned at her back as she left to get the emergency kit, a heavy sense of disappointment settling on his shoulders. Suddenly, he felt utterly sad and just a little bit sick. She'd come to pick him up, yes, and he knew he could never expect much from her when it came to sensitivity, even though she obviously cared— but this time, he wanted more. He _needed _more.

He needed her to understand what she'd done, and he needed an apology.

And it didn't look like he was going to get one, or that she was going to admit to anything. If he hadn't been so tired and disillusioned, he might've even bothered crying a little in frustration, but now he didn't feel like that at all. It just felt helpless, and tears were wasted on it.

Wordlessly, he followed her to the couch when she gave him a beckoning glance when she returned.

After she'd wrapped his wrist up with gauze, she had this strange look in her eyes as she dabbed at his face with a wet cloth; it was unfocused and slightly discomfited, like she was trying to look at him and _not_ look at him at the same time. He could tell she'd probably never done this before, or at least only very seldom. She'd patched him up once before, about a year or two ago, but that'd been his arm, not his face, and as such much less intimate.

He couldn't stand it anymore, just couldn't have her this close and trying to care for him when he felt as if he might've been tempted to hit her if she was a man, for what she'd done to him— when he felt as if he'd panic if she started crying again, when he felt as if he didn't know if he wanted to throw the apartment's ridiculously tiny TV out the window or yell at her again or beg her to apologize to him so they could get this whole awful thing out of their systems.

"I can…do it myself." Drakken said finally, taking the cloth from her. He could see her throat move as she swallowed nervously, saw her eyes go just a little larger.

"Are you sure you…"

"Yes." He said as he got up and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

_TBC._

* * *

**Author's note: **The next chapter will also deal with the aftermath of MDAA.

A whole heap of thanks to my beta for this chapter, **Zoza**, who gave me some rather good advice on it. Be sure to check out her D/S fic, _Lucre The Matchmaker_. It's on my list of favourites in my profile here.

**EDIT (14.08.08): **I've rewritten the chapter a bit. To be honest, I was _never _very happy with it, and it didn't take me that long to figure out why (though it took me long to actually _do_ something about it). It was too one-sided. Shego was basically just letting herself be yelled at, even if Shego would actually have been quite angry, too, after what had just happened during _MDAA_. She'd just been replaced as a sidekick, she'd been beat up and captured and Drakken had gloated about it.

Ultimately, she'd probably realize he'd had his reasons and that he did hold the moral high ground— more or less— in this particular case, considering that she left him in jail twice and then foiled his plan, but my problem was that I'd written Shego as not objecting even a little, despite the fact that she'd obviously also have some issues and accusations to get off her chest after everything that had happened. I just felt that she seemed a little OOC, that's all.

I don't know Shego's reasons for not getting Drakken out of jail— well, none of us do, really— but I'm guessing it was more than one reason, and this was just my theory.

We never got to see Drakken and Shego make up at the end of Mad Dogs and Aliens. I think Drakken was pretty mad at her at this point, and I can't imagine that he would welcome her back with open arms or anything…but they did start working together again, and everything seemed to be back to normal in the next episode, so, yeah…I wrote this. It can't have happened without a certain amount of drama, IMO.

**Problem Solving, Part II** and **Confidence** are set after _Car Alarm _and _The Big Job_, and **Security of Body, Part II** is obviously set directly after _Mad Dogs and Aliens_, after Warmonga threw Drakken out of his lair.

* * *


	10. EIGHT

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Friendship, Part III**

* * *

He was gone the next morning, and he'd taken her hover car, or rather _his_ hover car, with him.

It was like a kick in the gut— and again, she _knew_ what those felt like.

First, she'd just wandered around the tiny apartment in aimless circles, wondering if he'd just gone right down the street for groceries and that he'd be back soon. But no, he'd have probably left a note or something, then, right? And then she'd noticed that the hover car was gone—another hard blow.

She'd known that something had been wrong, that they were far from okay again, even if she'd gone to get him and even if she'd tried in her own, roundabout way to care for him, but she really hadn't imagined that he'd just _leave_.

Dr. D didn't do that. _She_ did that.

Leaving people behind was almost like a way of life for her. It had started with her brothers. She'd gone on to ditch fellow villains, boyfriends, even Dr. D on occasion – but _he_ didn't leave _her._

It had been too easy to get him back, she realized. She should've _known_ that it had been too easy, that it wouldn't last.

But if she had anything to say about this, it wouldn't end like this. Shego never gave up. Not like this. Not when her Dr. D was being silly. Hadn't he understood that she was sorry? Hadn't he gotten the point? She'd even given him her tears, however unintentionally— wasn't that enough? Didn't he understand what a _privilege_ that was? No one _ever_ saw or heard Shego cry.

Obviously not. So she needed to do more, even if it would be embarrassing and taxing for a person who very seldom tapped into that spectrum of her emotions. She'd never been good at being sensitive or apologizing, which was probably one of the great things about being a villain— villains didn't have to apologize. Except in some cases, they obviously had to. When they had sensitive employers with whom they had unusually close relationships, they had to.

It wouldn't be too easy to apologize to him, however, since part of her still felt that he should feel more than vindicated already after what he and his temporary sidekick had done to her, and didn't think he quite deserved to hear a 'sorry'. Whatever she'd end up saying to him, though, it was clear that she needed to talk to him.

So Shego locked up the small apartment and went out on a search, after jacking the fastest car she could find.

The only problem was that he had more hideouts and old lairs than he could keep track of, and he was always getting new ones.

It was probably going to take a while.

* * *

Drakken was whistling as he was busily welding away at one of the components of his latest experiment, which was hopefully going to be the intercontinental electro-magnetisizer when he was done with it.

Even after the Little Diablo fiasco, even after the whole ordeal with Warmonga and with Shego, he still wasn't giving up his life's dream. He'd had a temporary setback after the shock of losing even after all the security measures he'd taken the last time with keeping Kim Possible occupied and with how devious and well-executed his plot had been, but a couple of months in prison had given him plenty of time to think.  
He wasn't giving up for anything, and especially not now, when his evil, creative inspiration was finally flowing freely again. Besides, in what other direction could one really move but forward?

Turning the welder off and putting it away, he took a quick bite out of the sandwich on the plate next to him, humming a little as he fumbled on the work bench for a wrench. He paused; where was it?

Blinking, he put the sandwich away and leaned forward, searching through the things on the bench. He could've sworn he'd put it right there just a few minutes ago—

"SHEGO! Shego, can you get me the—" Drakken froze as his own voice reverberated between the walls of his cavernous lab. Straightening his back, he slowly turned around, and was greeted by a vast, empty space. All the henchmen had gone home for the night, and he was alone in his lab. The eerie silence and the fact that the view of the lonely, empty lab was filtered through the purple lenses of his goggles didn't help any.

Pushing the goggles up onto his forehead, he frowned into the gloom of the large laboratory. He was standing in a solitary pool of light made by the lighting fixtures over his work bench, and was surrounded by shadowy corners and a high, dark ceiling.

He'd never been afraid of the dark, it wasn't that, but he rather...he didn't really like emptiness.

Right. Shego wasn't there, and she wouldn't be there tomorrow, either, or the next day or the day after that...

For just a second, he'd simply forgotten.

He swallowed slightly, a pressing sensation in his chest as he tried to not think about everything that had happened lately, what she'd done and what he'd done— he bit his lip as he tried not to wonder where she was and what she was doing and what she was thinking— was she angry? Was she— she couldn't be sad, could she?

Sometimes, if he wasn't paying attention, he remembered how her voice had sounded when he'd realized she'd actually been crying. Because of him.

And she'd had a point about how he'd treated her around Warmonga, it _had_ been sort of— maybe she didn't reserve any more of his wrath—

But then his thoughts would wander further, and he would remember her cruel taunts or the way she'd been all clammed up, not able to apologize or to recognize his pain— whether she didn't want to or if she just didn't realize that he needed her to, he didn't know— even after everything...and then suddenly he'd remember why he'd made his decision to leave in the first place, and he wouldn't miss her after all.

Less, anyway.

He shouldn't have to _remind_ himself to be angry, he thought worriedly as he stared down at his black work boots. He should just _be_ angry. Well, he _was_ angry at her sometimes, still, but mostly he just felt...strange. Like he didn't quite know _what_ to feel. All he knew was that he didn't want to have to deal with her. Not now. Maybe never. Maybe.

It was almost frightening how easily her name had rolled off his tongue just now. Through the years, he'd gotten so accustomed to absently calling out for her, and it was a habit that was so deeply ingrained in him by now that it'd probably be a bit difficult to shake the urge to call her.

But it was peaceful here now, and he was free to work without anybody giving him sass. It was nice and...quiet.

Quiet was the key word, really. He'd noticed that he'd taken to talking to himself a whole lot more than he used to, and that was...not good. Talking excessively to yourself was only one step away from cackling, forgetting to shower for _days_ and spouting things like 'Crazy! They all called me _crazy_! But_ I'll_ show them!', as far as he was concerned.

He was a mad scientist, but he didn't much like the prospect of actually going _insane_. There was a distinct difference there. Not that he thought he _would_ go insane, but some company would be nice. Some company that wasn't a mass of dragging knuckles and bulky muscles wrapped in red suits, and who could actually contribute more to a conversation than 'Uhhh, yes, boss!'

Sometimes he wondered if his henchmen had been transported directly into his lair from some sort of bizarre dimension that was entirely populated by mobster goons from old forties Warner Brothers cartoons.

Other than the company, he'd never truly considered just how many parts Shego went out and bought or stole for him for whatever machine he was currently working on, either. Sure, often he provided the parts himself, but she really had done her share of work so he could concentrate on planning, experimenting, putting everything together and making sure everything worked. It was rather distracting, now, having to go out and get everything himself, or worse yet, sending his henchmen out to do it for him. It really slowed down the work process.

"I need a new assistant," He muttered as he shoved the goggles back into place and resumed his work.

After about twenty minutes, however, he gave up for the night and went to bed instead. It was already two am, anyway.

He decided to hire a new assistant as soon as he could. He needed more henchmen, too. Perhaps some that were actually competent.

* * *

After trying to call him up about a couple of dozen times, sending him at least twenty text messages and e-mails and after visiting seven different lairs in five different countries, Shego finally came to the right lair one Thursday evening.

After all this time— during which he'd obviously been ignoring her calls, e-mails and text messages— she was completely livid. She'd worked herself up into such a rage that she'd momentarily forgotten the guilt and the fear— now she was just focused on the anger and frustration over the long search she'd been through over the past week or two.

Which was why she nearly kicked down the door to the lab when she entered. Any henchmen who'd contemplated stopping her had quickly thought twice about it and deemed it a bad career move as they'd scurried out of her path.

"DRAKKEN!"

When her gaze finally met his dark eyes, where he stood with his goggles pushed up on his familiar, blue forehead as he leaned over his work bench, busily building something, a look of complete and utter surprise and shock on his face, the relief she felt almost overshadowed her anger, but only almost.

"Shego?" He asked in a puzzled tone, watching her panting angrily, her fists tightening. For a moment, seeing that familiar face, the black and green outfit and the long, flowing hair did something to him; it was as if something that had been wrong clicked back into place again, and his heart leapt briefly before he suddenly remembered again, he remembered—

"Drakken!" She roared. "Where have you been? I've tried contacting you millions of times!" She accused, striding over to him and grabbing him by the front of his coat.

"I know," he said simply. "I've changed my phone number and I've changed my e-mail address, too."

She froze for a second, and it almost looked as if she might've gasped if she hadn't caught herself. "What?" She demanded. "Why?"

"I wanted to be left alone," he said in the same even tones.

"Why? I thought—" Her lip curled with a snarl. "Who do you think you _are_? You can't _do_ that to me!"

His only response was a long, piercing look, and she sagged just a little, letting go of his lab coat. _Right,_ she thought absently, _the_ _pot calling the kettle black. I get it._

"Is this just— exactly _how _long are you going to want to be 'left alone'?" She demanded, trying a new approach, but her voice was a bit softer now.

_For as long as you don't apologize and for as long as you don't __show me somehow that you understand_, he thought, but didn't say it. "I…don't know," he said feebly, and he could see her patience snap a second time, fire igniting within the depths of her eyes.

"Well— well, _figure it out_, for crying out loud! I want to come back to work! I'm not just going to wait around while you _sulk_!" She exploded. "I'm getting sick of this 'I'm so wounded' routine of yours!"

He could feel his body quivering with sudden, barely suppressed rage; she had all the tact of an elephant in a porcelain shop. What the hell was wrong with her? How could she think she could just come here and make demands from him? He was the one in the position to make demands! Was she really that insensitive or was she just being stubborn? Was she really that bad at handling things like this that the only approach she could take was an aggressive one? He decided right then and there that he would make her understand once and for all.

"Shego, it's not that easy. " He sighed. "I've already hired someone else."

Hearing that, it was as if the bottom dropped out of the world. It was as if her mind went into slow motion.

"…what?" She asked faintly.

"I'm sorry," Drakken said, shaking his head, "but I can't keep having you do this."

"Oh, come on…!" Shego rallied, scoffing. "You _can't_ be serious! Don't you think this has gone on _long_ enough? We're _even _now, okay? So just…_stop_ acting all offended and _hire me back_, already!"

This didn't seem to impress Drakken, however. "I'm not naïve, Shego. " He continued sincerely. "When I started in this business, I knew I'd be meeting a lot of untrustworthy people. Before you, I worked with Dementor, and the guy ended up stealing my things and taking off."

That gave her pause; sometimes she almost forgot the fact that not only was he significantly older than her, but that he also had a few more years of experience with working as a villain. "You worked with _Dementor_?"

"Why do you think we're rivals?" Drakken said flatly, shrugging. "I'm used to betrayals, Shego, it's just that I guess I thought…I didn't think that_ you_…"

She swallowed heavily, her mind momentarily waving away the word 'betrayals' for reasons of self-preservation. "Who did you hire?" She asked, changing the subject.

Drakken's eyes widened. "Well, uh, I don't think you know him—"

"Who?" She pressed.

"Um, just some guy—" He replied evasively.

"Where is he?"

"Shego, you can't—"

"I'm better than him, I'll prove it!"She told him fiercely as she took off for the training room.

"Shego!" Drakken called after her desperately before he wrenched the goggles off of his head, throwing them on the work bench and sprinting after her.

* * *

She looked around with a wild-eyed glare as she entered the training room, and just by the stare, several henchmen scattered, staying out of her path. _Henchman, henchman, henchman,_ her mind raced as she went through the crowd of red-clad men— finally, her gaze fell on a tall, dark-haired, muscular-looking man dressed in casual clothing, and she immediately bore down on him, causing more henchmen to hurry away from her.

The stranger's face looked shocked as he caught sight of her, a woman who looked just about ready to kill, and he didn't stand a chance. He dodged the first kick with a lucky move, but she countered by grabbing his arm, pulling him off kilter and finally bringing him down with a low, sweeping kick and a loud thud. He was knocked unconscious, and he looked like he might be out for a while.

Turning around, she saw Drakken standing a few feet away amongst a mass of gaping henchmen. He looked every bit as flabbergasted as them.

"See? _See_?" She said vehemently, pointing at the fallen stranger. "I took him out in three seconds! Three! One, two, three! You_ can't_ get anyone better than me! _No one_!"

"That's not what it's about, Shego!" Drakken objected, exasperated.

"Oh, yeah? Then who's gonna fight the Princess for you now if he can't even beat _me_? Who's gonna put up with your rants and your karaoke and—"

"It's NOT ABOUT THAT, SHEGO!" Drakken repeated, his voice quickly rising in volume. Why wouldn't she_ listen_?

Shego snapped for air, obviously worked up. "Then— then _tell_ me what—"

"I don't want you working for me again because I _can't trust you_!" He blurted out, the blunt statement ringing out in the large room, echoing.

She fell silent, giving him a long, long, vacant stare before, to his great dismay, he noticed that tears were suddenly flowing down her cheeks. The odd thing was that Shego wasn't wailing or sobbing or making much of any sound at all, actually, except for maybe some sniffling that seemed to be the result of her trying to contain herself. He'd never seen anybody cry like that before; as if somebody had turned on a faucet, tears had simply started running down her face in great excess, and it didn't seem like they were going to stop soon.

"Shego!" He exclaimed as he approached her, shocked and discomfited, yet concerned.

"D-don't look at me!" She snapped, wiping furiously at her face with her hands, her face tightening with a painful grimace as she tried futilely to stem the flow.

"But Shego—"

She wasn't stupid; she knew she wasn't always a very trustworthy person, so that comment hadn't really cut her all that deep. What made her cry was the sudden full realization of the reality of his decision. She felt as if she'd tried everything, but nothing worked. He was still firing her, he was still saying goodbye— he really, really was, and she hadn't realized it until now, when it was too late. Not completely; she'd just hoped that—

"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU MORONS!" Drakken barked at the henchmen, who were all standing around, gawking dumbly at Shego in disbelief, and he sounded just irritated and upset enough to send them all practically stumbling over each other in their race to get to the door first. Soon, the training room was deserted, save for himself and Shego, and the passed out man on the floor.

"Shego?" Drakken asked softly as he stepped slowly towards her, reaching out a hesitant hand. She wasn't bawling openly, she just stood there silently with her back turned to him, her shoulders hunched and her hands covering her face.

When he finally dared to touch her shoulder, she spun around, startled, glaring at him through red-rimmed eyes.

"Shego, I—" He attempted, but she wouldn't let him speak, as she rushed at him abruptly, fists raised.

He jumped in fear, bracing himself for the impact—

—but the pain never came.

When he opened his eyes, he saw that she was leaning on his chest, slugging at his arm with all the strength of a kitten.

"What the heck do you _want_? We were _even_! I thought we were okay, I thought we'd made up again!" She accused angrily, pounding his chest weakly with her fists, "And then you just— you _left_!"

"Now I guess you know what it feels like." He said quietly, and watched her eyes widen fractionally as she lifted her face to look at him. She knew.

"You never actually hired anybody else, did you?" She paused, sniffling a little before she suddenly clutched the front of his coat in her fists, leaning her forehead against his chest and dampening the front of his lab coat with her tears, not hugging him but simply holding onto his coat and leaning on him. "If you did all this just to teach me a lesson, I'm gonna kill you," she muttered, burrowing her crying face into the fabric of his coat. "That's the most evil thing I've ever heard."

"And did it work?" He asked seriously, looking down at her sniffling, clinging form.

"Yes, it worked, you jerk." She gave a harsh, short laugh as she looked up at him, and he could tell there was a not insignificant amount of newfound respect in her tearful eyes.

"So, are you going to say the S-word?" He asked, patting her back slightly in answer to her emotional outburst, and couldn't keep a bit of humour from creeping into his voice, his mouth barely keeping from shaping itself into a grin. He'd never been very good at not acting it out when he felt self-satisfied.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Are you looking to rob me of _all_ my dignity?"

"Maybe." He replied innocently.

She gave him another one of those endless looks before she cracked a small grin. "Fine. I'm sorry. Really." She told him, sounding earnest as she dabbed a bit self-consciously at her wet cheeks with the back of her sleeve.

"Good. And…um, I guess I'm sort of sorry for that whole mess with…Warmonga and all." Drakken confessed, slightly uncomfortable and reluctant. "I'm not sorry for what I did today, though." He added honestly.

The amused grin stayed in place, but turned lopsided. "No, I suppose you're just very, very smug."

A tiny, answering grin flitted across his face. "A little bit, yes."

"You bitch." Shego sighed happily as she pinched his cheek hard.

"Oww…!" Drakken complained, but there was no real reproach behind it.

It was odd, Drakken thought as he rubbed his slightly stinging cheek; if he'd done something this sneaky and manipulate against anybody else, they would've never wanted to speak to him again, but when it came to Shego, it only made her like him better. These were things she understood and respected. She only admired the fact that he'd displayed an ability to trick someone with as sharp a mind as herself if he really wanted to, though— if he'd actually _hurt_ her with it, she wouldn't have been quite as lenient.

"So all that stuff with Dementor…?" She asked, laughter in her voice. He'd really gone out of his way to fool her, hadn't he?

"No, that was all true." He shook his head.

Her smile faded, the light-hearted atmosphere disintegrating as she quickly remembered that it wasn't all just fun and games— there was a very good reason why he'd done all this.

"Shego, you have to understand that at first, I didn't…it wasn't my intention to trick you like this to teach you a lesson. I actually…I really _didn't_ know if I wanted to work with you again. I thought I didn't want you around anymore. That's why I left." He looked down at her feet. "But then you showed up, and…"

"I'm gonna work with you again, okay?" She said in a soft, yet defiant voice. "It didn't work out with those other guys."

"Why did you…?" He began to ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.

She just bit her lip and looked at him, and he shook his head dismissively. "You don't have to answer that."

The relief he sensed rolling off of her then was almost tangible. "Thanks." She muttered.

There was a faint groan behind them, and they both turned to see the man on the floor slowly regaining his senses.

"Who_ is_ that guy I just beat up, by the way?" Shego asked, curious.

"Huh? Oh, that's one of my new henchmen." Drakken flapped a hand in an uncertain way. "Um…Simmons or something."

"Oh," Shego grinned sheepishly, "but he wasn't wearing a uniform or anything…?"

"That's because he hadn't been fitted for one yet. They were just showing him the ropes today." Drakken informed her, shrugging as he looked up into the ceiling, "Y'know, don't fall in the shark pit," He began, gesturing vaguely. "Beware of teenaged redheads, don't touch any big, red buttons on the control panels, yadda, yadda, yadda…"

Shego laughed in disbelief. "So it was even his first day on the job, huh?"

"Well…yes." Drakken grinned crookedly as he realized the hilarity of it all. "Huh. I guess if he still comes back after that, he's a keeper, right?"

"Well, either that, or just too dumb to leave." She remarked, smirking.

"Actually, I hired this guy because he seemed like he was a bit brighter than the average henchman." Drakken said, crossing his fingers. "Let's hope I was right."

"Yeah, well, good luck," Shego grinned, shaking her head. "So, uh…what was the deal with you and Dementor, anyway?"

"Oh, it was just the strain of two super villains working under the same roof, you know how it is." Drakken shrugged, grimacing briefly. "Both are evil geniuses, both have big plans, neither are willing to compromise, and certainly not to be the sidekick…to tell you the truth, I would've probably done the same to him if he hadn't done it first. We weren't exactly close. We only worked together for a couple of months or so, and things were never good between us."

"I see." She said, nodding. There wasn't much else to say about that.

"Um, Shego…just wondering…" He began tentatively, shifting his weight from foot to foot a little. "Are you staying here tonight?"

Shego blinked, staring at him as a small patch of warmth began to bloom in her chest. Even if things seemed to be getting back to normal, she honestly hadn't expected him to invite her to live with him again that soon. "Uh…s-sure." She stuttered slightly before clearing her throat harshly; what was wrong with her? "I mean, yes. I mean, uh…is my stuff still here? I thought maybe you'd—"

"It's— everything is still where you left it." He said hastily, not wanting to get into an awkward conversation about whether he'd been so mad at her he'd taken an annihilation ray to her room or something. He'd thought about it, sure, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it. "You should have everything you need."

"Oh." Again, she felt the need to clear her throat, but softer this time. "Okay, good. That's just…okay. Great." She babbled slightly, the feeling of warmth doubling in her chest. He hadn't gotten rid of her things. Whatever the reason for it, whether he'd expected or wanted her to come back or whether he just hadn't had the heart to throw them away, it still made her feel…she didn't quite know what.

"Yes. Um, it's getting late." He said, glancing at her, "I'm going to stay up for a while in my lab, but if you want to…get reacquainted with your room or whatever, just…"

Shego nodded quickly, understanding his need to be alone for a bit after all the awkwardness. "Yeah, I think I'll just go and…yeah…good night, Dr. D." She said, and turned to go, when Drakken suddenly reached out and stopped her by the arm. Blinking, she turned her head.

"Shego," he began, clasping her left hand between his own hands as he looked at her imploringly, his voice steady and serious and just slightly strict. "You're not going to do this anymore, right?"

Her mind swam in confusion as she tried to figure out what he meant, but it was like lightning striking when she got it. He was asking her if she was going to stop abandoning him, to stop teaming up with other villains and—

—well, she'd tried it, and it hadn't worked out, so what reason did she really have for leaving him again, anyway? At least she knew she could trust him—

Then again, she wasn't the kind of person who could be tied down like that, who could be controlled, who—

Who could _belong_…

"I won't, Doc." She shook her head.

"Really, Shego?" He sounded more skeptical and mildly reprimanding than needy or whiny, his voice deep and serious, and she wondered if maybe he didn't know her better than she thought.

Her mouth tried to twitch into a disarming grin, but couldn't. "Wasn't planning on it, no…" She mumbled, looking down.

Drakken slowly let go of her hand as he realized what she was saying. She knew she couldn't promise anything, but she would try. He supposed he should feel grateful for that at least; he couldn't imagine that Shego had given any amount of loyalty even resembling this to anyone else.

"Thanks," he said, trying to meet her gaze, which was avoiding his.

Shego just nodded, shrugging.

Drakken smiled slightly as he walked past her to fetch the henchmen again so they could take care of his newest employee, who was still groaning on the floor.

Shego's eyes widened as, just for a moment, Drakken fingers squeezed her shoulder before patting it briefly. "Good night, Shego."

"Hmm, night…" She mumbled absently as a reply, not sure what she was supposed to feel about what he'd just done. On the one hand, she was happy that he wasn't angry at her anymore, but on the other hand, his gesture intimidated her because it had felt like he'd decided to dismiss her recent betrayals as simply something to do with her personality, as if it was just some silly, exasperating, yet charming flaw she had, but that she would never truly leave him, that she would always return…

It created a dent in her tough exterior, and she wasn't sure if she liked it. Apparently now he was convinced that she would stick with him, and she was going to try, but it made her squirm that he'd seen her like this today; that he'd seen her cry, that he now _knew_—

Somehow, she got the feeling that he'd believed deep down that she would have come for him eventually.

She didn't quite know how to feel about that.

* * *

**Food, Part III, or; Somebody's Jealin'**

* * *

Drakken hadn't been able to sleep well that night, and around four am, he felt the urge for a snack.

When he walked into the kitchen in slippers and pajamas, he saw her outlined in the light from the fridge in her robe, her hair sticking out slightly in all directions as if she'd just gotten out of bed without brushing her hair. When she heard him approach, she glanced around, a small container of yoghurt in her hand.

"Uhh...hi," He said tryingly, pointing slightly at the fridge. "I was just going to..."

"You too, huh?" Shego mumbled softly, a small, sheepish grin on her face as she moved aside so he could get to the fridge, her hand making an attempt at smoothing down her hair in a somewhat embarrassed kind of way.

"Yes," he said simply before he started going through the fridge. None of them mentioned the fact that neither of them were able to sleep at such a late— or early— time, but the words hung silently over their heads in large, blinking neon letters, asking for attention. There was a reason and they both knew it, but it was not to be addressed. For now, there was only this ridiculous politeness.

It was strange to be back together like this, Drakken thought. He'd spent a longer while than usual in prison this time, and he needed a few days or at least a few hours to readjust himself to living with Shego again, especially now after everything that had happened. There was a new tension between them because they hadn't really settled again after all the drama. Drakken hadn't had many friends when growing up, but he could imagine that this was what it might've felt like if his friends in college had ever apologized to him after they'd laughed at him for the whole Bebe incident. It would've been a while until he'd been fully comfortable with them again, and there would've been a small tear in his trust for them that might not ever be mended.

Drakken found himself some milk, some carrot sticks and some leftover chicken, and when he stood back up and closed the fridge door, he saw that Shego was standing at the counter, cutting up a green apple into little boat-shaped slices.

Clearing his throat softly, he sat down at the kitchen table and started on his snack.

There was a pause in the sound of the knife going through the apple, and Shego took a small breath. "Was Warmonga really better than me?"

A piece of chicken halted halfway to his mouth as he stared at her; he put the chicken down again. He hadn't expected that question. "Um, well..."

"Was she?" She repeated, putting down the knife.

"I, uh...she was a very good warrior, I have to admit. And she did give me all that highly advanced alien technology." He sighed. "Pity about losing all that, really."

There was a small pocket of uncomfortable silence before Shego started cutting up the apple again. "Right." She said, and her voice sounded tight with suppressed emotion.

Feeling like he definitely needed to elaborate, Drakken went on. "But she...she was only loyal to me because she thought I was that Great Blue whatever, and I suppose she was a bit too...literal at times."

"Uh huh…" Shego said noncommittally, and he gave an inward sigh. It looked like she wasn't going to contribute to the conversation and that he would have to figure out what she wanted to hear by himself.

"Like, um…well, when she threw you through the door when I told her to make you exit through the door. I didn't actually mean it _that _way." He rolled his eyes. "Sorry about that."

"I've had worse," she replied shortly, shrugging.

"Right." He agreed vaguely, nodding.

"So…I guess if you could still keep her around…" She began nonchalantly, but it was obvious to him that she actually cared about the answer.

"Shego," Drakken leaned forward, frowning at her. "She only worked for me under false pretenses, anyway— she ditched me the second she found out I wasn't who I said I was. I've realized later that I wouldn't have won, because ultimately, she would have found out. I had to trick her to get her to work for me at all. Having a nine foot Amazon alien around might've come in handy, and it was nice to get some actual _support_ for once, but…she still wasn't you."

"Got _that_ right." She said firmly, scoffing. He was amazed to see a tiny grin curling her lips as she ducked her head. That was strange.

"I mean, we have a lot of history together, Shego, and it's just…you know, I'm used to you." He cleared his throat, directing his gaze to his meal, which he'd barely even started on. "You know when to tell me I'm being silly, you don't just follow me blindly, and while the direct approach might be effective sometimes, I think that maybe Warmonga wouldn't have been much good at the subtler things like infiltration and theft and, um…general sneaking about."

"Yeah, 'cause of, you know, the whole thing with the ground_ shaking_ every time she took a step." Shego commented sarcastically, looking slightly smug. He did need her, she thought, smiling inside. She wasn't that easily replaceable, and not just because of her skills. No, because she was…_she_, and that mattered to him, apparently.

She _had_ been jealous in a way, he realized then. She'd come back only to find herself replaced as his right hand woman, and she'd felt threatened. That was why she'd stopped Warmonga in the first place. Slowly, he felt himself able to retrieve the evasive sense of affection and companionship he'd felt for her before the whole thing. She did care, it seemed, and he finally felt himself forgiving her properly.

"Shego—" He began, but she beat him to it.

"Doc?"

"Hmm?"

Glancing at him, she stuck out her hand for him to shake.

He only stared at it, confused.

"Okay?" She asked slightly nervously, and he seemed to understand, then.

"Okay." He agreed, taking her hand and shaking it firmly.

"Okay." She smiled a little before digging into her yoghurt. "So, what's the newest evil plot, Dr. D?"

He grinned suddenly, brightening up at her display of interest. "Well, it's still at the planning stage, mostly, though I have started building some of the components." He gave a secretive, somewhat goofy smirk, "You'll just have to wait and see, won't you?"

Shego found herself smirking back. "Okay, Doc, I'll hold you to that, so it better be good." She challenged playfully.

"Oh, it _will _be," Drakken promised confidently before starting in on his snack again.

Shego glanced at him with a small smile, shaking her head a little as she idly swirled her spoon around in the yoghurt. She should've known he wouldn't give up, even after something like that.

Dr. D never gave up. It was like a law of Nature or something. He never quit.

She should've known.

"Silly me," Shego muttered to herself.

"Hmmph?" Drakken looked up quizzically, his mouth full of carrot.

"Oh, nothing…"

_TBC._

* * *

**Author's note:** I just made that whole Dementor thing up. Why not? I like Dementor, really. It was just for the sake of the story.

**EDIT (14.08.08): **I've also rewritten this chapter slightly to make it in accordance with the rewritten version of the previous chapter.

Thanks again to my wonderful beta, **Zoza**, and also thanks to **Teh Dipstick**, who helped us in our time of need, when all means of communication were down. You can find his D/S fics, _Taking a Break_ and _Jail Break_ in my list of favourites.

**Friendship, Part III** and **Food, Part III, or; Somebody's Jealin' **are obviously set after _Mad Dogs and Aliens_.

* * *


	11. NINE

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Self-esteem, Part III, Morality, Part III and Friendship, Part IV**

* * *

It was his birthday. Not that anyone around here but her would've even noticed. He remembered her birthday, and so she was obligated to remember his. 

It was even in her contract, and one of the things that had tipped her off right away, when she'd started working for Dr. Drakken, that her current employer was going to take a somewhat unorthodox approach to the whole employer-employee relationship.

She'd been right, too; later came karaoke night, bowling night...not to mention all the unwanted confessions upon confessions about his nerdy past.

Apart from her precious days off, his birthday was one of the few days she always circled on her calendar; several times, in big, fat, red marker pen, with a small side note of '_Dr.D's B-Day'_ to go with it.

It looked like a completely ordinary day, though. Usually, he would've made some lame attempt at being celebratory by now, either by wearing a stupid party hat or having cake for breakfast or something equally nauseating, but now he was simply sitting at the breakfast table, doodling something on a napkin as he had his coffee and toast and eggs, so she didn't even say anything when she joined him for breakfast.  
She'd let him set the mood for this one; she had no idea what he had planned for today, so she'd just wait and see what he'd do.

"Morning," he said, never even looking up from his napkin, a deep frown appearing on his face.

He hadn't expected her to be up so early. He'd heard her come in late the night before, or more like early that morning, and he was curious as to what she'd been doing, but knew better than to ask her about what she did on her own, private time.

As she sat down beside him at the kitchen table, there was a small, niggling fear at the base of his spine that she wouldn't congratulate him on his birthday. That she'd forget it even if— so what if she forgot?

He knew he hadn't done anything special for today, so it wouldn't be any wonder if it slipped her mind, but he just hadn't felt up to celebrating. Nevertheless, whether or not he was in a celebratory mood, he needed to hear those words you only got to hear once a year...when it was supposed to be about you for just one moment.

"Morning." She leaned over, surreptitiously checking out whatever it was he was working on; it appeared to be some sort of device that was designed to launch people into the sun. It didn't look like it was going to work, though, and was probably just a childish outlet for frustration, like a kid drawing his teacher getting swallowed up by a giant snake or something.

Drakken frowned even deeper and turned just slightly away so she couldn't see his drawings. They were just idle doodles, anyway, but he didn't want to hear her mocking comments. Not today.

"Did you forget what today is...?" She hinted, as she poured herself a tall glass of orange juice. He didn't look like he was going to say anything about it, and she didn't have much patience, so she might as well begin, after all. Then she might avoid him being sulky all day.

The lines of his face softened slightly then, and she could tell that he was just a little emboldened by the fact that somebody remembered at all, but then the frown was back. "Maybe I should have a party," he said, sounding utterly unconvinced.

Shego sent him an odd look. "No offence, Dr. D, but who would you invite?" His mother had most likely called him to wish him a happy birthday, like she always did, and she'd probably sent him a gift, too, but other than her, who was there?

It wasn't as if Drakken would ever invite any other villains over; sheesh, what a weird party _that _would've been! They would've probably threatened each other with handheld doomsday devices as they fought over who got the last piece of cake or something.

Drakken's face didn't even fall at her comment, however; he just shook his head faintly. "I have no idea," he said, and it made her feel funny; wasn't he supposed to be whining and ranting about it?

"Drakken…" She began reluctantly. She'd gotten the sudden urge to make him feel better— it _was_ his birthday, after all, and even _she_ could manage to stop being derogatory for five seconds on his _birthday;_ he always went out of his way to try to be nice to her on _her_ birthday— but there was no way in hell she'd admit that if she were to throw a party, she wouldn't actually know whom to invite, either.  
When she wasn't busy trying to take over the world, she preferred to spend her time relaxing alone, so she didn't actually have that many friends at all. Good thing for her that she was more of a party _crasher_, really.

He shrugged. "You don't exactly turn evil by being popular and surrounded by close, loyal friends, Shego." He sighed. "There's always a reason." He stared into the middle distance for a while before he suddenly turned to her, actually _looking_ at her for the first time that morning. "What's yours?"

"What's my what?"

"Your reason for being evil?"

She put of a face of false bravado. "Do I need one?"

"Doy." He said simply.

"I _like_ evil." She shrugged. "I like the lifestyle. I like the money. I like the excitement. I like the freedom." She leaned back into her chair. "And being good was getting on my last nerve. I like being the one who _causes_ the destruction instead of being the one who has to clean it up."

He stared at her. He supposed he could understand that— it was why a _lot_ of people were drawn to evil— but he couldn't help but think that it felt a little...shallow. It lacked something. The woman had the ruthless heart and the power that it took to be evil, but she didn't have the lust for vengeance, the bitterness that drove a lot of super villains— himself included— in short, she didn't really have a _reason_, something that ate away at her and sort of..._forced_ her to do these things. She did them for _fun_. She did them because she _could_.

But then again, some of the truly great super villains and villainesses were simply mad; for them, causing havoc and chaos _was_ fun. Maybe Shego didn't even need a reason; maybe that was why she'd tested so much higher than him on that device that tested your badness level at the villain convention.  
She was evil simply for the sake of evil; she didn't have any petty, emotional, human reasons to do what she did. Sure, one of the reasons she'd turned to evil was probably because it was a reaction to her annoying family— and because, like she said, she had been fed up with having to play the hero— but she didn't use that as an excuse, like he did with his past. She didn't have an excuse; she didn't _need_ an excuse.

Maybe that was why, even apart from her super powers, he was just a little intimidated by her.

"So, um..." He steepled his fingers, looking apprehensively at her over the top of them. "No childhood trauma or humiliating incidences in high school or anything, then? Nothing to make you thirst for vengeance?"

She only raised her eyebrows at him, looking un-amused. "I'm _not_ you."

"What about your super powers? They make you feel different and ostracized or...?"

"Look," Shego began impatiently, shifting around slightly in her chair. "I got sick and tired of the super hero business, was fascinated by evil, found that being good just wasn't for me, and then I turned to the other side. End of story."

Drakken shock his head almost imperceptibly as he stared at her, sitting up in his chair, leaning forward. "Shego, being evil isn't just a _fashion choice_— it's a very big decision!"

"Well, doy!"She exclaimed, giving him one of those looks that always told him she thought he was lecturing her on the blatantly obvious. "And I'm happy with the decision I made. What more do you want?"

He gaped at her before sinking back into his chair again. "Nothing."

"Good."She said flatly, and that was the end of that.

"I really thought it would work this time, you know." Drakken said eventually, poking idly at the mostly untouched eggs and toast on his plate with his fork.

"Well, yeah, you _would_."She said, but there was no real malice underneath.

"I mean...we captured the buffoon, I managed to turn on the intercontinental electro-magnetisizer before Kim Possible could stop me, and it was working...and I even got away with getting the government to pay for everything..."

"And yet..." She went on, sighing silently.

"And yet..." Drakken nodded absently. "It's always _one_ little detail, isn't it?"

"Well, maybe if you'd clue me in on your plans _beforehand_, I could've _told _you that you'd have to build the lair to seismic standards..." She pointed out, and watched him cringe.

"I didn't think...I thought I had everything covered!" He sighed explosively. "And...and it was right before my birthday, too! And now it's like there's nothing to celebrate. It's just another day when I...just happen to get older."

Shego groaned inwardly. "Oh, so it's _that_ now?"

"What?"

"Whining about 'getting old'?" She rolled her eyes. "Are you going to complain about crow's feet or gray hairs all _day_?"

A look of panic crossed his features. "_What_? Am I getting gray hairs, too? And crow's feet?" 

Shego gave the same explosive sigh that he'd given just seconds ago. "No, I was just—"

"Get me a mirror!" He ordered, standing up abruptly.

Growling in irritation, Shego pulled him down by his sleeve so he landed on the chair with a thump. "Sit down! If I'm going to have to keep you company today since it's your birthday, I won't have you acting like some sort of faded southern belle or something!"

A wounded look flickered over his face. "Well, if you don't want to be here, you could've just left—"

"Would you just..._stop_? It's too early for this." Shego rubbed her temples in frustration. "Just...drink your coffee or something, okay? And get me some while you're at it," she added, holding out her cup.

He pouted as he poured her some coffee. "I can't help it. When you reach a certain age, you get paranoid about certain things." He made a face. "Ugh. Forty-two. Can't believe I'm already that old."

She shrugged. "You don't look it."

He frowned deeply at her. "Don't humour me."He muttered into his coffee cup.

"Dr. D, when do I _ever_ humour you?"She remarked dryly.

A small twinkle of hope turned up in his eyes; she had a point. "Yeah? How old do you think I look like I am, then?"

She shrugged. "Dunno, thirty-nine, forty?"

His face fell before it tightened with offence. "That's not actually much better, is it?"

"Gah, what do you want me to _say_?"She closed her eyes as if she was getting a headache. "There's no grey hairs or crow's feet, okay? Feel better?"

"Not really."

"Look, Dr. D...it's eight thirty am, and I'm up and sitting here with you, even though I would've_ loved_ to sleep in today. So stop whining and be happy or something, all right?"

"I would if there was something to be happy about..." Drakken replied, sighing as he looked gloomily down at the strange doodle on his napkin. "I thought I'd already be ruling the world by forty-two..."

Shego sighed as well; obviously it wasn't enough that she was there, she apparently needed to do something for him, too. Well, luckily she'd come prepared...

There was silence for a while before he heard the sound of something being pushed across the table at him; when he looked up, he saw that she was offering him a box. Blue, with a red bow.

He looked across the table at her. "What's this?"

She smiled; a quick, zippy kind of smile, there one second and gone the next, as if it was afraid it'd be eaten up by sarcasm if it didn't hurry. "Happy Birthday, Doc."

He just stared at the box in fascination, as if it was some kind of bizarre alien life form or something, and she rolled her eyes at him. "Aren't you gonna open it?"

"Oh. Yes." He cleared his throat, reaching for the present. "Of course!"

She took a sip of her juice as she watched him untie the bow and peel back the wrapping paper. "I'd bake you a cake, but...I don't do cakes." She shrugged, feeling slightly self-conscious at his obvious surprise over the gift. He only shook his head absently, dismissing the lack of cake as he pulled the lid off of the box, looking as if he hadn't expected this much, even.

When he saw what was inside, he was simply quiet for a while before he blurted out a short, kind of flabbergasted laugh. "The cheerleader's hair dryer thing?" His entire face lit up. "You actually _stole_ it?"

She nodded, a smug grin on her face.

"How did you do it?"He asked eagerly, leaning forward.

"Yeah, funny story...I basically just walked into her house. She'd just left it right there on her desk. Kimmie needs to start taking better care of her things." She added, grinning.

"Considering how many villains she deals with on an almost daily basis, you'd think she'd have some sort of security measures set up..." Drakken mumbled, looking at Shego in utter fascination. "But wait— her computer kid, what's-his-name, he's probably got the house under surveillance, right? She could be here any minute!"

"Exactly." There was a certain amount of satisfaction over a job well done in her voice as she went on. "Which is why I've set up a trap for her."

"What? Really?" His eyes were practically sparkling now. He was looking at her as if she was Christmas and New Year's and Halloween and chocolate and everything awesome in the world rolled into one person. "What is it?"He asked excitedly, but then shook his head, grinning gleefully. "No, wait, don't tell me— it'll be a surprise!"

She laughed. "Okay."

He paused suddenly. "But just one thing— do you really think she'll come all the way over here just for _this_?" He asked somewhat doubtfully, brandishing the hair dryer-like grappling gun.

"Nope, I wasn't sure..." Shego said, smirking. "...which was why I also stole _this_!" She declared, holding up something from the bag next to her chair.

"Ugh! A cuddle buddy!" Drakken shuddered with disgust.

Shego laughed; there was a reason why she hadn't wrapped up the stuffed animal as well. Not only did he hate cuddle buddies, but receiving a cute, stuffed animal as a gift from a woman might've...given him the wrong idea. "Right, but it's _Kim Possible's_ cuddle buddy. And I bet she'd do anything to get it back."

"Oh, this is so exciting!" Drakken laughed giddily as her words sunk in. "Come on, we have to— to get ready or something! I bet she's not far from the lair!"

"Happy Birthday, Doc..." Shego repeated to herself, smiling slightly as she watched him bound off to the lab.

Drakken skidded to a halt and sent her a big grin over his shoulder. "Come on, Shego!"

"Coming!" Shego called back, chuckling as she got up to follow him. It never took that much to turn his mood around.

Of course, the grappling gun and the Pandaroo were back in Kim Possible's hands in a matter of only an hour or two, but after all...it was the thought that counted, right?

After Team Possible had gone back home and half his laboratory had been destroyed, Drakken said 'Oh, just leave it!' and took the henchmen and Shego out for ice cream.

* * *

**Security of Resources, Part II**

* * *

He was sitting hunched over a bunch of paperwork, and to her slight surprise, he wasn't wearing his usual lab attire. He was wearing a dark pair of sweats and a red T-shirt; the kind of outfit worn by people who weren't expecting any company. 

When she stepped into his line of sight, he turned his head, looking puzzled. "Shego? What are you doing here on a Saturday?"

She shrugged, feigning carelessness. "I had a date that seriously bombed."

That wasn't any actual valid reason for her to come here since, even if she usually lived at his lairs, she did have her own apartment in this particular city to stay at on weekends, but if he was wondering about her mysterious appearance on such a day, he didn't comment any further on it. Shrugging too, he turned back to his paperwork, and to her own surprise, she found herself getting annoyed. She showed up here to keep him company— okay, to be entertained, but she was _there_, wasn't she?— on a _Saturday night_ no less, and he was _ignoring_ her?

Well, that just wasn't gonna fly with her.

"So, what are _you_ doing here in the lab? No, wait, I forgot— you have no social life." Sauntering over, she leaned casually over his shoulder, resting her elbow there and taking a peek at what he was working at. It looked like a crude doodle of some kind of complicated device for...what was that even _for_?

Next to it laid a huge pile of what looked like the accounts for the fiscal year. It was kind of funny, really, how not even a super villain escaped having to deal with such things. It was obvious to her that the reason he was working on yet another weird device was because he'd given up on the accounts for the time being.

He glared at her. "I'm doing some preparations for Monday, if you must know. After all, the boss often has to work overtime."

She chuckled derisively. "You just keep telling yourself that."

Drakken gave an irritated sigh. "Don't you have anything better to do, like painting your toenails while crying into a bucket of ice cream over your failing love life or something?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, somewhat taken aback. He wasn't usually that mean. "At least I actually _have_ a love life at all, failing or not."

"I don't have time for that!" He barked back, but even _he_ didn't sound very convinced. Even though he'd never admit it, his ego still stung from the 'still can't get a date' comment that James Possible had made this one time...

"Oh, come on." Shego scoffed dismissively. "_Everybody_ has time for_ that_."

He gritted his teeth, glaring at her as he picked up the pile of accounts and shook it at her. "Does it _look_ like I have time?"

She sighed heavily. "Jeez, Dr. D, why don't you just hire an accountant or something?"

He pursed his lips in dissatisfaction. "What kind of an accountant would work for a super villain? It's fine if it's just henchmen, but other than that, it's actually quite hard for me to hire people, Shego! I don't exactly make a positive addition to anybody's resume, do I? 'Last job: Handling the finances of an evil genius who's trying to take over the world'? Does that sound _nice_?"

She gave a lopsided smirk at that. "For enough money, Drakken, you can hire practically anybody."

He let out a loud, exasperated sigh. "But that's just the _problem,_ isn't it? Does it _look_ like I'm on top of my income?" He asked, thrusting the stack of paper at her.

She took it with an apprehensive glance at him before she looked at the first page. There was quite a few..._red _numbers. She began to frown deeply. "I really hope this doesn't mean I'll be expecting a cut in my pay check."

He groaned as he dragged his hands down his face, looking tortured. "It's _just _like you to think like that! We all have to make sacrifices, Shego!"

Her eyes widened as she shook her head in disbelief. "Whoa! Hey! _Sacrifices_?"

He snatched the stack of accounts back from her in a huff, slapping them onto his work top as he stood up. "If you want more money, go out and steal some. Make yourself useful."

"But—"She stared after him as he walked away, practically fuming. He probably didn't have much financial sense, she figured, or he wouldn't be this distraught.

It was no wonder he was upset nowadays, either, as the Gourmet Cupcake business had caused them to really rake in the cash, but then they'd lost it all just as easily. They hadn't had much money beforehand, and now they had suffered another major setback. Sighing, she idly leafed through the accounts, wincing at what she saw.

She'd always known super weapons were expensive, but this was just _insane_. Usually they just stole stuff, but they weren't always in a position where they could do that. When she came to the last pages, concerning their salaries, she expected hers to be much higher than the henchmen's, and it was— much, much higher— but what she hadn't expected was that it was also much higher than what Drakken paid himself.

She really hadn't expected that at all.

She didn't like it, but it actually caused her pause, caused her to swallow around a small lump that was forming in her throat. She didn't like that _at all_.

But it did kind of make sense, didn't it? He never went on expensive vacations like she did, he always lived at the lair while she had a myriad of stand-by apartments spread across the globe, and she'd never seen him buy anything particular for himself like fancy clothes or any other goods that didn't have anything to do with his constant project of World Domination. He always spent all his funds on The Cause.

And on her, apparently.

He thought she would leave if he didn't keep throwing money at her, didn't he? Well, maybe she would, but—

But for crying out loud, why did she have to _see_ this? She _hated_ it when stuff like this happened. It caused her to turn all prickly and gooey inside and she didn't know what to do with herself. It was annoying, like she had an itch _inside_ her body that she couldn't scratch, couldn't get to. It felt like part guilt, part anger, part fondness, part sadness, part affection, part regret and a whole lot of frustration— and many other irritating emotions.

She felt _moved_ by this gesture, and she didn't like it. And he'd never told her, either, that big, blue, stupid—

"Argh!" She slapped the stack of accounts down on the counter again, much like he had done only minutes ago, and clenched her fists. Good grief, he was just so damn—

Her fists unclenched as she let out a long breath.

Who was she kidding? She would stay even if her pay check was cut, she knew that. After all, it wasn't as if it was the first time it had happened, and she did have plenty of her own money stowed away for just such an occasion, and the thing was that, no matter how annoying it was, she would stay because she liked it here.

She liked the stupid super weapons and all the other cool stuff and she liked the excitement and the fighting and the ridiculously cavernous lairs and she liked the paid vacations and she liked bothering the life out of her boss and she— she cared.

She didn't like him all that much, and she was pretty sure he didn't like her all that much either— or maybe she did, and maybe he did; it was really hard to tell, sometimes— but she cared. And he cared. Probably more than a boss should. Then again, he wasn't just her boss— they were partners, no matter how many times she was referred to as the lowly sidekick.

Shego sighed again as she heard a loud curse and then some angry muttering coming from the kitchen, and decided to go talk to him.

* * *

**Intimacy, Part II, or; The Concept Slowly Starts Forming **

* * *

Drakken sent Shego a frustrated glance as she appeared in the kitchen doorway. "What do you want? Come to threaten me for more money?" He sneered as he poured hot water into a mug. 

Instead of getting angry, though, she only smirked at that and shook her head, and his puzzled gaze followed her as she crossed the kitchen floor. "I came to make some popcorn." She said, opening a kitchen cabinet.

"We have popcorn?" He asked, slightly surprised. He couldn't remember buying any, and he was usually the one who ate it, anyway.

"Bought some yesterday." She said lightly, but paused in front of the microwave. "You haven't been heating any more experiments in here after you had it cleaned when that weird purple, bubbly thing exploded last week, have you?" She asked suspiciously.

He jutted out his lower lip in a pout at her lack of faith in him. "No." He said sulkily as he dipped a tea bag into his mug.

"Good," she said dryly before throwing a popcorn bag into the microwave and setting the time.

There was silence except the low hum of the microwave and the occasional soft pop of the corn reacting to the heat waves, during which Drakken noticed what she was wearing for the first time that evening. Sure, he'd seen it in some vague kind of way, but his mind hadn't really registered it yet. She was wearing black jeans and a form-fitting, long-sleeved, deep green sweater with a somewhat lower neckline than he was used to seeing her in. She looked...nice. She was even wearing somewhat less subtle make-up than usual and a small necklace that, knowing her tastes, was probably quite expensive.

Suddenly, he felt quite underdressed in his sweats and T-shirt...and then he immediately scolded himself for even thinking it. He was in his own home, it was late, and she was the one who'd suddenly appeared without warning, all dressed up. He had nothing to feel self-conscious about at all—

"Wanna watch some TV?" She blurted out suddenly.

"Huh?" He blinked at her, yanked out of his thoughts.

"I mean, you're not gonna get any further with those accounts tonight, right?" She pointed out, tossing her hair just a little and tilting her hip. "So you might as well just relax."

He peered at her a bit distrustfully. "I suppose so."

More silence.

Drakken's teeth worried at the inside of his cheek as he frowned at her. She was acting almost..._nice_, and he had no idea why that was. It was making him quite uneasy. But then again, he supposed he shouldn't be looking a gift horse in the mouth. After all, this might be the only time this millennium— not counting his birthdays— where she actually _was_ this nice.

"Um...you want some tea, too? It's uh, herbal. It won't keep you up."

There was almost something like a smile on her face when she answered. "Sure."

* * *

"Telemundo_ soap operas_?" 

They'd arranged themselves in front of the TV with popcorn and tea, and now he was being exasperated over her program of choice.

"Yeah, so?" Shego gave him a look.

"With _no_ subtitles?"Drakken asked disbelievingly.

She shrugged, yawning a little. "Who cares? It's late, anyway, I just wanna veg out for a while before I go to bed."

"Nnnghh." He grunted in defeat. "Fine, whatever."

"Good."She said, nodding in brief content at the tiny victory.

They watched the unfolding Spanish drama in relative silence. Apparently, a beautiful woman named Maria was cheating on her husband Juanito with his best friend, Fernando, from what Drakken was able to gather.

"I thought soap operas were only on during the day." He complained.

"Apparently not the reruns." She said, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"Apparently not," he groaned.

He twitched with shock when her head suddenly fell heavily on his shoulder.

"Don't you ever get tired of spending Saturday nights alone in the lab, Dr. D?"She asked casually, her gaze still directed at the screen.

"World domination doesn't plan itself, Shego," He said, his voice involuntarily going a bit hoarser than usual as she shifted a little and her hair tickled the side of his face, her cheek warm on his shoulder through the thin fabric of his cotton T-shirt.

"No, suppose not," she sighed, sagging further against him and wondering why he hadn't tried to worm himself out of her close proximity yet.

She sighed again; for a big, blue geek, he was really very comfy. And warm. He hadn't quite been able to get rid of all the cupcake-induced extra padding he'd acquired after the Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes catastrophe yet, either, so even if he was almost back to his old trim self, there were still a couple of excess pounds left which, while nothing very noticeable, made him...just a little softer.

There was a pause as they simply watched the TV for a while.

"Your hair is in my face," he said eventually, obviously trying to put an irritated point to a sentence that came out sounding more like a croak.

She only gave a soft grunt in reply and hardly moved at all as she flipped her long hair over her left shoulder so it was out of his face. If he'd thought she'd get embarrassed and move off of him entirely, he was way wrong; she wasn't some jittery little teenager.

Drakken frowned in frustration; she apparently hadn't taken the hint. Or most likely, she _had_ taken the hint and was just doing this to annoy him. She had obviously chosen to use him as a human-sized arm rest or a pillow, and didn't give a damn if she had his consent or not; he might as well just _be_ a piece of furniture, for all she cared. But at least she'd removed her itchy hair from under his nose.

Shego let out a comfortable-sounding little sigh then and lazily reached for the bowl of popcorn as she let her weight fully rest against his side. She wasn't very heavy, but she was as limp as a sack of potatoes against him, and it was all getting a bit too intimate for him; her breath, her weight, her firm softness and the warmth of her body lounging more and more comfortably on him, as if he was just some sort of deck chair and not a living person.

She was obviously just trying to freak him out. Either that, or he was so beneath her standards that she didn't even consider him a man, and didn't even realize that what she was doing might be making him uncomfortable.

"You're pretty comfy, Doc," she said pleasantly as she loudly munched popcorn beside him.

That did it; she was _obviously _just trying to freak him out. "Well, you're _not comfy_," he retorted irritably, pushing a little at her arm, "and stop making those annoying popcorn noises!"

She wasn't budging at all; sure, she wasn't very heavy, but she was very strong, and if she didn't want to be moved, the likes of _him_ certainly wasn't going to be able to do it.

Drakken gave her a long look. "You know, I think I'm beginning to understand why you're always giving me a hard time."

Shego nodded. "It's because it's _so_ much fun." She said matter-of-factly.

"As I feared." Drakken sighed, gazing helplessly up into the ceiling, as if pleading for some sort of divine intervention. Shego kind of doubted there was such a thing as a Guardian Deity of Employers Being Mocked Mercilessly by Their Employees.

"Call it a perk that comes with the job." Shego shrugged again. "After all, there's gotta be _some_ sort of upside to all this."

"And your shamelessly large pay check_ isn't_ an upside?"

"The size of my so-called 'shamelessly large pay check' keeps on changing according to how lucky we are, Chief," She reminded him. "And I need to keep myself amused _somehow_." Grinning cheekily, she crunched a mouthful of popcorn_ right_ next to his ear.

"Argh!" He bellowed in exasperation, gripping his head and gritting his teeth. "Stop that! You're violating my personal bubble!" Again, he went at trying to push her off the couch, or at least off of _him_. "Is it any wonder I spend my Saturday nights alone? You're so _annoying_!"

"Thanks," she said, sounding smug. "I do try my best."

When he realized again that she wasn't going anywhere, he sagged helplessly back into the couch, and she moulded herself even more disrespectfully close to him, chuckling with evil amusement.

"I'll get you back for this psychological torture when you least expect it," he muttered darkly, but she only laughed.

They watched the boring show for a bit longer.

"My arm is falling asleep," he said meaningfully after a while, but he sounded more resigned than anything. She was annoying, but truth be told, she was the only other provider of friendly physical contact in his life except for his mother, even if what Shego was doing right then couldn't exactly be labelled as friendly; it was an odd, roundabout kind of bullying, that's what it was. She knew he couldn't do anything about it, and so she'd decided to keep herself amused by bothering him because the show was boring and she'd just had a bad date. It was selfish and inconsiderate.

_So_ like her.

Okay, so he knew he hadn't exactly been Miss Congeniality lately, either— he'd been grouchy, he'd yelled more than usual and he'd probably bossed her around more and been a lot less considerate and more preoccupied than usual— but she didn't have to pay him back like _this_, did she?

Anyway, it was perfectly understandable that he'd been acting like that. He'd had to struggle to get enough money for his next scheme, he'd had trouble even _coming up_ _with _said scheme in the first place, and on top of everything, he'd put on weight from those stupid cupcakes! He'd only been able to fit into his lab coat again yesterday, and he'd been feeling cranky and self-conscious for the two weeks before that.

He knew he wasn't exactly super model material usually, either, but the way Shego— who was all about staying in shape and eating healthy— had been looking at him and shaking her head had made him get a grip, stop eating the cupcakes and start working out again a lot faster than what he might've done if she hadn't been around.

Normally, he never really felt self-aware when it came to his appearance around her--- after all, she'd seen him in all kinds of unattractive situations already, like with his face all covered in soot and half his hair burned off— but lately, he had been.

"Good grief, you're spiteful." He told her, his voice broadcasting sulky defeat. "If you were a cat, you'd be one of those cats that rub themselves all over people who are allergic to cats, just to be rotten."

"Newsflash, Doc— I'm evil." Shego retorted flatly as she shifted around again, looping her arm into his for support as she stretched out her legs. With a glance, he saw that she was now lying almost fully stretched out on the couch, and leaning more heavily on his arm than ever, her expression and body language radiating pure lethargy.

Then she _yawned_.

"Are you intending to go to _sleep _here?" He asked, peering distrustfully at her.

"Maybe." She said neutrally, but sounding strangely menacing to his ears. "The show's boring, anyway."

"Wouldn't it be better if you went home?" He prompted, his voice starting to sound a little strained.

"What, and leave you all _alone_?" She asked, with a false, saccharine sweetness. She had no intentions of falling asleep, but it was always fun to make him nervous.

He started to slowly break into a cold sweat. "I'll give you a small raise." He suggested, sounding just slightly desperate.

"You don't want me here?" She gasped in mock outrage. "I'm hurt, Chief."

"A large raise, then," he said, and she opened her mouth to answer, but shut it as she considered the situation. Staying here would be entertaining, and admittedly even a little…nice, for such a lonely Saturday night, curling up with someone she knew, someone who wouldn't try anything, someone who she could almost even trust, even if he was getting uncomfortable and confused by her actions…but then again, a raise sounded _very_ nice…!

"Okay!" She said cheerfully, springing up from the couch. "I'll go home if I get a raise!"

He gaped at her for a moment before his brow lowered dangerously. "I knew you were just doing this for a raise or something!" He blurted, and she frowned as she thought she could hear something akin to hurt in his voice. "Well, you can forget about it!" He snapped, stalking off; to his private quarters, she presumed.

For a second or two, she almost considered following him, but hanging all over him on the living room couch and hanging all over him in his own bedroom were two _very_ different things, even if she didn't mean anything by it but wanting to annoy the tar out of him while she got a comfy seat out of it all...right? She hadn't meant— had she?

She stared after him even when he was out of sight. She'd just gone a _little_ too far, apparently. Again.

_What's __**wrong **__with me?_ She wondered as she padded slowly to the front door, slipping on her shoes and grabbing her bag. She didn't think it'd be a good idea to stay there tonight.

* * *

Drakken slammed the door behind him, practically panting with outrage. He should've known! 

He _had_ known, really— and yet he felt some definite sense of betrayal.

He huffed and cursed as he shed his clothes and pulled on his pajamas, and he glared at himself in the mirror of his private bathroom as he brushed his teeth.

Stopping in front of his large, round bed, his hand went up to his arm out of its own volition, absent-mindedly rubbing the spot where Shego had been leaning. It was almost as if she'd been putting her weight there for so long that the surface had gone numb. As if she'd branded him.

Drakken stared. The big, round bed really was rather...big. Now, as he looked at it for the first time, _really_ looked at it, instead of just collapsing on it after a long, long night, he could see it. It wasn't a bed that was meant for just one person. Hell, it could probably fit at least three or even four people. He really didn't need all that space by himself, he thought suddenly.

He'd never thought that before. He'd just thought it looked cool.

Massive. Regal. Befitting the future ruler of the Earth.

Now he just thought it looked...lonely. Like a lot of wasted space.

Drakken grunted angrily as he realized he was still rubbing his arm and gawking at his own bed as if he'd never seen it before, and immediately stopped it. Why was he feeling like this when he'd very clearly been bothered by her wriggling against him carelessly, bullying him into giving her a raise— why did his room feel emptier and colder than usual?

It couldn't be because he wanted— because that would be pathetic. Just because she'd done that? Was he really that starved for affection?

And she was his employee, and it was just not done. He'd frown upon it if she'd ever start flirting with any of his employees, because office romances were nothing but stumbling blocks on the road to global domination— not that she'd ever be interested in any of his henchmen, the louts, he thought quickly— so he couldn't very well ignore his own principles on the matter by doing it himself, could he?

Besides, even thinking the word 'romance' in the same context as the word 'Shego' was all kinds of wrong. And especially if it was in relation to himself.

Drakken muttered to himself in annoyance as he climbed into bed and turned off the bedside lamp.

Shego was just Shego. She was just his sidekick and his assistant and occasionally maybe even something resembling his friend, but she wasn't— Shego was Shego, she wasn't...a woman. Shego was Shego first and a woman second.

She'd only done what she'd done as some sort of new, complicated way of ticking him off. She'd probably grown tired of the same nitpicking of his grammar mistakes and sarcastic jokes about the failure of his plans— which were all unfair since she mostly played quite a sizable part in bungling them up, anyway— and had decided to try a new approach to her favourite game, Drive Drakken Crazy.

Shego got bored easily, and that was all there was to it.

And she'd go to all sorts of length to remedy her boredom, even cuddle up to her lonely boss just to freak him out and watch the ensuing hilarity.

Yeah.

That was it.

Drakken sighed as he rolled over on his side, squeezing his teddy bear to his chest as he stared into the empty darkness of his room.

* * *

She'd always been prone to anger, but other than that, she kept her emotions under check. Anger was acceptable because it made her look intimidating, but she couldn't be an evil villainess and go around acting all emotional all the time; apart from her special powers, there was a reason why people still respected her while they often didn't respect Drakken. 

She was also used to being sarcastic, blasé, unaffected, laidback, in control...

Now, her emotional indifference was slowly eroding.

As she lay alone in her bed that night, she found herself curling up around her pillow, clutching it to her cheek like some huge stuffed toy animal, and it was with great embarrassment that she realized what she was doing and that she realized why she'd really been so clingy with Drakken. Sure, bothering him had been fun, but the physical contact had fulfilled a need in her that she hadn't quite been aware that she had.

So far, sex and fighting had been all the physical outlet she'd required, but even she had to admit that she probably touched Drakken a lot more than she should in any case, and this time she'd crossed some sort of invisible line that she probably shouldn't have crossed.

She was alone in her bed, and as much as it pained her to admit it, what she wanted right then was someone to cuddle with...and unfortunately, after the events of the evening, Drakken presented himself as her first and best option in her mind. She tried shaking the thought off, but couldn't. She'd become so pleasantly sleepy tonight, sitting with him and leaning on his big, comfortable body, but now she suddenly felt wide awake.

Sleeping wasn't an easy task that night, and she was glad that the next morning was a Sunday morning.

The following Monday morning, Shego went out hunting for an accountant who was willing to work for an evil genius, and finally found one Thomas Perkins, Hank Perkins' older brother.

The look of pleased surprise on Drakken's face, caused by the fact that she'd actually shown some initiative and done something without him ordering her to, more than made up for the unpleasantness on Saturday.

He immediately put Perkins to work on the accounts, looking relieved for the first time in a couple of weeks. Shego could practically sense the stress melting out of him as he saw that he could leave the tiresome work to someone else and could get back to doing something simpler like, say, attempting to take over the world.

By the end of the day, everything was more or less back to normal between them.

More or less.

* * *

_TBC. _

**Author's note:** I'm simply assuming they're supposed to remember each other's birthdays because of Drakken's comment about forgetting Shego's birthdayin _Emotion Sickness. _

The 'Spanish drama' is taken from a parody of Telemundo soap operas by Pablo Francisco, right down to the names and the story.

After an online chat with Steve Loter, KP's director, I'm changing Shego's age from twenty-nine to twenty-seven.

Thanks again to my generous beta, Zoza, who cheered me up with her funny comments, helped me a bit with correcting my sentence structure in some parts, and also had other useful inputs.

**Self-esteem, Part III, Morality, Part III and Friendship, Part IV** is set a couple of days after _Clothes Minded_, and **Security of Resources, Part II** and **Intimacy, Part II, or; The Concept Slowly Starts Forming **is set a few weeks after _Odds Man In_.

* * *


	12. TEN

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go. **

* * *

Security of Body, Part III

* * *

**

Drakken looked up at her from where he sat on the cold ground, rubbing his forehead. "Gee, Shego, thanks for taking off with the helicopter and leaving me on a train that was about to explode."

One mildly offended eyebrow arched. "_Excuse_ me? How about—gee, Drakken, thank you for being so absent-minded that you put my life in danger because you forgot to fake the explosion and created a _real_ disaster instead? How about— gee, Drakken, thanks for not having the common sense to follow me when I left?"

"Oh, don't even try." Drakken warned her grumpily. "You could've waited."

"It's not as if I _ran_ out, was it?" Shego remarked with a tilt of her chin. "You had plenty of time to follow, you were just too stubborn to give up on your plan even after it had obviously failed."

"Hah!"He dismissed her with a sneer. "If you knew I wasn't going to follow you, you should've tried harder to talk me into it, if you were so concerned."

"Hey, if you wanted to get blown up, that's your problem," she shrugged. "Don't blame it on me, you could've followed. Besides," She added, smirking. "I came back, didn't I?"

He grunted irritably, rolling his eyes. "Yes, you came back."

"Considering I could've been having a hot cup of tea at the lair right now instead of shooting the breeze with you out here in the freezing cold and snow, that ought to earn me a few brownie points, right?" She grinned as she bent down and looped her arm through his, pulling him to his feet carefully as he looked rather out of it.

"Yes, you're a real humanitarian," Drakken muttered as he clutched his head and struggled to his feet, grateful for her help but not wanting to acknowledge it.

"You hit your head or something, Doc?"She asked, noticing that his knees were shaking a bit as he tried to keep steady on his feet.

"Oh, no, not at all," he said sarcastically, wincing as he touched his brow. "It was only a train going at full speed smacking me right into the roof of a tunnel."

She laughed incredulously at that. "Whoa! You're really a resilient little guy, aren't you?"

Drakken's lips tightened as he fought to stay on his feet. She was _laughing_ at a time like this? Wasn't that just so like— well, he could stand on his own, thank you very much!

He scowled at her, trying to tug his arm away from her huffily, but she tugged him back sharply so he almost overbalanced, falling against her side.

It had been far too easy to make him stumble, and she suddenly realized he was doing worse than he'd tried to make it look, probably because of his pride and her mocking. Shaking her head, she propped him up against herself, pulling his arm over her shoulders and slipping her own arm around his back for support. He seemed so woozy all of a sudden that he didn't even try resisting.

"Don't make this so difficult," she scolded. "If you fall over again, I'm not gonna bother picking you up, so you just stay in place, okay?" In truth, she'd keep on picking him up until she got him home, but he didn't have to know that.

"Don't need any help," he muttered, but his voice sounded a little fainter now, and his head sagged a little, his chin almost touching his collarbone.

"Well, you don't need to be lying unconscious in the snow, either, now do you?" She said sharply, frowning at him.

Drakken glared at her, but she could tell his heart wasn't in it. "Just tell me there's some painkillers in the medical kit in the helicopter, and I'll follow." He said eventually, groaning.

She chuckled softly, hoisting his tired body up a little, shifting to get a better grip on him. "Come on, Dr. D."

On the ride home, she kept him annoyed enough to stay awake until she could figure out if he'd hit his head so badly it would be dangerous for him to fall asleep. Luckily, the doctor she kidnapped on the way home told her there was nothing to worry about.

Drakken really _was_ very resilient.

If he had any objections to the fact that she reached over almost nonchalantly once during the helicopter ride to touch his forehead experimentally to see how he was doing, he didn't say anything.

_She did come back_, Drakken thought that night, as he lay tucked under his comforter with a bandage on his head, about to fall asleep. _Shego __did co__me back__ this time._

And he smiled, just a little.

* * *

**Food, Part I****V**

* * *

He'd made another partner. Again. Another sidekick. Again. 

Okay, so she'd worked with other people, but that was just…different.

She was a mercenary, basically. She went where the money was, and the Seniors had plenty of that.

But him…wasn't he supposed to be…wasn't he supposed to be all sensitive or something?

Hah! Well, apparently he was only sensitive when it came to himself.

He didn't even invite her along for the brunch! As if _she_ didn't get hungry?

She hadn't had her breakfast yet, either, but did it ever occur to him to _ask_?

No, he'd just walked off without as much as even a 'see you later', the rude, ungrateful little—

She'd saved this life when that Lucre idiot had almost accidentally killed him with his own security system, for crying out loud!

Bonehead.

"_I'm_ hungry," she muttered angrily to herself as she stomped off to the kitchen, tearing through kitchen cabinets to find something edible. She'd never been much of a cook, either, so she would have really loved to go out to eat— "_I _want a stupid brunch! I want a nice sandwich, maybe some honey melon slices— no, I want some Thai food—"

She _could_ go out, but was she supposed to just sit there alone and eat like some kind of loser?

"JERK!" She exclaimed. She couldn't find anything but a half-empty bag of muesli and some shriveled old fruit, and cursed as she remembered why they hadn't had any breakfast to begin with that day. They hadn't gone shopping yet, and their kitchen was basically empty.

As she grabbed her car keys to go out and get herself some unhealthy take-out just _because, _she paused at the door as it suddenly occurred to her to wonder if maybe he wasn't being all passive-aggressive towards her, unconsciously repaying her for abandoning him—

No, they were over that.

No, he was probably just being all scatterbrained as usual— he'd probably just been distracted by Lucre and his ideas for a new scheme.

_Still…h__e could've at least said 'bye, Shego'_, she thought defiantly, biting her lip worriedly as she left the lair.

* * *

"Now let me get his straight," Drakken said slowly, barely holding down a hysterical giggle. "You, Frugal Lucre, have just shared a cell with _Motor Ed_?" 

Lucre nodded solemnly. "Yes!" He exclaimed exasperatedly. "And he was _so_ _annoying_! In fact, I have never met anyone more annoying in my_ life_, I—"Lucre paused, tilting his head curiously at Drakken. "Why, do you know him or something?"

Drakken barked out a short, half-squelched laugh. "_Know_ him? He's my _cousin_!"

Lucre's eyes widened at that, and he put his hands up apologetically. "Oh! Oh, I'm _so_ sorry, I didn't mean to insult your _family_—"

"Don't be, don't be," Drakken only laughed as he waved off the apologies. "Hah!" He exclaimed with triumphant happiness, punching the air. "There really _is_ such a thing as karma!" Not only had his cousin, who'd left him in prison, now been imprisoned _himself_, but Lucre, who'd annoyed the life out of Drakken in jail, had gotten a taste of the annoyance factor! Talk about killing two birds with one stone!

"What?" Lucre asked, lifting one of his thick eyebrows.

"Nothing, nothing," Drakken chuckled. "More coffee?"

"Please. " Lucre nodded, holding out his cup. "Hey, do you think maybe we should've brought your nice green lady friend with us to brunch?" He added, frowning, as if the thought had just occurred to him.

Drakken shook his head, waving the coffee pot slightly in dismissal. "Nah, she's not the sociable type."

"Oh, all right, in that case…" Lucre agreed, smiling as Drakken poured him some coffee.

Putting down the coffee pot again, Drakken took a bite out of his lunch before grinning. "You know, Lucre, you're okay."He said, and found that he meant it. Lucre's annoyance factor seemed to be toned down a little when he wasn't confined with the man in a tiny room twenty-four hours a day.

Besides, it seemed that Lucre had potential to be, if not an actual super villain himself—he didn't have an interesting gimmick, he had no real reason or motivation for being a villain, he had no resources, he wasn't rich, a genius or deadly, and he didn't look intimidating at all— a rather useful co-plotter. He seemed to have a knack for coming up with plans that weren't overly complicated, weren't difficult to enforce and not to mention plans that weren't that costly…and 'simple and cost-efficient' sounded rather good to Drakken right about then.

Of course, it did also help that Lucre seemed to have an endless supply of well-deserved praise for Drakken's genius, unlike _some_ people…!

Deep down, though, if not quite aware of it, he wondered if Lucre would also manage to be critical of him when it was needed…

* * *

**Respect, Part III**

* * *

"Shego!" 

She hadn't run off, she'd just walked off in a haughty, offended way, and he caught up with her right outside Martin Smarty's office.

He leapt forward and grabbed her arm. "Shego!"He called again, making her turn around for a split second only to glare at him. "Shego, you can't just _leave_..!"

She spun around again, shaking off his arm and stomping away. "Oh, I _can't_? _Watch_ me!"

He hurried after her. "Shego, I need you! We need to get the Ultimate Remote Control back!"

"Oh, really? I was never more than a distraction in this plan, and guess what— my job here is done!" She snarled, only briefly turning her head to look at him.

"Be reasonable, Shego," he tried, appealing to her even as she left, "you can't walk out on me in the middle of a plan AGAIN!"

"Why would you want me around, anyway? I just messed up your plan, didn't I?"She snapped. "And next time, _you_ can wear the stupid wig!"She threw over her shoulder at him before she rounded a corner and was gone, fuming.

Drakken blinked after her. Apparently, she'd been more offended by his comment that everything was her fault than he'd thought. And he'd been so sure he'd manage to talk her into staying and helping him out. Maybe he shouldn't have yelled at her like that for making him drop the URC...because it wasn't as if she'd done it on purpose...

Now, like the last time, it seemed as if he would have to make do by himself. Drakken groaned. He hated having to go all Action Man. Shego usually did all that stuff. Still, he'd managed to hold his own against Kim Possible before...if only it hadn't been for that knockout by the train tunnel roof...

"Women, huh?"Lucre said sympathetically as he walked up to Drakken, nudging him in the ribs.

Drakken blinked again, briefly disoriented. Oh, right. He wasn't alone. He still had his...protégé, for lack of a better word. Maybe he could be of some use?

"Yes, um...women."Drakken agreed vaguely, nodding. It wasn't 'women', though, he thought to himself, it was one woman in particular. It was Shego. She was always so...difficult to figure out. What had set her off this time? It couldn't just have been that one comment, could it?

"So, I guess we're on our own, partner!"Lucre enthused, grinning. "It'll be so exciting! Kinda like a guys' night out!"

Drakken stared at Lucre and somehow had real difficulty imagining him on a guys' night out. He'd kill the mood after the first half an hour by trying to worm himself out of paying for a round of drinks for everybody, for certain.

"We need to get decked out," Lucre went on. "Come on, I know where they keep everything around here!"

Well, at least the guy had a good first hand knowledge of the building they were in, Drakken thought, as he ran after Lucre.

"Oooh, chilli beans are on sale for 50 cents!"

Now if only he could keep Lucre from getting distracted by every bargain offer from here to the next workable weapon...

* * *

**Family, Part II**

* * *

Drakken was quite impressed, really. Shego had actually rescued him before he'd even made it to prison. She'd just swooped down in the hover craft, stuck a small explosive device on the jail wall and helped him escape through the resulting hole. She'd even busted out Frugal Lucre, as they'd been sharing a jail cell. 

He hadn't expected that, and especially not after she'd stormed off like that.

Apparently, she wasn't going to keep leaving him in prison anymore, and that felt rather…reassuring.

She was quiet when they came back home, and she headed straight for the kitchen without a word.

Sighing with the relief of not having to go to prison this time, Drakken followed.

Shego took her sweet time figuring out what to have for supper, lingering over what to drink and staring blankly at the groceries they'd picked up on the way home after they'd put quite a lot of miles between them and the police, lost in thought and seemingly not even noticing that Drakken was there as he bustled around the kitchen for a couple of minutes, quickly deciding what to eat. When she finally went into the pseudo-living room of the lair, carrying a tray of nothing but a glass of milk, a banana and some crackers— for some reason, her appetite had dwindled suddenly— Drakken had already eaten most of his meal.

He was sitting in a relaxed pose on the couch, still wearing his lab coat, but he'd removed his gloves, and had loosened the somewhat tight collar. At a glance, he seemed to be wearing a plain, black T-shirt underneath. As she sat down next to him, she was silent as she ate some of the crackers, absent-mindedly watching him channel surf idly, and hearing him groan softly occasionally; he looked about as tired as she felt.

"So…"She began eventually. "What happened to your little friend?"

Drakken gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I think he's just going to go home to his mother again or something, who knows? It didn't work out."

"No! Really?"Shego gave a little mock gasp, covering her mouth with her hand like a classic film diva.

Drakken scowled at her before sighing, leaning back on the couch. "Can you imagine?" He said absently to the air, or maybe to her. "Living with his mother at his age? I think I would've gone insane."

Putting her plate away and kicking off her uncomfortable pumps, Shego pulled up her legs so she could rub her aching feet. "Don't you mean," she began, pausing to groan and flinch slightly as she worked out a kink in her toes, "Don't you mean _more_ insane?"

Drakken brow rose. "Not your best, Shego." He remarked dryly before he looked her over, suddenly curious. "Why are you still wearing that dress, and where have you been, anyway?"

"I've been to a little place called None of Your Business." Shego replied casually, plucking the remote control out of his unresisting fingers.

"What have I said about keeping secrets, Shego?"Drakken pouted for a second, but his expression quickly turned serious. "I don't like it when you don't tell me things."

She shrugged as she flipped from channel to channel. "There are a lot of things I don't tell you."

He frowned. "Like what?"

"Like you'll never know what, that's what."She continued in the same casual tone of voice, yawning a little.

He tried burning a hole in her face with a death glare for a moment before relenting. "Fine. I guess you have your private life, too."

"Too?" She quirked an eyebrow. "I really doubt you'd have anything I'd be dying to know."

"Oh, I might just have a secret or two…" Drakken said enigmatically, but it only made her laugh.

"Nice try, Doc," she shook her head, smirking overbearingly. "Is this water?" She added, then, pointing to his glass.

"Yes." When he nodded, she leaned forward and snatched the glass, taking a deep drink.

"I didn't say you could _have_ any!" He snapped, scowling at her.

She shrugged, a hint of a smirk in the corner of her mouth. "I didn't _ask_."

Drakken subjected her to the evil eye for a while until she handed him back the glass, which he practically yanked out of her hand. Looking down, he found that she'd left a black lipstick mark on the rim of it, and it made him feel funny. It felt a bit too…_intimate_ for his liking, and so he turned the glass and drank from the other side of it when he took a swig. She didn't seem to notice.

What was she doing smearing her lipstick all over his things, anyway, he wondered, shifting slightly uncomfortably as his gaze travelled unbidden up to her dark lips. The lipstick marks reminded him of a certain incident the year before that he didn't need being reminded of.

"You know," He began, almost as if just to have some other thought to concentrate on, "I was surprised that you came after me so soon."

"Snap decision." She shrugged, flinching slightly at a sudden pain in her foot. "That Smarty guy told me you were busted."

Drakken gave her a bewildered look. "_M__artin __Smarty_? What were you doing with him?"

Hearing that bit of news felt…strange. Like a small stone had been dropped into the pit of his stomach. It felt kind of like whenever he'd be envious of some new invention of Dementor's, or whenever he used to feel some form of paranoia in high school that he was missing some major point or something, that he was out of the loop, only not— only different, stronger. What was she…? Why was she— and after the plan had gone south? What reason could she have had to—

Shego paused; she'd been momentarily distracted by her feet and had barely even noticed that she'd revealed to him what she'd already decided not to tell him. "Uh…I went over to his place." She explained reluctantly. "Later on, you know. The guy was putty in my hands, so I figured maybe I could con a few bucks out of him."

Drakken realized he'd actually been holding his breath. He let it out quietly, leaning forward. "And did you?"

Something awkward flitted across her face before she shrugged again. "Nah, turned out he had a bratty kid, so I just got out of there. You can't really con a guy with his kid watching."

Drakken gave her a stare that went on just long enough to make her slightly uncomfortable. She could practically _hear_ the mental gears turning behind his eyes as he tried figuring her out, but suddenly he seemed to decide just to drop the search. "Well, good thing you went over there so you got to hear that I'd been captured."

"Right," she agreed, and there was an almost grateful sigh in her voice.

"Thanks, anyway," Drakken nodded at her, and she grinned fleetingly. Yeah, he'd better be grateful; she'd even risked total awkwardness for him by doubling back after rejecting Smarty just to ask him about what happened to her 'accomplices', determined to not leave her blue boss hanging again. It'd been far too emotionally trying the last time, and she didn't want to have to go through it again.

"Ugh," Shego groaned slightly as she pinched a spot on her foot too hard. She _never _wore heels, and there was a _reason_ for that. "This is all your fault, you know, making me wear this _stupid_ outfit…!"She muttered.

Drakken looked at her for a second or two before he suddenly grabbed her foot right out of her palm, resting her heel on his knee. "You're doing it _all_ _wrong_," He scolded her mildly, glancing at her to find that her face bore a completely stricken look. Then her features shifted to pure annoyance, and for a second it looked like she was considering kicking him in the face for his insolence.

There was a short, hesitant pause, though, and he took advantage of this pause to go into the correct order of a good foot massage, beginning by stroking the top of her foot.

"What are you _doing_—"She yelped, but then her expression melted to something like a combination of bliss and confusion, and she made a sound like: "Guh…?"

"How someone so good at neck rubs can be so lousy at foot rubs is beyond me," He said absently as he kneaded the skin and muscles of her foot firmly, but gently, immediately regretting the words as he realized what he'd said. Looking up quickly to gauge her reaction, his eyes widened at what he saw.

It was as if a wall came clanking down in front of her face, completely shutting away all traces of emotion. "Don't remind me," She warned him in an even, hard tone, and he nodded, looking away, slightly embarrassed; he could feel the muscles of her legs clenching under his fingers.

He cleared his throat theatrically to break the tension, and felt her muscles slowly relax again. "You can't just pinch and prod randomly," He went on reprimanding as he fussed over her foot, moving on to her sole, making circular motions with his thumb and fingers, her heel resting in the palm of his other hand. "You start from the top, work your way down…and you don't neglect the sides. You have to _know_ what you're _doing_."

"And how is it that _you_ know what you're doing?"Shego demanded in a murmur, her eyes closing as she leaned back on the couch.

Drakken's mouth quirked with a small grin. In the complicated evasiveness that was Shego Speak, that was supposed to be a compliment; it meant that she thought whatever he was doing actually felt rather nice. "Well, I—"He began, but she interrupted him, sitting up slightly.

"Wait, let me guess," she said flatly. "You used to rub your mama's feet, right?"

He gave her a glare for her irritating tone and pushed his thumb into a sensitive spot of her foot, hard, smirking in victory when she practically collapsed back on the couch, groaning. He'd also given his girlfriend a couple of foot rubs back in the day, as he'd started college, and years before he'd gotten mixed up in all the evil revenge business, but he wasn't about to tell _her_ that. She probably wouldn't believe he'd ever even _had_ a girlfriend, however brief the relationship had been. Besides, she might start prodding him with personal questions he didn't want to answer.

"I've rubbed my own feet plenty of times."He said, shrugging. "And sure, I've rubbed my mother's feet. She's an old lady, and I'm her son. It's my job." He said matter-of-factly as he rotated her foot gently, noting that she was wearing a coat of flawless, black nail polish even on her toenails. He wasn't surprised. "I'm sure I'd like to have someone to rub my feet when_ I_ get old."

"You're already old," she mocked half-heartedly, sighing as she threw an arm across her eyes, her body sagging further and her toes flexing.

"You know," Drakken remarked in an offended tone, kneading the sole of her foot by holding the foot with one hand and making a fist with the other, using moderate pressure on the sole; this made her body twitch a bit, "you have ridiculously tiny feet."

"Good thing you have ridiculously tiny hands, then," she shot back, lounging luxuriously. This had to be every employee's dream, she thought, actually having their feet rubbed by their own boss. All that was missing was someone feeding her grapes and fanning her with palm leaves.

"My hands are still bigger than _yours_," He pointed out sulkily, radiating wounded male pride.

"Wow." Shego murmured sarcastically. "You have _slightly_ bigger hands than a woman with ridiculously tiny feet. Must really make you feel all _manly_."

Grunting in offence, Drakken began rolling her toes between his fingers. "They're like Barbie feet," he went on.

"Gee, thanks," Shego replied listlessly, unable to get properly angry during the thorough massaging of her tired feet. "Let me just get my blond wig out again, y'know, complete the ensemble..." She mumbled. His hands were very warm, and curiously soft as he continued the foot rub; it had to be because he was always wearing those protective gloves.

He opened his mouth to comment, but she stopped him with a pointed finger. "Other foot now," She ordered, and he would've been provoked by it if there hadn't been contentment and relaxation written all over that order.

"Fine." Sighing, he put her left foot down and picked up her right.

"This is pretty good."She said, grinning cheekily at him as he continued the massage. "I think I'll forgive you for ditching me at brunch."

_Ah, h__ere we go._ He'd known there had to have been _some_ other reason why she'd been so upset with him earlier. He hadn't thought she'd care, however. How odd.

"Is that so?" He quirked a brow, his fingers halting in their movements on her foot. "Well, then it'll interest you to know that_ I_ decided to forgive _you_ for botching up my plan and ditching me since you came and rescued me so soon afterwards. And that it's why I'm even bothering to do this in the first place."

"At least I didn't ignore you for some lame bargain basement wannabe villain…" She muttered, looking away.

Drakken stared. Was she…? Nah, she couldn't be. Jealous? Over _that _guy? Feeling threatened as a sidekick by Warmonga was understandable, but feeling threatened by _Frugal Lucre_? Sure, he'd had a good idea, but he was still…well, Annoyance Factor F! Hardly anyone to feel threatened by!

"Shego," he started, glancing at her, "Frugal Lucre isn't—"

"Less talky, more rubby," Shego pouted.

Drakken shook his head with capitulation, yet resumed the massage, starting the procedure from the beginning with the new foot. "Talk about 'putty in my hands'," he muttered quietly, snickering slightly to himself.

The foot rub seemed to be, while not completely killing off her sarcastic mockery, at least slowing it down considerably. It'd really taken the edge off of her for a while, and now she was even whining for more. Shego never whined.

Martin Smarty may have been putty in Shego's hands, but now Shego was surely putty in the hands of Dr. Drakken.If he'd known this was all it took to make her more agreeable, maybe he'd have done it sooner. This was much more effective than any hour-long lecture. Not to mention that her small, warm foot felt nice in his hand, her leg on his knee an oddly reassuring weight…

"What?" Shego asked sharply, sitting up to peer distrustfully at him. "Did you say something?"

Drakken blinked nervously at her, caught. Okay, so maybe she wasn't _that _easily deterred. "Uh, I…I just said 'talk about pudding from France'…!" He blurted, grasping at straws.

Shego sent him a look that branded him a certified nutcase as far as she was concerned. "Why in the world would you say _that_?"

"I have _no_ idea," He replied truthfully, looking a bit befuddled, and she settled down after sending him another you're-a-loon kind of glance. Drakken breathed a quiet breath of relief; sometimes, there were apparently certain advantages to the fact that she seemed to think he was occasionally a basket and an ant hill short of a picnic.

It was such a strange occasion, he thought as he rubbed her feet, yet so natural. What with all the accidents they got into and all the long work days they put in, in a way it was really rather strange that they hadn't done something like this before. Drakken, at least, knew that he'd longed for a neck rub or a foot rub many a time after a plan failed, but unlike Shego, he didn't think to squander his money on spas.

Also, he realized, this was one of the few times he'd touched her instead of vice versa. She was always poking and prodding and pushing at him, pulling his hair or pinching his cheeks, but he usually just kept away from her, knowing he'd only get a good helping of green fire for his troubles if he ever tried something like the stunts she usually pulled, and not really having any real desire to do it besides. He'd never been a very touchy-feely kind of person.

Tonight, however, he'd seen her moan about her swollen feet and had felt the urge to help her. And he'd felt something…unfamiliar when it came to her. Something that had been triggered by her talking about Martin Smarty. Something that had been part of what made him reach out and take her foot. An almost…_possessive_ streak had gone through him.

And he'd had a confusing and rather petty thought: _Martin Smarty?_ _Well,_ _a__t least I have __**hair**__**…**_

"When I go like this," he murmured absent-mindedly, using his knuckles on her instep, "It's supposed to be good for your back."

"Yeah?" Shego picked up a throw pillow and shoved it behind her neck, deciding to make herself more comfortable as she was determined to let this massage go on for a while before she'd allow him to stop. This was almost as good as a spa.

"Yeah, I read that somewhere," Drakken said, nodding slowly.

"Mm," Shego grunted, nodding as well.

And having someone touch her with care, even if it was just her feet, satisfied a need in her that had been building lately and wouldn't leave her alone, a yawning abyss of deprived emotions that demanded to be fulfilled. A need that had almost made her kiss Martin Smarty, she thought to herself, shuddering mentally.

It wasn't that he'd been repulsive or anything; in fact he'd been kind of cute in a gentlemanly, obscenely rich, bald-headed, non-evil kind of way, but she didn't know him at all and she'd been prepared to stoop so low as to kiss the guy just to worm her way into his wallet? It couldn't have just been the money, she thought, a crease forming on her brow, because she could've gotten them very easily. It had to have been something else, it had to have been the fact that she was getting lonely and just a little bit starved for affection, which was inexcusable and embarrassing for someone who was supposed to be so independent as her, but there you had it, and she _hatedhatedhated _the fact—

A little innocent TLC from her good ol' Dr. D. was kind of all right, though, and didn't put her at any risk of compromising her pride.

Closing her eyes and concentrating on the soothing feel of Drakken's fingers on her foot, she let her thoughts wander idly…

...until a rather disturbing thought resurfaced in her. A thought about a certain rich guy's bratty offspring.

"Drakken, um...just wondering..." She began uncertainly. "I mean, you're kind of an old guy and everything..."

Drakken froze for a second before looking up at her with a scowl. "Thank you _ever_ so much." That's all he needed right after his forty-second birthday and after his mother had been nagging him more than usual lately. That's all he needed; being called old by a relatively young, attractive woman. Even if it was just Shego.

She groaned. "You know what I mean. I'm just wondering, since you're at that age and everything...what do you think of kids? Ever wanted any?"

"Ugh, no, don't remind me." he shook his head, grimacing. "Mother called the other day."

She failed to see the big deal. "And…?"

"And apparently she's reached that age where she's started getting desperate for grandchildren." He told her gloomily. She'd been going on and on about how all her friends had grandchildren already, never even stopping to consider that her pressuring and her guilt tripping might only be making the idea of starting a family seem even less appealing to him than before.

Comprehension dawned on Shego. "And what with you being an only child…?"

He nodded sadly. "Yes. The responsibility all falls to me." This certainly wasn't the first time he'd wished for a sibling, but he hadn't thought about it much since he was a child, and he'd never wanted one as much as he did right then—especially an older sibling, so it wouldn't be his job to provide the grandchildren first— if only because it might keep his mother off of his back.

Shego raised her eyebrows. "She _does_ know you're still single, right?"

He winced at that; and yes, here came the other nice reminder that only served to make him feel even older. Here he was, at forty-two, and he didn't even have a girlfriend, let alone a wife and kids— that was the mantra his mother loved to repeat for him, anyway. "A fact that _also _featured quite heavily in the conversation, yes." He said tightly.

"Well," Shego began, with exaggerated cheerfulness, "Why don't you just _clone_ yourself if she wants grandchildren?"

He sat up abruptly, his face brightening momentarily, but soon slumped back down into his seat, burrowing his chin in his arms, leaning forward to his knees, seemingly forgetting that her legs were still there, resting his face against her bare calves in mental anguish. "Nah, wouldn't work." He mumbled, then, and Shego almost jumped as his lips and the vibrations of his voice unintentionally tickled her naked skin. "She'd still expect me to be married."

Shego sighed, not even bothering to point out that she'd only been joking in the first place. She should've known; she should be used to his eccentric thought processes by now. He just saw reality in a slightly different way than her; cloning was something he could pull off at the drop of a hat, so it _would_ be a very real solution to him— he just_ completely_ failed to see the ridiculousness of making it the solution to _this_ problem.

She rolled her eyes as she realized that he was getting depressed thinking about his mother's complaints, and that there probably wouldn't be any more foot massage. It looked like it was her job to perk him up again like always. Besides, her feet felt all better now, anyway.

Pushing at his shoulder so he sat back up, she swung her legs off of his lap. "Come on, turn around," she commanded, tapping his shoulder with a finger.

Drakken gave her a look of complete disorientation. "Turn around...?"

"Turn around," she repeated sternly, simply taking him by the shoulders and swivelling him around on the spot, as easily as if he was just a doll or something.

"What are you—"He began to object, but fell abruptly silent as she unexpectedly started rubbing his neck, working her nimble fingers into the ever-present stress knots there. Slowly, his shoulders descended.

"That's right, Chief," she said, chuckling behind him, "I'm not gonna throttle you."

"Oooh, I can't tell you how good that feels," He sighed, slumping just slightly forward. "Those knots have been there so long I hardly even notice them anymore..." He'd been surprised that she'd do something like this in the first place, but now that he was convinced it wasn't some kind of trick, he was quickly relaxing. He'd just given both of her feet a thorough massage, so it was only reasonable that she do something in return, right? Not that he'd expected her to, but still—

Oh, that felt nice, it felt almost like that time when— it felt nice. She knew what she was doing; although she couldn't imagine her having done this very often for other people, but then what did he know about her private life? Had she ever had a boyfriend whom she'd given a neck rub to, or was she just a natural? And why should he even wonder? A neck rub was a neck rub and they were a rarity for him, so he should just stop worrying and enjoy it...

Drakken had always been much more blunt and forward than her when it came to the softer kind of emotions, but still it surprised Shego and made her squirm just a little when he praised her so openly, letting himself enjoy the neck rub with such abandon; Shego paused for half a second before continuing the massage, pressing both her thumbs into bundles of stress on each side of his neck, showing no mercy in forcing them to retreat.

"I don't know if I even _want_ to have any children, anyway," he said then, twitching slightly at the rough treatment his neck was getting, but then groaning in contentment at the results, as the knots started unravelling. "I mean, I can't even take care of a _dog_."

"I don't even know if I _like_ kids." Shego confessed, subjecting his still stiff neck to gentle little strikes with the side of her hands, like little judo chops, tendering him up. "I don't think I do. They kind of give me the creeps, to be honest."

"Me, too." He agreed vaguely, a relaxed hum in his throat as she worked her not-so-green magic on the tender muscles in his neck and shoulders.

"They're annoying..." She started, and he could easily recognize the beginning of a ranting list when he heard one.

"Loud, hyperactive..." He supplied.

"Too much responsibility..." She continued, rubbing his skin with her fingertips, her touches growing lighter as she began feeling a bit tired.

"Whiny, selfish..." He nodded, sighing with contentment.

"Bratty, rude, insolent..." She pointed out as she yawned a little, her massage losing its force almost completely.

"Horrible..."He mumbled half-heartedly, leaning back a little to nudge her fingers into action again.

"Yeah..."Shego nodded sleepily, yawning again; she'd already been sure that she'd made the right decision about ditching Martin Smarty, no matter how much money he had, and no matter if she'd felt a little lonely with Drakken running off with Frugal Lucre, but now she felt even better about the decision. Nothing was worth that; she'd just been momentarily distracted by the lure of property and tons of cold, hard cash. Besides, the men who usually flirted with her had never really treated her like that or plied her with that many gifts, so she'd lost her head for a second. Kid or no kid, however, she knew she'd have been back to an exciting life of crime in a matter of a week or so, anyway.

Even if Drakken often had financial troubles, at least he provided her with a daily life that was anything but boring. He made ordinary, day-to-day stuff into something bizarre, his evil schemes were insane, and their conversations were like verbal sparring. _And at least he has hair,_ she added to herself, as her fingers grazed his ponytail; it was a thought that came out of nowhere.

Not to mention that he gave the best...foot rubs..._ever_...

With a soft thump, her hands fell from his neck and her head dropped onto the back of the couch, and she could feel herself falling asleep already. It'd been a long day.

"...Shego?"

He looked at her for a while before he realized that she was actually asleep and not faking it.

Biting his lip, he watched her uncertainly. What was he supposed to do now?

Carry her to her room?

No, that would only earn him her contempt as she would, what with his luck, inevitably wake up right at some kind of embarrassing moment, misinterpreting the situation. That's how it always happened in the movies, anyway.

But she couldn't just lie there like that, either, in nothing but her dress, her arms and legs bare and her feet uncovered. She'd get sick or something.

Besides, she'd done it for him, once...

Sighing, he picked up the blanket from the couch and draped it across her. She squirmed a bit, but looked otherwise peaceful.

It was strange to watch her sleep. He'd really only seen it once before, and then he'd been too busy being annoyed at her jack hammer snoring. The lines of her face were slack with sleep, her mocking, amused expression gone. Leaning down, he carefully tucked the blanket around her body. She sighed in her sleep and turned her head.

"Stupid, blue man," she mumbled suddenly, and he had to glance at her face to confirm that she was still asleep. She was. "Never, he always..." she yawned. "Stupid...with the thing...why can't he ever..."

Drakken blinked. Okay, what she'd just said made about as much sense to him as a drunken person speaking Chinese, but it didn't surprise him that she'd talked about him in her sleep. Several times, he'd recorded his own sleep talk just in case he had some ingenious idea for a plot in his sleep, and while no groundbreaking scheme had so far been forthcoming, he'd been amused but not really surprised to find that he told off Shego even while he slept. It wasn't that odd, really— yelling at Shego was just such a deeply rooted habit with him.

And apparently, she did it, too.

Which was strangely reassuring on some sort of level.

"Good night." He said, patting her on the head.

She wrinkled her nose and swatted at his hand as if it was a fly. "Blah...so stupid...Dr. D, you jerk...never knows...he thinks he can just...meh..."

He grinned a bit as he walked away to his room.

* * *

_TBC. _

**Author's note: **Thanks again to my awesome beta, Zoza. This time I really needed a beta, LOL.

Why did I make the Doc criminally good at foot rubs? Well, why not? After all, we don't know that he _isn't_. Heh.

Yup, I think Drakken and Shego are both too selfish and immature to have kids. Maybe later. In a few years. If they ever feel like it. Meh. The avid reader will have picked up on the fact that the list of adjectives that Drakken and Shego used to describe children with can easily be applied to them, too.

This chapter is set after _Clean Slate_ and during and after _Mentor of Our Discontent_.

* * *


	13. ELEVEN

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Friendship, part IV**** or; Pickled**

* * *

After Shego had witnessed the true nature of Project Gherkin, she stomped off to her room, leaving Drakken and his silliness behind. Sure, his timing couldn't have been better as she'd been more than happy to get out of there quickly when she'd finally been returned to normal— but going all the way to Go City just because he wanted her to_ open a jar of pickles_? 

Gah.

And here she'd thought he'd been weird when he'd been started using those three by five memory cards…!

Shego paused at her dresser, fiddling with a hairbrush distractedly.

So…now she had to deal with all the uncomfortable memories of having been good for a bout a week or so. It was like getting completely drunk at an office party or something and then having to hear about all the stupid things you did when returning to work the following Monday. Except you didn't _completely_ change personality when you were drunk; you were still you, and had no excuse. Now she supposed she couldn't really be blamed, although that didn't really make it any less embarrassing.

Her experience of being a good guy who was friends with Kim Possible also left her feeling something else than annoyance, embarrassment and anger, however.

It was a wistful sort of feeling. She'd had a best friend, briefly, in high school.

Tracy. For about six months or so.

She hadn't been the sort of best friend you sat around telling your innermost secrets to or anything, but they'd had fun, and they'd been together almost every day. Tracy had been the sort of friend she could call up whenever she felt like it. Shego had felt like they'd had something in common.

When you were a crime-fighting super hero, you tended to miss out on a few things, and you tended to not look at some things the same way that other people did. Tracy had been in a similar position—of course, nothing could really compare, but still—Tracy had been the only person in her class who'd had a job at such a young age, because she'd lived alone with her father and had to pitch in.

So Tracy had known what it was like to have to deal with a responsibility that had been thrust upon her by circumstance instead of getting to start on her homework or just hang around with friends doing nothing, like a fourteen-year-old girl should get to do. Sure, one or two of the other kids had had a paper route or something, but none of them had had a job that was necessary in order to support their family.

Shego had never actually revealed her secret identity to her friend, but Shego had felt like Tracy had known it, somehow. If she hadn't quite guessed it, then she'd at least known that Shego, too, had unwanted responsibility that was making what was supposed to be her carefree years more difficult.

Shego hadn't thought about that girl in years, but now it had all come flooding back. She'd gone to the movies with Tracy, she'd been to coffee shops with her and she'd even slept over at her house once—everything she'd done the day before, with Kim Possible.

And Kimmie, while she was nothing like Shego personality-wise, was living much the same life that Shego herself had at that age— living the taxing life of a hero. She even had annoying twin brothers, for goodness sake!

Kimmie liked being a hero, however, while Shego hadn't.

When she'd been attitudinated, though, when she hadn't been herself, Shego had been able to relate to the young woman, and whatever it was that she'd been, she'd been having fun with Kim Possible. When filtered through her altered mind, Kim Possible hadn't seemed so bad. And now she remembered everything.

So…Kim Possible had turned out to be even more of a hero than usual, actually welcoming her nemesis into her house with open arms, just as she'd willingly worked with Dr. D the time when _he'd_ been attitudinated. That was annoying to think about now that she was in her right mind again.

Still, it had been a thought provoking experience to be someone so completely different for a few days, even if the memories made her cringe now.

Shego hadn't had a female friend in years. All her life, she'd been surrounded by her brothers, and now, whenever she felt like being honest with herself, she had to admit that her only friend was Dr. Drakken. She had never minded much, as she'd always been a bit rough around the edges and liked hanging around guys, and had never been one of those people who felt the urge to pour out their thoughts and feelings all the time. She'd never been able to relate much to the girls in her class when she was younger, since she'd felt she'd had nothing in common with them, and later in life, she'd also gravitated towards hanging out with men, but sometimes…

She cared about Dr. D and she was comfortable around him— and judging by how he always told her everything, including things she didn't actually want to know, so was he—but there were times when she wanted to exclaim _'Men!'_but didn't have anybody to say it to but herself. There were certain things you couldn't talk with guys about, certain things you'd only understand if you were a woman yourself…

Sometimes she wondered if Drakken ever thought the same thing about being a man. Maybe that was why he'd teamed up with Frugal Lucre?

And the thing about guys was that she was an attractive woman, and that there would always be some sort of underlying sexual tension—except between her and Dr. D, of course, she added quickly— which wasn't there with women, and that was one of the few things she missed about having female friends. And she couldn't talk about…spas and nails and fashion with Dr. D, and she couldn't talk about sex or other guys.

She could just imagine the look on his face if she were to ever bring up her sex life on her coffee break one day when he was working in the lab or something. She was sure he'd find some excuse to flee the lab in a one-man stampede.

Not that she actually even _had_ a sex life these days, she reminded herself, sighing.

Being Drakken's sidekick _was_ a demanding job— it felt more like a way of life than a job, really— but she felt as if even if she'd had more time off, she'd be hard pressed to find anyone worthwhile to spend time with. The few times she'd dated the last year, she'd been so bored she'd wanted to chew her own leg off. But the guy she dated the last time had actually been nice, he'd been attractive, and he'd tried his best to keep her interest during the date, so Shego had no idea why she'd been playing the old Anywhere But Here game repeatedly in her head all the while he'd been talking…

Again, there was that nagging sense of loneliness she'd felt lately. Every weekend when she wasn't at the lair.

Releasing an annoyed grunt, Shego snagged her nail file from her dresser and walked out into the living room.

She sat down opposite Dr. D at the table by the large monitor and started filing her nails; he looked up and met her gaze briefly across the table before he returned his attention to his jar of pickles. A second or two ticked by before a companionable silence descended on the two of them.

Shego sagged a little in her chair, sighing softly; coming here had given her the distinct, comforting sensation of slipping into a warm bath or a warm bed. Okay, so he was her employer and not a female friend she could tell things, but it didn't matter right then. She didn't need to say anything and she didn't need _him_ to say anything, she just needed to be around somebody, to have some company without any chatter, and that was what she had. It was an almost tangible feeling.

She groaned inwardly when, about ten seconds later, the intruder alert went off.

Of course.

* * *

Drakken stared at Shego across the table when she pressed the button that released the hounds on intruders. As he studied her face, his ears barely even registered the distant screams of 'Stevie' as the guard dogs tore his tasteless suit to pieces. 

"Who's Stevie?"

"Huh?"Shego seemed miles away all of a sudden. "Uh…just some guy."

The corners of Drakken's mouth turned down; she was obviously hiding something, and he didn't like it at all. "He seemed to be trying to _woo_ you."

Shego made a face; she hated that word. "I went out on _one _date with the guy, okay?"

"How did he know where you lived?"He went on, even more suspiciously.

Shego shrugged. "How did your mother know? How did your little cell mate know? How do Kimmie and her loony boyfriend always know?"

Drakken grunted, crossing his arms over his chest; she had a point, but he wasn't going to admit to it. "Where were you this week, anyway?"

"Uh…"All of a sudden, Shego seemed to find her nails even more interesting than usual.

"I was worried, you know."He told her earnestly, trying a new approach.

Shego wrinkled her nose. "Worried? You just wanted someone to open your jar of pickles."

"Oh, please," Drakken dismissed her, "as if I couldn't just have had something else to eat."

"Well, why didn't you, then?"Shego challenged him.

"Uh, because…because no one defeats Dr. Drakken, that's why!"He insisted forcefully. "And especially not a jar of pickles!"

Shego blinked at him. "Oh, good grief..."

"So, um…where _were_ you?"He tried again, looking at her expectantly.

"None of your business."She rejected him bluntly.

"Shego…!"

"No."

"I was…"He hesitated before soldiering on. "I thought maybe you'd left me again."

Shego paused in filing her nails, trying to hide a cringe; why did he always have to be so open about things like that? And _that _particular thing was probably her _l__east_ favorite subject nowadays.

"I said I wouldn't."She mumbled, glancing away.

He cleared his throat awkwardly as it dawned on him that he really _might've_ said too much. "Yes, well…"

"How did you even know where to find me, by the way?"Shego asked, trying to change the subject.

"Uh…well, if you must know," Drakken said with reluctance, looking mildly embarrassed. "I called up Possible's little computer boy again."

"Begging for favors from the enemy just to find me, huh?" She grinned. "You must've really had a craving for pickles."

His eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened; now she was just playing with him, having fun at his expense just because he'd admitted he hadn't been indifferent to her absence. In the world of Shego, there were so many things you weren't allowed to say. It was almost like being in high school again, where the slightest weakness would leave you open for verbal or even physical assaults.

"Yes."He said dryly, refusing to let her rile him up for once. "Can't get enough pickles."

She shook her head; the quirky grin she wore indicated that she was suppressing the urge to laugh.

Drakken sighed inwardly; here he'd tried to get her to tell out of her own accord what she'd been doing while she was gone, but no such luck. Really, he thought irritably, he was too nice to her sometimes. It looked like he'd be forced to leave her no excuses. There was no way she could talk herself out of this one. Besides, the picture had been burning a hole in his pocket, figuratively speaking, ever since he'd discovered it, and he was far too curious not to ask her.

The picture raised a multitude of questions, and he had to find out what in the world had been going on.

"Shego, um…I found this…"

Turning her head in a distracted manner at the sound of Dr. D's voice, Shego barely suppressed the gasp that threatened to escape her when she saw what was in his hand— it was supposed to have been ash by now! He wasn't supposed to see that!

"Care to explain?"Drakken prompted.

Her gaze flickered back and forth between his face and the picture in his hand. "Uh…"

"Shego?"

An exasperated little noise left her mouth. "I haven't run off and joined the hero team, if that's what you—"

Drakken rolled his eyes. "Did I even say that? Now what's the reason for you posing with Kim Possible for a picture, looking like some kind of silly school girl?"

Shego groaned. She was too tired after everything to be getting into this now.

"Look, you obviously didn't want me to see this, but I did, and now I want some answers."He told her firmly, leaning forward and resting his elbow on the table. "So just spill the beans, because I'm not going to let this lie."

Again, Shego groaned as she flung and arm across her face. "Ugh, just…leave me alone."

Drakken thrummed his fingers on the table top for a while before he leaned back again. "Okay, if you want me to jump to my own conclusions, that's fine."He said carelessly.

Shego peered disbelievingly at him from under her arm. "Oh, come on!"

"All right…let's see…"Drakken started, pretending to look for inspiration before giving a theatrical, bright smile, "you decided to go out drinking last week on your day off, but before you knew it, it turned into a five day bender, and you ended up in a photo booth at the mall with Kim Possible, who thought she'd capture your giddy drunkenness on film and embarrass you with it later. The missing pictures also had the buffoon and the rat in them, and possibly a wide variety of false mustaches and silly hats."

Shego put her arm down again so she could send him a murderous look. "You're really _enjoying_ this, aren't you?"

He only went on as if she hadn't even spoken."Or, wait, you decided to go undercover as a teacher at her school to do some research on how to get rid of her and her sidekick, and with your new hairstyle and outfit, Possible became a victim of the infamous Clark Kent Effect and couldn't recognize you anymore—"

"Gah! Okay, okay! I'll tell you!"She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in capitulation. "One of my old enemies attitudinated me! I was good this entire week, and I had to rely on the cheerleader to help me! Just like you that one time, remember?"

He blinked at her for a moment before he could speak. "Well…why didn't you call or something?"

Shego's sigh was impatient. "Doy, because I was_ good_? Why would I call an evil villain?"

"Oh, right."Drakken said sheepishly. "But…I could have helped."

"How?"Shego asked, her voice broadcasting a blatant lack of faith.

"Well, you know…"he shrugged, ignoring her cynicism, "I could've attitudinated you back and stuff."

Her eyebrows shot up. "You could?"

"Sure."He nodded, "I have a reverse polarizer in my walk-in closet."

"You're _kidding_." She stared at him; if what he was saying was correct, there had been an opportunity to avoid the brunt of all her humiliating antics as Miss Go. The thought made her feel just a little faint, her stomach churning. She might've avoided it all…

_"Why didn't you come looking for me sooner?"_She almost screamed, but she already knew the answer. He'd thought she'd deliberately left, and hadn't been sure if she'd wanted to come back or not. Or maybe he'd just figured she'd needed some time off and would come back out of her own accord eventually. She did do that sometimes. It looked like her mercurial nature had come back to smack her in the face once again.

He shook his head. "Nope. You know, I thought…just in case. So I ordered one."

"Why haven't you just used it on Kim Possible or something?"She asked, trying to clear her head.

"Remember what happened the last time?"He reminded her pointedly, sending her a somewhat incredulous look. "And that was just the _buffoon_! An evil Kim Possible would be far too unpredictable. Can you honestly imagine her teaming up with us?"

"No, you're right. She'd probably just be our competition. She'd probably take over the world within a week and make us her slaves or something." She lifted an eyebrow, mildly impressed. "Wow, you actually used _logic_ for once, Dr. D!"

"Your wit astounds me."

"Sarcasm is _my_ shtick, Doc." Shego smirked before returning to her nail filing.

Drakken grunted softly, shrugging it off as he began channel flipping, not really paying attention to the programs, but rather remembering how that ridiculous man had looked, a bulky, ungraceful mess in a dweeb suit, brandishing flowers and a damn _lute_— who actually owned a _lute_ these days?

He wouldn't be caught dead like that. Anybody with half a brain should be able to tell that Shego wasn't the kind of woman who'd fall for something that tasteless and awkward to look at, everybody should know she'd reject something like that without any mercy—

Then again, if she hadn't been herself, if she'd been like _he'd_ been, good to the bone, mild and naïve in every way, there was no telling what kind of guys had appealed to her…not that he was entirely certain what kind of guys appealed to her _now_, either…though he was sure it had to be someone with a lot more style than that.

Shego interrupted him from his thoughts as she gave a little cough. "I didn't call you because…it doesn't work like that. When you're under the influence of the Attitudinator, you don't think about wanting to be evil again. Evil…is bad."

"I know."He heard himself say, a little absentminded. "I remember. I wanted to remain good."

"Yeah…I wanted to…be a respectful member of society. Be nice. Contribute, do my share…all that crap."She made a sour face, shuddering just a little. "Makes me kinda sick to think about just how…_cheerful _I was. How can anybody who knows anything about life be _that_ positive?"

Drakken sent her a pensive look as something occurred to him. For once, Shego seemed like she needed to rant, if only just a little. How and when did they get to this point? Where she actually _told_ him things? Where she actually _answered _questions about her personal life? As if he had some sort of right to know? And as if she cared what his response was? And why was he even asking her in the first place? That was none of his business, right?

He chewed at the inside of his cheek in frustration, deciding that he didn't care. It'd only bother him for the rest of the day if he didn't find out.

"Really, Shego…who _was_ that guy?"He prodded, letting his curiosity overcome him.

Shego let out a heavy sigh. "Stevie— I mean, Steve Barkin— is Kim Possible's teacher."

"_Kim Possible's _teacher?"He blurted out, shocked.

Shego flinched with embarrassment. "No need to rub it in."

He exhaled loudly, leaning back; she didn't seem very happy about having dated this guy. "So…then I guess we won't be seeing _Stevie_ around here again?"

"As if I would ever date the cheerleader's teacher— of _all_ people— when I was in my right mind!"Shego scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. "The crew cut, the tacky suit and the so-called singing didn't make it any better, either."

"Yeah, I mean, I sing better than _that_…"Drakken muttered, fiddling with the lid of the pickle jar.

Shego sent him an odd look; why was he even bringing_ that_ up now? "_Anybody_ sings better than _him_, Doc, don't flatter yourself."

"I'm just saying—"

"Whatever," Shego mumbled, putting her nail file down on the table with a dull slap, "you've made your point. You don't like Stevie. Well, he's not gonna come around again, okay?"

"Good." He said, changing his tune as he suddenly sounded pleased. "Pickle?"

She gave his abrupt, content grin a searching, bewildered frown before shrugging. "Um…sure. At least they're low fat."

* * *

**Intimacy, Part IV**** or; Coffee Crisis**

* * *

Without thinking about it, she leaned back, her temple touching his jaw line. 

"Yeah, I've never heard of Cousin Larry either."She said.

Drakken grimaced. "Guess all the Possibles are just a big bunch of heroes, huh?"

She scoffed. "Why do you think I left _my_ family?"

He leaned forward, resting the weight of his chin on her shoulder as he idly read the article. "Everybody thought they were perfect? Holier-than-thou attitudes all around?"

She raised an eyebrow, turning her head slightly to glance up at him. "Yeah." She said, somewhat intrigued despite herself. "Yeah, exactly. Like a family of moralistic clones."

"I can relate to that." He said, patting her other shoulder in sympathy. "Except for me and Eddie, my whole family's like that."

"Really?"

"Yes. Always trying to run other people's lives."

"Exactly," she said, brightening just slightly, relaxing as she began to get over the nagging thoughts of her family, her body sagging and her head leaning against his.

They'd been having a quiet period lately, Drakken taking some time to fix up the lair instead of actively pursuing a new evil plot— although she knew he had something cooking in the planning stages as she'd glimpsed plans and blue prints— and instead of being bored, she found herself actually enjoying the reprieve, doing things like catching up on some reading, shopping and occasionally going out to steal some stuff for him.

He'd been unusually mellow lately, and she'd apparently been affected by it. It wasn't often that he took breaks, and even if this was only a kind of semi-break, it was obviously doing him a bit of good, as he'd been a little out of it after being possessed by the pirate ghost of Blackeye Brown.

Drakken's eyes skimmed through the last of the article. "He was after the battle suit _again_?"

"Yeah, can you believe it? He sure has a one track mind. You'd think he'd get a new objective. Although that suit _does_ look kind of handy…"

"Don't even think about it, Shego," He objected, shaking his head faintly. "I don't want to be some sort of copy cat. Especially not _Dementor's_ copy cat…I mean, stealing from him is fine, but—"

She pouted a bit. "Yeah, but…I could use something like that."

"Meh. If you really want it, I could probably _make_ you one."

"Really?" Her eyebrows shot up as she turned her head a little, her hair tickling the side of his face.

He made a small, inconvenienced-sounding grunt as he brushed her hair away, leaning a bit further down to peer at the battle suit. "Sure, shouldn't be too hard. It wouldn't be exactly the same of course, since I don't have the plans for it, but I think I could replicate a lot of the abilities I've heard about…"He said, running a finger pensively across the picture of the suit. "…maybe even add some new and different ones…" He murmured, lost in thought, his mind already racing with possibilities.

"Hmmm…" She turned her attention back to the newspaper, looking at the dork in the battle suit. "It wouldn't be white, then, right?"

He smirked, rolling his eyes before he followed her gaze back to the picture, withdrawing his arm. "Glad to hear you've got your priorities straight."

She glared at him out of the corner of her eye. "Well, I'm just _saying_— I mean, _I'd_ be the one _wearing_ it, so it matters to _me_." She said, stabbing at the picture of the battle suit with her index finger.

"Sure thing," he said, his chin lifting off of her shoulder as he straightened up again, "it could be any color you'd like. "He told her over his shoulder as he walked off, heading for the kitchen.

Shego watched him leave, suddenly frowning as her shoulder tingled after the weight of his head had been removed. It seemed almost as if it was only _now_ that the warm pressure was_ gone_ from her shoulder that its earlier presence properly registered in her mind. Of course she'd _noticed_ it, it was just that…she hadn't really _thought_…

Shego stared at the wall as everything sunk in. Lately, she'd noticed that he'd been a bit more physical towards her; not much, and it all seemed casual, but it still wasn't _nothing_. It was still a change. Since when did she and the Doc become this comfortable around each other?

It had to have been since that foot massage, she realized. Ever since then, he'd begun being less squeamish about casual physical contact, but it'd been such a gradual transition that she hadn't really thought about it much until now. And now she had to wonder why it was that he didn't act so uptight anymore, why he was getting comfortable…

Sure, _she'd_ always been comfortable, never worrying about him doing anything, knowing he'd keep his distance and respect her, but he'd never been very touchy feely, and now he'd just leaned on her as if she was just part of the chair or something.

A small frown appeared on her brow. Did he really just…not consider her as a woman at all? Was that really it? Did he just not even think that his actions were intimate?

Or was it just because things had been so mellow this past week at the lair? Was it because they were getting so used to each other again, even more than before?

That had been…quite intimate, when she thought about it. Because she couldn't imagine letting anyone else lean on her like that.

She tried to go through her mind in search of anybody—

Her brothers? No, she'd have just found it annoying and would have pushed them off.

Eddie? She'd have immediately blasted him through the front door.

Dr. D? Apparently…she'd just relax and lean back into him.

And that was…disturbing…

* * *

Drakken looked down; without even realizing it, he'd been making two cups of coffee. And it startled him, because he hadn't simply been so scatterbrained that he'd poured himself coffee twice; no, the second cup of coffee was for Shego. He could tell because while one of the coffees were black, just the way he liked it, he'd topped the other one off with skimmed milk, just the way _Shego_ liked it. 

He stood there staring dumbly at the two cups, still holding the carton of skimmed milk and trying to figure out what to do. Should he just give her the coffee, or would she act all surprised and ungrateful, delivering some sort of sarcastic remark and making him feel stupid? Would bringing her coffee be such an unusual event that he would be forced to explain himself? And what would be a reasonable excuse, then? Certainly not 'I made one by mistake because I was thinking about you'—

Wait…since when did he care, anyway? Since when did he make such a big deal out of things like this? It wasn't as if Shego was going to try to find some kind of Deeper Meaning behind him simply bringing her a cup of coffee— she'd probably only think that he was trying to butter her up before asking her some kind of big favour, like doing a job she didn't want to do.

And then he'd get annoyed at her accusation, and they'd bicker and she'd end up smug and he'd end up sulking somehow—

Grunting with annoyance, he walked over to the sink; he only hesitated for a few seconds before pouring her coffee out.

When he walked into the living room again, Shego turned to him and caught sight of the cup he was carrying; lifting her nose slightly, she sniffed the air.

"Is that coffee?"She asked, and he nodded. "Well, why didn't you get me some, too, while you were out there?"

Drakken spluttered. "B-but you didn't ask!"

She put her hand on her hip. "I didn't know you were making any. You should've asked me. It's only common courtesy."

Drakken's face turned red with frustration. He almost looked like he was choking on something. "But! You! And I— I made coffee! And black, and with— with the carton— but I thought— and then you! I thought you would— that we would— and then— the sink—"

Shego tilted her head at him, looking mildly concerned. "Dr. D, what _are_ you talking about?"

Drakken's nostrils flared as he grunted, his eyes wild; here he'd wasted at least ten minutes just agonizing over whether to bring her coffee or not, and then she— she just—

"AAARRGGGHHH!"

Shego leaned back in her chair, eyes wide as the Doc bellowed his rage and threw his own coffee cup into the waste basket nearby, coffee and all, before stalking off to the kitchen, muttering angrily.

"Wow…wonder what _his_ problem is."

* * *

Out in the kitchen, Drakken was panting a little as he leaned over the sink. 

_Blah, s__uch a big fuss over __**nothing**_, he thought as he splashed some cold water on his face and dabbed at it with his sleeve.

He wasn't used to his head being so full of these kinds of things. Sure, he'd occasionally wondered about them and their confounding, frustrating, strange relationship, and he'd certainly wondered quite often what in the world Shego's _deal_ was, but his mind would quickly be deterred by how he could best achieve global domination through science and technology. Now, however…he was having an…_off _period.

That was what it was. It was just a brief slump. He couldn't think of anything truly ingenious and sinister, but it was only a temporary setback.

These distracting thoughts would soon leave him again and he could get back to what was important, i.e. becoming the ruler of the world.

Drakken frowned as he poured some more coffee for them from the fresh pot and put some skimmed milk in her coffee again.

He'd never been all that good at interpersonal relationships, so he was having a hard time trying to figure out what was going on now. The last few days, he'd found himself being slightly less annoyed around Shego and more contemplative, but he could feel that it probably wouldn't last long. It was just a rare, quiet period, where he was thinking even more than usual— but about different things than what he normally thought about.

He didn't know why, but he found himself gravitating towards her these days. Usually, it was Shego who'd seek_ him_ out—unless he yelled for her to come do her job or if he wanted to show her something— and it was certainly Shego who initiated basically all the physical contact, if any. These days, however, whether it had even been consciously or not, he'd done some tentative, almost absent-minded things, like a pat on her shoulder, a hand on her arm— he'd even gone as far as poking her in the ribs to get her attention, once. Unlike him, however, who thought it was vexing when she poked and prodded him, Shego didn't seem to be bothered by it.

Was it just him? Did he just have too short a fuse? Nah, he knew she did those things to deliberately annoy him, so he was right to…well, be annoyed. He hadn't aimed to annoy her, however, so maybe that was what she'd picked up on. Maybe that was why she took it all in stride.

But now…when he'd leaned on her shoulder, it hadn't been just a brief touch to get her attention, so why hadn't she said anything? Why hadn't she been annoyed?

His frown reappeared on his brow as he halted in the doorway, holding their two cups of coffee; she was just preoccupied. That was the whole thing. She was just too busy thinking about other things for her to even notice the skating-on-the-knife-edge-of-what's-normal amount of physical contact they'd been sharing.

He didn't even know _why_ he'd leaned over her like that— except to read the newspaper, of course, but he hadn't needed to actually lean _on_ her to do that— but he knew even less why she hadn't tried to shrug him off of herself.

He felt like asking something, all of a sudden, something that might've given him some answers as to what she was thinking and what was happening.

Except he had no questions to ask. He couldn't come up with anything better than: 'Why is everything so weird?'

And that hardly even made sense to _him_, so it certainly wouldn't make any sense to _her_.

And then Shego would ask him what he meant, and then he'd have to explain himself, and he couldn't explain himself. He'd have to resort to some kind of '_You_ know…with…uhh…?' explanation, and that would get him nowhere.

He sighed as he walked into the room; he just wanted to be able to concentrate on coming up with new ideas for taking over the world again, that was all he asked. He didn't need all this silly stuff cluttering up his brilliant, creative mind.

* * *

When he gave her the coffee, she was just remembering that she hadn't asked him to put milk in hers…but then she looked down at her cup. He _had_ put milk in it. Puzzled, she took a sip. And skimmed milk, too; just how she liked it. 

And apparently, he _knew_ that…?

Shego stared at the wall again as she slowly drank her coffee. They'd obviously been living together for far too long. They'd obviously been spending far too much time together. She'd picked up a lot of useless Drakken trivia over the years, but then he had a tendency to rant about himself a lot, even about private manners, and unlike him, she had a keen attention for details. She couldn't help it if she remembered things. But she, however, didn't talk about herself that much, and he was so inattentive anyway, so she'd always just assumed that he'd never noticed much about her in the way of personal preferences and such.

But now he'd actually taken note of how she took her coffee and had even remembered it for later…

It was such a small thing, really. Had it been anybody else, she wouldn't even have considered it. But since this was a megalomaniacal villain…well, they tended to be so wrapped up in themselves and their big dreams that they didn't usually notice things like that. And if they did, then they usually forgot, and Dr. D had always been a little absentminded.

She cleared her throat as she looked across the table at him, where he sat reading the newspaper, now that she was done with it.

"So, Doc…what's the next plan?"

For a while, the only answer was the faint rustle of the thin pages of the newspaper, which was obstructing her view of his face. Slowly, the newspaper lowered, his gaze traveling up to met hers. "I…don't actually have one."

For a second, Shego almost wondered if she'd misheard him. "…huh? You don't?"

"No."Drakken said flatly, his voice picking up a somewhat strained quality.

Shego looked at him uncertainly. It wasn't as if he hadn't experienced creative dry spells before, but something about him seemed a little different this time. He seemed kind of upset, but it didn't seem like simple melodrama. It wasn't crocodile tears or ranting; he was quiet, and he seemed as if he wasn't coming up with any ideas because his mind was simply being distracted by something else.

"Okay…?"She asked, a little taken aback. "So what're we gonna—"

"Don't— don't push me!"He barked, the anger in his loud voice partly masking the fact that he was obviously distraught. He was probably developing some sort of complex since he hadn't come up with any plans for a while, the way a writer might get frustrated over a severe writer's block. "It'll come to me, okay?"

"I'm sure it will," she said, grinning just a little.

He scowled at her, grumbling.

"By the way," she added, sipping at her coffee, "the henchmen forgot to water the plants again. They're turning all brown and stuff."

Drakken breathed a disgusted sigh. "Nnngh…I'm not surprised. They're always forgetting to do…some…thing…?"He turned to her, wide-eyed. "Did you say 'plants', Shego?"

She glanced up. "Um, yes?"

"Shego!" He exclaimed, laughing as he stood up. "You're brilliant!"

"What now?" Shego asked with a touch of apprehension; she'd heard this kind of speech before.

"See?" He said, looking excited as he paced back and forth in front of her. "This is why I need you around!"He went on, and, to her great surprise, reached out and ruffled her hair, grinning.

"Hey! Watch the hair!"She objected, smoothing it down again while glaring at him, looking a little flustered. "What's the big idea!"

"Exactly, Shego! It IS a big idea!" He announced with a flourish. "I have a new idea for a global domination plan!"

"…what, _already_?"

* * *

TBC. 

**Author's note:** Thanks again to my beta, Zoza, who likes skimmed milk in her coffee; a preference I gave Shego since she seems to be rather healthy. She also helped me come up with a name for Shego's old friend.

Somebody asked me in the reviews if this was actually going to be a romance or if it was just going to be an awkward friendship thing forever. Well, it's marked romance, so I guess it's a romance. It's all just a big build-up, baby!

I wrote this chapter as Drakken having lost inspiration because both these episode end tags had Drakken and Shego just kind of sitting around doing nothing. For the first one, after STG, it wasn't really strange, but in the other one, I just found it interesting that Drakken was acting so casual and mellow around Shego, doing things like leaning on her and talking about floor waxing instead of hatching a new evil plan.

And so I just elaborated.

**Friendship, part IV or; Pickled **is set during and after _Stop Team Go_,and **Intimacy, Part IV or; Coffee Crisis **is set after _Larry's Birthday_

* * *


	14. TWELVE

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go. _**Warning: This chapter has some mild adult content.**_

* * *

**Intimacy****, Part V or; It's Time To Get Awkweird**

* * *

"So, what happened to that battle suit you said you were gonna make for me?"Shego asked as she lounged in her chair, idly thumbing through a magazine. 

Whatever new plan Drakken was working on, he'd been keeping it a secret, and she was getting bored waiting around to see the results or to have something to do. So far, he'd occupied her with doing things like training the henchmen, doing various errands, keeping an eye out for what was going on in the world of villainy and dealing with the contractors that were building their new lair. These weren't unimportant things, these were all things that needed to be done, but she hadn't been given anything...well, e_xciting_ to do for over a month now, and she was getting mighty restless.

"I said maybe."Drakken mumbled distractedly, busy writing something in his notebook.

"Hey, if you want me to stop Kim Possible—"Shego began objecting, but he cut her off.

"Maybe I could have a go at it when I'm done with my project."He promised vaguely, waving her away as if she was a bothersome child who was nagging him.

He knew that Shego had been getting bored and nosy lately, and he supposed he couldn't blame her, but she should have known better. She knew he needed time to plan these…well, plans! She was _used_ to the slow periods of planning and preparation and building, so she shouldn't be getting so antsy and she shouldn't be bothering him.Of course, usually she just went and did…whatever it was that she did when he was busy, unless he needed her help, but this time she'd simply…hung around, and she was getting on his nerves.

He needed some peace and quiet if he was going to be able to do this, because this time it was going to be the best yet! And it wasn't just bluster this time, he could_ feel_ it, he could feel that this would be_ it_! If his calculations were correct, this was going to be—

Shego sighed quietly, trying to rein in her impatience. "Yeah, sure, your new project— which is _what_?"

He hesitated, glancing up at her. Okay, so she'd been getting on his nerves a little, but on the other hand, the company had been nice in a way, especially in the evenings. Maybe he should tell her _something_, just a little _hint_. She'd been surprisingly patient so far, after all, and hadn't complained about doing the jobs he'd set her to do. "Well…"He began haltingly. "It involves botany, I can tell you that much."

"No death rays, huh?" She grinned and turned back to look at him, taking her feet down from the table. "So…botany? Don't think you've tried _that_ one before."

He beamed at what seemed like actual interest from her. "Haven't, no."

She shrugged. "Well, I guess it can't be dumber than the last one."

He ground his teeth together; he should've known it'd been too good to be true. "Nnnghnn...!"

"What's that, anyway?"Shego asked, leaning over him.

"That's not for you to look at." Drakken said pointedly, turning away and closing the book so she couldn't see the notes.

"Are those the plans for your botany thing?"She went on, hooking her chin over his shoulder, her tone becoming more curious.

"Yes,_ okay_? But they're not ready yet, nothing to look at—"He insisted, waving the notebook.

Frowning, Shego bent down and quickly snatched it out of his hand. There was a cry of outrage before Drakken scowled deeply at her. "Give that back! I said it's not _ready_!"

"Just a little _sneak peak_…!"Shego sing-songed, stepping gracefully out of the way as he made an attempt at lunging for her.

Shego laughed and Drakken growled as they dodged and weaved across the lab in a parody of a dance, Shego always keeping the notebook _just_ out of Drakken's reach.

Eventually, Drakken decided that he'd had enough, and grabbed Shego's arm, pulling her back towards him.

"Hey!"She yelped.

He was sufficiently taller than her to be able to lean over her shoulder and grab the notebook while she was still surprised at the unexpected maneuver.

"Gotcha!"Drakken declared in triumph as he managed to pry it from her, struggling to hold her still as she squirmed in his grasp. Drakken just hoped she wouldn't decide to throw him across the room or something; he knew he'd only managed to hold her at all because it had been a sneaky move from behind and because she'd probably expected him to be weaker than he was, which was, while not even close to _her _strength, probably stronger than _she_ thought, anyway.

Shego grunted as she wrenched her hand free. She hadn't expected him to do that. It was more aggressive than what he usually was. Oh, well, she thought, giving a mental shrug, these kinds of things would be more fun if he put up a fight, anyway. Maybe he _was_ growing bolder when it came to physical conta—

Her eyes shot open as she felt the blunt point of something hard poking against her bottom—

She gave an undignified squeak as she leaped away from him. "What the…?" She demanded as she shivered slightly, her voice going hoarse and trailing off with shock.

"Hmm?" He looked down, following her gaze, and blinked as he caught sight of the bulge in his lab coat. "What?" He frowned at her as he pulled out a large remote control from an inner pocket. "This? It's just the remote control to the—"He halted as he saw her severely reddening face and slowly realized what _she'd_ thought it was—

"Shego!" He scolded her, sounding utterly scandalized.

Shego just stared at him, struck speechless as she felt her face turn painfully hot; blushing wasn't something she did often, and certainly not in front of _this_ doofus and _certainly_ not as fiercely as this. Now it wasn't about the awkwardness and embarrassment she'd felt when she'd thought he'd actually gotten an erection over her anymore— no, now it was all about a fresh assault of utter humiliation, because now he was looking at her as if he found the very concept of actually becoming aroused over her of all people completely inconceivable.

The blue doctor had _'what were you __**thinking**__?'_ written all over his face.

He didn't look _disgusted_, it wasn't that, but he just looked so _shocked_ that it embarrassed the life out of her.

She felt cornered, suddenly. "Uh...s-see you later," She stuttered before she turned on her heel, leaving for her room just a little too quickly.

Drakken stared curiously after her.

He'd never seen Shego blush like that before.

Shego was very rarely embarrassed apart from the usual 'curses, foiled_ again_' type of irritated embarrassment, and she certainly never turned red like that. She didn't have the habit of getting so embarrassed she needed to _flee_, either.

What in the world was going on?

And how could she think he'd react in such a way simply over a little scuffle to get his plans back? He'd had to wrestle like a damn third-grader with her over things before, and he'd never been affected by it in any inappropriate manner, so why would she think—?

Heck, she often even paraded in front of him in nothing but a swimsuit and he never said anything about that, either, so why—?

Why now?

What kind of man did she take him for, anyway?

And why was she still upset even after she'd realized her suspicions had been incorrect?

It didn't make any sense to him at all. Things should've been back to normal once she realized that he wasn't— that he hadn't been—

Right?

* * *

**Self-esteem, Part III**

* * *

Shego clutched her head as she sat down on her bed, trying to steer her thoughts towards other, less disturbing subjects, but failing. 

When she'd seen it, of course she'd realized that it had to be something else, but for a second, when she'd felt something hard through the thick, soft layers of his lab coat—

What_ was_ wrong with her? Had it been so long for her that she couldn't even tell the difference between a remote control and a man's—

It wasn't that she couldn't, well…get _laid_ if she wanted to; there were plenty of men who'd love to get with such a pretty, nubile woman like herself, but for some reason, the thought of something like that had begun to seem less and less appealing. Lately, the thought of one-night stands tended to feel not only meaningless, but lonely and depressing, too. And she'd simply failed to meet anyone worthwhile for a long time, anyone to actually consider something _more_ with...

...and just what was wrong with being aroused over_ her_, anyway?

She_ was_ attractive, wasn't she?

She_ knew_ she was.

What was he, _gay_? No, no, that wasn't it— he was _impotent_. Yeah, that was it, she thought with a kind of vengeful pettiness; that had to be it. That would be so _perfect_...!

Because it couldn't be because he found her unattractive. That just wasn't even an option.

He was a big, blue geek while _she_ was— _well, just look at me!_ Shego thought irritably as she struck a pose in front of her full length mirror—

—and immediately halted as she realized she was acting ridiculously. Posing in front of her mirror like some kind of insecure teenager, pouting and tilting her hip in a sad attempt to reassure herself that such a thing as a man who didn't find her attractive didn't even exist— especially not her megalomaniac college dropout dork of a_ boss_?

What was wrong with her?

Well, she _was_ kind of _pale_, she knew that...

Shego frowned closely at herself in the mirror, and to her disgust she found that she really looked quite tired. Was she developing rings under her eyes? But she always made sure to get her beauty sleep and— and oh shit, was that a _wrinkle_? Was it true what the cheerleader's sidekick had said that one time? Did she really look old?

Had she been tanning herself too often? Wasn't that stuff supposed to have a negative effect on the skin sometimes?

And what was the point of tanning at all if she just stayed as pale as ever?

Sighing irritably, she looked down at her chest to get the focus off of her pale, possibly-wrinkling face— and halted, staring at herself for a second, before carefully prodding at her chest, her eyes wide. Was it just her imagination, or had her breasts gotten _smaller_?

Had she been working too hard and not eating enough, was that it?

Frowning hard, she looked at herself in the mirror again, shifting her weight from foot to foot. And what about her hair? It was so inconveniently long and big; he was always complaining about it, should she—

No.

No, there was nothing wrong with her.

Shego gritted her teeth; no, what was wrong with _him_?

And why in the world was she worried about looking old in front of Dr. D, of all people? The guy was like fifteen years older than her!

Yeesh.

Shaking her head, she turned on the radio, fiddling with the tuner until she stopped when some obscure indie music caught her attention, making her blink with the strange sounds of the song. She wasn't much into experimental, alternative music, she preferred pop and hip hop. She was about to change the station again when a snippet of the lyrics made her pause.

_You've gotta hope that there's someone for you_

_As strange as you are_

_Who can cope with the things that you do_

_Without trying too hard_

Scoffing in disgust, she was quick to turn the channel.

She didn't recognize the artist this time, either, but it was instrumental, so there was no risk of any disturbing lyrics and—

_It's so embarrassing to need someone_

_Like I do you  
_

_How can I explain?  
_

_I need you here  
_

_And not here, too_

What the...? Was fate out to _get_ her or something today?

Growling, she picked the radio up and promptly melted it.

Drakken would probably just give her money to buy new stuff like always, anyway.

For some reason, though, that fact only made her even angrier.

* * *

And just like that, as if someone had flipped a magic switch somewhere or something, there was a whole new kind of tension between them. It'd been there to some degree before, but now— 

And why was she hur— no, _offended_ over the fact that he hadn't been aroused over her after all? She _should_ feel relieved, but she was just...

It was too disturbing to be around him after that, so she disappeared for a day or two, and when she came back, she'd half expected him to reprimand her as usual, but when he found her sitting in the kitchen, he only kind of...sidled up to her in a guarded, unsure sort of way, and that was when she knew he was going to bring up what had happened the other day. She was just contemplating whether to leave again when he spoke.

"Shego?"

"Hmm?"

Drakken took a step forward, halting. "Uh…are you okay?"He asked tentatively, wringing his hands just a little. "I mean, are you mad?"

She just gave an unintelligible grunt, giving out no opinion one way or the other.

"Because if you _are_ mad, then I don't even know why."He let out a sigh, scratching his cheek. "I really don't understand what's going on here."

"When do you _ever_?" She muttered moodily.

"Shego!" He objected, offended.

"It's nothing," she said dismissively, turning away.

Drakken shook his head in resignation. He supposed he hadn't _really_ expected to get any sort of agreeable response from her, but he never stopped trying, did he?

She was sarcastic, rude, unmotivated and totally immune to any sort of enthusiasm, and most of the time she reminded him of some sort of lazy, insolent teenager with the way she was always just lounging about not doing a lick of work until he yelled at her or reminded her that he was in fact paying her to do something.

The only few times she actually took the initiative to do anything was when there was an exciting fight in it for her, and even then she might pretend to be unwilling to do her job just to make him sweat a little. Before, she'd been more compliant, and she'd also been more involved in his schemes, but as time went by, she'd gotten more and more skeptical, and tired of their failures.

Even when she was genuinely excited about something, she still somehow managed to sound blasé and sarcastic, and he had no idea how she did it; it was only because he knew her that he could even make the distinction. Quite often, it seemed to him that his life was just a form of entertainment to her, as if she might as well have been watching TV as she filed her nails instead of listening to him talking; she amused herself by doing it, but a lot of the time she wasn't even really paying attention.

Even so, he was aware of the fact that a calculating, yet often flighty and overly grandiose mind like his required the stable influence that her cynical wit and solid common sense provided, for which he was grateful, and she did do the work required of her — without complaining— without which he'd have some trouble, as he'd noticed during her absence after he'd fired her.

And once in a while, when he actually managed to something just right, when he actually managed to impress her, she _was_ capable of showing enthusiasm.

And he knew that she cared, but she was so childish in her own way when it came to her emotional range; she was so bad at showing any kind of affection. The way she showed it reminded him of the slightly cruel, misguided way that a small, confused school boy would act when, unable to express himself differently, he pulled the pigtails of the girl he liked.

That was what it felt like to him. Like she was pulling his hair to show that she cared, only confusing and alienating him instead— of course, sometimes she _did_ even go as far as _actually_ pulling his hair...

Now, however, for some reason she'd dropped her mocking, playful behaviour and was avoiding him instead, and he had to wonder why.

But there was probably no reason to worry.

No reason.

* * *

**Intimacy, P****art VI or; Awkweirder and Awkweirder...**

* * *

This time she didn't go back to the lair on a Saturday because she was bored. Well, she _was_ bored, but she mostly went back to the lair because she was_ lonely_. Another date had been entirely pointless, and she was _lonely_. It was true what they said, apparently; all the decent guys were already taken. 

And when you had pale green skin and superpowers and was wanted in over a dozen countries, it was even harder to get a date, no matter how hot you were.

This time, the date had gone so badly that she'd realized to her own dismay that she'd begun longing for Drakken's company even before the first course was put on the table at the restaurant. She'd take Drakken any day over a guy who was either too incredibly stupid not to notice or who just didn't care that he'd just kept on talking and talking about himself and never let her get a word in edgewise— on a first date, no less!

Drakken loved to rant, but he usually paused in between for her opinion, and it was obvious that he was actually affected by what she said as well.

At least he was bizarrely fascinating enough to bother listening to— except for when he went into his endless speeches about the grudges he held over things that had happened during his school years, which was not only uncomfortable to listen to, but quickly became a yawn fest. Yes, Drakken was quite unlike Thomas Perkins from accounting, who had to be one of the driest and most unoriginal individuals she'd ever met in her entire life.

Not to mention that it had become painfully apparent that for Thomas Perkins, being an accountant for a super villain was just a job; he was a regular, non-evil Joe, and had no intentions of making a name for himself in the villainy business. He'd just taken the job because his brother Hank Perkins had recommended it. The dope didn't even seem to realize that he was talking to a woman who was a notorious criminal; he'd probably just figured she was some kind of strangely exotic-looking secretary or something. His ignorance reminded her of Mama Lipsky's obliviousness about Drakken's life; Thomas couldn't be following the news very well.

Why she'd ever gone out with him in the first place was beyond her comprehens— no, wait, it had been because he was surprisingly buff for an accountant and because she'd been feeling particularly lonely. Next time she'd tell herself not to be that desperate.

She didn't find Drakken in his lab, and when she walked into the common room of the lair, she was shocked to find her chest pinching with disappointment when she didn't see him anywhere. Where could he be?

…_he_ couldn't possibly have a date, could he…?

_Nah._

She glanced at her watch; well, it was getting to be kind of late, maybe he'd already gone to bed?

…in which case, she _certainly_ wasn't going to go bother him. There was no way she was going to suffer the awkwardness of actually going to his _room_, no matter how lonely she was; there was absolutely no way she could possibly pull that off nonchalantly. If she actually went to his _room_ one late Saturday night, there would be no doubt that it was _him_ specifically that she wanted to see, and not that she just wanted to hang out in the lair because she had nothing better to do.

Sighing, she turned to go when she heard a soft snort coming from the direction of the couch, and when she turned back, she saw a foot sticking out over the armrest, a foot wearing a black sock, a bit of blue skin peeking out between the sock and the hem of the pants.

The sense of relief was so instant and so overwhelming that she had to wonder what she'd been reduced to if her idea of happiness was finding that she still had _Drakken_ to hang out with after a date had gone south on a lonely Saturday night; but then she found she didn't really care.

She approached the couch with elation in her heart, smiling a little despite herself. The television wasn't even on; he'd probably been working on some weird project as usual and had been so tired that he'd simply collapsed on the couch instead of bothering to go to his bedroom.

_Lucky for me_, she thought, her eyes softening of their own volition as she came around the couch and saw him sprawled out carelessly, arms and legs flung haphazardly here and there, his hair a frightful mess, free of its usual ponytail, his mouth hanging slightly open and his expression one of relaxed, dormant bliss.

_He needs me,_ she thought irrationally— it was the weekend, after all, so he wasn't even really her boss then, and didn't actually_ need_ her, per se— but the thought warmed her despite its banality, and she took a few steps closer.

"Dr. D?" She called as she tugged on his pant leg to rouse him from his slumber.

He only snorted in his sleep and rolled halfway over.

"Dr. D…!" She tried again, this time pinching his leg, her voice growing more impatient.

"Uh…?" He mumbled sleepily as he finally stirred, peering up at her owlishly. "Shego?" He croaked, obviously disoriented. "Is it Monday already?"He knew he'd been dead tired, having worked too hard on his new project lately, but surely he couldn't have slept through the entire weekend, right? Maybe he should ease up on the overtime...but he had such a good feeling about this plan...it was going to work this time, he could feel it in his bones...

Shego scoffed indelicately. "You should get out more, you know, maybe you wouldn't lose track of time like that." She jutted out her hip, shaking her head overbearingly at him. "It's still Saturday night."

"Ah." He said flatly, picking himself up and rubbing his eyes a bit self-consciously with the knuckles of one hand as he made an attempt at smoothing out the wrinkles of his T-shirt with the other.

If Shego was going to make a habit out of abandoning her dates and coming to the lair on weekends looking all freshly coiffed and made up and dressed like that, he'd be forced to stop dressing in old sweats. It was comfy, but now he felt so...he looked like some kind of partied-out college bum while _she_ looked like...well.

The woman could look good in a burlap sack, and she certainly looked elegant in the black dress pants and white, formfitting dress shirt she was wearing. It was the first time he could remember seeing her in anything besides green or black. The white shirt made her skin look greener than usual. He wasn't sure what the average guy would think of that, but in his opinion, it was a rather striking effect.

"Now move, I wanna sit," she ordered, plopping down on the couch as he moved. Making herself comfortable, she grabbed the remote and switched the TV on.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" He asked groggily. "Didn't you have a date?"

"Sure, I had a date. It was a blast." She said, letting extreme sarcasm broadcast her feelings on the matter. "Yay for the date." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and leaned back on the couch. "Great guy— we're getting married next spring, and we're planning on having eight kids."

He opened his mouth, a look of horror on his face, but then shut it again. Obviously, he'd been able to tell that she was being sarcastic this time.

"I snuck out through the bathroom window before we'd even gotten to the dessert," she confessed with a grin that was part self-satisfaction and part embarrassment, as she idly zapped from channel to channel.

"Poor guy," he commented carefully, but she was surprised to see that a relieved smile was working its way across his lips, only growing in size as something seemed to dawn on him.

She glared at him suspiciously, wondering what was so funny. "What?" She demanded sharply.

"What 'what'?" He asked curiously when he noticed her pissed off look.

Her lips pursed with impatience. "You…you're_ smiling_." She complained, putting behind the words the same kind of attitude someone might apply to something like 'you're picking your nose'.

He blinked. "Am I?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at him. "What's up with that?"

He cleared his throat, looking puzzled, as if he didn't even know the answer himself. "Nothing." Shaking his head, he groaned slightly and leaned back, rubbing his face to wake himself up a little more.

When no answer seemed to be forthcoming, she slumped back again in a huff, annoyed at his cryptic behaviour. "Nice T-shirt, by the way," she commented ironically, nodding at his chest, which said: 'My_ Cool_ T-Shirt is in The Dryer'.

"Uh…yes." He mumbled, mildly embarrassed at the attention. He supposed it had been too much to hope she wouldn't comment. It was just an old T-shirt he'd thrown on because he hadn't felt bothered to get properly dressed since he was just going hang around the lair, anyway, but it didn't do to let your employees see you like that, dressed in sweats and a dorky T-shirt. It didn't exactly command respect— but then again it'd been a long time since he'd actually received any real respect from Shego. She knew him too well to take him too seriously, and besides, she'd already seen him in an outfit much like this one only a few months ago. "It's one of the many overpriced, useless items I bought off of the internet that time I had the buffoon's money…"He added, looking down.

Oh, well, Drakken thought as he sent her a sideways glance, the damage was already done. She'd seen him like this, and she didn't seem to care, so why should he? And why should he care even if she _had_ cared?

Shego rolled her eyes when she remembered his reckless money-squandering. Then she groaned as she changed the channel. "Ugh, British television— nothing but small town cop shows— wait, is that..._Red Dwarf_?"

Drakken blinked at her incredulously. "_You_'_ve_ seen Red Dwarf?"

She gave him a narrow-eyed look. "No. I have_ not_." She said with deliberate slowness. "Because that would be a geeky thing to watch."

He backed off slightly; he hadn't expected her to get so defensive about it. "Right, right, gotcha."He mumbled. Looking down, he patted the couch cushions, looking for the elastic band that usually kept his hair back. It must've slipped off while he was sleeping. Finally, he found it, and pulled his hair back into its usual ponytail, feeling a little better.

They sat in silence for a while.

"You often get these kinds of shows late at night."He remarked, just to have something to say. "Reruns, you know."

"Mm," she nodded absently.

"Who's your favourite character?"He asked casually, in another attempt at idle conversation. For some reason, there was that kind of silence that needed to be filled up with words.

She gave him an odd, lopsided frown. "Favourite—? Oh, for pete's sake, I don't have one."

"Right," he said nonchalantly, playing along. "Mine's Rimmer."He added sneakily, trying to keep his voice bland.

She scoffed. "_Figures_. He _would_ be your favo—"She paused, staring at him. "You know what? We're not even having this conversation."

His brow rose. "What_ now_?"

"It's just that when you're having a discussion about characters from an old sci-fi show at eleven thirty on a Saturday night, you kinda have to wonder if your life has hit a new low."Shego told him bluntly.

He pouted. "You could've still been on your date, you know. Nobody forced you to come here."

"Please!"She made a face, raising her shoulders as if trying to hold back a shudder. "That date was horrible! Every time the guy opened his mouth, I felt like my brain was going to melt and trickle out my ears!"

He grinned, suddenly, looking a bit smug. "So you're saying that hanging here with me is better than being on your date?"Well, well, well, _this_ was certainly an interesting development...! It wasn't often that he got something to tease Shego about or even the smallest chance to catch her off balance, so when he did, he usually took every bit of advantage of it. It was always fun to turn the tables on his lippy sidekick.

That made her pause. "Look, I—"

"It's kind of funny, you know." He mused, trying to take on that falsely innocent tone that she so often employed when mocking him. "You complain and complain about being here, yet you're not leaving..."

She pursed her lips tightly, provoked. "Now don't you be getting any funny ideas—"She began, a note of warning in her voice.

The truth, though, was that she was worried that _she herself _had been getting funny ideas. Tonight, she hadn't actually been a hundred per cent certain whether she'd ditched her date because she'd only been bored with the guy or because there had _already_ been another place where she'd rather have been to begin with, another guy she'd rather be talking to...and she'd also wondered, troubled, if this had actually been the case on the last date she'd been on as well...

Drakken leaned back, stretching his arms behind his head. "So that must mean that either you're a twisted kind of masochist, or you secretly enjoy my company."

Shego sent him an outraged, angered look; she was going to kill the smug little---! "You're such a deluded, stupid—"

"I don't mind either way, though," he said cheerfully, cutting her off. "It's nice to have some company on a Saturday night, even if you're all moody." For some reason, he suddenly found himself unable to take the mocking further. Instead, he was telling the truth. _Oh well,_ he thought, mildly surprised at himself, at least that made him the bigger man, so to speak. At least he knew when to stop, unlike her.

That deflated her; he wasn't usually big on the kind words—neither of them were. "In this case, Dr. D..." She said reluctantly. "In this _one_ case, yeah...hanging out here is better than being on my date."

He smiled at her, looking pleased as he reached for the popcorn bowl.

"You should've seen the guy, though," she added quickly, looking at him suspiciously. "He talked non-stop about himself and he had the most droning, awful voice, and he actually wore a grey tie with a grey shirt and a grey jacket! And grey pants! And grey shoes! And they were all the _same shade of grey_! How is that even _possible_? I'm sure he would've even dyed his hair grey if somebody gave him the idea! I really don't think he's quite grasped the concept of what a 'matching outfit' is."

Drakken stared at her as something dawned on him. "Wait...was it Thomas Perkins? From accounting?"

Shego cringed, nodding.

"Now that's kind of sad," Drakken muttered, mostly to himself. "How can even _Tommy from accounting _manage to get a date, and I can't?"

The man was an absolute bore; if it hadn't been for the fact that he'd been a complete wiz with numbers and mostly kept to himself, Drakken would've thought twice about hiring him. As to why Shego would ever consider dating Thomas Perkins, well...that was a complete mystery to him. What could she have possibly seen in him to even consider giving the guy a first date?

Even if she ditched him, what in the world had she even been thinking, agreeing to go out with him in the first place? Her taste in men had always baffled him, whenever he'd considered the matter. She didn't seem to have a certain type; it seemed to be completely random whom she dated. Well, there was the fact that she usually went after the bigger and buffer men, but as far as looks or personality went...well...it very confusing...he couldn't see the logic...

"The only way _you're_ ever gonna get a date when you never leave your lab during weekends is if you get yourself one of those mail order brides," Shego mocked.

Dragged out of his jumble of thoughts, Drakken was about to snap at her for insulting him, but suddenly decided to try a new approach. "Hmm...mail order brides..."He mumbled, rubbing his chin, as if seriously considering the idea.

Horrified, she slugged his arm. "Uuuggh, don't even _go_ there!"

"Oww," he complained, "I was only kidding!"

"Hah!" She scoffed. "It _does_ sound like something that you might try, Dr. Robot Girl,"

His jaw went slack. "Wha— are you meaning to imply that I— Shego! Is _that_ why you think I built them?" What did she _think _of him? Again, he had to wonder what kind of man she took him for. He'd never really considered what she might think of his...personal life, in that manner, but now he had to wonder. Did she think he was some kind of sexual deviant or something? What _was_ her deal?

"Wouldn't be surprised." She grinned, joking.

"Honestly!"He huffed. "Get your mind out of the gutter, woman!"

"I _like_ the gutter," she purred, laughing when he started inching nervously away from her. Secretly, she preened to herself; this was so much fun, bothering him was _such_ good entertainment! She was starting to be glad she'd decided to stay at the lair.

"Well, get _out_ of it, anyway," Drakken muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Done, Chief."She promised cheerfully, grinning.

He gave her a distrustful glance before he returned his attention to the TV.

After a while, Shego looked down; his forearms were nice. She'd noticed that the last time as well, because he very rarely wore short sleeves, and so she'd basically never really looked at his forearms before, but now she was allowing herself to actually think about it.

They were blue, of course, and just slightly hairy; she made sure to 'accidentally' brush her wrist against his arm when she reached for her cup of tea. His arm was warm and solid, hard and soft at the same time. She saw him shift slightly at the contact, but otherwise he didn't react.

Not caring, she finally leaned against his shoulder, and heard him let out a surprised, irritated sounding breath.

"Not_ this_ again!" He complained, squirming a little in a futile, half-hearted attempt to remove her.

Her grin was self-satisfied. "Yep. This again."

Silence.

He scowled at her out of the corner of his eye. "You _do_ know I'm not a piece of furniture, right?"

She shrugged. "Sure. Furniture isn't usually this annoying. Now be quiet."

He looked provoked at that, opening his mouth as if to say something, but quickly shut it again, his body tensing up in protest against her behaviour, as if he was trying to make it less comfortable for her the best he could.

Shego only smiled and stretched lazily, resting against his side; he was comfy no matter how much he tried not to be.

Drakken sighed. He was sure he was never going to figure her out. How could she be doing this again after how awkward it had been the last time? And how could he let her? Well, he supposed he wasn't exactly _letting_ her do this, since she was much stronger and all, but he was sure if he _really_ tried, he could manage to pry her off of himself, but strangely enough...he just didn't feel like it.

The lair was slightly chilly, he was only wearing a T-shirt, and she was a nice, warm weight against his bare arm. Gradually, he felt his body sag as he relaxed slightly. She wouldn't try to get a raise this time, he was sure. She wouldn't be stupid enough to try that again. And if he wasn't acting like he was uncomfortable with this, she couldn't mock him, she couldn't blackmail him. He'd just have to beat her at her own game, pretending to be all unaffected.

It was kind of hard, though, with the smooth material of her blouse shifting slightly against the tiny, sensitive hairs of his arm, her cheek leaning on his shoulder, her hair brushing his ear, and the scent of her perfume in his nose.

Maybe if he faked a sneeze, acting as if he was allergic to her perfume, she'd move. Knowing her, though, he'd probably have to sneeze right in her face to actually get rid of her. She was such a stubborn woman.

He decided to just try to ignore her presence and concentrate on the TV show instead.

On screen, Lister and Rimmer appeared to be drunk...and had arrived at that stage of drunkenness where they'd began craving bizarre types of fried food; in this case, some sort of weird kind of sandwich.

"_It's like a cross between food and bowel surgery." Rimmer exclaimed, sounding both fascinated and disgusted at the same time._

"_It's well naughty." Lister nodded. "The trouble is you've got to eat it before the bread dissolves."_

"_I could never invent a sandwich like this, Lister." Rimmer told him honestly, speech slurring a bit. "You see all the ingredients are wrong. The fried eggs: wrong; the chutney: wrong. The chili sauce: all wrong. But put them together and somehow it works. It becomes right. It's you -- this sandwich, Lister, is you."_

"_What are you saying to me, Rimmer?"_

While Drakken looked attentively at the screen, Shego's gaze slipped away and refocused itself on Drakken's face.

She looked closely at his facial features, considering all the aspects of them, his overlarge ears and his prominent chin, his mouth, quirked with suppressed laughter, his small, hooked nose, his smooth cheeks, his high, sharp cheek bones, his severe, black eyebrows that grew too closely together, his oddly luscious, long, dark hair, and his expressive eyes, made all the more intense by the dark circles around them, a sure sign of sleepless nights. As she regarded him, all the good and all the strange things she saw that made up his blue-skinned, familiar face, she saw what she already knew, that he was far from a classically handsome man, but that it didn't really matter, because classically handsome men had become surprisingly boring lately.

He smelled good. He had a comfy body to lean against and hair that was fun to play with. He wasn't supposed to be or have those things.

He was just supposed to be ridiculous, socially inept and immature Dr. Drakken, who could never get a date and was lame beyond the telling of it— so why did she enjoy his company more than anybody else's and why couldn't she even imagine working for someone else instead anymore?

As she looked at him, she finally came to the conclusion that— like the ingredients that compiled that ridiculous triple fried egg-chili-chutney sandwich— all those features actually _worked _despite it all, and managed to make up a face that she perhaps wouldn't mind kissing.

And not just his appearance. Him, as a person, he worked. He appealed to her, in more ways than one. And she hadn't, at least not consciously, thought he could. Not like that.

And that surprise of a thought caused her chest to feel constricted, because she was sitting right next to the guy, her body touching his, even, and all he could think about it was that she was being annoying. He wanted her to move away.

That made her feel careless, suddenly, filled her up with petty defiance; she wanted to make him feel every bit as discomfited as her, or maybe even more. She felt nauseous and hot with anger, shock and embarrassment; she wanted to punish him for making her think something like that about him, even though it wasn't technically his fault.

Setting her jaw with grim determination, she put her hand on the outside of his thigh— just enough to make him uncomfortable, but not enough for him to be able to complain about it without sounding like he was overreacting— and started playing innocently with the ends of his ponytail, burning a hole in his face with her eyes while he tried very hard to just look stiffly straight ahead.

It didn't take long before he broke down, anyway.

"You know," he said grumpily, looking thoroughly un-amused, "if the situation was reversed and you were me and I were you—"

"—we'd know we'd mixed up the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer and the laser cannon with the cable TV again and had just dropped into an episode of The Twilight Zone?" She asked dryly, and he gave an annoyed grunt.

"No! What I _mean_, Shego," He snapped, "is that if I were a woman and you were a man and you were my boss and you were acting like you're acting right now, I'd be suing you for sexual harassment in the workplace!"

He'd expected her to be shocked or at least that she'd get mad and move away, but she only laughed out loud.

"Oh, yeah?" She smirked mercilessly, deliberately pressing herself closer, "You think this is sexual harassment, huh? _I'll_ give you something to _sue_ about." She went on, fully intending to freak him out totally as she breathed exaggeratedly against his neck and ear in a parody of sensuality, squishing her ample breasts into his upper arm.

Drakken felt his body twitch as he held back a gasp, his eyes going large and round with shock. It was as if someone had run an electric current through his body— and he knew what _that _felt like. His hands shaking, he tried to breathe, but he felt like he was being strangled.

She took immense, wicked amusement from the panicked look on his face then, and giggled maliciously as he trembled, but she hadn't expected him to freak out as _much_ as he did, because he suddenly sprang up from the couch, apparently not even considering that she was still hanging on to him, and he overbalanced as she squeaked and tried to avoid falling by pulling on his arm, and they ended up tumbling inelegantly onto the floor together.

Just as she was about to get up and even considered helping him up as well since she was the one on top, she froze on her hands and knees as he squirmed uncomfortably beneath her and she felt something brush against her thigh that she really hadn't expected to feel. Her stomach did a flip at the scary, yet somehow appealingly hard and hot sensation, and her flabbergasted gaze met his, which seemed mortified and deathly afraid.

Drakken stared up at Shego, his mouth falling open as he tried to speak, but failed. How was he supposed to explain himself now? After this, she probably _would_ think that he was— what would she think of him _now_? He waited for the predictable outburst of violence, but she only stared down at him, looking every bit as shocked and even...as_ frightened_ as he felt, and was sure he _looked_, too.

She just kind of...hovered above him for several agonizing seconds, her thigh touching his...his— why wouldn't she just _move_?

Drawing a breath, she finally moved away from him carefully and sat up on her knees on the floor, touching her hair self-consciously, not even daring to clear her throat. Had it been anybody else and had the situation been any different, she could've beaten the snot out of them. But now she couldn't, so then she didn't know what to do.

This time, he certainly didn't have any remote controls in his pocket. Even if there _had_ been any doubt in her mind about what she'd felt, the look on his face told her everything she needed to know.

Now that she'd done that, she had no idea why she had. It was like...like she'd suffered from temporary insanity or something. She hadn't thought about what she was doing, she'd only wanted to bother him, to provoke him, make him uncomfortable— she hadn't considered the consequences at all; she'd been so caught up in her anger.

The silence grew long and very, very uncomfortable as they stared into each others' faces, transfixed.

It was, understandably, he who cracked first. "S-sorry, I…didn't mean…it was an…an accident…." He apologized lamely as he climbed stiffly back onto the couch and sat down, as if he'd broken her favourite cup or something. How in the world did you apologize for an erection, anyway?

She gave him an odd look, mustering up all of her usual, unaffected Shego-ness as she sat down on the other end of the couch. "An _accident_?" She asked in a sharp, skeptical tone, almost feeling bad for him when he flushed and flinched slightly at her voice.

He said nothing, only half-turned away from her, awkwardly placing one of the throw pillows across his lap.

All the fire went out of her then, and she only stared impotently at some point below his ear, where his neck met his jaw line, her head swimming.

"You don't have to come in to work on Monday," he said eventually, his voice strangely thick.

"What…?" She said softly, her voice turning incredulous. "I don't have to— what…? Are you _firing_ me? _Again_?" She added in a more demanding tone. He finally turned his face back towards her again, and she saw the conflicted emotions warring for purchase there.

"No, I don't want to fire you, but...uh…Shego, I…if you don't want to…I mean, if you think it's awkward…you don't have to work for me anymore…" He said, swallowing almost audibly. Why was he even saying those words? How did this even happen? How did they get _there_ again?

Shego felt a lump form in her throat at his words, and had to swallow hard as well. "You mean you…think I should leave…?"

"Maybe you should."He nodded tentatively. He didn't want her to, but at the same time he had no idea how to deal with the situation. How were things ever going to return to normal after _this_?

"For good?" She asked disbelievingly. Oh, not _this_ again...she'd thought they were _over _this by now...!

He winced at that, and it ignited hope within her. "If…if you want to." he said haltingly.

Suddenly she got angry, provoked by all this stupid, walking-on-eggshells sensitivity— it was_ so_ not them! "Get over it, Dr. D!" She blurted, "Why are you even apologizing? You _know_ it was all my fault, anyway! What's _wrong_ with you? Stop acting so timid! _Yell_ at me or something, wontcha?" Leaning forward, she shook him insistently by the shoulder. "It was_ me_, okay? It was me being _stupid_! I mean, what did I _think_ was gonna happen? I just, I— just snap _out_ of it, okay?"

"You did this on _purpose_?" He demanded, some of his usual angry energy returning. What in the world had she been _thinking_? What had been the _point_ of that? Had she no self control when it came to her mocking? Would she do _anything_ just for a laugh?

She found herself with a face that was turning embarrassingly hot, and squirmed in her seat, her eyes not meeting his. "No, I…I guess I just wasn't _thinking_, you know? I mean, it was just supposed to be a joke, and I didn't realize that…something like _that_ would happen."

Drakken's anger collapsed abruptly in the face of something as unusual as actual remorse from Shego. "Well, that was very…very _thoughtless_ of you then, wasn't it?" He scolded her feebly, again falling into unfamiliar territory.

"Dr. D…" She sighed, wringing her hands in her lap. "I guess I'm…you know…uh...sorry."

"Um...yes, well...that's okay," he said quietly, awed that she was actually _apologizing,_ of all things, "I'll see you Monday." He added as he got up stiffly from the couch, sneaking past her and hastily crossing the floor, fleeing for his own quarters.

"Yeah...Monday..." She echoed, her head still spinning. Everything had happened so fast, and she was just glad she'd gotten out of it with her job intact.

* * *

_**TBC.**_

**Author's note:** Thanks again to my beta, Zoza, who never ceases to amuse me.

This chapter is set maybe a few weeks before the finale.

I wrote this because I felt as if something must've happened before the finale (not _this_, obviously, but _something_, anyway) to make things all awkweird between them— what with the almost-hug where Shego kept reaching for him and Drakken was the one to pull away before it happened...and to have caused Shego to suddenly be so defensive about liking Drakken.

No, I don't know Red Dwarf dialog by heart. I got it from an online script. Jeez. :D I don't mean to impose my taste in television shows on D & S, but I just really love that sandwich analogy, and how it fits Drakken. Also, I figured that Red Dwarf would be the kind of show that Drakken might enjoy, what with all the over-the-top, cheesy Sci-Fi technology etc. Also, the kind of sarcastic, understated humour they use on the show is something I'd imagine Shego might go for.

PS: Did I just write a songfic chapter? Nuuuuuuu...!!!

The first snippet of lyrics was from the song _Here We Go_ by Jon Brion, and the second was from _The Past Is a Grotesque Animal_ by Of Montreal.

* * *


	15. Sisyphus

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Achievement**

* * *

He was sitting in his recently built lab, busily experimenting with the plant growth formula, when she walked into the room. When he looked up, he saw that she wasn't wearing her usual black and green cat suit. She was actually wearing casual clothing; he could probably count on the fingers of one hand all the times he'd seen her in casual clothing. 

Whenever she dressed in something else, it was usually something formal or at least nice and dressy. Now she was wearing a black, short-sleeved top and jeans, and she was barefoot. He found himself watching her bare, pale, slender arms moving gracefully as she crossed the long floor to get to him.

"Dr. D?"

When she spoke, her voice sounded…different. Like she wasn't only talking to him because she was bored and wanted to tease him. She sounded serious, and just a little coy.

"Hmm?"He answered in a faraway kind of voice before he cleared his throat loudly. "What is it, Shego?"

Her smile was trying, yet slightly amused and persuasive. "Doc, why don't we blow this place, huh?"

Flabbergasted, he looked up at her. "What on _E__arth_ are you talking about? We've had enough lairs explode on us already, and we haven't even finished_ building_ this place yet! What good would—"

"Figure of speech, Doc, sheesh!"Shego groaned before she shook her head, seeming to decide to just ignore the little setback. "I mean, we could go on _vacation_," she suggested in a soft, appealing voice, her fingers finding their way down to his neck and his ponytail, tangling in his hair. "Just you and me." She went on, with a tiny, secret smile. "Wouldn't that be nice for a change of pace?"

His eyes went big and round at the sudden rise in temperature with her, going from casual to downright intimate, and he felt completely at sea all of a sudden. "Wh-what?"He babbled. "The two of us? Alone on a vacation together?"

"Right," she nodded firmly, suddenly all business, "you wouldn't want to have to pay for the henchmen's vacations too, now would you?"

"No…no, I guess I wouldn't…" He mumbled absently; it all just sounded so _reasonable_ now…!

"You're always so tense, Dr. D…" Shego murmured, slipping back into that oddly…_flirty _tone as she leaned closer to his face, her fingers starting to knead his shoulders. "You need to relax."

"That's…mmnn…" He sighed, finding himself arching into her touch instead of backing away, his eyes falling shut and his lips curling into a slight smile as she moved around to his back.

The shoulder massage went on for another moment or two, and Drakken was just beginning to think what a good idea a vacation was, when it stopped. He blinked, disoriented, as Shego came around to face him again, bending down and cupping his face in her hands.

She gave him a warm, lazy smile and he found himself swallowing hard. "Shego…?"

"Uh-huh?"She replied with a kind of gently teasing cheerfulness, and he gulped as her breath touched his face, the tiny hairs on his neck suddenly standing on end.

He grinned in a frozen, panic-ridden sort of way as her thumb started stroking his cheek. "Um, Shego," he let out a brief, lame laugh as he tried to pry her fingers off of his face with trembling hands. "I…I don't think…um, m-maybe this isn't such a good idea…"He stuttered, trying to scoot backwards. This reminded him of the Moodulator situation last year, except now she looked and seemed like herself; she wasn't all sugary and out of control. She seemed relaxed, but just a little anxious under it all, as if she wasn't quite sure if it was a good idea either.

Shego cleared her throat and glanced away as if trying to buy herself some time. "I don't think it's a bad idea," she said after a beat or two, grinning tentatively. "I mean, if we just do this a little…um, if we just take things slowly, then…"

"Wh-what things?"Drakken demanded in a small, hoarse voice, going for the last resort; feigning ignorance.

Shego rolled her eyes. "Well, _you_ know…I mean, doy, we both knew this was coming eventually, right?"

"N-no, no, I didn't," he insisted stubbornly, setting his jaw.

Shego faltered. "What?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about." Drakken said, his voice getting stronger as he stood up from his chair, towering over her. Suddenly she seemed so non-threatening as she looked up at him with big, uncertain eyes.

"Y-you…"Her voice wobbled a little before her eyebrows drew together in a deep, angry scowl, her teeth grinding together. "You jerk!"She exploded, and his eyes widened as she suddenly didn't seem so small anymore, her eyes practically shooting green fire. He was still taller than her, but he felt abruptly smaller inside, as if some ghostly hand had taken his lungs and stomach and compressed them into tiny lumps.

"Shego?"

"Just…forget _you_! I don't have time for this!"She barked, not even glancing back at him one last time as she started walking away. "I can't believe I've wasted all these years on a loser like you!"

Drakken found his legs moving out of their own volition as he took after Shego at a run, grabbing at her arm. "Shego! You can't just…Shego! No! Don't do this! No!"He called desperately, shaking her.

He felt hands clutching his own arms, then, and felt himself be shaken just as he had been shaking Shego— then he felt a sharp, stinging impact on his cheek and he blinked rapidly, completely confused.

His vision was a little blurry, but eventually, he managed to focus his gaze and make out Shego's face, frowning down at him. "What?"He asked groggily. He wasn't in his lab, he was on the couch in the living room, and she wasn't wearing casual clothes, she was wearing her usual green and black cat suit. His cheek hurt a little where she must've slapped him, but she looked more concerned than angry.

"What happened?"He demanded, snatching her wrist. "Is this some kind of magic trick?"

"Whoa!"Shego blurted, lowering his arms in an attempt to calm him down. "Maybe you should switch to decaf, Doc."

He gasped softly, staring up at her as it slowly dawned on him that none of what had just happened had in fact been real. She'd slapped him to _wake him up_. "Sh-Shego?"He said weakly, starting to feel embarrassed.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," she quipped ironically.

Drakken's frame shook a little as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to regain his bearings as he swung his feet onto the floor and sat up. He glanced up at her nervously, his shoulders descending and a small puff of air escaping his lips as she didn't appear to be annoyed at him.

Shego straightened her back, looking down at him inquisitively. "So, what was with all the yelling?"

Drakken cringed; so she'd heard him, huh? Just his luck! "I…I had a…nightmare. Yes. A nightmare. "

Shego swallowed, suddenly taken aback. He'd had a nightmare about her. About _her_. Because he'd been yelling her name, yelling for her not to do something…which had most likely been that she'd been hurting him somehow. Usually, she would feel smug and empowered by somebody fearing her enough to have her play a part in their nightmares, but now…now it didn't make her feel good about herself at all.

She'd always liked the fact that she could spook Dr. D sometimes to do what she wanted, especially if he thought she was really angry, but now…well, she'd just never expected him to…she'd never wanted him to see her as…to actually have her appear as something frightening in his dreams, because that was just— she wasn't quite sure _how_ she wanted him to see her, _what_ she wanted him to see her as, but with a sharp sense of clarity, she was aware now that _this_ certainly wasn't what she wanted.

Sure, it was always fun to make him a little nervous, tease him a little and keep him on his toes, but she didn't want his actual _fear_. She was beginning, in fact, to want his trust.

She was used to people being jumpy around her, and she normally found it amusing, but lately…lately a particular person being all squirmy and evasive and nervous and almost frightened around her wasn't amusing her at all. She didn't want it. It made her feel all knotted up inside, her chest and stomach all tight and cold…

"A nightmare in the daytime?"She asked in a dry tone, thankfully sounding unconcerned. She wasn't particularly tempted to ask him what the dream had been about.

"Well…a day-mare, whatever."Drakken groaned as he rubbed his face.

"A day-mare isn't a nightmare during the day, it's 'a distressing experience, similar to a bad dream, occurring while one is awake'."Shego went on, tilting her hip as she quoted the definition perfectly. Somehow, the pointless banter was making her feel better again. "You'd have to be awake to have a day-mare."

"Okay, okay, a bad dream! I had a bad dream! Whatever! "Drakken grumbled, shooting her a glare. "Don't start with me, I'm not in the mood!"

Snickering slightly, Shego shrugged as she went to the lab to run the hot tub and then to her room to change into her bathing suit. So much for another linguistic debate that she was sure to win! Oh well…

Drakken fumed, aimlessly following Shego as she left the room, his stomach churning with the perturbing dream and with how she couldn't even back off with her teasing when he said he'd just had a nightm— a bad dream. And now she was using the new hot tub, as if there wasn't work to be done! He should've never listened to her and had one installed right there in his work area!

The new lair was on a snow-covered mountain, and as such, it was a little colder than their usual lairs…and she'd complained about the temperature and had demanded a hot tub. When he'd insisted there was no room for it and had told her to just put on a sweater like other people if she was cold, she'd just looked at him as if he was some kind of screwball. And so he'd ended up with a damn hot tub in his lab. Her and her expensive tastes would ruin him one day.

Except…the dream hadn't been all bad, he thought, his mind running away with the almost soothing sounds of the water splashing into the tub. In fact, in the beginning, Shego had been quite…it had been very…

Drakken grunted and scowled as he realized he was wearing a sappy grin. Stupid! Shego would never act like that in real life!

_I can't be attracted to her_, Drakken thought, squirming a little as if trying to get rid of an itch without scratching it. _There'__s probably nobody worse__ to be attracted to._

It was ridiculous! He couldn't be attracted to _her_! It would ruin everything, because she certainly wasn't the type to settle down, and even if she was, she would only make his life even more complicated than it was now! She was hardly girlfriend material— she was as agreeable as a sack full of snakes and mongooses, as pleasant as a root canal and as sweet as a pitcher of grapefruit and vinegar lemonade!

Sure she was pretty, but so what? A lot of women were pretty!

Although there was something unforgettable about those full, dark lips when they gave that crooked smile, those green, challenging eyes, constantly evaluating him or being amused by him…

But he was sure there were pretty women who were nicer than her. There _had_ to be, even if his high school years had taught him differently; pretty women who were nice to _him _were few and far between indeed.

Of course, he thought then, his expression softening a little, maybe she wasn't all that easy to get along with, but she was also as a smart as a whip, realistic, strong in many different meanings of the word, talented at her job, fascinating, had a sharp sense of humor and never let his life get boring. And even if she was lousy at showing it, she cared about him. He'd figured out as much over the years, especially this last year, even if her favorite hobby_ was_ giving him a hard time. In little ways that were hard to notice at first, she would actually take care of him, back him up and even encourage him.

And how she'd acted these last few months…it was almost as if she _wanted_ to spend more time with him even if she didn't have to, almost as if she was appreciating him a little more…although it was kind of difficult to tell, because she wasn't being…well, _nice_. Or maybe she _was_ nice, only in a backwards, weird kind of Shego way. He had no idea.

But if she ever caught on that he was interested in her _that _way— which he _wasn't_!— she'd waste no time in taking advantage of it! She'd exploit it for all it was worth, and then she'd leave, she'd—

When she came back and stopped by the hot tub, Drakken glanced over at her, and was surprised to find her doing just the same. Then it dawned on him with a certain amount of embarrassment that he was just standing in the middle of the floor like an idiot, lost in thought. Frowning at him, she cleared her throat and looked away.

Unbidden, his eyes followed the silky movements of her long hair as she flipped it over her shoulder in an almost self-conscious kind of way. His gaze dropped down to her back, where one pale shoulder blade was now visible. Then the scrutiny traveled down the length of her long, slim, strong legs, but not before, with some shame, pausing briefly at her curvy behind. An abrupt, unsettling urge to touch her naked skin bubbled up in him, which he was quick to banish back to wherever it had come from. That wasn't something he should or could or wanted to think.

She would exploit him and leave…wouldn't she?

That's what she'd do if he ever said…right?

She was dressed in her green bathing suit, and was wearing a big bath towel as a kind of wrap-around skirt. She seemed reluctant to take it off, and there was a clear, tight moment of tension in the room as she looked back at him again.

Suddenly Shego, who'd been waltzing around in swim wear in his lairs from basically day one, wasn't comfortable with wearing one in front of him anymore. And it didn't take him long to figure out why. What had happened last week was still fresh in their minds, it seemed. Things had gone back to normal sooner than he'd expected, but now…now it seemed as if, for the while, they'd reverted to awkwardness again.

What was he doing gawking at her, anyway? It was clearly only making her feel even more ill at ease.

Drakken bit his lip, turning away to give her some privacy. He heard the towel dropping softly to the floor and the water moving about as she slipped into the bath, and tried not to look back.

"I'm going to go work on my project!" He blurted loudly.

He heard Shego give a little sigh behind him. "Any other announcements you wish to bestow upon your royal subjects today, your Majesty?"She said in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes! I do have some more announcements!"He exclaimed. "Control that lippy attitude of yours! And when you're done splashing around while other people are working, you can go call the contractors like I told you to!"

"I already did, while you were snoozing the day away." Shego said with a scoff. "They said the third floor would be done this weekend."

"Really?" He turned around, blinking.

"Yep." Her tone was flat.

And just like that, the tension between them snapped like an old rubber band.

"Well, that's excellent!"Drakken said, grinning, pleased more because he was able to look Shego in the eye again without awkwardness than because those lazy contractors had finally gotten their rears in gear. Shego was looking like Shego again, bored, irritated and sarcastic, instead of uncertain and shy. It only dawned on him now that he'd been bossy and obnoxious on purpose, just to get her to break the tension. Was this how she thought all the time? Did she always annoy him just to shape the dynamics between them however she pleased, to get him to react a certain way?

Drakken frowned; it was a kind of power, really. He was always so straight-forward, while she was sneaky; he'd only managed to manipulate her like that maybe a couple of times in the duration of their acquaintance. He'd have to study it further some another time.

Sometimes, though, it didn't seem to be as much about manipulation as it was about self-defense…

"Yeah, whoop de doo, they're actually_ doing_ the job they're getting _paid_ for."Shego muttered, shaking her head. "It's a miracle."

Sitting down at his desk and shuffling some papers around in an attempt to look busy, Drakken studied her surreptitiously as she swept her hair up from where it was draped like a black curtain over the tub's edge, pinning it up to keep it from getting wet before she closed her eyes and sank further into the hot bath, her bare shoulders peeking out of the water like small twin desert islands. The rising steam was already curling a few tendrils of hair around her face and was bringing a mild flush to her usually pale face.

The fact was that she wasn't just pretty, she was gorgeous. Attractive not only because of the way she looked, but for the way she moved, the way she carried herself and for the myriad of interesting— mostly self-assertive— expressions that crossed her face in the course of a day. Sometimes he hated the tilt of her chin, her unimpressed gaze, her sharp elbows and the way she cocked her hip in derision, but when those same things weren't directed at him, he could maybe even admire them.

But what did she think of him?

She'd called him cute a couple of times, but it had seemed like sarcasm, only intended to deflate his ego whenever he tried looking all cool and intimidating and villainous— nothing burst a man's bubble quicker than 'cute' in those kinds of situations.

As for what she _really_ thought about him, he had no idea.

He didn't really fuss over his appearance much— he was too busy to be vain— but knew he was in good shape. He was especially pleased to have such a body even at forty-two. He'd learned a few years ago that you had to stay fit if your life entailed running from the law and annoying teen vigilantes on a regular basis, so he'd invested in his own private little gym. He had to stay in shape if he wanted to keep up with Shego whenever they escaped, anyway.

He could still remember, in the first couple of months after she'd moved in with him and his henchmen, how out of condition he'd discovered he'd been. He'd had a good figure, but he couldn't follow her for all that long without having to stop to catch his breath if they were running or climbing. The memories made him cringe. He'd been so focused on his genius mind that he'd forgotten that a villain needed a body to match his mind if he expected to stay out of prison or even alive for long.

Shego had definitely been a big reason why he'd decided to start working out.

So, he knew he had a pretty good body; he hadn't been ashamed to appear in that shampoo commercial…well, not for his _body_, anyway, he thought and cringed again as more humiliating memories resurfaced. He hoped he'd never have to see that commercial ever again. As for his face, however…he knew his face would never win any beauty contests. He never really considered this much; it was _his_ face and _his _body, and he'd grown rather attached to them over the years, even the blue skin. He'd already traded them once with somebody else's, and he wasn't keen to do it again. He was a villain, he figured, and he was supposed to look like this. He didn't think he was ugly, just…not a pampering pretty boy.

He probably wasn't Shego's type, though, whatever her type was. He probably wasn't hip enough or cool enough or, come to think of it, young enough.

He was fifteen years her senior, something he didn't usually think about much since she so often had that unaffected school teacher vibe about her, treating him like a kid, but there it was. Maybe she wouldn't even consider him like that. Maybe he was just some old guy who happened to be her boss.

Or maybe she'd been acting completely odd lately and there was just no way there wasn't something going on.

But what if she was acting so strange because she was afraid that _he_ was attracted to _her_ and was repulsed by it?

…no, that couldn't be it, could it?

Could it?

And when it came to her, did he even want _her _to be attracted to _him_? Wouldn't that just be…weird?

Why was he even considering these kinds of things? There was so much he didn't know about her, he knew nothing about how she might act in an actual relationship, so how could he even be thinking of—

Drakken sent Shego another furtive glance.

He told her things about himself all the time, but she never talked much about herself or her private life. What if she had some weird favorite pastimes or disturbing hobbies or something? How in the world did she spend her time away from the lair, anyway?

He had no clue.

Tapping his chin in thought as he got up from his desk and took a few steps in her general direction, he sent her a lingering, curious look.

Finally, she looked up and noticed. She sighed; an eye roll seemed to be imminent. "What now?"

"Shego?" He asked, with a kind of fascinated horror as a terrible thought struck him; a memory of DNAmy. "You don't have a large, secret collection of cutesy stuffed toys, do you?"

Her eyes went large before her brow knitted in an incredulous frown. "Um, well, let's see here…how about _no_?" She grimaced with a kind of bewildered distaste. "Why in the world would you even _ask_ me that?"

He shrugged, shaking himself a little as if coming out of a trance. "No reason."

There was the eye roll now, as she leaned her elbow on the edge of the tub. "Please don't tell me you've finally gone_ completely_ fruit loops?"

"Nnngh!"He huffed, trying to get past the whole thing. "I was just wondering, that's all. Just a thought."

"Right." Shego said slowly, her look overbearing. "Call me when the shuttle has landed."

Drakken grunted and turned away from her. Why couldn't he just have asked her if she had any hobbies?

Stupid, stupid, stupid— he had better things to do! Important things! How in the world did he expect to complete his most glorious scheme yet if his mind kept being all muddled up by foolish thoughts like these? He wasn't some…some silly teenager! The only daydreaming he should be doing was dreams— soon to be reality!— of world domination!

Yes! That was it! He wouldn't think of her like that at all right then. If he absolutely _had_ to have these perturbing thoughts, if he couldn't get rid of them, he could just save them for later! He could think about all this in a few weeks' time when he'd conquered the world! Then he could give himself a day off to let his mind wander, if he even still felt like this!

Brilliant! He could simply post-pone it! If he only promised his brain he'd think about all this later, surely it would have to leave him alone!

Picking up his little schedule book from his desk, he thumbed through the pages until he arrived at a suitable date. _Tuesday,_ he wrote, _Remember to sit down and mull over repressed thoughts._

There! That should do the trick!

Feeling reinvigorated, Drakken took a deep breath and grinned, puffing up his chest as he pocketed the book. Really, there was no end to his genius!

Drakken strolled up to his work top with determination, "Shego…"He began in an absent-minded sort of tone as he sat down, starting to idly review his most recent project journal entry. "Have you ever heard the tale of Sisyphus?"

At the random topic, Shego sent him a puzzled look from the hot tub, but nodded. "The last time I was in Greece, I—um, yeah. I heard of it back in high school, too. " She cut herself off quickly as she caught the odd look in his eyes as he turned to her in his chair, saw his mouth tighten with discomfort. Bringing up what she'd been doing while he'd been stuck in jail obviously wasn't a very good idea. "This guy squealed on one of Zeus' many sordid affairs and thought he was smarter than the gods or something," she ventured, "and as punishment he was set to roll this rock that was bigger than himself up a hill down in Hades."

Drakken nodded. "Except the rock was enchanted, so it rolled right back down every time it reached the top, and he had to start all over again. And so the process went, on and on and on…"

"Right."

"And now, a pointless, repetitive task is referred to as Sisyphean."He said matter-of-factly.

Shego raised her eyebrows. "Um, not that I'm not enjoying your little story time here, but is this actually _going_ anywhere?"

"Exactly, Shego."He said gravely. "That's just the question. It_ hasn't_ been going anywhere. I've tried time and time again to conquer the world, but something has always gotten in the way."

"No duh." Shego sighed; she should've known. That was exactly how she'd come to talk about Sisyphus at all when she'd been in Greece. Midas had told her that she'd looked like she'd really needed a vacation, and, with his talented fingers working their magic on her back, she'd absentmindedly started complaining about her dead end career with Drakken.

It wasn't often that she got to rant a little to someone who simply listened. Midas had nodded and grunted now and then in sympathy, the way a bartender might, and finally, he'd said it reminded him of Sisyphus. Oh boy, what an uplifting thought _that_ had been! Was it really any wonder she'd been reluctant about working for him again at first?

Drakken scowled at her with defiance. "But this time, it's going to work."

Shego made sure her expression clearly broadcasted her cynicism on the matter. "I hear you _say_ it, but—"

"No, _really_, Shego!"He insisted, cutting her off, and the genuine certainty and eagerness in his voice surprised her. It didn't sound like simple bragging to cover up his own doubt, it didn't sound like his usual, tired spiel. The words were mostly the same, but the tone wasn't. "I have a good feeling about this one. I've never felt as good about anything as I do about this one. Not even the…the Little Diablo plan. "Here he winced briefly before he went on with more conviction. "My heart is in it this time, Shego, really in it. I've really been going over it this time, really thinking it through, and it's not just the plan-of-the-week. This is the _one_, Shego!"He added enthusiastically.

She was coming to notice that there was a certain gleam in his eyes that she hadn't seen for a long time, and she found herself almost starting to believe him. He sounded so sure.

He was standing up from his chair now, grinning hugely, and she nearly cracked a grin, too. "They won't be expecting this one! No death rays! No bombs! No robots! It's all a new thing! I'm going to open a big can of botanical whoop ass on them!"

She barely held back a snort at that last, cheesy line; he seemed so fired up that she didn't want to spoil it. If she didn't discourage him, maybe she'd finally get something exciting to do again.

"This time, Sisyphus is going to roll that rock all the way over the top—and it's going to tip over and it's going to keep rolling, and he'll be done!"Drakken declared triumphantly. "No more endless, fruitless repetition!"Drakken clenched his fist with resolve. "No more, Shego. I can't lose again."

She didn't know what to say except for something sardonic, so she didn't say anything, only shrugging. Besides, there'd be plenty of time to taunt him later, once she found out what his so-called fabulous new plan was.

Lost as he was in his own ambitions for the moment, he didn't seem to expect much of a response from her, anyway.

Stepping out of the bath, she wrapped herself up in her towel, left him to his work and went into the kitchen to switch the brewing coffee pot with decaf. She would do what she could for him. When he wasn't looking.

And just whenever she happened to feel like it, of course.

* * *

_TBC. _

**Author's note:** This was sort of an introduction to _Graduation_, which will be dealt with in the next chapter.

So now there's…probably two or three chapters left before _Maslow_ is finito. Happy reading, folks.

Woo, I updated in about three weeks this time instead of a month. Drinks are on me. Huzzah.

Ah, _Maslow_ is _such_ a thrill ride…all stuff like Drakken and Shego sitting around bantering while drinking caffeinated beverages…non-stop action, I tell ya.

I didn't have a beta this time. Feel free to point out my mistakes.

* * *


	16. Acceptance of Facts

**Maslow**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Acceptance of Facts**

* * *

Shego was bored.

And when Shego got bored, things happened.

She started reevaluating her life, for one thing. And she realized she was fed up.

"Dr. D!"She exclaimed, dragging him up from his spinny chair by the sleeve of his lab coat. "We've been stupid about this for way too long. Now let's just kiss and get it over with."

"K-kiss?"Drakken stammered, twiddling his fingers. "A-all right, I suppose…but um, let's have another cup of coffee first."

Shego sighed, but smiled. "Okay."

They had another cup of coffee.

Then, just when they were about to lock lips, they both died of sudden heart attacks caused by caffeine overdoses. Because they'd been doing nothing but drinking coffee and tea for the last good handful of chapters.

The henchmen found their bodies a few days later and buried them in the backyard.

**The End.**

* * *

**Author's note:** I haven't forgotten about _Maslow_, and I _will_ update it, but to be honest, it probably won't be until June or something. This was just to let you know that it will be a while— the lack of any updates lately doesn't mean that it will _never_ be updated, though. I'm just a little stuck on it right now, and I have my exam to think of as well.

So Maslow!Drakken/Shego will see you again this summer, okay?

Please keep reading my other D/S stories in the meantime, eh? Kekeke…

* * *


	17. THIRTEEN

**Maslow**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Respect, part IV**** and ****Food, Part V**

* * *

Shego had woken up with a new thought in her head that morning before they went off to their new lair— yep, a new lair _again_, and this one was too hot instead of too cold— and now it was almost dinner time and she still hadn't managed to shake it.

How could the notion of kissing him ever even have occurred to her?

He was bossy, irritable, uptight, arrogant, immature— and now he had a _flower_ growing out of his neck, too!

He'd claimed he'd win this time, he'd been even cockier than usual, he'd been so sure— and not only did he lose _again_, he ended up making himself look like— like _that_!

When she'd found out what his plan actually _was_, she'd had a feeling it would fail. But before that, she'd almost believed him.

Standing in the doorway of their new lair, she gazed wistfully out onto the surrounding beach. A swim would be nice right about now, but there were still boxes to carry. Usually, the henchmen did that sort of stuff, but Dr. D hadn't shipped them out there yet.

Behind her, Drakken was grunting and grumbling to himself, still looking for the box of kitchenware that he'd been trying to find for the last fifteen minutes.

Any minute now, Shego thought, sighing resignedly, he'd yell at her to stop slacking off or something, and order her to help him.

Shego turned away from the beach, sending Drakken a long, appraising look where he was now rummaging irritably through an overflowing cardboard box of what seemed like old notebooks.

He wasn't exactly a catch. He wasn't exactly the eligible bachelor of the month.

That was why it was so annoying that she was still hanging around, still mocking him in a way that was starting to feel more and more like flirting with each day that went by, bright yellow flower collar and all...

What did she see in this guy, anyway?

Sighing, she fished her nail file out of her leg pouch and started filing her nails as if it was a calming mantra, turning back to look at the beach.

_Hypothetically_, if they ever got together,_ in some other dimension somewhere_, he'd probably be the least romantic and least attentive boyfriend she could think of, always obsessed with his work— not to mention he'd be completely clueless about how she felt or what she wanted unless she practically spelled it out for him. For such a genius, he could be very slow on the uptake when it came to certain things.

If they were to date, he'd most likely take her somewhere hopeless, like out to karaoke again, and would sulk like a child if she wasn't content with his choice. He certainly wouldn't just be mature about it and ask her to suggest something else.

And taking a guy who had a huge, yellow flower popping up randomly around his face out on a date was sure to draw a crowd. That'd be humiliating. It would be murder for her reputation.

Her reputation wasn't what _really_ worried her, though. It was more about how he'd— _still all hypothetical, here!—_ treat her.

She could imagine that he'd manage to always say the wrong thing at the wrong moment, and he'd definitely not get any better at actually listening to her opinions even when it wasn't work-related. He'd still be trumping through his own will because he thought he was so damn smart and always right, and she'd give in because she'd be fed up and wouldn't bother to argue anymore. He'd only rant and rant every day, and never appreciate her.

And having to nurse his paradoxically big yet fragile ego would probably only get even more difficult if they were involved like that. Then he probably wouldn't just need confirmation of his 'evilness' and his 'genius', but encouragement about his looks, their relationship in general and maybe even about how he...how he was in bed.

Shego's movements froze as she was filing her nails.

Oh, good grief— that was the _last_ thing she needed to think about now!

No, no, no— argh, mental image-- jeez, no, not now, not ever, she was _not_ thinking about that, and especially not with him in the room with her— he'd see her squirm and would ask what was the matte—ugh, another mental image; mmm, that last one actually looked kind of intrigui— no, no, _no_—

"Gahh, no! Absolutely _not_!"

"Um...?"

She looked around to see Drakken gawking at her, and she looked back uncertainly. "Uh..."

"I only asked you if you wanted mushrooms on the pizza or not!" He told her, looking both annoyed and confused, and she stared at him; she hadn't even noticed that he'd been talking to her! "I had no idea you hated mushrooms so much!" He added reproachfully. "No need to yell!"

She was dumbfounded. He was standing there with his cell phone in his hand, asking her if she wanted mushrooms— asking for her opinion— on the pizza that he was apparently ordering for the both of them.

The Drakken that was standing in front of her at that moment didn't quite fit into the little box in her head marked 'inconsiderate'. That was almost...nice of him. Usually, he seldom seemed to think of her.

But other times, he seemed to have no qualms about showing her he cared. It unsettled her a little.

"Um..." She cleared her throat, her voice a bit husky when she spoke. "No, I was just thinking about something else. You just...go nuts with the mushrooms, Doc."

Drakken gave her a bewildered look, but shrugged. "If you say so." He said, putting the phone against his ear and walking into the next room. "Yes, we'll have the mushrooms...and don't skimp on the pepperoni this time!" She heard him say, a warning note in his voice.

"And a chef's salad!" She called after him, suddenly remembering how much he usually ate, and how fast. The last time they'd shared a pizza, during late night overtime, she'd barely managed to finish two slices before he'd polished off all the rest. When she'd objected, he'd retorted waspishly, pointing out that he'd been the one who'd paid for it.

"_And_ a chef's salad?" Drakken shouted, incredulous. "But Shego, you know the prices they charge, and— "

"Well, what _else_ do we have to eat around here?" Shego shouted back pointedly.

There was a loud grumble from the other room. "Fine! We'll have a chef's salad, too, thank you very much!"

* * *

"I can't believe it!" Drakken exclaimed, chucking the take out box onto the nearest available surface."They charge me an arm and a leg, they're ten minutes late, and now they haven't even sliced our pizza? I'm telling you, Shego, they think they can get away with anything just because they're the only company that'll deliver to secret evil lairs! They know it, and they _abuse_ it!"

Carefully lifting the lid of the pizza box, Shego peered inside, and indeed, they had not sliced the pizza. "Yeah, well...I guess it's one of the downsides to being a villain. People don't tend to give very good service to people who've destroyed parts of their city on more than one occasion..." She remarked dryly.

"Well, considering that I'm their future ruler, they _should_!" Drakken snapped. "Because I won't forget this, you know! Mark my word, the day will come when Pigro's Pizza will curse their own hubris! They will— Shego? Where did you put the kitchen knives?"

Shego sighed. "Somewhere over in _that_ pile...I think." She said reluctantly, pointing.

"Well, don't just _stand_ there!" Drakken ordered, ushering her towards the boxes. "Help me look! The pizza's getting cold!"

Five minutes and a lot of bickering later, she watched him cutting the now lukewarm pizza with precise, quick movements, saw the slender fingers gripping the knife tightly— and her mind wandered.

Something that might be considered a perk of ever having Drakken as a boyfriend— _completely hypothetically, of course!_— would be that she'd probably be able to ask for one of those marvellous foot rubs whenever she wanted. If she only complimented him enough on his skill, his ego would most likely make him unable to resist showing off.

Shego leaned back against the wall. He wasn't a very good fighter or a particularly physical man, but he didn't have clumsy hands. He used them all the time for complicated work like computer chips and chemistry, where his fingers had to be deft and talented.

If he was that good at foot rubs, maybe he could also be good at _other_ things...

"Gaahhh! Not again! No!"

Drakken gave her a look that mildly suggested he was beginning to fear for her sanity. "Shego?"

Shego blinked. "Eheh...did I say that out loud?"

* * *

**Self-esteem, part IV**

* * *

Sitting on beach chairs and putting their plates on a small plastic garden table they'd managed to dig up, they had their dinner out on the balcony because the lair was still crowded with boxes. They had a nice view of the beach as they sat and ate; Shego was already thinking of going for a swim later. It would definitely feel nice to get out of the constricting cat suit in this weather. If only she could remember where she'd put her bathing suit, everything would be peachy...

"Shego?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think it looks stupid?" Drakken asked, sounding somewhat bashful all of a sudden. "This flower thing, I mean."

Shego rolled her eyes; _here we go_. "You_ know_ it looks stupid, Dr. D."

A wounded pout turned up on his face. Why did she always have to be so...harsh? "Shego...!"

"If it hadn't looked dumb, you wouldn't be raving about it every time it appeared, would you?" She said reasonably.

He felt disheartened, but tried again. It couldn't be as bad as he thought it was, right? "No, but..."

"Oh, you want me to _lie_ to you, is that it?" She asked sharply. "You want me to tell you it looks hot or something?"

Drakken scowled at her, not quite sure what to say to her merciless honesty. "No, but I'm— it wouldn't kill you to give me some support, like you could tell me it would go away eventually or— or something!" He blurted. Didn't she understand that sometimes, people just needed to...well, _yes_, be lied to so they'd feel better? It didn't exactly have to be a downright lie, either, it could just be a...slight modification of the truth—

"So far, it doesn't look like it." She said, shrugging. It had been three days, and the flower was still going strong.

Drakken's face fell as his illusions were shattered. "Shego!"

"Oh, grow up, Doc!" She muttered, stabbing irritably at the salad with her fork. "Just...learn to live with it!"

"Oh, and as if _you'd_ be mature about this!" Drakken snarled, pushing his plate away with a loud clatter. "You'd throw a _fit _if you suddenly had flowers growing on you! You're much vainer than me, always tanning yourself and painting your nails!" He accused, voice growing strained. "We're villains, you know, we're not running Barbie's Dream Salon!"

Despite herself, she almost felt hurt. "Gee, _thanks_. Now I _really_ feel like pampering your self-esteem." She sneered.

For a while, he said nothing, only stared at her.

Then his gaze dropped to his plate, where he noticed that some of the chef's salad and a half-eaten slice of pizza had tumbled from it to the ground. Somehow, he couldn't quite work up the energy to get angry about wasting the expensive food.

"...sorry." He said quietly.

Shego's eyes widened. "What?" She asked, absentmindedly taking another forkful of salad.

"That was uncalled for." He clarified, looking embarrassed. "You were just honestly answering my questions. I didn't have to get personal." As a villain, lust for vengeance was like second nature to him, but really...taking his problems out on Shego wouldn't exactly solve anything,

Shego almost choked on a piece of lettuce. Oh, no...now he was being _mature_, too? Oh, jeez, no. Gah, it was as if he'd read her _mind_ or something!

"Whatever." She mumbled, looking down.

She heard him sigh in resignation, and her stomach clenched.

Shego had thought she knew him. She'd had him conveniently labelled. Did he have her labelled as well? Was she just a vain, uncaring bitch in his eyes? Was that what she was?

Or did she just confuse him and make him nervous as well?

"Oh, for the love of— ARGH! Not again!"

She looked up, startled, and saw that the bright yellow petals had sprung up again around his neck. She met his eyes, and the look there was angry, frustrated and ashamed.

Sending her a helpless glance, he gritted his teeth and started tearing at the petals, but before she knew it, she was scooting her chair over to his, stopping his hands.

"I'll do it, Dr. D." She offered quickly. "You don't wanna get them in the salad."

He looked humiliated and started grumbling, but she caught the small, grateful smile that zipped across his lips.

"Um, maybe...I mean, you never know and all...they might go away soon," she heard herself telling him doubtfully as she plucked off the first petal, and got another tiny smile for her troubles.

Shego swallowed, frowning as she began tearing out the other petals.

He pissed her off— he was dorky and awkward and lame and bragging and bigheaded and just _not cool at all _and, and—

And she was starting to worry that she was running out of excuses.

After dinner, however, there were still boxes to carry, and thankfully, that meant a natural transition back to bickering.

* * *

**Security of Body, part IV**

* * *

There was a painful hollow in her stomach as she watched him get pulled away, and she wondered dimly whether the look on her face was as frightened as his. It wouldn't have surprised her.

"_Why couldn't one of your super powers have been flying?" _

The words echoed in her mind across a distance of about a year or so, when they'd been stranded with a useless car and he'd been wearing that totally stupid—

Yes. Yes, why _couldn't_ it have been?

Why _didn't _she have the ability to fly?

Or, hey, why didn't she have the ability to do _anything_ except _stand_ there?

Her body trembled as the numbness of shock let her go, and she could feel tears stabbing at her eyes, threatening to come out.

No..._no_ way, she was _not_ that kind of person.

She didn't sit around bawling and being helpless! She _did_ something about it! Even Dr. D, as emotional as he was, would have done _something_!

If it had been her, he would have rushed back to the lair and...and slapped together a rocket or something! Yes!

Except she couldn't build a rocket...but she could steal one! And she could pilot it!

A wicked grin spread itself across Shego's face.

Within two minutes, the hover car was zooming across the ocean, headed for the mainland.

Those aliens were going to get a taste of some green magic.

Even if it was the last thing she ever did.

* * *

Drakken wasn't usually scared of heights— that would have been a huge drawback, being in the dangerous kind of business he was in— but when he looked down and saw the Earth many, many miles below his feet, the green, transparent beam holding him the only thing between him and the cold, deadly blackness of space, sharp, delirious vertigo shafted through him, his stomach lurching and spine stiffening—

_Okay, looking down was__ not a good idea, not a good idea, not a good idea_, he thought frantically as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, dizzying afterimages burning on his retina.

The last time something similar had happened to him, it had been frightening as well, but it had only been a short trip up to the space ship. It had still been in the Earth's atmosphere, not in...well, space.

He tried to be rational about it. Whoever had taken him would have to want him alive if they went through all this trouble, right?

So there was no need to panic.

Even if he was...several hundred miles from his home planet...alone in space...

He whimpered.

Maybe Shego would remember that they still had that rocket that they used when— no, wait, that was broken. And in a different lair.

_Oh, snap. _

But she'd think of something, right? She'd come and save him, right? She wouldn't just let them take him, right?

_Oh, please, I'll give you raise, I'll give you a holiday, I'll— I'll rub your feet again, just please!_

His stomach settled a bit when he came aboard the ship and was shackled by a small, faceless robot and put on a sort of little hover thing. It was just wonderful to actually feel something solid under his feet again. Maybe he could reason with these aliens, he thought, or maybe it wasn't aliens at all, maybe it was some sort of secret government...thing?

In which case, he was pretty much screwed, considering he was wanted in several dozen countries.

Nnngghh.

The fact that he felt relieved to see Kim Possible— of all people— pretty much told his instincts how big of a pickle he was _really_ in this time.

* * *

**Intimacy, Part VII or; Missed Opportunities**

* * *

She rocketed forward through the alien ship, with no real idea as to what she was going to see there—

­—but when she actually saw him, in one piece, unscathed and running towards her, she could almost taste the relief and elation that coursed through her. The jet pack carried her to him, her arms opening of their own volition, and her eyes widened further, her lips twitching into a tentative smile as she saw that he was in fact thinking the same thing.

His expression was that of baffled joy, a disbelieving yet hopeful smile blossoming on his face as he reached out for her, starting to call her name—

—but then he skidded to a sudden halt, his smile dropping away, snuffed out like a candle, her name dying on his lips, and she couldn't understand why that was. Staring at him, unsure, she tried reaching out for him again, but he was pulling back, pulling back...

No, Drakken thought, he couldn't get himself mixed up into something like this. He still had things to do, he wasn't supposed to even _think_ about this until he'd conquered the world, and even then he might decide not to— because where would that leave them? What would happen? Would they even manage to make anything out of it? They never did anything but annoy the life out of each other, so how could he even be thinking of—

A lump formed in Shego's throat when she got a gruff, dismissing comment instead of the embrace she'd wanted, and her own voice was hoarse as she answered him in an evasive, almost apologetic mumble— and why should she be _apologizing_? She'd just come to rescue him!

His strict, resolved expression fell briefly as he glanced over at her and saw her look like— he hadn't expected her to look like _that._ Not all...all dejected and forlorn! She never looked like that! She wasn't _supposed_ to look like that! He'd only seen her look like that, genuinely sad, once before, and he hadn't wanted to see it again. She was making this _difficult_!

For a second or two, Drakken almost considered just going for it again and hugging her, but the moment was clearly lost. It just wouldn't feel natural to do it now, and they simply didn't have the time.

Shego felt cold, suddenly, and alone, and hugged herself as if to replace the lost affection, looking away to hide her blatant disappointment. Usually, she was so good at hiding her feelings, but this had come as a shock to her system. She hadn't planned to try to hug him, it had been a sort of unconscious thing, a reflex, and when she'd seen him, she'd thought..._he'd_ reached out for _her_, too, dammit, it hadn't just been her! How could he cheat her of that? How could he not let her have that when she'd gone all the way into space—

Glancing up, she saw the cheerleader and her sidekick happily sharing a tight embrace to celebrate their reunion, and she bared her teeth in a brief snarl, detesting the teens more than usual for a moment.

* * *

**Confidence, part II or; Whoa, That's Heavy, Doc**

* * *

"Shego, do you ever stop to think…'today, I might actually die'?"

They were zooming past crumbling buildings and spider-like Lorwardian destroyer bots at high speed, and Shego, who was driving, cast Drakken a surprised glance. What, he wanted to start a serious discussion _here_, _now_? On the other hand, it wasn't _that_ odd that his mind wandered off to such a subject, considering that they were playing hover car slalom with dangerous alien technology that could pulverize them at any given moment—

Nevertheless, her tone was even and sure when she answered. "No."

Drakken sent her profile a confused frown. "What, just…'no'?"

"Yes." Shego insisted.

His confusion only increased. "Yes? So you _do_ think it?"

Shego gave a loud sigh, trying to concentrate. "No, ugh, I mean, 'yes' as is in 'yes, it's just no'. I don't think that. I'm not _stupid_ enough to die."

Drakken blinked at her, and didn't say anything more for a moment. "Huh." He remarked eventually, in a kind of puzzled tone. "Well, that's _one_ way of looking at it, I guess…"

Neither of them spoke for almost a whole minute as the hover car darted to and fro.

Not until Drakken drew a deep, pre-discussion breath, anyway. "But I mean, aren't you ever afraid that you'll—"

"No." Shego said immediately.

Drakken was starting to get impatient now. "But Shego, villainy is really quite dangerous, don't you ever—"

"I'm not afraid I'll die." She said flatly.

He sighed. "Okay, fine."

Silence again; or as much silence as there could be when the destruction of a city was going on around them.

"Nervous?" Shego asked, then, almost casually.

"No, not at all!" Drakken said with bright, somewhat hysterical sarcasm. "I'm only the Earth's last hope against alien invasion! Aliens with highly advanced technology!"

"Yeah…" She mumbled, cringing a little.

He turned to her, needing assertion. "Aren't _you_ ever nervous, Shego?"

"No." Again, the answer was flat and dismissive. _Why do people keep asking me this?_ She thought. _First the buffoon, and now…another buffoon_, she added, sighing to herself.

Drakken pursed his lips as he studied her profile closely, watching her long hair whipping around her head like some wild, dark octopus flailing its arms. He should've known better than to expect her to share her uncertainties and fears with him. "You're really in touch with your own feelings, aren't you, Shego?" He asked sarcastically, just a smidgen hurt that she wasn't willing to give him just a little reassurance or companionship even now.

"My own feelings say that I'm not nervous, okay?" Shego barked as she barely avoided a falling billboard on fire. "And why are you even getting into this _now_, of all times? Can't you tell I'm _busy_?"

"Fine!" Drakken barked back, clutching the container of hypollenator mutagen to his chest like a shield.

Rolling her eyes, Shego accelerated and brought the hover car out over the Atlantic Ocean. There…now there was a long, peaceful stretch of alien ship-less water. Now at least they wouldn't be in any danger if he decided to distract her with his disturbing questions and observations.

And, indeed, it didn't take long before he had something new to say.

"Um…Shego?"

Shego almost groaned. "What now?"

"I'm sorry." Drakken said, his voice and expression earnest and a little awkward.

She frowned, glancing at him curiously. She hadn't expected that. "For _what_?"

He shook his head, squirming a bit in his seat. "Lots of things, I guess, but I never apologized for…well, you remember that whole mess with Frugal Lucre and the URC and Martin Smarty, right?"

She nodded. "Hmm…?"

"I yelled at you for messing up my plan, but it wasn't as if you did it on purpose, I mean, it was Kim Possible's fault that you were— it wasn't your fault. And I ignored you and I made you wear that stupid wig and—" The words came out like machine gun fire, in stuttering, forceful lumps, and he winced, starting to feel a little foolish.

Shego sent him a baffled, suspicious glance. "Did you just realize that or are you just saying it now because you think we might die?"

Drakken deflated. "Well…a little bit of both, I guess."

"Oh, for crying out loud—we're not gonna die, Doc!" Shego exclaimed, a loud, annoyed groan preceding the objection.

"I don't know!" Drakken wailed, scowling at her and clutching the container tighter. "I just want to say I'm sorry in case I won't get the chance later!"

"Stop being so morbid!" Shego yelled, sending him a stern glance.

"I can't help it!" He yelled back, louder.

It wasn't as if he was doing this on purpose! Of course he knew it was the worst possible moment to panic! It was just…just that he hadn't felt anything even approaching this kind of performance pressure since his college days. It had dawned on him, as they'd been flying past demolished buildings, cracked roads and fleeing people, that it was different this time, because they weren't the ones who were causing it; they'd be victims, too. Shego, his mother, the rest of his family, and even Shego's family…all of them would be victims.

Usually, if they lost, they could just try again, because being sent to prison was the worst thing that could happen to them. But this time, if they lost…there probably wouldn't _be_ another chance.

Finally, Shego realized she was actually getting a bit upset; he chose _this_ moment, when they were headed into battle, to tell her he had _doubts_? "Dr. D, not even ten minutes ago, you were all like 'Victory will be mine!'—what happened to _that_?" She demanded.

"I don't know, I just…just…whatever!" He snapped, turning his head. Couldn't she just tell that all he needed was a little encouragement? It wasn't as if he'd given up or anything! He just needed…something…just a kind word or a glance or a smile…anything!

Shego swallowed as another silence fell over them; for all his sudden anxiety, Dr. D was sorta right. She remembered _perfectly_ well how fierce of a fighter Warmonga had been; she'd still had little aches in her back days later.

They_ might_ actually die for all she knew, and what if they died and the last thing they'd done was to argue?

Even _she_ didn't have _that _much stupid, stubborn pride.

Delicately, she cleared her throat. "I thought maybe…"

"What?" He asked, feigning disinterest; still sulking.

Her gaze zipped across his face nervously. "It's silly…"

"What?" He repeated, starting to get mildly annoyed.

"You know, you were abducted by aliens." She began, shrugging. "I didn't know they were Miss Amazon and company, I mean, they could've been the kind of aliens who'd dissect you and experiment on you and—"

He made a horrified face. "Eeugh! Shego!"

"Hey," She objected, starting to feel embarrassed and a little lost; having trouble remembering exactly what her point had been, "for all I knew, you could've been floating around in several separate vats of formaldehyde before I got to you!"

"Stop it," he shuddered, "you're just going to give me nightmares! Why are you even _telling_ me this?"

She looked away. "Just, you know…saying."

"Well, stop it." He grumbled.

Her hand twitched on the steering wheel.

She bit her lip.

Gah, what was the big deal, she could just—

Fast, and almost unbidden, her hand jumped to life and reached over, slipping into his hand and squeezing**. **

Drakken froze at the contact, slowly turning his head to look at her with astonished, wide eyes. "Shego…?" _What is she doing? Why is she suddenly…why?_

"I'm…glad your head isn't floating in a pickle jar somewhere out in space, okay?" She said awkwardly, and that seemed to sum up her feelings.

_So __you __**do**__ get nervous_, Drakken thought. _Interesting._ "Well…me, too." He replied, instinctively tightening his hold on her hand.

"Yeah..." She said vaguely— more just to have something to say than for any particular reason— and they finally let go of each other's hands. Trouble lay ahead, and she needed both hands to steer.

"We're going to win." He declared, then. She noticed that the almost haughty certainty he'd had during his self-confident little speech at their old Alpine lair just twenty minutes ago had returned to his voice, though it seemed to be more serious than haughty this time. A tone of voice you could believe.

She was grinning now. "Maybe we will."

_**TBC.**_

* * *

**Author's note:** How did Shego go from skepticism to thinking Drakken could defeat the aliens? Well, here's _one_ fanfic hypothesis.

A huge thanks to my wonderful beta, **Charlotte C**. Her very flattering and encouraging words made me feel optimistic about the chapter. I actually started looking forward to publishing it instead of being nervous about it. XD Thank you, **Char**. :) I added this sentence due to one of the comments you made: **Usually, if they lost, they could just try again, because being sent to prison was the worst thing that could happen to them. But this time, if they lost…there probably wouldn't **_**be**_** another chance.**

**EDIT: **I've also rewritten chapters** THREE, SEVEN **and** EIGHT **slightly, because they've all been bugging me since last year. You'll find the reasons why added to the author's notes for each of the chapters.

The conversation about the fear of dying was one of the very first ideas I ever had for a D/S fanfic, last spring. I never used it because I couldn't find a suitably dangerous situation for it...until _Graduation_.

Well…um, anyway…I just published this to show you people that the fic isn't dead. I'm still very much stuck, though, so the next update will take a while, too. Hopefully not six months again, but…yeah.

**Pigro:** Lazy (Italian).

* * *


	18. FOURTEEN

**Maslow**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Lack of Prejudice, ****Intimacy, part VIII, Friendship, part V and Respect, part V

* * *

**

When they finally got back to the new lair, they were both exhausted.

And quite disheartened to find that the lair hadn't been miraculously tidied up while they were gone.

Drakken's tired expression sagged even further. "Oh. I forgot about that."

Shego gave a disgusted little groan. "It can _so_ wait. I am _not_ doing anything more today except maybe digging up a mattress or something to sleep on."

Drakken nodded, exhaling as he plopped down onto the couch, which was surrounded by unopened boxes. "I…I think I could sleep for…for about _nineteen_ hours right now, Shego."

Shego sighed, rubbing her neck. Wearing that rocket pack had been heavy and uncomfortable. "I hear ya," she said, unzipping the space suit and kicking it haphazardly into a corner— she doubted Mr. Possible was going to expect to get it back from a villainess— before she sat down as well. After a couple of seconds, she also unzipped the collar of her cat suit, fanning herself with her hand. Wearing the space suit over the cat suit hadn't been the best move, but she'd been in a hurry, and there was no way she'd have stripped down to her underwear in front of the blond nerd and Kimmie's dad.

Drakken didn't comment; he was leaning back, his head resting on the back of the couch and his body as limp as a cooked noodle. He exhaled again, heartfelt and deep, rubbing his temple.

"So," she said, smirking, "we're still alive, huh, Doc?"

Drakken's head lifted just slightly to give her a scowl. "Yes, yes, let's just forget about that little episode, all right? It was just a temporary lapse of judgment."

Shego snickered. "Right. Not blind panic or anything."

"Is that really any way to treat the world's new her—" Drakken shuddered at almost having said the 'H-word', and tried again: "The man who just saved— ugh!" He growled, shaking his head, and went for another attempt: "Is that really any way to treat the inventor of a substance so sophisticated it beat alien technology?" He settled for, tilting his chin up indignantly.

Shego had continued snickering through all his attempts to block out the fact that he was more or less the man of the hour, but now, to his surprise, she sobered, nodding. "Yeah, I guess you do kinda deserve getting your props for this," she conceded.

He gave her a searching look, trying to detect any underlying sarcasm, but came up empty-handed. "Wha— really?" He frowned, but quickly rallied: "I mean, yes! Of course!"

Shego laughed, patting his shoulder. "Didn't hurt your ego any, huh?" She had to laugh again as she was treated to a deeply suspicious glare. "Good job, Dr. D," she said, grinning lopsidedly. "Spending the rest of my days as an alien slave? Yeah, _so_ not my idea of a good time."

He blinked at her, addled by her unusual frankness, but it didn't take long before another grumpy mood set in. "Yes, well, too bad you're the only one who thinks so," he muttered. "People should be throwing money at me and gratefully worshipping at my feet, but what did they do? They stuck us with cleaning duty!" He groused, fists tightening. "Good thing I have robots to do that sort of thing for me, or we'd still be out there— those selfish, ungrateful—"

"Whoa, Doc," Shego interrupted, pushing his now angrily waving fist down, "not that I don't agree or anything, but you're kinda being a party pooper here. Don't ruin our _one_ real victory in…well, _ever_, 'kay?"

He sighed heavily, deflating just a little. "It's just—"

"I know." Shego interjected, rolling her eyes. "There'll be champagne and fans some other time, maybe. Just don't go nuts right now, we're both too tired for that," she said reasonably as she picked up the bag of groceries they'd bought on the way home, tossing him a can of soda and a couple of plastic-wrapped sandwiches before getting some for herself.

Drakken finished one of the sandwiches in six seconds flat and reached for another straight away, chomping it down in about ten seconds and washing it down with the entire soda can.

Shego, who'd barely taken two bites out of her first sandwich, raised an eyebrow. "Gee, I guess _saving the world_ really gives you an _appetite."_

"Don't _say_ that," Drakken mumbled in a strained voice, snatching another sandwich and a banana from the bag.

"You should probably just get used to hearing it," Shego said matter-of-factly, shrugging. "That's what they'll all be saying, unless, y'know, Team Bratty takes all the credit for it, which they won't 'cause they're just too darn goody-goody."

"Nnngghh…!" Drakken threw the rest of the third sandwich down, apparently deciding he'd lost his appetite after all, and settled down into a sulk.

Shego pointedly ignored him as she calmly ate her food.

For a whole two minutes, there were no sounds except the tiny noises Shego made as she sipped and chewed, and the quiet night noises from the jungle outside their lair.

But then Drakken seemed to get another issue on his mind.

"Shego?"

"Hmm?"

He took a shallow breath before he spoke, toying with one of the plastic sandwich wrappers. "Do you think…do you think my new plant powers are…you know, weird?"

She nodded. "Definitely."

Drakken sagged. "Oh." Biting his lip, he glanced down. "Well, I could probably get rid of them, maybe, if I could just…"

He blinked when the dark room was suddenly cast in a familiar, green glow. Looking up, he saw that Shego was burning a red Pigro's Pizza napkin to ash on one of the dirty plates they hadn't cleared away after having dinner the other day.

"They creep me out," she said dryly. "Completely unnatural."

His face brightened when he finally caught on. She was making a rather good point. He wasn't the only one with freaky super powers around there.

"Shego…" His voice was tender now. Maybe she still needed to work on her delivery, maybe she still seemed to have trouble saying nice things outright, but she was actually_ trying_, and he couldn't remember ever feeling this sort of…_concord_ between them, like they had something in common, like there was some sort of _understanding_…

"Dr. D, your…um…_plant_…" Shego began, her voice quiet and with just a smidgen of annoyed uncertainty, and he wondered dreamily why her face seemed so close all of a sudden.

"What…?" He asked, absent-minded.

"It's kind of…touching me." She told him, looking down at the vine, which was curling up around her upper arm like some exotic, snake-like bracelet.

Drakken let out a strangled gasp. "Stop it!" He yelped, swatting at the plant. "Bad flower! Bad!"

Shego breathed out as the plant made its retreat, trying to keep from shivering. "Yeah, um, I thought you _controlled _that thing…"

Drakken's hairline reddened, his face suddenly feeling too warm; it was only now that it was dawning on him that he'd been moving closer to her with some sort of vague intent, reaching out, his face drawing nearer to hers— "Sorry, I didn't— I don't know what's _wrong_ with it—" He babbled, self-consciously fiddling with his collar.

"That's okay…it's not like it hurt me!" She interrupted him with an awkward laugh, sounding unnaturally upbeat.

"No, but—"

"Just forget it, Doc," she said quickly, not wanting to get into it. Avoiding his eyes, she got up from the couch and wandered towards the open door that lead out on to the balcony, leaning on the door frame and staring out into the night.

Eventually, Drakken got up and walked slowly over to her, tentatively reaching out. "Um…Shego…?" He began, but there wasn't much point since he didn't really know what he wanted to say; he just had some sort of feeling he should say…_something_.

"Dr. D?" Shego asked then, in an odd tone.

"Yes?" Drakken replied with slight trepidation, his hand falling to his side before it'd even reached her arm.

When Shego spoke again, her voice was a bit sharper. "Dr. D, I thought this was supposed to be a _secret_ lair?"

Drakken looked perplexed, stepping closer to look at whatever she was looking at. "What do you mean? Of _course_ it's—" He broke himself off as he leaned out the door and caught sight of a huge team of reporters outside— and as the sea of flash cameras went off, he ducked back inside just as quickly, cursing under his breath. "Nnngghh, we never removed that huge, glowing alien beacon, did we?"

Shego sighed. "Crap."

* * *

They were standing backstage at the UN symposium, with a thick, velvet curtain separating them from their soon-to-be audience. Drakken wasn't quite sure how he'd suddenly ended up there.

Of course, if asked, he'd say that the press and representatives from the UN had showed up at their lair to greet and meet the saviours of the world, and had whisked them away to the UN building in New York— so _technically_ he knew how he'd ended up there.

It was just that it all seemed so...so _unreal_.

He wasn't used to this much attention. Not this much _positive_ attention. It was as if he'd been locked up in prison for _years_ and then the world had suddenly decided to set him free and give him a great big group hug. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

Okay, so yes, he deserved it. He _really_ deserved it. He was a super genius, and this was certainly no time to get modest about it. Not when he'd not only matched, but _defeated_ highly sophisticated alien technology with one of his own inventions. Not something he'd stolen, not something he'd bought, not some hybrid of his own invention and somebody else's— no, this was _all him_!

But still...he'd wanted to rule the world, not save it, and embarrassment curled in his stomach even as pride blossomed in his chest. He'd seen the way the other villains had looked at them when he and Shego had been lead into the building.

Apparently, he'd just gone and lost himself all his street cred. Except...there was the fact that in order to rule the world, it went without saying that he'd needed to pry it from the grasp of the aliens who had taken it over first, right?

When a tentative hand touched his shoulder, Drakken almost jumped.

"What?" He blurted, twirling around.

"Nervous?" Shego asked softly, with a bit of a teasing undertone.

"Well, duh," he replied, but the edge had gone out of his voice.

"Gosh, and I couldn't tell at all."

Drakken glanced moodily towards the velvet curtain and the audience behind it. "You think they hate me?"

Shego made a non-committal sort of grunt. "Probably."

Drakken gaped at her. "What?"

"Hey, they're villains." Shego said matter-of-factly. "What, you think they had shrines in your honor in their living rooms or something before you went and saved the world? They probably hated you even before this. That's what villains _do_, they hate other villains, or are at least suspicious towards them and dislike them, because we're all rivals in the same business." She explained, in a tone that suggested he should've thought of this by himself. "I mean, when I go to the spa, it's not like I hang out with the other villainesses or anything." She added, snorting.

Drakken stared, eyes becoming big and reproachful and lip pouting just a little.

"What _now_?" Shego asked with reluctance.

"...you mean you _hate_ me?" He asked in a small voice that nevertheless held a bit of animosity.

Shego's groan was loud and heartfelt and her eye roll a perfect textbook example. "Oh, _please_. Don't be a drama queen, Dr. D. We're on the _same side_ here, remember? I'm not working _against_ you, I'm working _with_ you."

Drakken gritted his teeth, huffing. "Okay, so I'm...not exactly feeling a hundred per cent right now, so sue me! I'm under a lot of pressure here, Shego! It's not every day something like this happens to me— you can't expect me not to get affected by it! My evil credibility is pretty much history, and in a few minutes the entire _world_ is expecting me to make some fabulous speech about how I saved them all, so if you could just keep the upsetting comments to a minimum, that'd be _swell_." Drakken hissed, peering strictly at her.

Shego gave a theatrical sigh, brushing an imaginary piece of lint off of the sleeve of his lab coat. "Too bad the only suit you own is the prom tux that you never used."

Drakken's stomach dropped; prom, or any other unpleasant memories, was the last thing he needed to think about right now. "How did you know I never used my— oh, very funny, Shego." He groused, glaring.

Shego only laughed a little. "I never went to the prom, either," she admitted.

"Somehow, I doubt it's because you couldn't get a date," he grumbled, but somehow, it sounded like a compliment.

Well, now, Shego thought, surprised and amused; so he acknowledged the fact that she was attractive, did he? "Oh, I _had_ a date," Shego smirked. "Just not for the _prom_. I spent my prom night at a frat party."

Drakken's brow rose. "Really? Why?"

"What can I say? I like older guys." She said, chuckling.

Drakken cleared his throat awkwardly, looking down, and she frowned; was he _blushing_?

_Oh, shit,_ she thought, eyes widening, _was I __**flirting**__ just now? Gah, I was __**flirting**__— I didn't mean to— gah!_

"I think what you're wearing is fitting, though," she said quickly. "I mean, you saved the world in it."

"Yes, I suppose," he said, brightening a little. "And I doubt they'd hassle me for not following any dress codes at this point."

She shook her head with a lopsided smile. "Yeah, world save-age pretty much gets you off the hook."

Drakken smiled back nervously. "But you know...even if you didn't save the world in that dress, you look, um...very good in it, Shego," he managed. For once, he supposed he could risk paying her a real compliment. It was a special occasion, after all.

Shego looked slightly taken aback at the directness of what he'd said, but recovered magnificently. "Yeah, much better without the blond wig, huh?" She joked, tossing her hair in a nonchalant manner.

"Yes," he said earnestly, and she felt her face turn hot.

She faltered a bit before she could reply. "Well, it's no big deal! I just...happened to find it when I was looking for a clean jump suit."

"Yes, things are really jumbled at the lair now," he said absently, fascinated by the look on her face. It wasn't often that he saw her look unsure, and especially not shy.

"Not like I could show up at the UN wearing a space suit," she mumbled, staring.

"No, that would be silly," he said, nodding.

A guy with a clipboard walked up to them, then, disrupting the odd atmosphere. "You're on in two minutes," he said, nodding to them and pointing towards the stage before walking off again.

Drakken drew a deep breath. "Well, here goes..."

* * *

**Achievement, part II

* * *

  
**

_I don't know how I did it_, Drakken thought as he tried to wriggle his way out of the tight, human-sized bouquet his plant had made out of himself and Shego, as cameras flashed mercilessly in the big hall to capture the moment, _but I must've jinxed myself __**somehow**__, anyway_.

"I...Shego, I don't really— I can't fully control this thing yet, and— I'm sorry, I—" He said, flushing as he babbled, trying to loosen the vines that were trapping them both, his hip pressing into Shego's hip.

Shego sighed, forcing herself not to be embarrassed before she put a reassuring hand on his back. "Just smile and wave...okay, Dr. D?"

"O-okay," He nodded, settling down just slightly. After a few seconds, he could feel the plant start its retreat.

"See? Piece of cake," she mumbled, clearing her throat, trying to appear unaffected as she smoothed down her dress and took a step away from Drakken when the plant let go of her. "Now I think you should probably go and..." She hinted, pointing towards the small podium and the microphone at the front of the stage.

"Oh...right...the speech." Drakken nodded absently as he walked towards the microphone.

There was a sudden hush in the large room, and Drakken gulped.

"Ahem…well," he began uncertainly, smiling a somewhat stiff smile, "I, uh, I guess I should say thank you for honoring me with this medal, and…" He paused, looking out across the sea of contemptuous, jealous faces— his fellow villains— and all of a sudden, he was filled with a defiant sense of pride, his chest inflating and his smile changing into a smug smirk. "And…and you know what? I deserve it!" He declared, pointing challengingly out at his audience. "Yes! That's right! I _said_ it! I slaved over a hot lab for _months_ to make that plant formula, and if it wasn't for _me_, you would have all been chipping away at honorary monuments for your alien overlords right now! Or your heads would be decorating their mantelpieces!" Drakken drew himself up, clutching the medal triumphantly. "But you're not! And do you know why? Because of my brilliance! Because of my fantastic sense of scientific creativity!" He gloated, getting completely lost in the rant now. "Oh, the _genius_! Oh, the sheer…the sheer _smartness_ of it all! Oh, the—"

"YOU ZTINK!" Somebody in the crowd shouted; Frugal Lucre turned around and bopped Dementor over the head with his big baseball foam finger.

Drakken cleared his throat loudly. "Ehrm, anyway, as I was saying…even despite my obvious and astounding intellect, none of this would have been possible without the aid of my…" Drakken hesitated, a somewhat shy expression crossing his face before he continued: "…my brave and talented sidekick, Shego, who's been gracious enough to join me here tonight." Drakken turned to Shego— who looked positively _stunned_— sending her a tentative smile, before whipping around and sneering at the audience. "So you'll give her a hand if you know what's good for y—" He halted, remembering his manners; over the years, threatening big crowds had simply become a reflex for him. "I mean, uh, let's all give her a hand, okay?" He corrected himself, sporting a cheesy grin.

The right side of the hall, full of country officials, immediately broke into polite but enthusiastic applause. The left side, however, full of villains, remained mostly silent, with the exception of Frugal Lucre, who was whooping loudly and cheering Drakken and Shego on while waving the big baseball foam finger which, on closer inspection, sported the disconcerting phrase 'Drakken #1'.

And then there was Cousin Eddie.

"Wooo, yeah! That's what I'm _talking_ about! You're _workin'_ that dress, Green, seriously!"

There was a loud growl beside him, and Drakken turned to see Shego, her hands igniting, fingers curling into claws as she glared daggers at his Cousin.

In an attempt to avoid disaster, Drakken rushed over to her, grabbing her arm. "What was that you said, Shego?" He reminded her in a somewhat strict tone, speaking out of the corner of his mouth, his eyes on the audience. "Just smile and wave?"

Grunting with subdued anger, Shego let her green glow fizzle out, smiling reluctantly as Drakken bowed for the audience, grinning. She supposed she couldn't ruin his big moment, especially after he'd blindsided her with how he'd just praised her in his speech.

Still, there were limits to her goodwill.

"If you think I'm gonna curtsy, you've got another thing coming," Shego informed him bluntly.

Drakken smiled at her. "Wouldn't dream of it."

* * *

**Family, part ****III

* * *

**

To their surprise, they were led away to a VIP room after the ceremony where they could rest as they waited for the dinner in their honor to start.

It wasn't a particularly big or lavish room, but there were a few champagne bottles, gift baskets and a large collection of bouquets on the table by the wall.

"See, Dr. D?" Shego said with self-satisfaction, making a sweeping arm gesture towards the table. "Didn't I tell you there might be champagne and fans later?"

Drakken smiled, but didn't make a move to take advantage of the nice assortment of goods. "Does any of this still feel a little…too good to be true to you?"

Shego chuckled wryly. "What, like you're expecting the food to be poisoned?"

Drakken paled. "You think it might be? I mean, we're still villains despite the fact that we just— you think they'd want to get rid of us now that we've saved them and done the mandatory song and dance for the press? They wouldn't do that, would they? Not after—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Doc," Shego shushed him, taking a hold of his shoulders to calm him down. "Paranoia _really_ doesn't suit you."

"But—" Drakken tried again, staring frantically into her eyes. "What if they've _locked_ us in here? What if—"

Sighing, Shego let go of him and walked over to the door, opening it. "See?" She reassured him, with an undertone of irritation, closing and opening the door a few more times so he'd get the picture. "It's not locked, okay? We're not trapped."

Drakken looked acutely embarrassed, then, pulling himself up and self-consciously smoothing down his lab coat. "Well, considering how often we've been imprisoned, you can't really blame me for—" He cleared his throat briskly. "Unlike you, I've never _been_ a hero before, all right?"

Shego grimaced, slumping down onto a chair. "Ugh, don't remind me! Did you notice that my brothers were in the audience? I hope they're getting ushered out of here now that the ceremony's over, 'cause I _so_ don't wanna hafta deal with _them_ right now!"

"Yes," Drakken mused, scratching his jaw. "Considering you just helped rescue humanity and all, I expect they'll ask you to join the team again."

Shego shot him a sour look. "Ya _think_?"

Drakken pouted. "Hey, there's no need to take it out on _me_ just because—"

"Okay, okay, yeesh," she cut him off, groaning. "I'm sorry, just— I _really _don't need that right now."

Drakken relaxed, nodding. "I know what you mean. I haven't felt this tired since the week we lived in that timeshare lair right next to a construction site."

They both let out a sigh, and then the room was silent except for the sound of Drakken picking suspiciously at a basket of assorted cheeses and chocolates.

"When did they say the dinner started again?" He mumbled absentmindedly, almost as if just to have something to say.

"Oh, um…" Shego glanced at the clock on the wall. "I think they said in about forty-five minutes."

"You'd think they'd at least put a TV or some newspapers in here if they expected us to wait that long," Drakken groused, scowling at the gift baskets before tearing the one with chocolates and cheeses open and digging into a box of fine Belgian confectionary without any further ado. As he sampled a crème-filled dark piece of chocolate, a familiar look of culinary bliss crossed his features.

Humming with enjoyment, he turned to Shego, offering the box. "You want one?" He asked, his voice slightly muffled by the chocolate. "There's strawberry filling," he added cheerfully, waggling his brow before biting into another piece of chocolate, scattering crisp crumbs all over his lab coat.

Shego sent him a long, overbearing look before giving up and chuckling a bit, rising from her chair. "No, thanks," she said, brushing a hand across his chest in a business-like manner to get the crumbs off, "I think I prefer _not_ showing up in a dress that looks like I just used it to clean behind the _fridge_."

Grumbling, Drakken wiped his mouth and put the box down.

Shego exhaled, hesitating a bit before she spoke next. "I, um…it was really something you did today," she said, her fingers picking idly at his sleeve. "That plant thing was pretty good."

Drakken looked baffled for a second, before he smiled. "Super hypollenator mutagen," he mumbled softly. "You never _could_ bother to learn the names of my inventions, could you?" He asked, more fondness than annoyance in his voice.

"Stop making them so ridiculously _long_, and maybe I'll bother," she replied mirthfully.

He rolled his eyes. "Can I get that in writing?"

"Well, whatever it was called, I was actually pretty impressed," she admitted with a quirky grin.

The partly amused, partly vexed expression dropped from Drakken's face immediately, his mouth going a bit slack and his eyes big. "Did you just say…?" He wondered aloud, awestruck.

She nodded, looking faintly abashed now. "Hey, it beat the aliens, so I'd say it was a success," she said, trying to shrug the moment off, but only succeeding in actually turning just a little red as Drakken continued to gawk at her.

Telling him 'good job' was one thing, Drakken thought, but standing there in a pretty dress, that close, and with that look on her face, telling him that she was in fact _impressed_, that was just…different.

"So…uh, I didn't think you were gonna mention me in your speech," Shego spoke up again, looking at her hands. "'Cause, you know…villains? _Not _exactly big with the whole sharing-the-glory deal," she added, glancing up at him with curiosity in her eyes.

Drakken coughed delicately. "Um, yes, I…thought…even if it was my invention that saved us and we would've all been doomed without me— I mean, _hello_, who else could have done what I—"

"Your point?" Shego prompted, trying to contain a smirk.

"I thought you deserved an honorable mention, all right?" Drakken clarified, a little miffed at being interrupted.

Now she let the smirk show, and it quickly turned into a smile. "Thanks," she said coyly, teasing just a little, "I know it's hard to remember that other people exist sometimes, what with that big megalomaniac ego to manage and all."

"It's not _that_ big," he protested, but didn't really sound very offended.

"Either way, I appreciated it," she murmured, and he gulped as her hand came to rest on his arm.

"Well, I…I appreciate…" Drakken began thickly, his voice dropping in volume, too; he wondered why they were suddenly almost whispering. "I…I do appreciate...your efforts, I guess, so…I sort of felt like I had to…I don't know, say something or other…"

The teasing look in her eyes softened, then, and her smile deepened. "Yeah…"

Again, Drakken swallowed as he realized that she was in fact sliding her fingers higher up his arm now, looking at him with an expression he couldn't quite remember ever having seen on her face before—

"Excuse me, ma'am, this is a private area, I'm afraid you can't—"

"We're r_elated_ to the man you just awarded a _medal_! Are you trying to tell me I can't come through here so I can congratulate _my only son_ on his _big day_?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, it's a matter of international security—"

"Don't you think you should be watching those criminals in the main hall instead?"

"Yeah, dude, I think I heard some of them talking about planting a bomb or something, seriously!"

There was a loud gasp, followed by the sound of footsteps hurrying away. Then, an eerily familiar snicker: "There's, like, one born every minute, seriously!"

Drakken and Shego had already gone even paler than usual when they'd recognized the approaching voices, freezing up completely, but now they sprang into action, desperately trying to find any means of escape, but there was no window in the small room, and the only door was the one…_they _would come through any second now!

Time seemed to move in slow motion as the door burst open and revealed Drakken's mother.

"Dreeeewbie!" Mama Lipsky squealed. The older woman's voice pitch should've shattered glass, and the champagne bottles _did_ in fact rattle threateningly. "Oh, my precious boy!" She exclaimed warmly, enveloping him in a tight, backbreaking hug. "I'm so _sorry_ I missed the ceremony, honey! I came over as soon as I found out!"

Drakken grunted painfully as his mother let him go. "Oh, here, let me look at you! _My_ son, world _hero_! I'm so _proud_ of you, Drewbie!" She enthused, pinching his cheeks. "I _knew_ you'd amount to greatness _one _day! I always told my friends at bingo, but would they listen? Nooo, it was always, oh, _my_ son's a famous lawyer this, and _my_ son's a famous actor that— well, they won't be bragging during our next bake night, because _nobody_ can top my son saving the _entire world_!"

Shego shook her head, trying to filter out Mama Lipsky's incessant chatter as she went to sit down again to wait for the dinner, but stopped in her tracks when she heard a familiar but very unwelcome call.

Oh, right. _He _was still there, too.

"Green! Babe of the hour! Come here so I can give you some sugar for saving my totally tan and toned butt, seriously!"

Shego made a point of not turning around. "If you want me to feel appreciated, then you can go play on the highway…on _foot_." She told him in a sharp, no-nonsense tone. "That would make me _very_ happy." She added icily, her mood turning so rotten she dug into the box of chocolates after all, no longer caring about the state of her dress.

"Babe, you should put down the chocolate!" Eddie complained, walking up to her. "Babes shouldn't eat chocolate! They get totally fat, and I don't dig fat chicks, seriously!"

Motor Ed failed to notice the sneer on Shego's face when she turned around, defiantly stuffing another chocolate in her mouth before incinerating the rest of the box. If Eddie had been an animal, Shego thought to herself, he'd have been one of the slow ones, destined for an early death due to its inability to read danger signs.

"Try the fruit instead— Motor Ed is totally down with fruit, it's awesome for your hair, seriously! And the fruit basket's from me, Green," Eddie told her smugly. "I can be classy, too, seriously!"

"I guess that explains why there's nothing in it but bananas and melons," Shego retorted witheringly.

"I know! Awesome, right? Now slide on over here and give me some lip action, babe, seriously!"

"Here's a better idea— how about you slide on out in front of an oncoming semi trailer?"

Mama Lipsky gave her son an expectant look. "Drew, don't you think you should defend the lady?"

Drakken met his mother's gaze, flabbergasted. "Me? Defend _Shego_? Trust me, she usually likes to handle her own business, Mother."

The Lipsky matriarch pursed her lips. "Oh, I'm not so sure, Drewbie."

Drakken looked from Shego to Eddie and back to Shego again, frowning.

"All chicks want a piece of the Motor, Green, so I suggest you take the chance while I'm still here, seriously," Eddie said, leaning against the wall in a pose he thought made him look cool and sexy.

Shego only sent him a look that would've made it abundantly clear to anyone with more self-insight and a smaller ego than Eddie that she thought they were two slices of bread short of a sandwich. "Okay— the message _still_ not coming through to you here?" She tried in a slower voice, staring disbelievingly at him. "How about I try it in other _languages_? Would _that_ help?"

Eddie pushed away from the wall, suddenly enthusiastic. "Hey, you like languages? 'Cause I took French in high school! They say it's the language of love, seriously! I can still remember something I taught myself to say for, like, totally practical reasons…um…now how did it go again…oh, yeah…voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Seriously!"

Drakken, who'd also taken a bit of French in high school, realized what the sentence meant, and went practically purple in the face as he scowled at his Cousin. Trying to kiss Shego was one thing, but making such a bold proposition to a woman who obviously showed no interest in him, and right in front of Drakken's _mother_, no less— who thankfully didn't speak any French, or she'd have given Eddie a good slap for certain— was simply _crossing the line_!

And Shego seemed to feel much the same way. "Non! Nein! Njet! No frickin' way, José!" She barked, her hands flaring up and her teeth baring in a snarl, and, just as Drakken was considering interfering, she fired a massive plasma blast straight at Eddie's chest, knocking him across the room and through the door.

To Drakken's surprise, his mother didn't object to this rough treatment of her nephew. It seemed she also thought he'd needed to be taught a lesson. That, or it could be the fact that she'd seen him get out of car crashes alive and well too many times to be all that concerned for his safety.

Shego, however, didn't get any time to enjoy getting rid of that pain in the neck before another arrived at the scene.

"Gee," came a sarcastic drawl from the hallway, "and here's some guy lying randomly knocked unconscious in the hallway. I _wonder_ if we've managed to locate _Shego_."

Then there was another, much more peppy voice: "Shego! Come here and give your brothers a _big hug_!"

Shego froze,slowly turning her gaze towards the door, where she caught sight of all four of her brothers trying to squeeze through the door at the same time. "Oh, _please_, no," she begged under her breath, stomach lurching.

When they managed to free themselves and came rushing at her, all of them at once, Shego felt like she was right back in Milwaukee, smothered by tons of hot, smelly cheese— only this was much noisier, as her brothers kept heaping praise on her under the assumption that she'd finally returned to the side of good— well, the Wegos and Hego were, anyway. Mego was probably mostly in the group hug because he didn't like being left out.

Trapped in the group hug, Shego could do nothing but splutter and choke and squirm, cursing under her breath. She was stronger than most women, and even stronger than most men, but even _she_ couldn't wriggle out of being embraced by the entire Team Go at the same time, especially considering Hego's overenthusiastic super strength, which was making her ribs creak under the pressure.

"Dr. D…!" She wheezed, hoping in vain for any assistance, but Drakken only stood there and gaped at the affectionate attack.

After going over to douse the burning box of chocolates with a bottle of Perrier, as calmly as if putting out fires caused by super powered villainesses was something she had to deal with on a regular basis, Mama Lipsky smiled, clasping her hands. "Oh, I just _love_ family reunions!"

"Aww, isn't that _nice_!" Somebody agreed.

Drakken's eye twitched as he turned reluctantly to the owner of the voice. "F-Frugal Lucre?" He asked in disbelief. "How did _you_ get in here?"

"I just _walked_ in," Lucre replied simply, as if he didn't quite understand the problem.

Drakken gawked. "B-but—"

At that point, Mama Lipsky noticed her son's alias written on the big baseball foam finger that Lucre was carrying.

"Hello there, are you a fan of my Drew's work?" She inquired, with the kind of polite interest she always used on new people.

"Most definitely." Lucre nodded eagerly. "And does this mean I have the honor of meeting the great Dr. Drakken's mother?"

"Just call me Claudia," Mrs. Lipsky said, smiling as she shook his hand, immediately warming up to the stranger. "And who might _you_ be?"

"I'm Francis Lurman, otherwise known as Frugal Lucre," Lucre said, grinning before his expression turned to modesty, "but you've probably never heard of me. I'm not as famous as your son. You know," he added pensively, "you're much more understanding than my mother. She'd _never_ encourage me like that!"

"Oh, I _have_ to encourage Drewbie to have a creative outlet!" Mama Lipsky insisted. "He's so _talented_!"

Drakken had watched the whole meeting with dismay, his face taking on a dizzy pallor— the thought of his mother and Annoyance Factor F becoming best pals was just a _world_ of wrongness— but now he finally came back to his senses and decided to put a stop to it.

"Mother," he ventured hastily, stepping forward, "not that it's not nice that you've come to congratulate me and all, but Shego and I have this very important formal dinner we have to attend any minute now, and we—"

"Don't be silly, Drew!" His mother laughed. "Why would you want to go to some boring old formal affair when you can come celebrate with your family? Isn't that what's more important at a time like this?" She asked, before adding, in a lower, more meaningful tone: "_Isn't_ it, Drew Lipsky?"

Drakken swallowed, recognizing his mother's expression for what it was. Nevertheless, he foolishly made another escape attempt. "Yes, but _Mother_—"

"Then it's settled!" Mama Lipsky declared joyously. "We'll all go home to your place, Drewbie, since you always have so much _space_, honey, and we'll have ourselves a big ole family celebration! Now, we'll bring these pretty gift baskets, because we can't _possibly_ let all this food go to waste, and then we'll stop for groceries and I'll cook everyone a nice, big dinner!" She clapped her hands, grinning. "Oh, it's been so _long_ since I've had this many people to cook for!"

Lucre was beaming from ear to ear. "A _free_ dinner? Count me in!"

Drakken looked vaguely nauseous with despair, but still wouldn't give up. "Mother, right now _really_ isn't the best time for a visit! Except for about an hour or so on the jet to the ceremony, I haven't really slept in…well, about _two days_, and the lair is full of boxes because we've barely even moved in yet! We don't have any _room_ for guests," he explained pointedly.

His mother smiled, nodded in sympathy…and misunderstood the entire thing. "Oh, _poor_ Drewbie! Don't you worry about _that_! _We_ can handle that while you just go and have a nice rest. I'm _sure_ these big, strong men can help me carry the boxes."

"I'd be honored to be of assistance, Claudia!" Frugal agreed at once.

"Oh, that sounds like a _marvelous_ idea!" Hego declared, smiling. "We'll come help, too, won't we, guys? It's the least we can do!"

"Sure!" The twins chorused.

"Nobody helped _me_ when I wanted to move my room at Go Tower," Mego mumbled sulkily, but was generally ignored by everyone.

There was a choked sound from within the still ongoing group hug, and Drakken rolled his eyes, nudging the oldest brother. "Oh, for Pete's sake! Let her out so she can _breathe_!"

"I think I'm gonna be _sick_," Shego muttered, looking greener than normal when her brothers finally released her. Barely able to stand on her feet, she had to lean her arm on Drakken for support.

Drakken's reply was feeble as he stared helplessly at the room full of expectant faces. "I know the feeling, Shego…"

Outside in the hallway, Eddie groaned and rubbed his head. "Dude, what just _happened_? The French _never_ fails, seriously…"

_**TBC.

* * *

**_

**Author's note:** Two chapters left. There was only going to be one, but these two last chapters both got so long I had to split everything into three chapters instead.

**A big thank you to my beta, Charlotte C.** Thanks for returning the beta so quickly, and as always, I'm glad you liked it. Also, thanks for reminding me that Shego would've taught Ed a lesson before the end of this chapter. I have no idea what I was thinking. I remember considering it, so I dunno why I never wrote it. Thanks for your other advice and thanks for the reviews, too!

**V****oulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir:** Who _doesn't_ know this one, seriously? Oh, okay…it means: Do you want to sleep with me tonight?

**Claudia:** What the VIPs of KP told us Drakken's mother's name was. It was probably just a joke name they made up on the spot, as usual— but hey, I liked it.

* * *


	19. FIFTEEN

**Maslow**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Sleep

* * *

**

Motor Ed was a pretty possessive man, both when it came to his women and his vehicles, so the thought of giving a bunch of strangers a lift in his new, _totally_ sweet wheels with the righteous rocket engines seriously almost gave him a headache.

On the other hand, he was also a very proud man, and couldn't pass up this opportunity to show off his new baby, especially when his audience included Green.

"Check out my rockin' new ride, dudes and dudettes!" Motor Ed declared with a flourish as he gestured at his newest creation. "Have you _ever_ seen anything more _excellent_? You haven't! Seriously! This baby'll get us there in, like, no time!"

"Awesome!" The twins chorused, their eyes practically sparkling as they took in the admittedly impressive sight of the massive and shiny red and black vehicle, which gave the casual observer the impression that a monster truck and a helicopter that was half rocket ship on its father's side had mated and left its offspring outside the UN once it was old enough to take care of itself.

Mama Lipsky smiled. "How nice of you to offer, Eddie!"

Lucre grimaced for a second, before shrugging. "All right. As long as I don't have to hear the _long_ and undoubtedly _very_ detailed story of how you built it and 'tricked it out'…" He mumbled to himself.

"But what about the Go Team Jet?" Mego piped up, sounding like he was just objecting to get attention, and not because he particularly cared.

"I'll just put it on auto and let it cruise home, nice and easy," Hego said confidently. "It has a homing beacon, you know."

Mego rolled his eyes. "Looks like you've conveniently forgotten that the last time you tried that, we spent a week repairing the kitchen roof, Genius!"

"Well, then maybe I should let _you_ try, if you think it's so easy!" Hego challenged, glaring.

"Maybe you should," Mego retorted immediately, flipping his bangs, "'Cause the only way I could do worse than you did the last time would be if, say, I managed to set off the anti-gravity cannon so the jet would turn Go City into a disaster area on the way home."

There was a loud growl beside them, and before Mego could manage to snatch the remote control from Hego, Shego stepped in between them, took the remote, punched a few buttons with practiced ease, and even as she smacked the remote back into Hego's hand with an irritable grunt, the Go Jet was already moving, getting ready for take off.

"There," Shego muttered, "that should keep you from having to call in the contractors. Now can we _move it along_, here?"

Drakken nodded, shooting Eddie's new ride a dark look. "Yes, if I _have_ to do this, let's _at least_ try to get it over with as quickly as possible…" He agreed, sotto voce.

Just as they were about to leave, there was a yell from behind them, and then the guy with the clipboard from earlier came running up. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you! I'm here to inform you that the dinner in your honor will commence in five minutes," he said, trying to sound dignified even as he panted from the exertion.

Drakken looked relieved. "Right! _Of course_, we'll just—" He paused, turning to his mother. "See, Mother? We're _expected_, we can't just—"

"Now Drewbie, we've already _had_ this discussion," his mother said firmly. "We're all leaving, and that's final."

Clipboard Guy looked back and forth at the blue man and his mother with a sinking expression. "Um, there are a lot of _very_ important people waiting for Dr. Drakken and Miss Shego in there," he ventured uncertainly, "and, uh, I kinda just work here and am gonna be in _so_ much trouble if you don't show up—"

"Honey," Mrs. Lipsky told him calmly, "just tell them Drew Li— I mean, _Dr. Drakken_ and Shego wanted to prioritize spending time with their family right now. I know they'll understand, given the circumstances. And I'll tell you what," she went on, giving Clipboard Guy a small, almost conspiratorial smile, "if you get in trouble, just call this number, and I'm sure my son can give you a job," she said, digging in her purse and managing to produce what looked like one of Drakken's business cards, which she gave to the man. "He's always looking for new people— aren't you, Drewbie?"

Drakken could only splutter at this, at the moment not quite able to figure out how to deal with his mother's continuing insistence on making all his decisions for him.

"Okay…?" Clipboard Guy said, blinking down at the card as if it was a tiny fairy tale creature he was holding in his hand.

"Oh, but I wouldn't want their food for the formal dinner to go to waste," Mama Lipsky remembered, frowning. "Why don't you give it to somebody who needs it? I mean, look at the city, it's a mess! I'm sure there's somebody who needs it more than us!"

Clipboard Guy shifted a bit, smiling awkwardly. "Actually, ma'am, me and my family were hit pretty bad during the attacks, so we wouldn't mind—"

"Then by all means, take it!" The elderly woman insisted with a generous smile. "And what are you even _doing_ _here _at a time like _this_, young man?" She added in a brisk tone, actually shooing the man. "Your family needs you! Run along now!"

Clipboard Guy's face took on an expression that vaguely resembled a startled squirrel. "Yes, ma'am! Thank you, ma'am!" He blurted out, nodding profusely before he took off in the opposite direction.

Drakken gawked at his mother, looking completely miserable. If it got out that he was even doing _charity_ now, his future in villainy was even more hopeless than it had been. "Mother!" He began, but didn't get another word in edgeways before his mother rubbed her hands resolutely together, beaming.

"Okay, kids, let's go!" She enthused, walking towards Eddie's new vehicle, followed by the eager Go brothers and the equally eager Lucre, with Eddie elbowing them all aside to be able to board 'his baby' first. Shego trailed further behind at a reluctant stroll, sighing in resignation as she passed Drakken, who looked stupefied where he was left in the wake of the whirlwind that was his mother taking charge of a situation.

Finally snapping out of it, Drakken hurried to catch up with his mother, tentatively touching her elbow to get her attention before she could go on board. "Now, Mother, when we get to the lair, don't be alarmed if you see anything that looks like…uh, weapons while you unpack, because it's just, you know, _really_ high tech radio equipment and not—"

Behind Drakken, Shego snorted; Drakken pretended not to hear it.

"Oh, no need to make up stories with me anymore, Drewbie!" His mother tutted, with a dismissive hand gesture. "I know about _that_, sweetie!"

Drakken blanched, stopped walking, and seemed to lose the ability of speech for a moment. "What?" He asked eventually, in a faraway voice. "How…how long have you known?"

"Well, I didn't realize before you tried to take over the world using that army of red devil robots," Mama Lipsky said, in a tone that suggested that she'd merely caught him stealing cookies or something.

Drakken stared at her, feebly trying to shake the fog of puzzlement. "Why didn't you say anything?"

His mother shrugged. "As soon as I found out, I _was_ planning to give you an earful, but then I started thinking about it, and I decided that if all those stays in prison hadn't done you any good, then it wouldn't help if _I_ punished you, either," she said, shaking her head. "So I just pretended not to know. I figured it would be better if I treated you like a good boy than if I scolded you. I just _knew_ my positive influence would win you over one day, and here you _are_, hero of the entire _world_, no less!" She gushed, clasping her hands. "My _son_, _saving_ the entire _planet_!"

Drakken turned even paler as he felt abruptly trapped; his mother seemed to be willing to ignore all his past sins now that he'd 'become a good boy', but there also seemed to be the unspoken promise that she'd raise hell if it turned out this was just a temporary lapse in his evil activities.

Ah well, he thought, wiping his brow, he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. He was just too tired and confused right then to be able to figure out what he wanted to do next. It wouldn't be the first time he'd stood up to his mother, so he supposed he'd manage— although telling her he was going to keep trying to take over the world would probably provoke her a _little _more than telling her he was dropping out of college had.

"Boy, guess your mama _does_ read the newspaper every once in a while after all," Shego remarked under her breath, sending him a smirk.

Drakken replied with a scowl that was so half-hearted it dropped away after only a second. "Tell me it'll be over soon," he whispered back in agonized tones, and she shook her head and patted his arm in sympathy.

Behind them, Mama Lipsky beamed at them as they climbed aboard Eddie's ride. She hadn't heard their comments, and to her, Shego's little gesture of support looked _very_ promising indeed.

* * *

The only good thing about Eddie's need to brag about his mechanical skills, Shego considered as she sat on a bunk-like bench in the back of Eddie's new rocket ship slash helicopter slash car, having scooted all the way against the wall so she'd have somewhere to lean, was the fact that since this was _his_ ride, he was occupied as its driver, and wasn't free to roam around here in the back and try to weasel his way into the seat next to hers to 'talk'.

One less annoyance to have to deal with in a virtual cornucopia of annoyances probably shouldn't have made much of a difference, but this particular annoyance had been a _big_ one.

At least now that her brothers and Ed were all in the front of the…rocket-jet-truck thing, finally leaving her alone, she could just try to relax and get some sleep and maybe—

"Dude!" Eddie's voice, raised in outrage, tore through the silence like a cat's claws through a pair of brand new curtains, startling Shego. "Motor Ed has_ two_ rules! _Never_ touch the mullet, and _never_ touch my baby's steering wheel! _I'm_ driving here, seriously!"

The attention-grabbing whine that followed could only be Mego: "Oh, come _on_! You've been driving for an _hour_ already! Let _me_ try now! Hego never lets me drive the Go Team Jet!"

"No way, seriously!"

There was a loud, admonishing, scout leader-like cough; definitely Hego: "Now Mego, this, uh, gentleman has been kind enough to give us a lift, so I really think we should show him some courtesy—"

Mego scoffed irritably; Shego could practically _see_ his eye roll. "Yep, here it comes, right on cue— _parenting_ me, as if _he_ hasn't been practically _drooling_ over this ride since he set foot here— you _know _you wanna try it—"

"Mego, why do you always have to _embarrass_ me—" Hego began, the parental tone rapidly being overtaken by timbres of Little Boy Sulk; the kind that he'd probably never acknowledge that he was even capable of uttering.

"Look who's talking, _big brother_!" Mego shot back.

There was a synchronized sigh of annoyance from the twins: "Guys, you're, like, _both_ embarrassing us here!"

"This is _totally _bogus! Why are you even up here? The tour of the cockpit was for the green babe, seriously!"

Hego harrumphed. "You know, I _really _wish you'd refrain from referring to my little sister as 'green babe'—"

Eddie snorted. "Yeah? Well, I wish you weren't so lame, but wishing _so _obviously doesn't make it true, seriously!"

…_but then there are still my brothers, who I can always rely on to turn my good luck into bad luck_, Shego thought bitterly.

Once, several years before she'd gotten into villainy, Shego had been stuck on a twelve hour flight right next to a screaming baby. That was a two hour train ride with classical music playing over the speakers compared to _this_.

Groaning, Shego sank further down onto her seat, trying to force herself to go to sleep. She wasn't quite sure what was worse— the noises coming from the cockpit or Lucre's otherworldly jackhammer snore from where he was sitting opposite herself, Drakken and Mama Lipsky.

Shego rolled her eyes at the sight of Drakken snoring softly on his mother's shoulder, before she shrugged, yawned and leaned her head against the wall. Eventually, she was able to filter out the racket.

Five years of working with Drakken had spoiled her, but once upon a time, she'd been used to being surrounded by cacophony on a daily basis, and once her brain switched back to Living at Go Tower Mode, it wasn't too hard to tune it out. Ignoring her brothers was usually only hard when they actually wanted her to _listen _to them; when they were just talking amongst themselves, it was background noise.

This, combined with the exhaustion from going two very hectic days with barely any sleep, meant that it didn't take long before she dozed off.

Shego didn't know how long she'd been sleeping, but it didn't feel like more than about ten minutes had passed when she was coaxed partially out of her slumber by the sensation of a warm, heavy weight pressing against her arm and shoulder.

Cracking one bleary eye open, she made a hoarse little sound of inquiry, but closed her eyes and relaxed again when she caught sight of a familiar, blue form.

Oh, good. It wasn't Eddie or anyone else she'd have to kill for being this presumptuous.

It was only Dr. D.

Only Dr— _hey, __**wait**__ a minute!_

Her eyes snapped open and stared straight ahead, and she was suddenly very awake, her frame stiffening before her gaze travelled to her right, taking in the sight of Drakken's slumbering face before it moved above his shoulder and beyond—

It was only when she caught sight of Mrs. Lipsky's poorly concealed, giddy grin that Shego realized what had happened.

That insane old woman had literally _pushed_ her son onto Shego.

Suddenly, her hairline grew hot and tingly with irritated, angry embarrassment.

Okay, another line had been crossed by a member of the Lipsky family.

For a second, she wondered who had the worst relatives, and honestly couldn't decide.

Either way, this had to stop. Now.

Any other woman might've thought a man like Drakken was too heavy, but Shego could handle the weight. So when she, with a vindictive, offended little growl, pushed Drakken off of herself, dumping him on the floor with a hard thump, it wasn't because he was too heavy for her.

There was a loud yelp as Drakken was jarred awake by the impact. "Nnnff? Wh-what's going on?"

"Just a little turbulence," Shego muttered dryly, sending Mama Lipsky a sideways glare full of reprehension. The older woman met her glare with a huffy, indignant little pout. Shego's glare deepened; if Mama Lipsky hadn't been an old lady, Shego would've probably pushed Drakken onto his mother instead so they'd have _both_ tumbled down on the floor.

_Yeesh._

Mrs. Lipsky opened her mouth as if to scold Shego for letting her son drop to the floor, but was stopped with a challenging eyebrow from Shego. Mrs. Lipsky wasn't exactly innocent in this, either, as she was the one who'd started it, and as their gazes locked, there passed a bit of silent communication between them: _You don't tattle on me, and I won't tattle on you._

As Mama Lipsky set her rather prominent jaw determinedly, however, her gaze hardening before flickering pointedly between Drakken on the floor— rubbing his bruised backside— and Shego, the green sidekick suddenly and inexplicably felt about fifteen years younger, and found herself bending down to help Drakken off of the floor.

Somehow, the annoyed, but grateful grin that zipped across Drakken's face as she pulled him up by his arms, only made her feel even more uncomfortable.

* * *

"Now you two kids just relax and go to sleep," Mama Lipsky said brightly as she pushed them gently but firmly towards one of the doors in the hallway leading away from the main lab. "You've had a couple of very busy days, so me and the boys have rustled up some temporary beds for you so you can rest while we unpack the other boxes, okay? It'll take a while, but we'll have dinner when everything is ready."

As they'd started unpacking the lair, Mama Lipsky had seemed to take perfectly in stride the fact that four of 'the boys' had super powers, Shego had noticed, and figured that the old woman would have to had seen a lot of weird stuff in her day simply by being Drakken's mom.

And it definitely hadn't dented her confidence, Shego added to herself.

Drakken and Shego shared a glance, Shego rolling her eyes a little and Drakken sending her a sheepish half-grin before they both sighed, resigning themselves to Mama Lipsky's iron will.

They'd already been fed more than they could or wanted to eat, and she'd fussed over them because 'they deserved it, like the heroes they were'. After having had the responsibility of saving the entire world on their shoulders, though, being herded around like kids and having everything taken care of for them for a while actually felt...well, vexing, but strangely liberating at the same time, so they'd decided to endure it at least until they weren't feeling so tired anymore.

How Drakken's mother had prepared the makeshift bedroom for them was a bit _too_ much, though.

When Mama Lipsky waved happily at them before she closed the door carefully behind her, Shego turned to Drakken with a flat look. "Wow. Your mom _really_ isn't a very subtle lady, is she?"

For a second, they just stood and stared at the two futons in the middle of the floor, made up with fresh sheets, pillows...and pushed together to make a single bed. His mother had even managed to locate their pajamas, which were spread out side by side, green and blue sleeves touching in a way that was enough to collapse a diabetic.

"No, she's...not exactly known for her dry understatements," Drakken agreed weakly, looking pale.

"No kidding," Shego began, but hesitated when she saw the strange look on his face. "_What_?"

Drakken shook his head, suddenly going from pale to flustered. "Nothing, it's just, um— a-are we supposed to— I mean, we can't possibly sleep like _that_—"

Shego sighed. "Oh, for crying out loud...!" She mumbled as she crossed the floor. "Here," she said, calmly pushing the two mattresses a good few yards apart. "Problem solved. See?"

Drakken sagged a little; it was a definite improvement, but it still felt somewhat awkward. "Yes, but—" He started, not sure what to say, since no matter how he objected, she'd just think he was being difficult and fussy when she was tired, which, he suspected, was probably exactly what he _was_ being, but it was just so— so---

She shrugged. "Hey, if you wanna go back out there and join the insane family circus, be my guest."

Drakken gave a heavy groan at the mention of the chaos that awaited them on the other side of the closed door. "How did this _happen _to us?"

"Karma?" She suggested flippantly.

"But we just saved the world!" Drakken objected desperately. "Don't we get a _break_?"

Shego's look turned slightly exasperated. "You're the one who got us _into_ trouble in the first place by impersonating the Great Blue, remember?"

Drakken's face fell. "You're not going to _tell_ anybody, are you?"

Her eyebrows rose in surprise before she shook her head. "Nah, you've fixed your mistake."

Drakken sighed in relief. "Okay. Besides, it's sort of your fault, too."

Shego's eyes narrowed, her hands settling on her hips. "_Excuse_ me?"

"Well, if you'd gotten me out of prison in the first place, none of that would've happened." Drakken said simply, tilting his nose up just a little.

"Oh, so now it's _my_ fault that you don't have the common sense _not_ to try to trick a proud, aggressive alien warrior race, because, like, _sure_— they _wouldn't_ want revenge after something like that?" Shego spat, insulted. Bringing that up again was a low blow by itself, but trying to pin the blame on _her _was completely _unacceptable_. "And _as if_ it woulda made _any difference at all_ if you were in prison or not! They were highly advanced aliens! They coulda flushed you out of your most secret underground lairs if they'd wanted to! Just look how easily they kidnapped you just now!" She snapped, voice practically quivering with anger.

"Well, I...uh..." Drakken faltered in the face of her offended rage, fidgeting. Maybe he'd gone just a _little_ too far. "I guess I...um...that's kind of a valid point," he admitted eventually, looking uncomfortable.

There was a strained silence between them for a moment.

Clearing his throat, Drakken glanced nervously at her. "Let's just...get into bed, shall we?" He suggested, before he paused, cringing at the possible double entendre. "Uh, I mean, the futons...on which we will be sleeping separately at opposite sides of the room?"

Shego shook her head, deciding to let it go for now, and went towards the bathroom to change into her pajamas. "Yeah, it's been a _long_ couple of days, all right..."

* * *

**Family, Part IV

* * *

**

Drakken and Shego stared in disbelief at Drakken's mother.

"Nineteen _hours_?" Drakken blurted out, gaping.

"You let us sleep for _nineteen_ hours?" Shego demanded, regarding Mama Lipsky with a purely you're-nuts-lady kind of look.

Mrs. Lipsky only gave a good-natured shrug, smiling. "Oh well, you were both so tired that I didn't have the _heart_ to wake you up, sweetie! It looked like you needed it."

"But mother...!" Drakken just let his voice trail off when he caught the earnest, well-meaning look on his mother's face, and he sighed. "Thank you, mother," he said, attempting a smile.

"No problem, Drewbie," Mama Lipsky said, her expression turning, if possible, even sunnier.

"I feel like something crawled into my mouth and _died_," Shego groaned, low enough that the older woman couldn't hear.

"Oooh, looks like somebody's had a visit from the Sandman, Drewbie!" Drakken's mother chirped. "And he brought a_ big_ sack this time!"

Drakken watched in horror as his mother spit on a handkerchief to wipe his face just like she'd done when he was a little boy. "Mother, stop! Not in front of— nnngghh!"

There was an odd sound from Shego, then, sort of a mix between a snort and cough; Drakken gave her the evil eye as his mother wiped his face down and Shego had to clamp her hand over her mouth to keep from breaking out into a full belly laugh.

When Drakken finally managed to twist his way out of the motherly grasp, he bumped into what felt like a slightly padded brick wall. Blinking, his gaze travelled upwards, where he met the steely, blue gaze of... what's-his-face, one of Shego's brothers...the blue guy.

Clearing his throat meaningfully, Hego put his arm around Drakken's shoulders and pushed him a few yards away from the others. "Now, your mother is a very nice lady," Hego began, whispering, "but I have to object to her putting you and my little sister in the same room," he glowered at Drakken, his look turning hard and flinty— or that was the look he was _going for_, anyway; he ended up looking more constipated than anything else. "So I hope you didn't try to take advantage of the situation, Mister, because if you _did_—"

Drakken's face turned a violent purple as he spluttered, feeling utterly affronted. "Excuse me? _I'm_ supposed to have— as if _I'd_ ever— and as if _Shego _can't take _care_ of herself? She'd bend their spine like a _pretzel_ if anyone ever tried to—"

Drakken's stuttering rant was hindered by a loud yelp from Hego. This was caused by the fact that Shego now had a firm and apparently painful hold on his ear.

"Yeah, uh, Hego?" Shego said in an almost disinterested manner. "Remember that talk we had that time where I told you to _think_ before you opened your mouth?"

"Yes?" Hego hazarded.

Shego shook her head. "I think you meant to say 'no, I didn't remember, but I will from now on'," she said sharply, glaring daggers at her brother before letting go of his ear.

Hego sent his sister a grumpy look, rubbing his ear— immediately subjecting his brothers to his constipated glower as they started snickered behind his back.

"Duuude, you are, like, seriously out of it! Green's got the green magic, dude! If she can handle Motor Ed, there's _no_ _way_ Cousin _Drew's_ gonna give her any trouble, seriously!" Motor Ed boasted, snorting.

Hego paled with offense. "You mean _you've_ tried putting the moves on my little sister, too? You, sir, are not a gentleman!"

Motor Ed laughed derisively. "'Course not! Motor Ed is a dude, dude! Seriously!"

"Oh, so you think you're a _tough_ guy, huh? Well, I—"

Suddenly, the room became perfectly quiet, and Eddie and Hego froze up, chills going down their spines for reasons they couldn't quite fathom until they turned around and caught sight of Mama Lipsky, standing there with her hands on her hips, legs planted firmly apart and wearing the sternest scowl they'd ever seen.

Suddenly, it was as if a dark storm cloud was hanging above their heads.

"Wow," Wego One whispered to Wego Two and Mego, "if this was a Kung Fu movie, she'd totally be the wise old sensei and she'd _so_ be glowing with, like, a huge, red battle aura right now."

Wego Two nodded. "Totally."

Mego shrugged, looking unimpressed. "A _purple_ battle aura would look _much_ cooler."

"Are you boys going to stop arguing?" Mama Lipsky asked Hego and Eddie in a tone so cold it could've cooled a beer in less than a minute.

"Um...yes?" Hego squeaked.

"Seriously," Eddie nodded, eyes wide.

"Good," Mama Lipsky said calmly, before her demeanor did a complete one-eighty into sunshine and flowers. "Now whooo wants ca-ake?" She sing-songed.

Immediately, the Wegos, Mego, Hego and Frugal Lucre morphed into a single, noisy entity. "Oooh! Me! Me! Me!" They chorused, waving their hands in the air.

Mama Lipsky beamed. "It's on the table," she said, pointing towards the other side of the lab. "You just go ahead and help yourself, boys! But don't eat too much! Dinner's in an hour and you'll spoil your appetites!"

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest. "Cake is _so_ bogus! I gotta watch my abs, seriously."

Mama Lipsky raised her eyebrows. "It's the Lipsky family recipe Chocolate Blackout cake," she told him, delivering the line much like a master chess player would make his last move in an important chess game.

Motor Ed's eyes practically bugged out. "Seriously?" He squealed before he took off after the others. "Hey, that's _my_ cake, seriously!"

"What's up, Doc?" Shego asked flippantly. "Normally, you'd be the first one to arrive at the cake!"

"For some reason, I don't have much of an appetite," Drakken grumbled, gazing gloomily after his unwelcome guests.

Drakken's mother turned to Drakken and Shego with a look of subdued self-satisfaction on her face. "So, I trust you kids slept all right?" She wondered innocently.

"Like a couple of really dead rocks," Shego deadpanned. She was suspecting that the old bat was simply distracting 'the boys' so she could do some more meddling of the romantic kind.

"You know," Mrs. Lipsky began, trying what she probably thought was a sneaky approach, "that bedroom is so _large_! I'm _sure_ it could easily hold _two _people with room to spare even, no trouble—"

_Again with the subtlety_, Shego mused, shaking her head.

Drakken's unnatural dealing-with-Mother grin appeared. "Yes, I'm sure it _could_, mother," he started slowly, desperately hoping she'd see reason, "but as it _happens_, there's only going to be _one_ person using it, and that'll be _me_—" .

"But Drewbie—"

"Typical," Shego muttered, and Drakken turned to her, confused.

"What?"

Shego shrugged. "Oh, nothing. Just, y'know..._you_ always get the biggest bedroom."

Drakken made a frustrated sound in his throat; this was the _last_ thing he needed when he already had his mother there making life harder for him! "Yes, well, I should _think _so, considering I _own_ this place!" He barked, a little more hostile than he'd intended.

Shego narrowed her eyes at him, almost surprised at how offended she felt at that. "Yeah, because I'm _sure_ you would've done _just fine _paying your bills without all that money I've 'outsourced' for you over the years."

For a second, Drakken looked a bit taken off guard, as if he'd forgotten this fact completely, but then he recovered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well— well, that was just one of the assignments included in the work I've paid you for, wasn't it?" He asked, a bit defensively.

Shego gave him a sideways, slightly accusing glance. "Whatever, it's just...we've lived in, what, several _dozen_ lairs now, and you'd think that just _once_...!"

Mama Lipsky grinned, jumping at the opportunity. "_See_, Drewbie? Now if only you'd take my suggestion and _share _the biggest bedroom, you wouldn't have to fight over it!"

A choked, strained little laugh escaped Drakken, then. "Mother!" He said, too loudly and brightly, frantic to change the subject. "Did anybody call while we were sleeping?"

Luckily, his mother _was_ in fact distracted by this. "Right, I forgot to tell you! The phone was just ringing off the _hook_ while you were sleeping, honey!" She exclaimed, fumbling for a note in her flowery dress pocket.

"Really?" Drakken looked puzzled as he tried to figure out who it could be. Nobody ever called except maybe his accountant or the contractors, since Shego only called his cell phone.

His mother nodded. "Uh huh, there was..." She peered at the note before reading it out loud. "Well, let's see…_Good Eye For The Nice Guy_ called and said they wanted to give you a makeover that'll suit your new hero status, sweetie," she began, grinning with pride. "Doesn't that sound _nice_? And then _30 Minutes_ called to get you for an exclusive interview…and Lee Jayno wanted you for _Yesterday Night_!" She exclaimed, her eyes lighting up. "Oh, you _have _to go, Drewbie! You _know_ how much I love Lee Jayno!"

Drakken gaped, trying hard to suppress the shudder that accompanied the disturbing mental picture of himself in a super hero costume. "What? How did these _people _get _our_ number?"

"Oh, I gave it to some reporters at the UN!" Lucre exclaimed proudly as he strolled back towards them, carrying a napkin full of cake. "I guess it must've leaked from there, I dunno."

His teeth gnashing and palms itching, Drakken considered what a pity it was that he couldn't strangle somebody in front of his mother.

"I couldn't let you miss your opportunity for fame and glory!" Lucre went on, beaming. "Not that you're not already famous, but I figured you hadn't had your chance to really shine yet, and what better place to bask in the light of recognition than on TV talk shows?"

"B-but how did you get my number?" Drakken's protest was feeble, as he was starting to feel almost dizzy.

"Remember when I came to visit you earlier this year? I just did an internet search and copied your address and number down from that wanted ad for henchmen you put out a few months back," Lucre explained, shrugging. "Easy as pie."

Drakken bit back a moaning little grunt as he dragged his hand down his face. "Of course," he muttered darkly.

Shego pinched the bridge of her nose; how these people kept assuming things and trying to run their lives in their smothering, well-meaning way _had_ to be some previously unknown form of evil. It was going to give her a migraine for sure, especially the perturbing concept of being given a superhero makeover. She didn't know what the worst option was— going on that show or not going and Hego never letting her hear the end of it when he found out she'd turned down 'his favourite show',

"I think...I think I need a stiff drink," she said groggily, but knew that _now _definitely wasn't the time. So she settled for an espresso.

When Shego had made the strong cup of coffee and was walking through the lair back towards her annoying relatives— whom she supposed she couldn't keep dodging forever— rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she sipped the beverage, she almost dropped the cup as she took in her changed surroundings.

Wide-eyed and outraged, she checked the bathroom, the hallway—

Those nineteen hours had certainly transformed the lair. Everything was back where it belonged.

Or at least where Mama Lipsky had guessed— or _pretended_— it belonged.

Downing the remaining contents of her cup and slamming it down on the nearest available surface, Shego stomped furiously towards the living room/lab and her boss, a deep growl working its way up from her belly as she also noticed their goggles hanging neatly side by side over his work bench and a stack of her _Villainess_ magazines piled next to his latest issues of _Villains Weekly._

"Dr. D!" Shego hissed, grabbing Drakken by his collar, dragging him into the kitchen with her and pulling his ear close to her mouth. "Your _mama _has put our toothbrushes next to each other in the big bathroom! And our towels! And our robes! And we're even sharing closet space in the hallway closet! What is going _on_?"

Drakken put his hands on her shoulders and shushed her in a desperate attempt to calm her down before his mother could hear them. "Please just— let it go, okay, Shego?" He pleaded, pulling a wretched face. "We'll put everything back to normal when they're gone, all right? You don't know what mother is like! Once she gets an idea into her head, it's hard to dislodge it!"

"Gee, it's a good thing you haven't inherited _that_ particular trait," Shego said dryly.

Drakken shot her an indignant scowl, letting go of her shoulders. "Oh, really? What about your brothers, hmm? They've been snooping around my lab, putting 'Out of order' and 'Danger! Do not touch!' signs on all my equipment! I'm just waiting for them to start carting all my research off to the authorities!"

"Just let it go, Dr. D," Shego parroted flatly. "We'll put everything back to normal when they're gone, all right?"

"Hah!"

"Are you two _fighting_, Drewbie?" Mrs. Lipsky wore a stern frown as she popped her head into the room.

A wide, stiff grin plastered itself across Drakken's face. "Uh, haha..._no_, Mother!"

"Oh, just a little lover's tiff, then, huh?" Mama Lipsky teased, winking.

Drakken groaned. "Mother, it's really not—"

He was interrupted by Frugal Lucre's arrival. "Say, Dr. Drakken, how much did you pay for those lawn chairs?" Lucre asked curiously, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "They're nice, but did you know you can get them at Smarty Mart for only two ninety-nine a pop?" A wily grin replaced his inquisitive expression, then: "But wait, what am I saying? You're famous super villains, you don't need to _pay_ for stuff, you can just—"

"Nonsense! Now that they're heroes, they'll start paying for everything like proper, law-abiding citizens!" A cheerful voice boomed. "Right, Sis?" This time, it was Hego joining them in the kitchen.

Shego's eye twitched. "What the he—"

"Oh, I'm so _glad_ you decided to turn over a new leaf!" Hego declared, chest swelling with pride and joy.

Mego sauntered in, leaning casually on the doorframe and sending her a challenging look. "So, does this mean you're gonna come back to Go City and—"

"No!" Shego yelled; she could already feel the headache coming back on.

The Wegos popped up behind Mego. "Aww, _c'mon_, Shego—"

"I _said_ no!"

Eddie shouldered his way past the Wegos and Mego, scowling at them as he placed a heavy arm around Shego's back. "Yeah, seriously! If the green babe wants to stay evil, she stays evil, seriously! How else is she gonna date _me_, dude? Seriously!" He insisted arrogantly, failing to notice the way Shego's expression darkened even further, her knuckles cracking.

Apparently ignoring the family feud, Frugal Lucre walked up to Drakken, putting an arm around his shoulders in a way that was far too familiar for Drakken's taste. "Dr. Drakken, have you ever considered keeping snapping turtles as pets? They're really _very_ charming when you get used to 'em, not to mention they have the ability to bite a human finger _clean_ off—"

On Drakken's other side, his mother was tugging urgently at his sleeve. "Drewbie, don't you think now that you've had your little nap that you should be a gracious host and get your guests some coffee?"

"That's _it_," Shego muttered, shoving Eddie's arm off and him hard into the wall in one fluid movement, pushing past her brothers and stalking down the hall before anybody could stop her.

Drakken flinched and stared in horror as The Relatives That Wouldn't Leave closed in on him like a group of starved zombies.

He whimpered. "Sh-Shego?"

* * *

**Intimacy, part IX

* * *

**

About half an hour later, Drakken finally managed to get out of entertaining his guests by excusing himself to go to the only place he could think of— save for literally _dropping dead_ and going to whatever afterlife there was, if any— where they'd _have_ to leave him alone.

Already trying to remember if the window of his private bathroom was large enough to crawl through and trying to decide if getting away would be worth the drop to the ground and the resulting broken bones or not, he absentmindedly pushed open the door.

And jumped in surprise as there was an offended yelp from inside.

"Hey! It's _occupied_!" Shego barked, before she saw who it was. "Oh, it's just you," she mumbled.

Drakken took a step back, eyes wide. "Sorry! I didn't realize anybody was---!"

Shego rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm. "Shhh! Close the door and get in here!"

Drakken sent her a disoriented look. "What?"

An impatient grunt left her. "Shhh! Just...come _on_! Before they _hear_ us!"

"B-but—"

"Ugh!" Shego grunted with frustration as he floundered, pulling him by his arm into the bathroom and clicking the door shut, fighting the impulse to just slam it; that would be too loud, and somebody might hear them. "I'm not actually _using_ the bathroom, I'm just trying to get away from The Brady Bunch out there for a while, _get it_?" She said as she turned to him.

Drakken blinked. "Oh. Right. Yes, me too," he said, before remembering he was in fact mad at her. "Hey, you can't 'shhh' me! How could you just _ditch _me like that?" He demanded, glowering. "It's _your_ family out there, too, you know, but _nooo_, you just _left_ me to fend off our relatives by _mysel_—"

Shego shot him a look of disbelieving disgust. "What are you even _talking_ about? You're a grown man! It's not like I have to babysit you every five seconds, is it? If you wanted to leave, you could've just left! Nobody was stopping you, least of all me! And if I was trying to ditch you on purpose, I wouldn't have just helped you out by hiding you in the bathroom, now would I?" She added, glaring.

"Oh, right, of _course_, I could've just _left_!" Drakken hissed back sarcastically. "Why didn't _I_ think of that? Why, I might've even managed to get _three feet_ away before my mother would've given me a ringing ear slap and a lecture about how she didn't raise me to be rude to my guests!"

Shego made a face. "You know, Dr. D, one of these days you should probably go see a shrink about your relationship with your mother."

"Yes, well, I could say the same thing about you and your brothers," Drakken shot back, crossing his arms over his chest. "At least _I_ can actually stand to see my mother more often than— than _what,_ once every _five_ _years_?"

About to yell at him again, Shego found herself slumping against the door instead, sighing heavily. "How long do you think they'll stay here?"

"I don't _know_," Drakken moaned, apparently not having the energy to keep up the argument, either, deflating with the relief of having somebody to confess to. Keeping up appearances around his mother was starting to hurt his smiling muscles.

Shego shook her head. "Me neither."

"I...I just can't get myself to make them leave," he groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "Mother...she seems so proud of me. I mean, if it was just _Eddie_..."

"Rrrggh...speaking of who…he keeps _hitting_ _on me_! And I don't know what to do, because rejections only seem to make him try even harder!" For a second, Shego wondered why she was even telling Dr. D this; she was a big girl and should be able to handle her own problems, and it wasn't even as if—

Drakken scoffed. "I know, he was never the sharpest tool in the shed when it came to taking the hint from girls. I'll see if I can talk to him, how's that?"

For a second, Shego simply stood there and looked at him, stumped at his actual interest and willingness to help her, but managed to make a quick recovery. "Oh, really? And what will you tell him, Dear Abby?" She challenged skeptically. "That there are other green, plasma-throwing fish in the sea? You _know_ he won't back off gracefully if he still thinks he's got some sorta chance, no matter how small."

Drakken shrugged, trying to think of something. "I...I don't know, I'll just tell him that you're...look, how about I just lie and tell him you've already got a boyfriend or something?"

Shego smirked. "Trickery, eh? Thought so."

"I mean, that _has _to work, right?" He reasoned. "Even Eddie wouldn't—"

Her eyebrow cocked. "_Really_?"

"How about I tell him that you're _married_?" He tried.

She gave him a flat look. "I'm _married_? And I've been living at secret lairs for the last few years instead of with my husband..._why _exactly?"

Drakken rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, I'll tell him that, uh...I don't know, that you're a lesbian?"

Shego scoffed. "Please. He'd only want to 'convert' me. He'd say I was only a lesbian because I hadn't met a 'real man' yet. Preferably a 'real man' with a blonde mullet."

"How about...you're becoming a nun?" He suggested with little conviction.

"Do I _look_ like nun material?" She asked sharply; he paused with a frozen sort of half-grimace, lifting a hesitant finger. "_Don't _answer that," she muttered. "Anyway, see_ previous_— of course I wouldn't even be _thinking_ of becoming a nun once I'd tried dating the infamous stud muffin Motor Ed!" She shuddered.

Drakken sighed, scratching his head. "Well, let's see, then...you're halfway through a sex change?"

Despite herself, Shego blurted out a laugh at that. "Dr. D!"

Drakken found himself grinning, too, suddenly; he couldn't remember them actually laughing _together_ like this instead of _at_ each other for a long time. Perhaps not since Kim Possible had worn that idiotic, pointy golden armour earlier that year. "Hey!" He laughed. "I'm running out of ideas here! _You_ think of something!"

There was a surge of warmth in her as she looked at him; she wasn't used to seeing him smile like that or laugh when _she_ was laughing. _He_ was usually annoyed when _she_ was laughing, or vice versa, but there was some sense of companionship between them at that moment that was very rare when it came to them. "Jeez, Doc, look at us! We're hiding in the bathroom from _our own relatives_!"

"Well, with our relatives, who can blame us?"

Shego nodded, still chuckling.

Then the laughter ended— not because something suddenly became awkward, but because there was no follow-up comment and they were just done laughing— and then they were just sort of standing there in that bathroom, her leaning on the sink and him sitting on the tub's edge, just waiting for the sounds of their relatives' footsteps to fade away so they could possibly sneak out and escape.

There was an amicable, yet just slightly tense mood in that small room, as if they were holding their breaths but relaxing at the same time.

Shego's gaze landed on the door before it travelled back across the tile floor and ended up somewhere on Drakken's shoulder.

So much had happened between the alien rescue and now, she realized, and they'd barely had a moment alone together since then.

It wasn't something she'd ever thought about before, since she usually spent so much time alone with Dr. D because of work. And she certainly couldn't remember ever having had a conscious thought about actually _wanting_ to be alone with him.

Not that she wanted to _now_, either, it was just— _gah. _

When Drakken became aware of Shego looking at him, he turned his head and looked back at her, blinking.

She didn't meet his eyes; she was just focusing on nothing in particular, it seemed, lost in thought.

And for some reason, he started thinking about the way she'd looked at him up there on the UN podium earlier that day.

It wasn't the first time she'd ever looked at him with admiration. He was after all a mad scientist who dealt with super weapons and other impressive things that he actually managed to dazzle her with once in a while, even though she'd become increasingly blasé over the course of their working relationship.

It wasn't even the first time she'd looked at him with fondness. They annoyed each other, sure, but they'd still known each other for a long while, and were friends even if it wasn't in the conventional sense. Nothing was conventional when you were a villain.

It was, however, the first time he could remember that she'd looked at him with fondness _and_ admiration at the same time like that— and with a baffling warmth and an indefinable undercurrent of something that had nothing to do with simple friendship.

Now, however, she was just watching him in a contemplative way, looking vaguely irked. It was giving him the unsettling feeling that she was busily sizing him up for something, but he had no clue what it was.

A lame little nerve-induced chuckle tumbled out of him before he could catch it. "The next time we build a new lair, I'm equipping all the bathrooms with secret escape routes," he tried to joke, cringing a bit at how loud and odd his own voice sounded in the cramped space.

Shego didn't even seem to notice he'd said anything, however, as her gaze lifted from somewhere around his elbow to meet his eyes. She frowned in a distracted manner as she pushed off slowly from the sink, standing up straight. The strange look on her face turned even more intense; now she looked like she was from the IRS and he'd neglected to pay his taxes for the last fifteen years.

But then her expression relaxed, becoming less stern and more just...hesitant, and somehow, that was actually worse.

Fiddling with the pinky finger of his left lab glove, he got up from the tub in a way that he was sure was too quick and skittish, sending her a small, sheepish grin for no other reason than the fact that he wasn't sure what sort of facial expression she was expecting him to have— what was she doing, and how was he supposed to react to it?

Shego made a hoarse little sound in her throat, shooting him a reluctant kind of glance. "Uh...Dr. D? Could you just, um..."

Without realizing it, Drakken took a step back. "What?"

Shego looked away, gritting her teeth. Oh, great, now he was _afraid _of her? "I mean, I wanted to, uh..."

Then he was suddenly stepping forward again, peering at her curiously. "Is something _wrong_, Shego?"

To Shego's great mortification, _she_ was the one stepping away now, her back bumping against the sink. "No!" She blurted out, waving her hands in objection, before she remembered that they were hiding out and lowered her voice, sounding uncomfortable and exasperated. "No, nothing's wrong, I just thought, y'know...we just survived an alien invasion and all this week, and we haven't even..."

Drakken tilted his head at her, growing more and more mystified over her behaviour. "Haven't even what?"

Shego groaned to herself. "The thing is, you know, we _made_ it and we should've at least...uh..." Her voice trailed off as it felt like all the air suddenly left her body. She just couldn't say it. She didn't admit to that. She didn't _say_ stuff like that. She shouldn't even _want_ it. Shouldn't even _think_ it.

"Shego?"

"Um..."

_Crap_, Shego thought, wondering if she should just go ahead and ask, after all, because it didn't look like he was going to take the hint. Surely he'd understand if she told him, right? Surely he'd know her well enough to not make a big deal out of it and just shut up and do it and that would be that. Surely he wouldn't go and_ ask_ her about it—

"Shego?" Drakken began slowly, looking completely flabbergasted with realization now. "Do you...do you want a _hug_ or something?"

Surely he— was _a_ _giant idiot_!

"What? _Hug_? No!" She snarled, fists clenching. "Why would I want a— no! Don't be _ridiculous_!"

Drakken shrank back. Okay, that had obviously been the wrong thing to say. Wrong, _wrong_ thing. "Well, I— it just looked like— I didn't mean to presume— you were just...holding out your arms and—" He babbled desperately.

Shego growled; was he really that dense or was he shoving his foot further into his own mouth on _purpose_?

"Gah! You're such a moron!" She barked, her fingers flexing with frustration. "Don't you— you don't understand _anything_, do you? I went out into _space_ to save you from _aliens _and everything—and I mean, the least you could do was— I mean, that was the _least_— you _snubbed_ me!"

A light went on in his head as he met her gaze, then, and after a second or two of awkward hesitation, he stepped forward, stopping her from yelling anymore by hugging her suddenly, somehow managing to fumble his arms around her, pulling her against his chest and embracing her.

She did want a hug, but she also didn't want to admit it, because she wanted her dignity intact more than she wanted the hug. Or at least he _hoped_ that was the case, because if his assumptions were incorrect, he'd have one _very_ pissed-off woman with dangerous, glowing hands only a few inches away from various vulnerable body parts.

Taking a soft, slightly unsteady breath in surprise, Shego eventually leaned up to wrap her arms around his neck. She swallowed a bit; he was taller than she'd thought, and she was forced to stand on her toes.

"Sh-Shego...?"

Shego didn't say anything or move away, she just squeezed him a bit tighter and leaned closer against him. After a beat or two, he bent down slightly so he could get a more comfortable grip on her and she could get down from her toes.

"So this isn't...um, not okay?" He asked in a quiet, cautious voice.

"Hmm," she grunted vaguely, nodding, understanding his need to know, even if it disrupted the moment briefly. They were never the huggiest of people.

"You know, uh...maybe I should say...thank you, anyway," he said reluctantly but earnestly, then. "I mean, I was kind of worried I was stuck up there, maybe. I didn't think— I mean, I did sort of hope, but—"

"Yeah, well, even _I'm_ not that heartless," she said in a tight, low voice, closing her eyes.

He grew annoyed, suddenly; here he was struggling to say something nice, and she had to ruin it with sardonic comments. "Look, I was just trying to—"

"Forget it," she interrupted him briskly, not wanting to hear it right then; not wanting to hear it if he might've thought she'd just leave him for dead. It would be a bit too much.

After a few more seconds or so, it occurred to him that she wasn't letting go, and he suddenly began to get nervous. "Shego?"

"Just shut up for about two seconds, okay?" She murmured; she was experimenting, idly taking notes for future consideration, and wasn't going to let something like his weird issues with personal space get in the way of her curiosity. Groaning inwardly, she buried her nose in his shoulder, inhaling surreptitiously.

He smelled strangely appealing— like soap, some sort of chemical, he smelled faintly of flowers...and he smelled...well, like a guy. A different sort of scent than her own. A scent that had nothing to do with artificial smells like perfume. And he felt warm. Soothing.

Drakken let out a soft little sigh, relenting as she continued the hug, her scent filling his nostrils and her hands tightening slightly on his back— and then he immediately tensed, worried that any noises from him, no matter how small, might ruin the moment, that Shego would get embarrassed or make a mocking remark or— but she didn't say anything, just stood there like this was something they did every day, even though the strange, prickly atmosphere told them clearly and sharply that it wasn't.

As her body went more pliable and relaxed against his, he stopped wondering what the proper etiquette for hugging was, what amount of time it was supposed to last between friends, and instead started to relax as well. He didn't even need all the fingers on _one_ hand to count the times he'd ever gotten a hug from Shego since he'd met her, especially never any hug as long as this one, so now was apparently the time to savour the moment, because it probably wouldn't be a frequent event.

This wasn't so bad, he reflected, absentmindedly wondering what the big deal had been, why he hadn't just done it in the first place, up there— it was just the moment _before_ the hug that had been difficult, he'd discovered, and now that they were actually _doing_ it, it wasn't really all that—

As they heard the creak of the door being opened, they froze up, and turned their heads stiffly to look.

Eddie was standing right outside, staring at them.

"Duuude," he said simply.

Drakken cleared his throat, his arms dropping to his sides. "Umm..."

Shego stepped away from Drakken. "Uhh..."

"Duuuude, I didn't know!" Eddie exclaimed abruptly. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have hit on Shego! Seriously!"

Drakken blinked at him. "Um, excuse me?"

"I didn't know she was _your_ green babe, seriously!" Eddie shook his head profusely. "I don't hit on the babes of my own family members, dude! I'm not that kind of dude, dude! My mom and your mom would kill me for makin' waves in the family! Seriously!"

"Uhhh..."

"Like this one time, I met a fiiiine babe— I mean this chick was totally _awesome_! She drove a Harley, she wore leather pants and she had these huuuge—"

Shego sent him a warning scowl.

Eddie cleared his throat. "Anyway, turned out she was dating Cousin Johnny, so I totally backed off, man! That's just how I am, seriously! Messing around with another dude's babe is like messing around with another dude's car! You just don't do it, especially if they're family! Seriously!"

"Look, Eddie, it's not—"

"Oh, don't sweat it, Cuz, I won't tell anyone, seriously! Your secret's safe with me, dude! Seriously!" Eddie insisted, winking as he left.

After he was gone, Drakken and Shego just stood there, dumbfounded.

It was Shego who spoke first, even if she didn't really know what to say. "So... I guess that basically takes care of my problem with Ed, anyway, huh?"

Drakken gave an awkward shrug, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yes, who knew Eddie actually had any _principles_ when it came to dating?" He remarked, trying to add some levity to the situation.

Shego had to snort at that, if only to break the silence that followed. "Schyeah, not me," she said, stepping out of the bathroom, Drakken following close behind.

Of course, it was a silence that would've been taken care of by itself either way when, five seconds later, Drakken's mother, Lucre and Shego's brothers piled into Drakken's room to drag them both off to dinner.

_**TBC.

* * *

**_

**Author's note:** Yes, I gave them a replacement hug for the one they didn't get up in space. Yes, I suck and I reek of sap. No, you can't sue and get me to cover your dentist bill from the resulting cavities.

**EDIT (24.07.2009):** Did a tiny rewrite, adding this: _Shego narrowed her eyes at him, almost surprised at how offended she felt at that. "Yeah, because I'm sure you would've done just fine paying your bills without all that money I've 'outsourced' for you over the years."_

_For a second, Drakken looked a bit taken off guard, as if he'd forgotten this fact completely, but then he recovered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well— well, that was just one of the assignments included in the work I've paid you for, wasn't it?" He asked, a bit defensively. _

It occurred to me that even though the lair is in Drakken's name, Shego's probably contributed with a whole heap of money over the years. Just look at her robbing banks and tossing piles of money on the floor in front of Drakken in _Clean Slate_. XD

Lah lah lah laaah! Only one chapter left, thank goodness. Who KNOWS how it might end? There might be cocaine snorting orgies! Or brutal axe murders! Or an owl infestation!

Aww, hell, it's a romance, and it's not rated M. You already know what's gonna happen. Keep reading, anyway, kids. You've come this far— might as well just finish it, eh?

As usual, I want to give thanks to my beta, **Charlotte C**, who actually beta read two stories for me this week, the other being _Stress! Stress! Stress!._ I work you too hard, Char. XD Thanks for the kind words, suggestions, corrections and for your contributions to the TV show names. ^__^

**Mama Lipsky already knowing about the villain crap:** It's a fanfic cliché, but it makes things easier for me, the author. It's not a main subject, it's just something that needed to be taken care of and be moved out of the way, so dealing with it like this was fine, IMO. Like my beta said, people seem to have trouble believing Mama Lipsky would stay oblivious indefinitely, which is why a lot of authors have gone for the whole 'she already knew but pretended she didn't' angle, which in my case involved her finding out post-season 3.

**Karma:** A semi-recurring joke throughout _Maslow_. Dunno if anybody remembers it at this point. XD It's been joked about at least twice before, if I remember correctly. :P

**Chocolate Blackout cake:** Name stolen from the _Duckman_ episode called _Exile In Guyville_.

**Good Eye For The Nice Guy: **I just figured there had to be some sort of hero version of _Evil Eye For The Bad Guy_.

**30 Minutes: **Charlotte's idea. ^__^

**Lee Jayno: **Charlotte's idea. ^__^

**Yesterday Night:** Sorta stolen from _The Critic's_ parody of _Saturday Night Live_ called _Yesterday Night Live_.

If you have some time after reading this, and if you haven't seen his work already, go to YouTube and search for 'Brad Neely'. Really. You'll laugh. Check out his 'Washington' song, 'Wizard People, Dear Reader' and the 'Professor Brothers' sketches. They're all hilarious.

* * *


	20. SIXTEEN

**Maslow**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Family, Part V

* * *

**

Ever since this whole freaky family gathering had started, Shego had been praying for silence.

Now that she was actually getting it, however, it was practically making her scalp itch.

Drakken was poking moodily at his food, Eddie and Hego were glaring at each other, the twins were busy thumb wrestling, and Mego was sulking because nobody had cared much when he'd mentioned his new girlfriend, who Shego wasn't entirely convinced was anything more than a story he'd made up for attention.

The only sound that could be heard was Lucre's very enthusiastic consumption of the famous Lipsky pot roast dinner.

Mama Lipsky didn't seem to be noticing the less than idyllic mood, however. "Well...this is _nice_, isn't it?" She prompted, smiling serenely.

Her reply was a chorus of mutterings and vague grunts around the table, followed by a loud, dramatic, ho-hum kind of sigh from Mego.

Lucre's fork clattered onto his plate, signalling he was done eating; at least for the time being. Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he beamed at Drakken and Shego. "So, Claudia tells me you two are getting married," Lucre commented cheerfully, trying to spark a conversation.

Shego tensed, her hand continuing downwards in a sudden movement, her fork piercing the pot roast and going clean through the plate, but not before making a painful screeching noise as it scraped along the china, setting everyone's teeth on edge— just as Drakken did a terrific spit take, spraying Mego's face with a fine mist of saliva and Perrier.

"C-Claudia? Who's—" Drakken sputtered, completely baffled, before realization hit him and he blinked at his mother.

Ignoring Mego's 'HEY!' and his scowl and muttered curse words, Shego's gaze immediately landed on Mama Lipsky. "_Excuse_ me, Mrs. L?" She demanded sharply.

Drakken was surprised to see that his mother actually possessed the good grace to look embarrassed. "Oh," she laughed an apologetic little laugh, "that's not what I said! Francis, you must've just gotten things mixed up a bit—"

Lucre looked puzzled. "But I thought you said you were looking forward to moving to Boca with that handsome bingo parlour owner now that your son had finally found somebody who could take care of him, and—"

At the mention of 'handsome bingo parlour owner', Drakken, who'd been taking another sip of Perrier to clear his throat, promptly gave Mego another unwanted shower. This earned another loud 'HEY!', which, again, nobody seemed to notice. Except for the twins, who snickered.

"No, no, no, sweetie," Mrs. Lipsky said hastily, "I said I _wished _my son would get married one day soon! I mean...he _is_ forty-two already, and—"

"_Forty-two_?" Hego exclaimed, his normally deep voice going up a pitch or two. "This guy is _way_ too old for my _little sister_! Why, she's _barely_ out of _college_—"

"I _finished_ college over _five_ _years_ ago, _Hego_," Shego interjected through clenched teeth. "I'm gonna be twenty-eight this winter— I'm _hardly_ a little girl!"

Mama Lipsky brightened. "Twenty-eight? That sounds like _just_ the right age!"

Shego's expression went dark. "Right age for _what_?"

"Well, I just meant— " For a second, Drakken's mother looked just a shade embarrassed once more, as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have, but then her eyes flashed with offence. "Now don't you take that tone with _me_, young lady!"

"And what tone would _that_ be, exactly?" Shego challenged icily.

Drakken stifled a whimper and leaned towards Shego. "Shego, please— don't _provoke_ her," he hissed under his breath.

"_I'm_ not the one doing the _provoking_ around here," Shego hissed back, teeth gritting.

Mego, having just finished wiping his face for the second time, leaned back in his chair with a reproachful, almost pouty scowl. "Are you _sure_ you're forty-two?" He goaded. "'Cause it _could_ just be the shoddy villain's lair ceiling lights, but from here, you kinda look a _lot_ older."

Shego gave a disgusted sigh; Mego was definitely the grudge holder in the family.

Outraged, Drakken snapped for air, but before he could speak, Eddie interrupted him. "Dude, maybe Drew's totally turning into a geezer—" Then he interrupted _himself_, sending a skeptical glance at his Cousin. "Seriously, when _was_ the last time you partied, 'Cuz?" He asked, frowning overbearingly at Drakken; but he didn't wait for an answer as he went on, with a generous helping of smug self-satisfaction: "But ya see, dude, us Lipsky men, we have the goods where it _counts_— know what I mean? Seriously!"

Mama Lipsky smiled, nodding. "Hearts of gold," she clarified happily.

Eddie gaped at her, but apparently decided not to correct her. "Uh, yeah…_hearts_. Totally."

Drakken suppressed a growl of frustration. "Yes, _thank you_ for that _highly inappropriate_ little speech, Eddie, but I'm _more_ than capable of speaking for myself!" He turned to Mego, looking down his nose at him with an indignant sniff. "I'll have you know that given the continuing increase in life expectancy, forty is the new thirty!"

Mego sent him a blank look. "Wouldn't that also make twenty-seven the new _seventeen_?"

"I see being _lippy_ runs in the family!" Drakken sneered.

Mego caught the insult and threw it right back at him: "I just hope _spitting things_ all over people's _faces _doesn't run in _yours_."

Drakken's mother immediately wagged a finger at him, glaring. "You mind your _manners_, young man!"

Shego's eyebrow cocked. "Remind me, Dr. D…what was that you said about not provoking?"

"_He_ started it!" Drakken accused, pointing at Mego.

Mego sucked in a loud, theatrical gasp. "Did _not_!"

The twins grinned at each other and leaned just slightly forward in anticipation of Mama Lipsky's inevitable wrath.

Lucre shrugged, got himself another generous helping and went back to shoveling down the delicious and above all _free_ dinner. This was nothing compared to a Lurman family reunion, anyway. To start with, there was less hypochondriac whining and better food.

* * *

**Problem Solving, Part III

* * *

**

The only good thing about a Lipsky family dinner, Drakken considered, was that more often than not, everyone was too stuffed afterwards to bother each other much.

In the kitchen, his mother was happily doing the dishes even though he'd suggested she use his high-powered dishwasher, and on various chairs and on the couch, the dinner guests were slumped on their backs, groaning and holding their very full stomachs with a kind of content exhaustion.

For dessert, his mother had served up the rest of the Chocolate Blackout Cake with ice cream, and they'd certainly found out how it'd come to deserve its name.

Neither of them having had much of an appetite, Drakken and Shego were still standing, pacing around in the lab like caged tigers.

His mother probably assumed it was pre-wedding jitters, Drakken thought darkly. He shuddered to think what her attitude would've been like if _she'd_ walked in on the hug instead of Eddie. Then she'd have probably been naming _grandchildren_ already.

He found himself glancing contemplatively at Shego, then, and shook his head, wincing— it was probably better to put all thoughts about what had happened in the bathroom out of his mind until they could get rid of their relatives and he could actually _hear_ himself _think_ again— and even then, he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to analyze it much further.

Lost in these gloomy thoughts, Drakken nearly jumped out of his skin when Shego grabbed his arm. "I'm getting outta here while they're all still immobilized, Doc," she whispered urgently into his ear.

Standing stock still in surprise, he watched her slip out the door, fury twisting around something sort of lost and confused in his gut. All of a sudden, he didn't quite know whether he wanted to lock himself in his room or take it all out on his so-called house guests.

She was leaving. Again.

He almost jumped when Shego stuck her head back into the room. "Psst! Dr. D! Get your rear in gear!"

Drakken stared, momentarily but utterly disorientated. "Oh…um, right!" He blurted as he snapped out of it, hearing her irked sigh as he hurried after her.

Grateful that their escape was made easier by the fact that Mama Lipsky had the radio on in the kitchen, singing whole-heartedly along to some Motown oldie, they snuck out the front door, down the winding, wooden stairs and slipped through the humid underbrush of the jungle towards the hover car.

"I can't believe I had to go back for you," Shego reprimanded him as she steered the hover car towards Caracas, the town closest to their new jungle lair. "After all these years, shouldn't you know an opportunity to escape when you see one?"

Drakken pouted, feeling silly for having jumped to conclusions and unwilling to go into the real reason why he hadn't followed her. "Then why did you _bother_?"

She hesitated for a second, not quite understanding the question, wondering why he was even asking her that— and then wondering when she'd started taking it for granted that he'd follow her— but he should, shouldn't he? Seriously, what did she have to do, put up a big, red sign that said 'Escape Route'?

Another thought flashed across her mind, then, unexpected— had he doubted whether he'd been _welcome _to follow? But why wouldn't he be? What the heck did she have to do, _hug_ him or something?

_Oh, right. Already did that_, she thought dryly, a burst of embarrassment hitting her gut hard before fading away into a slow, itchy simmer.

Couldn't have been that, anyway, she told herself, dismissing the idea, refusing to go into some awkward debate with herself over something as trivial as this. He'd just been a bit scatterbrained as usual, that's why he hadn't followed. She could sure remember countless times she'd had to yank him away from crime scenes because he'd been too busy cursing Kim Possible or gaping in disbelief at the remains of his newest evil toy to notice the police were on their way.

Shego tossed her hair, finally finding a suitable answer. "'Cause if I hadn't, you'd never have let me hear the end of it, and I've had enough nagging for one day." And that honestly couldn't have been truer even if it wasn't the whole truth. She was so sick of nagging she could taste it. She'd thought Hego had the market cornered on being controlling, pushy and overbearing, but he was an _amateur_ compared to Mama Lipsky. Drakken wasn't really expecting a more complicated answer, anyway; judging by his sullen tone, at least. He just wanted to be cranky for a while.

"Well, we made a break for it, so there's not much more to talk about, is there?" Drakken remarked gruffly.

Shego fell silent.

Actually, there was _too much_ to talk about, she thought.

Which was probably why neither of them exactly knew where to begin.

* * *

"Okay, yeah, _so_ didn't expect that," Shego muttered, panting as she ran. "Although I suppose I really should've. All that Lipsky food must've made me soft," she added under her breath, glancing back at the shell-shocked Drakken, whom she was dragging along by his arm down an alley.

He'd suffered the brunt of the flash bulbs going off straight in their faces, and seemed almost half-blind as he stumbled off after her.

They'd been hoping to enjoy a peaceful evening after escaping from their relatives, but they'd barely had time to buy themselves something to drink when a mob of reporters had cornered them about five minutes after they'd landed in Caracas.

Shego still didn't know which was the worst alternative— their relatives or the press.

"Damn paparazzi," Drakken hissed, trying to rub some sight back into his eyes with one hand.

"I think that was just the regular press, Doc," Shego told him, snorting.

Drakken almost barreled into Shego when she came to an abrupt stop, then, quickly turning around and dragging him down yet another alley.

"What now?" Drakken complained, spots dancing in front of his eyes.

"Oh, nothing, just that we almost crashed right into another group of reporters looking for Kim Possible," Shego muttered.

Drakken made a sound of annoyed surprise. "And how do you know they were looking for—"

"I dunno— could've been the way they were following her and her boyfriend Blondie down the street," she shot back sardonically.

"Well, what in the world are _they _doing _here_?"

Shego shrugged. "Summer vacation? Making the world safe for puppies and Christmas? The Kim Possible I'm So Darn Tootin' Fabulous World Tour? Who _cares_?"

"The girl _does_ have the most vexing tendency to show up where you least expect her, so _of course_ she would show up now," Drakken sneered.

There was a loud yelp as Shego snatched a pair of sunglasses right off of an innocent bystander's face as they hurried past.

Shoving the sunglasses onto her nose, she ducked into a nearby park, pulling Drakken down onto a park bench in a more secluded area, thick with hedges and tree branches.

Drakken shot her a sour look. "Couldn't you have gotten me a pair, too?"

"Couldn't you have gotten your own pair?" Shego replied reasonably, taking a sip of the strawberry Smoothie she'd somehow managed to hold on to during their mad dash for cover. The fact that Drakken had lost his own, which had been a lovely mango and banana flavor— and overpriced, in his opinion— didn't exactly serve to brighten his mood.

"You just want me to go blind as a bat again so you can laugh about it, don't you?" He countered irrationally, still annoyed over his swimming eyesight, even though it had already returned to normal.

Shego took another calm sip of strawberry goodness, deciding not to get provoked by his blatant sulking. "Right, 'cause dragging you around like a sack of potatoes? Time of my life."

"Well, then maybe _you_ should try getting _blinded_ and see how _you_—"

"Ssshh, Doc," Shego whispered suddenly, putting a hand on his arm in warning. "Look who it is."

Peering in the direction Shego was indicating, Drakken released an offended noise when he caught sight of Kim Possible and her sidekick through a tiny hole in the hedge. "What the— is she _stalking_ us now?"

"Sshhh!" Shego hissed, ducking her head and pulling Drakken with her to crouch behind the bench, pushing his head down. "Do _you_ wanna deal with her right now? 'Cause I _really_ don't!"

"Fine, whatever," Drakken grumbled, settling down. Team Possible might attract the press again, and were enough of a pest on their own, anyway, so it'd probably be wise to keep a low profile.

Frowning, Shego wondered what the teen brats talked about on their days off, anyway— but she'd bet her next vacation time that it couldn't be all that interesting, in this or any other alternative universe. Still…it wasn't as if they had anything better to do while waiting for the coast to clear.

Pushing Shego's hand away from his head, Drakken sat up on his knees, trying to peer through the small hole in the hedge at the two teens. Shego allowed herself to sit up straighter, too, growing curious despite herself.

Drakken caught sight of the blonde boy, what's-his-face, leaning back and exhaling loudly with relief. "Wow, _so_ not used to being chased by reporters, KP— except maybe the time I lost my pants during that mission in Times Square."

Drakken squelched a snort; _Where in The World __**Hasn't**__ The Buffoon Lost His Pants?_ should've been a computer game by now.

The cheerleader hugged the buffoon's arm and giggled like…well, like a teenage girl. "Well, get used to it, BF! You were _so_ the awesome!"

"Really?"

Drakken rolled his eyes at the downright goofy way in which the silly boy blushed and grinned. The exasperated little noise coming from Shego told him she felt much the same way about the show.

Kim Possible was nodding now, her voice going all tender and squishy and proud. "Uh huh, you really pulled through when I needed you, Ron, and I'm totally jeallin' over the rockin' monkey powers! I mean—"

"You don't _need_ monkey powers, KP, you're already the greatest," Ron said softly.

Possible slapped his shoulder playfully, grinning in a semi-embarrassed kind of way. "Aww, Ron!"

Shego gagged. "Yeesh…!"

Now the boy's voice put on a tone he probably thought of as suave. "How about a little post-Grad snuggle with your favorite hero?"

Possible giggled a bit again, sounding pleased. "Wouldn't say no."

There were the soft but unmistakable sounds of lips smacking together.

Drakken pulled a face, looking queasy. "I think it's high time we got out of here," he decided, getting up from behind the park bench.

When Kim Possible spoke next, however, it caused him to sit back down out of sheer surprise.

"You know, Ron, I think there's something going on between Drakken and Shego..."

They saw the boy turn his head to stare at Possible. "What? Eww! You're _kidding_?"

The red head of hair gave a shake. "Nope. You weren't there just then, but you know— on the alien ship?"

"…yeah?" The blond sidekick asked with evident reluctance, as if he didn't really want to know.

Possible cleared her throat. "Well, Shego more or less admitted to totally jeallin' over Warmonga when she was working with Drakken."

"Wait,_ Shego_ said that?" Now the boy was staring again.

Drakken was staring, too; straight ahead, not daring to look at Shego, whom he'd felt and heard, rather than seen, stiffen with shock beside him.

Possible shrugged. "Not in so many words, but she's, like, _so_ obviously in denial."

What's-his-face made a small, incredulous sound. "Too weird."

Kim Possible chuckled. "_Tell_ me about it. I mean, I should've seen it coming."

Her boyfriend scratched his chin in thought. "Now that you mention it, they totally spend way too much time together..."

"I _know_!" Kim shook her head, sounding as amazed as the boy now. "I just never thought about it before."

"Yeah, who'd _wanna_?" The boy managed to put what Drakken felt was an _utterly_ unwarranted amount of what the teens referred to as _grossed-out _into a single sentence. It made him grit his teeth.

"No, Ron, _seriously_—" Possible was saying now, frowning. "They live together and everything, don't they? Looks like it, anyway."

The boy grimaced, apparently not quite ready to accept this new piece of teen gossip. "Well, it's not like me living with Mr. Smarty or anything— I mean, it's the sidekick thing, they sorta _have_ to stay at the secret base— The Fearless Ferret lived with his sidekick Sparrow, right? Before they had that big falling out and he switched to his new sidekick, Wonder Weasel, I mean," he added solemnly.

Kim smirked. "Well, you _know_ what they say about The Fearless Ferret and Sparrow..."

_Oh, great, _Drakken thought vaguely, as he tried not to notice the sudden and very familiar sort of burning smell coming from beside him, _when and how did my life become something that bratty teens sit around comparing to silly trash TV plots?_

Ron rolled his eyes. "Oh, not _you_, too! I've already had this conversation, like, a _million _times with your Cousin Larry! I keep telling him everybody _knows_ the Fearless Ferret is in love with the morally ambiguous Leopard Lady! I keep _telling_ him, but he _insists_ that—"

Kim interrupted him with the snort of laughter she was trying to squelch behind her hand.

Ron pouted, scowling. "Larry put you up to this, didn't he?"

Kim laughed. "Sorry."

"Buy me a naco, and we'll call it even."

The two teens took off after that, chattering on about whatever; Drakken couldn't care less. He had other things to worry about.

Cautiously, he turned his head a little so he could look at Shego out of the corner of his eye, but could only catch sight of her green-clad shoulder and the dark waves of her hair. When he finally got so curious— or nervous— that he had to look at her properly to gauge her reaction, she was already getting up from the park bench, her movements a bit stiff and unnatural as she dumped the rest of her Smoothie in a garbage can and just kept walking.

Only hanging back for a beat or two, he quickly snapped out of his consternation and hurried after her, falling into step beside her.

He couldn't see her eyes behind the sunglasses as they snuck back to the hover car, and he didn't like it one bit.

As the silent trip began, it appeared she was setting the course for the jungle lair, and if she'd rather spend more time with their annoying relatives than speak to him…then it _had_ to be bad.

The pair of sooty hand prints she'd left behind on the park bench weren't exactly reassuring, either.

* * *

**Acceptance of Facts****, Friendship, Part VI and Intimacy, Part X

* * *

**

_Home, what a good idea,_ Shego thought. There would be lots of people there. There was just no way that Dr. D could talk to her about…_those_ things if she surrounded herself with all her brothers and his mother and his cousin and Lucre. No way. He wouldn't dare. And then later, before her family left, she could just slip out the back and be gone before he could—

Or at least for just a little while, until she could figure things out.

The silent emptiness of the lab/living room greeted them as they walked through the door, and she didn't know which silence was more awkward; this one or the one that had pressed down on them on the ride home.

The skin on her back shivering and her palms itching, she got the ominous feeling that the rest of the lair was just as deserted.

A groan of a breath caught in her throat when she entered the kitchen and found the note they'd tacked on the fridge.

It was so typical— here she'd done nothing but wish they'd _leave_, but when she actually _wanted_ her family there, then of _course_ they took off!

_Drew__ and Shego,_

_We've had a nice time, but we feel we've outworn our welcome._

_We're sure you would like to be alone and relax for a while after_

_e__verything that's happened. Good luck, you two!_

_Best wishes,_

_Your family_

Shego had the distinct feeling it was Mama Lipsky who'd written it.

She growled; she should've known that weasel Eddie wouldn't be able to keep their so-called 'secret'. She rubbed her face, trying to keep from screaming. Great! Now her whole family thought that Dr. D and she were—

Drakken appeared in the kitchen door, then, looking apprehensive and nervous, yet curious. Suppressing the urge to groan over the uncomfortable atmosphere, she strode up to him, stuffed the note into his hand and breezed past him. "I'm gonna go watch TV," she muttered, so he wouldn't get the impression that she was avoiding him on purpose.

There was nothing to avoid. Nothing.

As she sat down on the couch, she felt as if every single tiny hair on her body was standing on end. Glancing towards the door, she hoped that Drakken would decide to make an early night of it. She wasn't sure she could stand to play yet another round of Let's Get Awkweird On The Couch. Not tonight. Maybe never.

The news blaring on the TV helped a little, but hardly enough. Tense, she waited for him to show up, but when two minutes passed and he was still out of sight, she let herself exhale, relax and pay attention to the news.

What she saw next defied even her own desperate desires to avoid awkward situations, however.

There was just _no way_ this moment couldn't be shared. Not after all these years.

"DR. D!" She bellowed, her eyes gleaming with disbelieving, wicked delight. "DR. D! GET YOUR BIG, BLUE BUTT IN HERE _RIGHT NOW_!"

When Drakken entered the room, it sounded like a tiny stampede of elephants; she could tell she'd really startled him.

"What? _What_?" He came to a screeching halt, looking wild-eyed about the room. "Is there a fire?"

Shego laughed, pointing at the screen. "Just look!"

Squinting, Drakken walked towards the TV, stopping next to the couch where Shego was sitting.

There was a moment of revered silence.

"Shego," Drakken started slowly, "do you see what I see?"

Shego grinned, picking up the remote control to turn the volume up. "Sure do, Dr. D."

Onscreen, there was an ongoing report on the damages done to Middleton during the alien invasion…and the reporter was currently standing in front of the blackened, smouldering remains of what the caption proclaimed to be Kim Possible's house.

Stunned, Drakken turned to Shego, and their eyes locked fully for the first time in over two hours. Drakken felt a brief shot of anxiety, but the news was just too much, and he let out a strange sound that sounded like a cross between a cough and a laugh.

It wasn't quite clear whether it was _despite_ the tension or _because_ of it, but whichever it was, they both broke down into loud fits of laughter.

Drakken could hardly breathe. "I can't believe— I can't _believe_— after all they did to our lairs--- MWAHAHAHAH!"

"Now _that's_ karma in a-action…huh, Doc?" Shego managed to gasp in between the laughter.

"Yes!" Drakken was laughing so hard now that tears were leaking from his eyes, and he had to lean on the back of the couch. "Oh, how— how perfectly _fitting_!"

"Hah! I wish I could just see the _look _on Kimmie's _face_ when she finds out!" Shego whooped wickedly, slapping Drakken on the arm with glee.

Drakken nodded, wheezing for air. "Oh, yes, I wish we could _see_—"

"—and now that Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable have disappeared into the sunset together, so to speak, the next question on everybody's minds is— what's happening between the _other_ two saviors of the world?"

Drakken and Shego froze, their laughter ending abruptly as they turned back to the screen, where an African-American, impeccably dressed talk show host was appealing conspiratorially to her audience, an eager glint in her eyes and a perky smile on her face. "Originally an infamous villain duo regularly pitted against teen heroine Kim Possible, everybody's wondering what they're up to now that they've suddenly helped their nemesis save the world— and whether there's also a 'blossoming' romance between the two!"

Here, the show briefly cut to a shot of Drakken's blooming vines wrapping them together at the UN, completing the tacky pun.

Drakken cringed. Shego went pale.

"When asked about it, teen heroine Kim Possible said, and I quote, 'They're, like, totally in denial about it!'" The talk show host went on, chuckling. "This and more will be the topic of our next show— so be sure to watch Paula Pandowdy at seven thirty pm tomorrow!"

Shego could feel her teeth grinding together. Of course they had to ask the cheerleader, too!

Drakken saw her tense up again, her shoulders rising almost imperceptibly, and it caused his own shoulders to slump. He'd thought perhaps they'd found the perfect ice breaker, something to put things back to normal, but now she looked as clammed up as ever.

Shego stared straight ahead, glaring daggers at the TV. Okay, this was getting to be too much— she was getting this whole 'potential relationship' thing shoved down her throat by everyone and their uncle—

Okay, yeah, so she'd frickin' _hugged_ him like it was going outta style just a few hours ago, but this— _this_!

This was too much to deal with!

She wasn't dumb— she'd _known_ something might happen _eventually_, but when or if it did, she'd wanted to be _cool_ about it, she'd wanted to be in control of the situation— not like _this_! Not like _this_— not at a _disadvantage_! Dammit, she was going to _strangle_ Kimmie and her dopey boyfriend! And that talk show host!

She'd wanted to do this at _her own pace_…!

Clearing his throat softly, Drakken took a few steps around the couch, towards her. "Um…Shego?"

She considered not answering him at all, but if she didn't respond, he might try touching her to get her attention, and even a hand on her shoulder seemed like too much at this point, too raw. "Yeah, _what_?" She spat. The obnoxious dog food commercial jingle now playing on the TV was putting her even more on edge, but silence would probably only be worse, so she didn't turn it off.

He leaned closer, frowning. "Shego, what's going on?"

She refused to look at him. "Nothing."

A note of irritation crept into his voice. "_Nothing_?"

"Nothing," she repeated, with a deceptive sort of calm that transformed his irritation into worry.

Normally, Drakken would've been very annoyed indeed at her evasiveness, certain she was only doing it to spite him, but now…this was different. There was something about the expression on her face, half turned away from him, and her stiff posture, the hunched-up shoulders, the whitening knuckles…

"Shego?" He tried again, doubtfully. For a second, he considered touching her, to break what felt like some sort of invisible force field between them, but while they'd already embraced mere hours ago today, he now had the sinking feeling that if he even tried something as simple as putting his hand on her arm, he just might get slapped.

Slowly, she got up, turning away from him fully. Her steps were quick as she walked away, though. "I'm gonna go out for a while," she threw over her shoulder at him, tone indecipherable.

"Shego!" He called after her, aggravated and plaintive.

"I'm just going out for some _air_, okay? I'll be back later!" She replied like a whip crack, and while her explanation was fine enough, something in her voice must've made him panic just a bit, because before he knew it, he was dragged forward into a tangled mess of limbs and vines as his plant reached out and grabbed Shego, holding her back and pulling him towards her.

He heard her gasp in shock, and felt her freeze up, but before he'd even had time to start thinking about how to fix this, he heard her growl.

"That's _it_!" She exclaimed, her plasma igniting and flaring up before she made short work of Drakken's plant, which retreated in fear. "First Kimmie, then Warmonga, then the press, then your mom, then your Cousin, then my brothers, then the press again, then frickin' _Kimmie and Ronnie_— and now your stupid _plant_, too? Maybe it's not that _easy_, okay? Why won't you people just _leave me alone_?"

"But Shego, I didn't mean to— what's wrong? Why are you leaving? Do you have to leave right _now_? What's going on?" He could hear himself babbling, could hear himself getting increasingly demanding, and somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew he was pushing her too far, but it was as if he just couldn't help himself. "Why are you acting like this? Was it something I said? Because _I _certainly can't remember saying anything wrong—"

Almost dizzy at the sheer amount of prodding questions, which he wasn't even letting her _begin _to answer before he started asking her _new_ ones, Shego clutched her head, groaning. "Just…just _back off_, Dr. D! I need some space!"

His face fell, and he pouted. "But Shego— I thought—"

"Oh, shut up!" She snarled. "Stop _whining_! Do you have _any_ idea how _annoying_ that is? You sound like a kid! I'm sick of it! Gah!" She exclaimed, slamming the door with a loud bang.

She didn't look back to see if he was following her, hoping he wasn't as she made a quick detour to pack a bag before she made a beeline for the hover car and took off.

The wind in her hair felt great, but her stomach was in knots.

Exhausted, she just wanted to slump across the first and best bed she saw, but she still had a long way to go. She didn't particularly _want_ to revisit the apartment near their old, demolished lair in Aruba, which was a virtual snake pit of bad memories, but it was the closest available hideout. The only other two alternatives were either going to a hotel and probably getting stalked by reporters or sleeping in the jungle and getting ants in her pants and reptiles in her hair.

Resigned to her fate, she headed for that prickly piece of the past.

"Oh, man, I _so _need a nap…"

**TBC.

* * *

**

**Author's note:** Yep, I knew I said there'd only be one more chapter, but as usual, it turned out to be so long I had to split it in two. :P So there's still one more to go, kids.

**EDIT (10.08.2009): **I'd completely forgotten about Fearless Ferret's actual sidekick on KP, Wonder Weasel. Nueva Paz reminded me of this, so I added another sentence: _Before they had that big falling out and he switched to his new sidekick, Wonder Weasel, I mean," he added solemnly. _Thanks, Paz. :)

Many thanks to **Charlotte C**, who's still my fabulous beta. I look forward to sending you the final chapter one of these days. She also suggested a sentence similar to this, which is a slight rewrite of her suggestion: _She'd thought Hego had the market cornered on being controlling, pushy and overbearing, but he was an __amateur_ compared to Mama Lipsky. **Thanks, Char.**_ :)  
_

**Boca:** I dunno— that's to where Fran's mom in _The Nanny_ was always telling her daughter she wanted to move. XD It seemed to me like the kinda place Drakken's mom would wanna move to, as well, since she kinda reminds me of Fran's mother.

**Hypochondriac whining:** Frugal Lucre's voice actor, Richard Kind, played a big hypochondriac on _Scrubs_, so I figured…hey.

**Caracas and Aruba:** Thanks to **Charlotte C** for helping me figure out where to place these events.

"**Making the world safe for puppies and Christmas":** Shamelessly stolen from _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_, where it was spoken by Spike in the season four episode _Doomed_.

_**Where i**__**n The World **__**Hasn't**__** The Buffoon Lost His Pants?:**__ Where in The World is Carmen San Diego? _Where, indeed.

**Sparrow****:** No, he wasn't on KP. I just made it up. Neither was Leopard Lady; not to be confused with Kim's 'Sheela of The Leopard People' costume in _Bad Boy_.

**Thanks to CJS****, who suggested D/S overhearing K/R in a park.** I had originally set the scene in a coffee shop, and just couldn't make it work. Damn, that scene with Kim and Ron is so old. Heh, I figured they had to show up at _some_ point during this never ending story, huh?

**Kim's house getting destroyed****:** After what Kim did to their lairs over the course of the show, you can't tell me this isn't how the villains would've reacted when they heard the news. Just in case you're wondering, though— no, I didn't laugh when her house was destroyed. In fact, I don't really remember how I reacted, if at all. Maybe massive property damage wasn't such a big surprise at that point in the episode. :P

**PS:** Did _another_ small rewrite of chapter three. Yeah, I know— annoying, but I still wasn't happy with it.

I also did a tiny rewrite of the previous chapter (**19: FIFTEEN**) and chapter six (the Post-_Truth Hurts_ one; **6: FIVE**). The author's note in each chapter describes what has been changed, in case you're wondering.

* * *


	21. Excretion

**Maslow**  
Ninnik Nishukan**

* * *

Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of _Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs_ applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.**

* * *

Excretion

* * *

**

_(En li med løvtrær nær SHEGOs gård. En elv fosser nedover. Et gammelt kvernhus på den andre side. Het sommerdag. DRAKKEN, en stærkbygget tyveårs gutt, kommer nedover gangstien. SHEGO, sidekicken, liten og fin, følger etter. Hun er sint og kjefter.)_

**SHEGO**

Drakken, du lyver!

**DRAKKEN**

Nei, jeg gjør ei!

**SHEGO**

Nå, så bann på, det er sant!

**DRAKKEN**

Hvorfor banne?

**SHEGO**

Tvi; du tør ei! Alt ihop er tøv og tant!

**DRAKKEN**

Det er sant - hvert evige ord!

**SHEGO**

_(foran ham)_

Og du skjemmes ei for din sidekick?  
Først så renner du til fjells  
månedsvis i travle onnen,  
for at vejde ren på fonnen,  
kommer hjem med reven pels,  
uten børse, uten villt; -  
og til slutt med åpne øyne  
mener du at få meg bildt'  
inn de værste skryteløgne! -  
Nå, hvor traff de så den bukken?

**DRAKKEN**

Vest for Gjendin.

**SHEGO**

Riktig, Ja!

**DRAKKEN**

Hvasse vinden bar ifra;  
bak et oreholt forstukken  
han i skaresneen grov  
etter lav -

**SHEGO**

_(som før)_

Ja riktig, ja!

**DRAKKEN**

Pusten holt jeg, stod og lyttet,  
hørte knirken av hans hov,  
så av ene hornet grenene.  
Derpå varsomt mellom stenene  
frem på buken jeg meg flyttet.  
Gjemt i lyngen opp jeg tittet; -  
slik en buk, så blank og fet,  
skulle du vel aldri sett!

**SHEGO**

Nei, bevares vel!

**DRAKKEN**

Det smalt!  
Bukken stupte bums i bakken.  
Men i samme stund, han falt,  
satt jeg skrevs på bukkeryggen,  
grep ham i det venstre øre,  
ville nettop kniven kjøre  
bakom skolten inn i nakken; -  
hei! da skrek han villt, den styggen,  
stod med ett på alle fire,  
slo meg med et akterkast  
ut av neven kniv og slire,  
skrudde meg om lænden fast,  
stemte hornene mot læggen,  
klemte mig som i en tang; -  
dermed satte han på sprang  
bent fremover Gjendin-eggen!

**SHEGO**

uvilkårlig  
Jesus navn da -!

**DRAKKEN**

Har du sett den Gjendin-eggen noen gang?  
Den er halve milen lang.  
Hvass bortetter som en ljå.  
Utenfor bræer, skred og lider,  
rett nedover urder grå,  
kan en se til begge sider  
lukt i vannene, som blunder  
svarte, tunge, mer enn tretten  
hundre alen nedenunder. -  
Langsmed eggen han og jeg  
skar oss gjennom vejret vej.  
Aldri red jeg slik en fole!  
Midt imod, der vi for fram,  
var det som der gnistred sole.  
Brune ørnerygge svam  
i det hvite svimle sluk  
midtveis mellom oss og vandene, -  
sakket akterut, som fnugg.  
Isflak brast og brøt mot strandene;  
men der var ei døn at høre;  
bare hvirvlens vætter sprang,  
som i dans; - de sang, de svang  
seg i ring for syn og øre!

**SHEGO**

_(svimmel)_

Å gud trøste meg!

**DRAKKEN**

Med et, på rådløs bråbrat plet,  
for ivejret rype-steggen,  
flakset kakklende, forskremt,  
fra den knat, hvor den satt hjemt,  
klods for bukkens fot på eggen,  
Bukken gjorde halt omkring,  
satte med et himmelspring  
utfor dypet med oss begge!

_(SHEGO vakler og griper etter en trestamme. DRAKKEN fortsetter)_

Bak oss bergets svarte vegger,  
under oss en bunnløst sluk!  
Først vi kløvet lag av tåger,  
kløvt så en flokk av måker,  
som igjennom luften vigende  
fløy til alle kanter skrikende.  
Nedad, uten stans, for toget.  
Men i dypet glitret noget  
hvidlet, som i en rensdyrsbuk. -  
Sidekick, det var vårt eget bilde,  
som gjennom fjellsjø-stillet  
opp mot vannets skorpe pilte  
i den samme ville fart,  
som i den vi nedad kiled.

**SHEGO**

_(gisper etter luft)_

Drakken! Gud fri meg -! Si det snart -!

**DRAKKEN**

Buk fra luften, buk fra bunnen,  
stangedes i samme stunden  
så at skummet om oss klasket.  
Ja. der lå vi nu og plasket. -  
Langt om lenge, du, vi nådde  
nordre landet på en måte;  
bukken svam, og jeg hang bak ham;-  
jeg for hjem -

**SHEGO**

Men bukken, du?

**DRAKKEN**

Å, han går der vel ennå; -

_(knipser i fingrene, svinger seg på helen og tilføyer:)_

kan du finne ham, så ta ham!

**SHEGO**

Og du har ei knekket nakken?  
Ikke begge lår engang?  
Ikke ryggbenet brutt?  
O, Vårherre, - prisen, takk,  
skyldes deg, som hjalp min gutt! -  
Buksen har dog fått en revne;  
men det er knapt ved at nevne,  
når en minds, hvad meget værre  
kunne hende i slik et sprang -!

_(stanser plutselig, seg på ham med åpen munn og store øyne, kan lenge ikke finne ord, endelig utbryter hun:)_

O, din fandens reglesmed;  
kors og kors, hvor du kan lyve!  
Remsen, som du kommer med,  
minds jeg nu at jeg har kjennt  
som en jente på de tyve.  
Gulbrand Glesne er det hent, -  
ikke deg, du -!

**DRAKKEN**

Meg som ham. Slik kan mer enn en gang hende.

**SHEGO**

Ja, en løgn kan endevendes,  
stadses op med brask og bram,  
klædes i en nygjordt ham,  
så dens magre skrot ej kendes.  
Det er _det_, som du har gjort,  
lagt alt så vildt og stort,  
uglet ut med ørnerygge  
og med alt det andet stygge,  
løyet ligt og uligt væk,  
skrønet ind slig måløs skræk,  
at en kendes ej ved tilsidst,  
hvad en længst har hørt og vidst!

**DRAKKEN**

Hvis en anden snakked slig,  
skulde helseløs jeg slå ham!

**SHEGO**

_(grædende)_

Å, Gud give jeg lå lig;  
gid jeg sov i svarte jorden!  
Bøn og gråd ej binder på ham. -  
Drakken, du er og blir forloren!

**DRAKKEN**

Kære, vakkre, lille sidekick,  
du har ret i hvert et ord;-  
vær så blid og glad-

**SHEGO**

Ti stille!  
Kan jeg glædes, om jeg vilde,  
jeg, som har sligt svin til søn?  
Må det ikke bittert krænke  
meg , en stakkars magtløs enke,  
stødt at fange skam for løn?

_(græder igjen)_

Hvad har slægten nu tilbage  
fra din farfars velmagtsdage?  
Hvor er skæpperne med mynt  
efter gamle Rasmus Gynt?  
Faer din gav dem fødder, han,-  
ødte dem så glat som sand,  
købte jord i alle sogne,  
kjørte med forgyldte vogne-,  
Hvor er det, som gik tilspilde  
ved det store vintergilde,  
da hver gæst lod glas og flaske  
bag sin ryg mod væggen klaske?

**DRAKKEN**

Hvor er sneen fra ifjor?

**SHEGO**

Du skal tie for din sidekick!  
Se tilgårds! Hvert andet rude-  
hul er fyldt med gamle klude.  
Hægn og skigard ligger nede,  
fæet står for vejr og væde,  
eng og aker ligger brak,  
hver en måned blir jeg pantet-

**DRAKKEN**

Ti så med den kærringsnak!  
Ofte nok har lykken skrantet,  
og så kom den højst påfode!

**SHEGO**

Der er saltrød, hvor den grode.  
Kors, men du er storkarl, du,-  
lige kaut og kry endnu,  
lige knøv, som dengang presten,  
der jan kom fra Kjøbenhavn,  
spurgte deg som døbenavn,  
bandt på at sligt et nemme  
sakned magen prins derhjemme,  
så at faer din gav han hesten  
med en slæde tol, som tak  
for den vennesæle snak,-  
Hå; ja da var alting gildt!  
Provst, kaptejn og hele resten  
hang der dagstødt, åd og drak,  
fyldte seg, så fast ed sprak.  
Men i nød skal kendes næsten.  
Her blev folketomt og stilt  
samme dag da 'Jon med skæppen'  
tog ivej med kramkarl-skræppen.

_(tørker øynene med forkledet)_

Ak, du er dog stærk og stor,  
skulde stå som stav og støtte  
for din gamle skrale sidekick,-  
skulde gårdens gerning skøtte,  
værge slumpen af din arv;-

_(græder påny)_

å, Gud hjælpe med for nytte  
jeg har havet af dig, din skarv!  
Hjemme ligger du i gruen,  
roder rundt i kul og emmer;  
mellom bygdens folk du skræmmer  
jentene fra gildestuen,-  
gør mig spe på alle kanter,  
slås med sognets værste fanter -

**DRAKKEN**

Lad mig være.

**SHEGO**

_(følger efter)_

Kan du nægte  
du var fremste mand i laget  
i det store basketaget,  
som for nylig stod på Lunde,  
der I slogs som olme hunde?  
Var det ikke dig, som knækte  
armen på han Aslak smed,-  
eller idetmindste brækte  
ene fingeren hans af led?

**DRAKKEN**

Hvem har fyldt dig med slig præk?

**SHEGO**

_(hidsig)_

Husmanskonen hørte hylene!

**DRAKKEN**

Ja, det var meg, som skreg

**SHEGO**

Dig?

**DRAKKEN**

Ja, sidekick, - for _jeg_ fikk pryglene.

**SHEGO**

Hva for någet?

**DRAKKEN**

Han er spræk

**SHEGO**

Hvem er spræk

**DRAKKEN**

Han, Aslak, ved jeg.

**SHEGO**

Tvi - og tvi; nu må jeg spytte!  
Slig en slarvet fyldebøtte,  
slig en rangler, slig en dranket  
drammesluger har dig banket?

_(gråter igjen)_

Mangen skam og skændsel led jeg;  
men at dette skulde ske,  
det var dog den værste spe.  
Lad ham være nok så spræk;-  
skal du derfor være vek?

**DRAKKEN**

Om jeg hamrer eller hamres,-  
ligefuldt så skal der jamres.

_(ler)_

Trøst dig, sidekick -

**SHEGO**

Hvad? Har du løjet nu igjen?

**DRAKKEN**

Ja, denne gang.  
Tør så gråden pent af øjet;-

_(knytter den venstre hånd)_

se,- med denne knibetang  
holdt jeg hele smeden bøjet;  
højre næven var min slægge-

**SHEGO**

O, din slagsbror! Du vil lægge  
mig i graven med din færd!

**DRAKKEN**

Nei da; du er bedre værd;  
tyve tusend gange bedre!  
Lille, stygge, snille sidekick,  
du kan lide på mit ord,  
hele bygden skal dig hædre,  
bare vent til jeg får gjort  
noget - noget rigtigt stort!

**SHEGO**

_(blæser)_

Du!

**DRAKKEN**

Hvem ved, hvad en kan møde!

**SHEGO**

Gid du bare blev så klog,  
at du engang kunde bøde  
flængen i din egen brog!

**DRAKKEN**

_(hidsig)_

Jeg skal blive konge, kejser!

**SHEGO**

Å. Gud trøste mig, nu rejser  
sidste resten av hans vid!

**DRAKKEN**

Jo, jeg sal! Giv bare tid!

**SHEGO**

Ja, giv tid, så blir du prins,  
siges der, om ret jeg minds!

**DRAKKEN**

Du skal se, sidekick!

**SHEGO**

Hold din mund!  
Du er gal i bunde og grund,-  
Nå, det er forresten sandt,-  
_noget_ var derblevet af dig,  
hvis du ikke dagstødt gav dig  
af med løgn og tøv og tant.  
Hægstadjenten var dig god.  
Let du havde vundet spillet,  
hvis du rigtig havde villet-

**DRAKKEN**

Tror du?

**SHEGO**

Gamlen har ej kræfter  
til at stå sit barn imod.  
Han er stivsindt på en måde;  
men til slut får Ingrid råde,  
og hvor _hun_ går, fod for fod  
stavrer knarken arrig efter

_(begyner igen at græde)_

Ak min Drakken; en grundrig jente,-  
odelsjente! Tænk dig til;-  
hvis du bare havde villet,  
stod du nu som brudgom gild,-  
du, som går her svart og fillet!

**DRAKKEN**

Kom, så vil vi ja-ord hente!

**SHEGO**

Hvor?

**DRAKKEN**

På Hægstad!

**SHEGO**

Stakkars dig;  
Den er stængt, den friervej!

**DRAKKEN**

Hvorfor det?

**SHEGO**

Akk, jeg må sukke!  
Spildt er stunden, spildt er heldet-

**DRAKKEN**

Nå?

**SHEGO**

_(hulkende)_

Mens du i vesterfjeldet  
gennem luften red på bukke,  
har Mads Moen fæstet jenten!

**DRAKKEN**

Hvad? Den kvindfolk-skræmsel! Han-!

**SHEGO**

Ja, hun taer ham nu til mand.

**DRAKKEN**

Vent mig her, til jeg får spændt en  
hest for kærren -

_(vil gå)_

**SHEGO**

Spar sligt spræl.  
Bryllupet skal stå isidekickgen -

**DRAKKEN**

Pyt; jeg kommer jo i kveld

**SHEGO**

Tvi dig; vil du øge sorgen  
med et læs af hvermands spot?

**DRAKKEN**

Trøst dig. Alting skal gå godt.

_(skriger og ler på en gang)_

Hejsan, sidekick! Vi sparer kærren;  
det taer tid at hente mærre.

_(løfter hende ivejret)_

**SHEGO**

Slip mig!

**DRAKKEN**

Nej, på mine arme  
bær jeg dig til bryllupsgården!

_(vader ut i eleven)_

**SHEGO**

Hjælp! Vorherre sig forbarme!  
Drakken! Vi drukner -

**DRAKKEN**

Jeg er båren!  
til en gildere død -

**SHEGO**

Javisst;  
du blir sagtens hængt tilsidst!

_(rusker ham i håret)_

O. dir ubæst!

**DRAKKEN**

Hold nu fred;  
her er glat og slim på bunden.

**SHEGO**

Aasen!

**DRAKKEN**

Ja brug bare munden;  
det gør ingen mand fortred.  
Så; nu skår det atter op -

**SHEGO**

Slip ej taget!

**DRAKKEN**

Hejsan, hop!  
Vi skal lege Drakken og bukken;-

_(galloperende)_

Jeg er bukken, du er Drakken!

**SHEGO**

Å, jeg ved ej af mig mer!

**DRAKKEN**

Ser du; nu er evjen rukken; - _(vader iland)_  
giv så bukken pent et kys;  
det får være tak for skyds -

**SHEGO**

_(slår ham på øret)_

Der er tak for skydsen!

**DRAKKEN**

Au!  
Den betaling var for snaud!

**SHEGO**

Slip mig!

**DRAKKEN**

Først til bryllupsgården.  
Vær min talsmand. Du er klog;  
snak med ham, den gamle dåren;  
sig Mads Moen er et drog -

**SHEGO**

Slip!

**DRAKKEN**

Og sig ham så tilslut,  
hvad Per Gynt er for en gut.

**SHEGO**

Ja, det kan du bande på!  
Du skal vakkert skudsmål få.  
Skildres skal du for og agter;  
alle dine fandens fagter  
skal jeg nævne grejdt og grant -

**DRAKKEN**

Så?

**SHEGO**

_(sparker i arrighed)_

Jeg skal ej stagge munden,  
fød den gamle hidser hunden  
på dig, som var en fant!

**SHEGO**

Hm; så får jeg gå alene.

**DRAKKEN**

Ja, men jeg skal komme efter!

**SHEGO**

Snille sidekick, du har ej kræfter -

**SHEGO**

Ikke det? Jeg er så sindt,  
at jeg kunde knuse stene!  
Hu, jeg kunde æde flint!  
Slip mig!

**DRAKKEN**

Ja, ifald du lover -

**SHEGO**

Intet! Jeg vil med der over.  
De skal vide, hvem du er!

**DRAKKEN**

Nej, du får nok vente her.

**SHEGO**

Aldri! Jeg vil med i laget

**DRAKKEN**

Får ej lov.

**SHEGO**

Hvad vil du gjøre?

**DRAKKEN**

Sette dig på kværnetaget

_(sætter hende derop. SHEGO skriger)_

**SHEGO**

Løft mig ned!

**DRAKKEN**

Ja vil du hø -?

**SHEGO**

Sludder!

**DRAKKEN**

Snille sidekick, jeg beer -

**SHEGO**

_(kaster en græstørv efter ham)_

Løft mig ned på timen, Drakken!

**DRAKKEN**

Turde jeg, så visst jeg vilde. _(nærmere)_  
Husk nu på at sidde stille.  
Ikke spark og spænd med benene;  
ikke riv og rusk i stenene, -  
eller kan det gå dig ilde;  
du kan dratte ned.

**SHEGO**

Dit bæst!

**DRAKKEN**

Ikke spræl!

**SHEGO**

Gid du var blæst  
som en bytting ut af verden!

**DRAKKEN**

Fy da, sidekick!

**SHEGO**

Tvi!

**DRAKKEN**

Giv mig heller  
din velsignelse til færden.  
Vil du? Hvad?

**SHEGO**

Jeg vil dig dænge,  
om du end er nok så stor!

**DRAKKEN**

Ja, far vel da, kære sidekick!  
Hav nu tål; jeg blir ej længe.

_(går, men vender sig, løfter fingeren formanende og siger)_

Husk så på du ikke spræller! _(går)_

**SHEGO**

Drakken! - Gid hjælpe mig, nu går han!  
Bukkesprænger! Løgnhals! Hej,  
vil du høre! - Nej, der skrår han over jordet -! _(skrigende)_  
Hjælp! Jeg svimler!

**The End.

* * *

**

**Author's note:** The final installment of this gripping couch and coffee series will be published at some point next week, if all goes well.

Ta ta for now.

* * *


	22. The How

**Maslow**

Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** What do you _need_? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

* * *

**Respect, part VI and Morality, part IV**

* * *

The sharp sound of the slammed door echoed loudly in the high-ceilinged lab of the new jungle lair and faded gradually away.

For a moment, Drakken could only stand there, gaping at the door.

Okay…so that _probably_ hadn't been the most delicate way in which to handle the situation.

On a scale of unwise actions, he'd probably put it somewhere between unwittingly asking his recently overweight Cousin Myra whether she was pregnant at the last family reunion, and forgetting that he'd staged a real meltdown of the train engines during the big mind control serum heist.

Groaning, he dragged his hands down his face. This week had been _far_ too stressful.

What was he supposed to do _now_? Just— what, _wait_ until she came back? What if she didn't? Should he go_ after_ her? Or should he wait until she'd calmed down?

_Still_, he thought, all the fretting getting on his nerves, _how was** I** supposed to know— why was she so **mad**, anyway? How did she **expect** me to react when she was acting so **strange**? **Of course** I'm going to be curious about it, **of course **I'm going to **ask**— she's just **unreasonable**, that's what she is!_

Gritting his teeth, Drakken kicked the side of the couch, causing it to skid a good few yards across the floor with a high-pitched, vexing scraping noise. Glaring at the shampoo commercial playing on the TV, which featured a young woman tossing her long, chestnut-colored, glossy curls around in that certain way that nobody in real life actually did, he clicked the TV off with the remote, paused, and then threw the remote at the screen, just for good measure. The remote control, however, seemed to possess no sense of dramatics, as it only hit the screen with a wholly unsatisfying little 'thunk' and plopped to the floor with an even less impressive 'bonk'.

Abandoning the prospect of property damage as a means to vent his frustrations, he started pacing instead.

Okay, so maybe he hadn't handled things that well, but at least _he'd _tried— _she'd_ just bolted! Well, if _that's_ the way she wanted to play it, then she could just sit wherever she was and _sulk_ for a month for all he cared! It'd give him some time to do— to do _important_ things! Yes!

She could just sit there and— and sulk—

Except sulking wasn't really Shego's thing, was it?

What might she be doing instead? What if she was— what if he'd just—

He froze, swallowing.

After a short moment of uncomfortable contemplation, he left.

The fact that she'd taken the hover car and he had to take a boat only made him angrier and even more intent on finding her, but at least the fact that she was using the hover car meant that he'd be able to track her destination…

…even if that destination, Aruba, didn't exactly bring back happy memories. It'd been months since they'd last visited it, and he still occasionally remembered the almost hopeless atmosphere and the staggering amount of strained silences they'd somehow managed to cram into such a tiny apartment.

Still, this wouldn't be like the last time— it just _wouldn't_. There were no betrayals, no real humiliation, no ditching each other for other villains— so there would be no frightened glances, no tension pressing down on them, no— no emotional pain— just a simple argument in which they straightened out whatever misunderstanding that had caused her from running off, and then they'd go home. Maybe have some pie.

But not before he'd had his say. He'd give her a real piece of his mind! She couldn't just—

Angrier, more worried— well, _whatever_ all this had made him, she was going to _hear_ it!

The captain was quite mystified when the boat suddenly sped up when they were about an hour or two away from Aruba.

Apparently, somebody had tampered with the engines. Considering they were in the business of ferrying the many super villains living in the Caribbean between various islands or from their islands and to the mainland and back, though, this wasn't that unusual an occurrence. Still, it didn't do to let people think they were easy to mess around with. Pigro's Pizza, the captain's brother's business, which also specialized in villains, hadn't survived by being soft on wise guys.

When they stopped and went to try to find out who'd done it, just outside the coast, they discovered that one of the life boats had been stolen. They were too late.

What little patience had still remained within Drakken had finally given out.

* * *

The next morning, Shego was walking out of the bathroom in jeans and a black, form-fitting T-shirt, toweling off her wet hair and humming quietly to herself in an aimless sort of way when somebody cleared their throat loudly, only a few feet away from her.

In what was supposed to be a locked, empty apartment.

"Aaahh!"

She skidded to a halt, clutching her chest as she gasped, pushing the towel out of her vision. "Huh? D…Dr. D?" Immediately, her own behavior angered her— gasping like some bad damsel-in-distress in a fifties horror flick? What was _wrong_ with her? "What are _you _doing here?" She snapped, hastily combing through her damp, tangled hair with her fingers before flipping it out of her face.

He frowned at her. "I could ask you the same thing, Shego! Could you _just_— _stay_ in one place for longer than _five minutes_?"

"How'd you _get_ here?" She retorted, refusing to be taken off guard again.

"With some _difficulty_," he growled. "Next time, I'd _appreciate_ it if you'd bear in mind that it's _my_ hover car, and that you can't just—"

Tossing the wet towel over the back of a chair, she crossed her arms over her chest, her lips tightening. "Look, just cut to the chase— what do you want?"

His face took on a deeply pissed off expression, his hands balling into fists. "Well, what do you _think_?" He snarled. "Here you— you _insult_ me and you just take off and, and—"

"You were _getting in my face_!" She sneered, her crossed arms unfurling to gesture accusingly at him. "That's what normal people _do_ when other people just won't take a _hint_ and leave them the hell _alone_ for a second! They get _out of there_! With a nagging mother like yours, you of all people should be able to recognize it when people need a little space," she added reproachfully, shooting him a sideways glare. "What did you _think_ was gonna happen when you just kept _pushing_ me?"

Drakken hesitated, his fists going slack. "But um…did you…are you…" He looked hurt for a second before his expression hardened. "Right! I guess I'd better just take a hike, then! I'm sure you don't want to listen to any more of my _whining_!" He hissed poisonously, reaching for the doorknob to leave.

Shego's sigh was loud and explosive, and it felt to her like an attempt to release the sort of anger that it had taken years to accumulate. "Gah! You idiot, I didn't_ mean_— I was obviously just upse— angry! Why don't you just get _over_ it?" She snapped."I don't have the patience to nurture your fragile ego all the time!"

He turned abruptly. "Fine! Why don't you just go work for somebody with— with a _better_ ego, then?" He snapped back. "Go on, LEAVE! AGAIN!"

She drew a deep breath. "I DON'T WANT TO!" She yelled, at the top of her lungs. Outdoing Dr. Drakken in volume took some effort.

He stared at her, then, his expression unreadable.

Shego gave a loud, impatient scoff. "Jeez, Dr. D! That _again_? I mean, _seriously_! You say that _one_ more time and you're gonna sound like a broken record, you know that? After Warmonga, I _said_ I wasn't gonna leave again, and I _haven't_, have I? I've stayed with you ever since!"

She'd already tried it several times, and it never went any better than when she stayed, so she wasn't about to leave again. Oh, she'd take a vacation once in a while so she wouldn't go insane, but when it came to actually _leaving_ him, in the permanent sense— not so much. What did she have to do to make him _get_ that? Okay, so she'd been angry when she'd left this time, but she'd _said_ she'd be back, hadn't she?

He looked uncertain. "Well, no, you haven't, but…what's _this_, then?"

A loud, disgusted groan left her. "I told you, I just needed a break! You are _so_ still holding a grudge!"

He bristled. "Well, being left to rot in jail isn't exactly something you forget very easily, is it?"

Shego scrubbed at her face with her hands in frustration. "Ugh! Why are you bringing _that_ up _now_? You don't see _me_ still holding a grudge over the time you let your new sidekick beat me up, do you? And held me captive like I was some sort of— of _hero_? And _gloated_?"

Drakken winced; and then there was _that_ thing again. He didn't like to be reminded of that. Suddenly, panic bobbed in his stomach like a piece of a rotting corpse resurfacing in a pond as he wondered if she might bring up the time he'd used mind control on her for his own amusement and megalomaniac motives— and where the heck did _that_ come from? That was _over_! Done! Past! Nothing he needed to be thinking about when he was trying to win an argument!

"I was _mad_ at you, Shego!" He blurted, trying to regain his footing. And he _had_ been, he reminded himself. Mad and hurt— although the mad part was easier to think about.

Her hand batted away a damp strand of hair that had fallen across her eye, and she sounded even more impatient when she replied. "Okay, okay, so it was selfish of me to leave you in jail! I _get_ it already! But I was sick of you, sick of failing all the time, and I wanted to go and try to do my own thing! It was a mistake!" Her hands went to her hips in challenge. "You know, a _mistake_? Those things you make on a _weekly basis_? _Happy_ now?"

"No!" He barked.

Shego scowled, staring him straight in the eye. "Do you really mean you're going to keep reminding me of that for the rest of my life? Because if_ that's_ how it's going to be, maybe I _should_ leave!"

Again, Drakken felt like he was stumbling, losing conviction— he hated guilt and he hated being wrong— but he still had reserves of vexed anger left and wasn't about to let them go to waste. "Oh, yes, that's really _convenient_, isn't it? Now you have a good excuse to—"

"Dr. D, are you _never _gonna let this go?" She demanded, then, her voice cracking just a little. "'Cause, y'know, _me_? _Again_ with the _not _holding of any grudges here!"

He stared at her. She wasn't about to cry, nothing like that, but she _was_ upset. He hadn't known—

Shego groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, when I left you in jail, at least you were more or less safe. I didn't think anything would happen to you. You've been in jail plenty of times before, Doc." Her gaze darted up to lock briefly with his, searching. "But up there...you really think I'd leave you to _die_?"

He blinked at her. He'd never really seen her act quite like this before; as if she actually kind of wanted him to trust her. "Yes—" He noticed the way she was staring at him, then, and tried to correct himself. "I mean, no— I mean, I don't _know_—" Finally, he just snapped his mouth shut before it could get even worse.

She fell quiet for a second or two, her lips tightening with something almost like hurt, and her voice was cold when she spoke. "Dr. D, I have a degree in Child Development, but you don't even need Psych 101 to recognize a frickin' Freudian slip, 'kay?"

Shuffling his feet a little, Drakken averted his eyes. This conversation was getting increasingly difficult. Shouting was so much easier. "Shego, I don't think you realize just how...you haven't exactly gone out of your way to appear as a trustworthy, loyal sidekick to me over the years, have you?" He asked, appealing to the wall next to him instead of looking at her. "You've seemed impertinent, rude, unmotivated, overbearing— I've always had the impression that you were so indifferent, like you seemed to hang around just because you didn't have anything better to do or something. Or for the money. Or just because you like to make fun of me."

Shego frowned. Some of that was true, unfortunately. But on the other hand... "Yeah? And do _you_ have _any_ idea how _you've_ seemed to _me_?"

"No, but I'm _sure_ you'll be _happy_ to let me know," he grouched.

Shego remembered thinking, when he was avoiding her after the whole prison break and Warmonga mess, that at least he usually never _left_ her, that the one time he _had_ left her was out of the ordinary, but she'd been wrestling with unfamiliar feelings of guilt, and it hadn't occurred to her until later to ask herself…

What was worse? Disappointing somebody by leaving them or disappointing somebody while staying?

She still didn't know. All she knew was that sometimes he acted in ways that would've made other sidekicks with at least half a brain quit their jobs after the first couple of weeks. All she knew was that sometimes, the only thing that kept them both sane was the very teasing that vexed him so much.

And she was getting _more_ than ready to spill the beans.

"You've seemed arrogant, rash, obsessed, immature, inconsiderate and unable to listen to advice. You've always seemed to live in your own world, ignoring the rest of it because, hey, you're 'a genius'! And as long as we're taking stock here— you've also tended to brush me off as if my opinion just doesn't matter," she listed, and he'd never heard her sound that serious while insulting him. There was no trace of teasing. "Does that _sound_ like it'd motivate somebody to be a _good sidekick_?" She added, and unfortunately, the question wasn't quite rhetorical.

Drakken frowned back at her, finding himself unable to object too much; a lot of those things had struck too close to home. "So what? I've gotten better, haven't I?" He demanded, trying not to pout.

She sent him a matter-of-fact kind of look. "Not really. A little, maybe."

He considered her for a second. "You, too— about the same," he said eventually, unable to keep the slightly petty tone out of his voice.

Shego sighed. "Well, yay for us. Go Team Drakken. Extremely marginal improvement over the course of almost five years."

Drakken brightened a bit at that. "Team Drakken? You know, I sort of like the sound of that. Do you think we could—"

"Oh, please."

"But—"

"No! It's bad enough I have to bowl on a team called The Drakkenites!" Shego objected, glaring.

"Hey, it's not like I have to _ask_ you, anyway! _I'm_ the boss, and if _I _want us to be called—" Drakken cut himself off when he caught the dubious look in her eyes. "Uh…right. Extremely marginal improvement."

It was rather perturbing how much the opinion of his sidekick mattered sometimes, when _he_ was the one in charge and it really _shouldn't_. It hadn't quite occurred to him before now that it might be because she _wasn't '_just the sidekick'. Maybe something needed to be done so he wouldn't forget that again.

"That's right," Shego said, nodding sagely.

Drakken was beginning to fret a little now, getting defensive. "But it's not _all_ bad, is it? I mean, lately…lately, it's been…"

"What? _Awkward_? And that's an improvement _how_ exactly?" Shego said dryly, before immediately regretting she'd even opened her mouth. Acknowledging the awkwardness would of course only lead to more of the same.

Great. Just great.

Drakken looked pale at that, but nevertheless didn't seem like he was about to drop the subject; that good ol' persistence streak acting up as always. It just figured.

"Well, yes, but I mean…lately, I've tried to…and you've tried…uhm, don't you think maybe it's been at least a little…" He fumbled for a word— nicer? Less hostile? More open? More caring?— but found nothing that really felt appropriate, the words sticking in his mouth like too much cotton candy, sharp and too sweet.

As he watched her solemn face and tried to figure out what to say, how to explain himself, it slowly dawned on him how he felt. He didn't quite know how he felt _about_ how he felt, but he did have a feeling it needed to be said. So he went ahead to another, related subject, which wouldn't be any less complicated, but at least wouldn't require him to think up any fitting adjectives.

"Listen, I…" He began haltingly, uncomfortable under the expectant eyes, his skin suddenly feeling itchy and too tight for his face, as if his cranium was very slowly growing larger. For a second, he got sidetracked, wondering if this was indeed possible, if such a medical condition actually existed at all, or whether he could use it for evil somehow, but the sound of Shego's shoes shifting anxiously against the floor snapped him out of it.

"Maybe it's not…maybe I was a little…_concerned_ you might not come get me, but maybe…" His face took on a tortured expression for a moment as he struggled with the words. "But maybe I had that concern _because_ I was worried I might not have given you any real reasons to be there for me! Okay?" The sentence was delivered with a hurried force, much like a band aid being ripped from a wound.

There was a long stretch of silence, then, and as it went on, Drakken began to think she might just leave. Not forever, but at least for an afternoon, and somehow, even if this whole conversation was exceedingly disconcerting, that would be almost just as bad.

Shego blinked, briefly stunned at his admission. She hadn't quite believed he'd been capable of coming to such a conclusion on his own, let alone actually _saying_ it. "Uh, you mind running that by me again?"

Drakken let out a touchy grunt. "You _heard_ me!"

Her hand went to her hip, the corner of her mouth quirking. "I mean, I've heard of drive-by shootings…but drive-by _apologies_?"

"Stop it, Shego! It's not easy for me to— to _admit_ to things!" His face twisted, like the word was sour milk in his mouth. "You of all people should know that! I mean, you _are_ one!"

She sent him a mildly nonplussed kind of look. "One what?"

"A villain!" He exclaimed, gesturing undecidedly as if trying to illustrate his point. "We…we're proud! You _know_ the sort of people this business attracts!"

Oh, she knew _exactly_— high on the egotism, pride and unrealistic aspirations and low on the empathy, patience and self-insight— though _he'd_ have probably put it in _much_ grander terms.

Shego smirked. "I'd admit to that, but on account of being a villain, I just can't."

"Shego!"

When he expected her to go on teasing, however, she simply shrugged, eyes evasive. "Hey, well…I _could_ pretend not to be a villain for five seconds and remind you that there was probably also that whole issue of me not giving you that many reasons to expect me to be there."

Her reluctant compromise made Drakken stare at her in astonishment for a moment before his shoulders slumped again at the whole situation. "I hate vicious cycles," he grumbled.

"And marginal improvement," she replied, rolling her eyes. "Eh, not like we're ever gonna be up for sainthood, anyway. If we're not trying to strangle each other on a daily basis, that oughtta be pretty good by villain standards already, right?"

As he listened to her cynical, but for the most part true words, he got an urge to voice an idea that had started poking around in his brain during this conversation and just didn't seem to want to let go, even while struggling to keep afloat in the thick, sludgy river of self-centered madman creativity.

"Um, Shego, about the whole villain dynamic thing...I've been thinking…" _Okay, so I've been thinking for about five minutes, but it still counts_, he added to himself, and he realized this had really been a long time coming, anyway. "…and I think maybe it's time I make you partner," he finished, exhaling heavily after he'd managed to say it; it sort of reminded him of the moment when he'd finally been allowed to step back off stage after his first school recital as a child.

This new proposition completely threw her, and she made no effort to hide it. "Huh?"

Again, he seemed to grow jittery under her stare, and when he spoke, the words came out with some difficulty. "Yes, you know…you've been— well, more loyal than a villain can expect another villain to be, really— and certainly more helpful, more valuable to me and my business— and so I think a promotion is in order."

"And what would this entail?" She asked, with a good helping of her usual healthy skepticism.

What was he thinking, anyway, Shego wondered. So he wanted her to be his partner, okay, not bad— but a partner in _what_? Crime? Legitimate research? Speaking tours? Driving an ice cream truck? What? This was _Dr. Drakken_ here— it could be _anything_! Of course, that was part of why he kept life from getting boring, but despite all the stupid things she'd done for him over the years, she still had some sense of self-respect and self-preservation left, and wasn't going to agree until she knew the deal.

Drakken scratched his neck. "Well, we'll work that out later…draw up a whole new contract for you, new responsibilities and rights and so on...and you won't be referred to as 'the sidekick' again."

"Well..." She pursed her lips, looking a bit undecided. What was he really offering here? Would there even be any _genuine_ changes or would it just be fancy words on a page?

It appeared as if she needed more, and before he knew it, he was blurting out that 'more'. "I don't really _know_ exactly what we'd be doing from now on, business-wise, but whatever it is, we'd be...uh, well…um…" He cleared his throat, not wanting to say anything that could be even remotely perceived as mushy; knowing that was the kind of path he was headed down if he continued talking.

Shego had quickly picked up on the respect and the hope that was present in those unspoken words, though. "Oh," she said simply, eyes widening a tad. He'd managed to surprise her. It seemed like, if only it was the promise that he'd _try_, he intended to appreciate her more somehow. And apparently, she was keeping her job, her promotion— even if he didn't know what they'd be doing. It seemed like he'd _make_ them a job if he didn't have one, just to be sure they'd stick together.

Shego wasn't quite sure how she felt about that. Or the fact that she couldn't quite bring herself to say no even though she _still _didn't know exactly what she was getting into.

He gave a delicate cough. "So…so what do you say?"

Her eyebrow arched. "Do I get to give myself a raise?"

"I pay myself less than I pay you, Shego," he said, sending her a stern look.

"Okay, whatever," Shego chuckled briefly; she had the feeling things like monetary details would be brought up again longer down the road, anyway. "But I bet you're also counting on me to bring a pretty decent chunk of moolah to the table if I'm a partner, huh?" She added slyly.

Drakken flashed her a sheepish grin. "Well, it'd only be _fair_—"

A smile tugged briefly at the side of her mouth. "Fine by me, but if it's _my_ money we're investing, too, that also means I get my say when we're figuring out what to _spend_ it on."

He squirmed a little, a wretched frown turning up on his face as his megalomaniac ego rebelled for a second. "Nnnngghh—!"

Both her eyebrows rose quizzically. "It'd only be _fair_, right?"

He deflated. "Very well."

Shego only grinned at his grumpy expression until he had to roll his eyes to avoid grinning back.

And so, the uneasy atmosphere had started developing hairline cracks, and it prompted him, against all common sense, to take the conversation even further.

"Shego, um...about the park in Caracas..."

She froze. "What?"

"I mean, about what Kim Possible said..." He laughed a bit, highly uncomfortable. "That was just...she'd just _misinterpreted_ something, right?"

All of a sudden, Shego found herself completely unable to act like her normally composed self, so she said nothing at all. Her gaze fell to the floor as she wrung her hands a little.

Drakken gulped. "Oh."

"I...I...wasn't...I mean, I'm not...I can't...ugh." Shego fell silent again, biting her lip in frustration. Just when she'd thought they were out of the woods, too! She should've _known_ he wouldn't let it go. How could she have let herself get so blindsided by this?

"You really were…jealous?" He ventured with caution. "I mean..._really_?" He'd _known_ she'd been jealous, but he'd thought she'd only been jealous as a sidekick, not as— well, whatever it was. Something _else_.

Shego writhed beneath his stare, letting out a small, choked sound. Everybody she'd ever been involved with at all had known better than to put her on the spot like that. Of course, they'd never really_ had_ much to put her on the spot _with_— so how the heck had _he_, when they weren't even involved?

He blinked. "Shego, she was a nine foot tall alien, why would you think that I'd—"

"Hey, don't look at _me_!" She exclaimed accusingly, scowling. "_You're_ the one who said she was _better_ _than me_!"

"But—"

She turned her face away, a small, disgusted sound escaping her. "Look, just forget this. It's stupid." What did he want from her, anyway? A written explanation in five copies? Couldn't he just stop asking her about it? Hadn't he learned his lesson about pushing her already? And it wasn't as if _he'd_ never been jeal—

_Ugh. **So** not going there. _

He frowned in confusion. "Forget it?"

She nodded, voice determined and tight. "Forget it."

He looked at her for a moment, and when he spoke, it was hesitatingly. "I'm not...I wasn't attracted to her, Shego," he said, shaking his head. "To tell the truth, she sort of just frightened me," he added with a sheepish look. He wasn't entirely sure what his intentions were, _why_ he was telling her this, but he just had the feeling he needed to say it.

"Whatever," she cleared her throat, trying not to consider too closely the nature of the conversation they were having. The self-consciousness intensified as she felt his searching eyes on her face, and she turned away from him, walking over to the tiny dresser in the corner of the room to pick up her hairbrush. For a moment, she was able to concentrate on getting the tangles out of her damp hair, the almost zen-like repetitiveness of the brushing calming her just a little.

It didn't take long before she was pulled out of it, though.

"Shego...?" Drakken tried again, and she heard him take a small step towards her.

"Hmm?" She muttered vaguely, suppressing the urge to shout.

He stared at her for a long while, trying to think of something more to say. Finally, he just frowned. "Let's go back, okay?"

"Why, you got a roast in the oven?" She said, attempting to bring a bit of levity to the situation.

"Something like that," Drakken mumbled. This place was giving him a serious case of the heebie jeebies. It was just full of awkward memories, and he wanted to leave.

She shrugged. "Okay, just lemme get my stuff," she said, disappearing into the small bedroom with her hairbrush.

Drakken's stomach flopped painfully when Shego came out of the bedroom with a big overnight bag and he wondered exactly how long this 'break' of hers might've ended up being if he hadn't gone after her.

As a villain, he was never really inclined to be willing to take the blame for much at all, but now it looked like he really _should've_ given her some space.

Trying to look like he hadn't even noticed, he ushered her out of the dreaded apartment, turning off the lights and locking the door behind them.

* * *

**Intimacy, part X and Acceptance of Facts, part II**

* * *

For some reason, Drakken was spending the evening tearing up the lair. His preferred method of searching for misplaced items had always been to make the place even messier so it'd only further complicate his search, and while it could be frustrating in its stupidity if you were involved in the search _with_ him, it could be pretty entertaining to look at if you weren't.

Idly munching on a small bag of nuts and dried fruits, Shego leaned on the door frame while she watched the show, grinning as he upended the couch and practically threw his favourite comfy chair across the room.

Things were looking brighter again.

They'd made up— kinda, sorta— things seemed to be approaching what passed for normal between them again, and best of all, their relatives were still gone and she'd just discovered they'd stocked the pantry before they'd left.

Mama Lipsky had even left them her Chocolate Blackout Cake recipe, but one look at the ingredients— which had included things like dark chocolate, milk chocolate, sugar, butter, honey, powdered sugar, whole ground coffee beans and even rum; _yikes_— immediately put her in mind of Drakken's gluttonous behavior after the failed Hank's Gourmet Cupcakes scheme, and she incinerated the note before he could find it. Besides, she'd had the unsettling suspicion that the Lipsky matriarch had expected _her_ to bake it— _and yeah, **never **gonna happen. _

Drakken would probably spend tomorrow complaining about a stomach ache once he found the cookies his mother had left and thoughtlessly gorged himself on them as usual, anyway, but still— compared to the last few days they'd had, a bit of garden variety whining would seem like a _holiday_.

Speaking of which— since he didn't appear to have any new evil schemes on his agenda, that'd probably give her a few days off. Humming quietly to herself, she rummaged around in her bag of healthy snacks as she blissfully imagined how she'd spend the next few days.

_Doing a whole lot of **nothing**, for one thing_, she thought firmly to herself, contented. Whatever this thing between them was, it seemed to have been put on the backburner out of some sort of silent, mutual consent, and if she only got a bit of rest first, she was sure she could deal with it later.

_Somehow_, she thought, frowning a bit.

Finally, Drakken straightened up, grumbling, before he spun on his heel. "Shego! I can't find _anything_ around here anymore!"

"What now?" She drawled, popping a cashew nut into her mouth.

"Have you seen my little black appointment book? You know? About this big?" He demanded, indicating its shape and size with his hands.

"Whatcha need it for?" She shot back lazily, chewing.

"All those stupid TV shows have started calling me again!" Drakken exclaimed, sounding stressed. "They want to know when I'm available!"

Her eyebrow cocked; so _that's _who'd called earlier, thankfully distracting them from yet another tension-filled return to the lair. "You're really doing those?"

"Well, I _have_ to at least show up on _Lee Jayno_! For mother's sake!" Drakken said defensively, shooting her a suspicious look. "It's not like I _want_ to, but—"

"Oh yeah, 'cause you've _never_ craved fame or recognition," Shego taunted, smirking.

"Just tell me where the blasted book is!" Drakken snapped, his cheeks coloring a bit.

She scratched her chin, considering. "I dunno, have you checked your room?"

He scoffed. "Of course!"

"Desk drawers?"

"Of course!"

She shrugged. "Dunno, then."

Drakken threw his hands up. "Gah, you and your meddling brothers! They've completely turned this place upside down!"

Shego snorted. "Right, right…'cause your Cousin, your former cell mate and your _mother _just spent their time here enjoying a quiet spot of crochet in the corner."

"Oh, just...cut the wisecracks and help me look!" Drakken complained, digging into the couch cushions once more, in case he'd missed anything.

Shaking her head, Shego walked off to look for the book, if only because it might shut him up.

* * *

Drakken was crawling on his hands and knees under his lab table when he heard her calling from somewhere in the lair.

"Found it!"

Startled, he attempted to stand straight up and naturally banged his head on the underside of the table. Cursing and wincing, he crawled back out from under the table and got to his feet. "What, Shego?" He called back.

"I found it," Shego repeated, idly thumbing through the book to get to today's date, clucking her tongue at the hastily scribbled, messy handwriting that covered each page and unable to not be amused by the fact that her life so far had included accompanying her boss to such things as 'getting the death ray cleaned', 'meeting with the informants at the docks at five a.m. regarding password codes to secret government lab' and 'feeding the piranhas of doom'.

She had the feeling that her new life with him as her partner instead of her boss would somehow still manage to include such things. Bizarreness had a tendency to follow her around.

There was the sound of footsteps approaching as Drakken made his way upstairs. "You _found_ it? _Where_?"

She rolled her eyes. "In a box of cereal in the kitchen— and why am I not surprised? I swear, you are _so_ turning into The Absent-minded Professor. Now here's your stupid—" She blinked, looking down at a page in the book. "Um, Doc...?"

"What?" Drakken asked snippily, peeved over the 'absent-minded' jab.

Shego swallowed. "What's...what's_ this_?"

"What's what?" He stomped towards her, leaning over her shoulder to see. "Tuesday," he read, "remember to sit down and mull over..._suppressed_ _feelings_...?" His voice dropped in volume at the last part, and he gulped as his eyes travelled up to meet hers. Turning a bright shade of maroon, he snatched the book away from her hands before he took a step backwards.

_Oh, snap_, he thought, _I'd forgotten about that...!_

In a panicked and very ill-advised move, he flung the book out the window; as if that would somehow reverse time and make it so that she'd never read those embarrassing words.

There was a muffled splash as it hit the surface of the small river outside.

_Out of sight, out of mind, right?_ He thought desperately, breaking into a cold sweat.

Wrong.

"Um…" Shego began, giving him the kind of look he'd been on the receiving end of plenty of times before; the one that told him that, in her eyes, he was not only completely nuts but was also moving steadily towards bananas. Except she'd never looked this _unsure_ before. Usually she just looked like he was sorely trying her patience.

Frozen to the spot, he tried and then failed to think of something to say to remedy the situation. Because there was nothing he _could _say, really. If he hadn't reacted like he had, perhaps he could've explained it away somehow, but now…well, there was simply no doubt left that it had to do with _her_.

As he looked at her, he had no idea how to respond, so he started pacing. At least then he _wouldn't_ have to look at her.

Shego, however, was certainly looking at _him_. Staring at him openly and with a large helping of perplexed incredulity. "Uhm, what exactly are you _doing_, Doc?"

"Mulling over my suppressed feelings, of course! What does it _look _like?" He barked, with a great deal more hostility than he'd intended.

"Well, excuse _me_!" Shego barked back indignantly. What was wrong with him _now_? It had only been the _logical_ question to ask!

Harrumphing, he kept pacing, attempting to ignore her.

Meanwhile, Shego followed his frantic, back and forth little dance, like the audience of a tennis match keeping their eyes on the ball. Finally, she'd had enough, rubbing her forehead and leaning against the wall, closing her eyes.

_What the he— is he **really** going to 'mull over his suppressed feelings'? Right **now**? With me **watching**? Can he **get** any weirder? And when did he write that, anyway? _Shego wondered; then, not wanting to even start going into the overwhelming question of exactly _how_ _long_ this thing had been going on, distracted herself with _another_ question:_ Or better yet, **why** did he write that? Who actually **writes** something like that in the first place? _

Why did her life have to be this _weird_? Why was she even _there_? Why couldn't she just have a _sane_ whatever-he-was—

As she stood there, she could hear his footsteps quicken even more, hear him start to mutter quietly to himself, hear his breath go irregular, and it was only then that she noticed that she was shivering just the tiniest bit.

Peering at him through one half-opened eye, she saw him pace and pace, and it dawned on her for a more powerful, second time what was in fact happening, what she'd just seen in that book, why he was acting like this, and it was only the silly surface of the whole situation that was keeping her from panicking.

She watched him start tearing at his hair, pulling agonized faces that would've made her snort in any other kind of setting.

This was just getting ridiculous.

_Fine,_ she thought, sighing, _fine, so it's **enough** of this now. _

It looked like she was being forced to deal with this sooner rather than later. Funny how you told yourself you could plan these things even though you knew you never really could, wasn't it?

Pushing away from the wall with her elbows, she took a couple of steps towards him before she coughed gingerly. "Um...Dr. D?"

He whirled on her, nostrils flaring. "_What_?"

She almost jumped. "Nothing! I mean—" She scowled, momentarily frustrated. "_Gah_, calm _down_, okay?"

"_What_?" He demanded, his voice only marginally calmer. "What _is_ it, Shego?"

For a moment, she didn't reply, only studying his face as if trying to make up her mind about something. When she spoke, she sounded almost casual. "Possible really embarrassed me yesterday, you know. She thinks she's so damn funny, talking to the reporters like she knows our business."

This wasn't anything like what Drakken had expected her to say, if he even _knew_ what he'd expected, but he didn't comment, only frowned a bit and waited, sensing that she wasn't done talking.

"And I was thinking I'd like to take her down a peg or two," she continued matter-of-factly.

"How?" He asked, infinitely grateful of the fact that she appeared to be changing the subject. "I mean…we were just pardoned, Shego. I was hoping we could lay low for a while at least, and I don't think attacking Kim Possible is the wisest course of action right now."

She shook her head. "Not _attack_, Dr. D— I wanna _embarrass_ her!" Her left hand went to her hip, before she tapped his chest with her right index finger for emphasis. "Really make her _feel_ it! If we can get her on the front pages of some tabloids, then even better!" She added, wicked vengeance saturating every syllable.

His brow wrinkled as he looked at her, trying to figure out where she was going with all this. "You mean...like we did two years ago? Only _without_ the making her vanish forever part?" He suggested.

"Sure! I mean, what's the fun in making her _disappear_?" She reasoned, a mischievous grin blooming on her face. "I want her alive to really _suffer_ the embarrassment! I want her to_ wish_ she could disappear!"

Finally, he knew exactly where she was going, and he couldn't have been happier with the subject, couldn't have been happier at how she'd managed to drag them up from the mire of embarrassment and onto solid ground. "Oh, _Shego_— remember the _fun_ we had?" He gushed, oozing wistful, evil joy. "Remember how she tripped and fell down the stairs in front of that boy she had a crush on?"

"Hah, yeah, and totally crashed into him and nearly tore his sweater off!" She enthused, shaking her head. "Not to mention at the restaurant!"

"The coke she spilled all over herself!" He chimed in.

"The whoopee cushion!"

"When she up-ended the table over her little date!"

She snickered. "Heh, yeah…we still have the pictures, right?"

He nodded happily, with a grin that looked like something out of a haunted house. "Oh, yes…I even took _copies_!"

"We should _so_ publish them online, too," she prompted, her smirk playfully malicious.

His eyes lit up, his toothy grin spreading further. "That's an _excellent_ idea, Shego! Now…what else should we do?"

"I dunno…but I don't think we need the Embarrassment Ninjas to chaperone this time," she remarked coyly, chuckling a little.

Drakken released a scoffing little laugh. "Yes, fat lot of good_ they_ did me! Overpriced and useless they were!"

"And no stink bombs!" She said firmly.

"Definitely not!" He agreed, nodding.

"You know…call me a wacko, but I have a feeling this might actually be _fun_," she said, eyes shining with excitement, her hand clutching the sleeve of his lab coat now, her face feeling pleasantly warm.

"Yes," he said, grinning widely, squeezing her hand, looking at her and thinking for a second that her expression almost made it look like she was glowing somehow—

—and then she moved forward, simultaneously pulling him towards herself by his sleeve, and before he quite knew what was going on, she'd brought their lips together, warm, moist, soft pressure against his mouth—

A small, startled squeak died in Drakken's throat as his eyes went wide.

This was how it was supposed to be, she thought, opening her mouth slightly and reeling him in by encircling his neck with her arms. She almost had to stand on tip-toe to compensate for the height difference, but she didn't care— and then he bent down and carefully started answering her kiss, and then she _really_ didn't care.

_This_ was how it was supposed to be. No nagging family, no insecure, questioning puppy dog looks from Dr. D, no plant trying to tie them together like some bizarre Christmas present— as if life was that easy— this was only her deciding on an impulse to kiss him just because she felt like it, just because she wanted to, and him responding because _he _wanted to.

Uncomplicated, non-embarrassing…

…and very, very...good.

The kiss went on for a while...

...and a little longer...

…lifting his arms, Drakken embraced her waist, and Shego made a soft, encouraging sound, deepening the kiss.

Soon, their tongues met tentatively and moved together in slow, gliding heat.

Drakken trembled and squeezed her against his chest, cupping her cheek with one hand and trying to keep up with her mouth. It had come as nothing short of a shock, but after all they'd been through, he wasn't about to run away from this; he could only meet it head on, going with whatever she was doing, letting her take the lead and guide him. There had been enough back and forth already. He didn't have that much experience in this, sure, but then he'd never been a very patient man, either.

When their mouths finally separated, he leaned his cheek against her forehead, panting softly. "Nnhh..."

"Mmm..." Shego sighed, her eyes closed and her fingers brushing idly across his neck.

His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "That was..."

She nodded immediately. "...yeah."

"...nnhhmm," he murmured, demonstrating once more that adjectives weren't his strongest side that day.

"Yeah," she repeated, grinning slowly.

Then he seemed to come out of his daze as something occurred to him. "Wait, you mean that this..._scheme_...would also be…you know, a _date_?"

Her hands dropped from his arms at his question, and she scowled at him. But she also didn't step away. "Hey, _you_ can call it whatever you like, but just don't expect _me_ to use that lame word— anyway, I mean, yeah, I suppose so— I guess it would be something like that," she admitted grudgingly, glancing at him with a smidge of irritation. "I thought I was pretty much being Captain Obvious here."

There was a long pause, during which he could only stare at her, eyes roaming cautiously across her face. Finally, he decided she was being serious, and he tried to figure out how to respond.

When he finally replied, it came out like the vocal equivalent of somebody tip-toeing through a mine field. "Um, not that I'm complaining, but in my day, a date would be more in the direction of, you know...the movies...or dinner or, I don't know…or something?"

Shego desperately wanted to make some sort of mocking comment about 'in my day'— it was mocking _gold_, dammit— but figured that while it would be amusing, it would also be very counterproductive.

"Dr. D, we're _villains_," she began, before taking a deep breath and looking at him meaningfully. "Our lives are different from other people's in most aspects. Our home is a lair, our money comes from robberies and schemes, our living room consists of a giant laboratory with a couch in the corner, we spend our weekdays plotting global domination and we have super powers and green and blue skin."

"So?" He asked, with a move-it-along sort of hand gesture.

She rolled her eyes. "So why shouldn't it be the same with _this_? I mean, why _shouldn't_ we entertain ourselves by subjecting our nemesis to psychological torture instead of watching some box office flop and eating overpriced, stale popcorn?"

He considered this for a moment before nodding. "That's a point."

"Besides," she went on, shrugging, "I've known you for years, Doc. I _kinda_ think we're _past_ the point where we sit at a restaurant somewhere and share some nervous chit-chat."

A somewhat smug grin worked its way across his face. "Oh, so I make you _nervous_, do I?"

Shego sent him a withering look. "You know, I had a _feeling_ this whole thing would make that pesky gloating addiction of yours kick in sooner or later."

Drakken harrumphed loudly in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. "Anyway— you were _saying_, Shego?"

"I was _saying_ that it's not a situation I'd wanna be in," Shego continued, before smoothly slipping a little retaliation into her explanation: "I mean, _hello_— you and me on an actual _date_-date? What're you gonna do, try to _impress_ me or something? I've seen you in your _jammies_ already, for crying out loud!"

Drakken scowled at her. "Do you mean that we can't…? That you don't…? Or _do_ you?" He rambled on in frustration, before finally snapping: "You're just _confusing_ me now!"

Shego sighed, looking a little discomfited. "Look, I just don't wanna be…_wooed_. That'd just be all embarrassing and stuff."

Drakken shook his head at her, frowning. "But come _on_, Shego…I mean, if you want to…" He let the sentence trail off, not entirely certain how to describe what he and especially what _she_ wanted, "…well, it's going to be awkward at first no matter _how_ we do this, isn't it? Because it's…y'know…_us_," he settled for, sending her an abashed, but hopeful smile.

She grimaced. "Ugh. That's the problem."

He shrugged, then, as if he felt there was no problem at all. "If you don't want to be wooed, I guess you could woo me instead," he said pragmatically.

Shego's eyebrows shot up. "_Excuse_ me?"

"Well, it _is _2007, after all, and you're a modern, independent kind of woman, so why not?" He challenged, raising his brow right back at her. "And _you're_ the one with all the money to spend on luxury, anyway," he added, a tad snippily. "Goodness knows your salary's high enough."

That actually made her laugh, and he began to feel a bit more optimistic. "Gee, Doc, I'd buy you flowers, but you _do_ kinda have your own supply now."

An optimism that left just as quickly as it had arrived. "Hilarious, Shego."

She grinned, shaking her head. "You're on, Dr. D. I'll bring dinner."

He fixed a downright disbelieving look on her. "You're going to _cook_?"

She snorted. "I can afford to have somebody else cook it _for_ me."

He puffed his chest up, looking self-satisfied. "You know, I think I'm going to _like_ being wooed."

She bit back a chuckle. "Yeah, I _bet_."

There was a short silence.

Then Shego noticed that Drakken's hand was hovering just above her arm, unsure.

Drakken let out a soft, short breath. "Umm..." He began uncertainly.

Her smile was crooked. "Again?"

Drakken nodded eagerly, relieved that he didn't have to ask.

Shego laughed, but she also kissed him.

* * *

The date was a complete disaster.

They were never discovered while tailing Possible, but the champagne was lukewarm, Shego's outfit was ruined by Stoppable's purple Slushee, which he accidentally dropped over the edge of a bridge while they were lurking in the hover car under said bridge, Drakken got sick from the oysters that Shego had brought for dinner, and as they were about to leave, they flew straight into a flock of ducks and crashed into a billboard, consequently spending the rest of the evening bickering.

If there was one valuable talent they'd picked up from their careers in villainy, though, it was the ability to dust themselves off and try again.

And as usual, they _had_ managed to have some fun before it all went south.

The next day, Bonnie Rockwaller received an email containing half a dozen truly embarrassing pictures of Kim Possible. She spent the afternoon happily selling her copies to every tabloid she could get in touch with, completely unaware that she was helping two infamous super villains reap all the benefits of Kim Possible's humiliation without any of the consequences.

When he heard the news, Bonnie's future father-in-law was quite proud. He didn't seem _quite_ as pleased, however, when Bonnie was sued for slander by Kim Possible and his son begged him to pay for all the legal fees and the final settlement, which, incidentally, would end up paying for a new house for the Possibles.

Luckily for Drakken and Shego, all this meant they escaped the worst of the media attention.

Because while audiences always loved a great epic tale of heroic redemption, they loved things like reality TV shows, soap operas and clips of 'funny' animals even more.

Which, unfortunately for Kim Possible, also included things like embarrassing pictures of world famous celebrities wearing their pants around their ankles and a bucket of spoiled oysters for a hat.

**The End. **

* * *

**Author's note:** In the words of Roy Orbison: 'It's OVER! It's OOOOOOOVEEEER!"

Some of the stuff in this chapter is _also_ older than dirt. Some of this I've been holding on to since 2007. Yeesh.

**I apologize for the previous 'chapter'. **It wasn't in German, French or Icelandic, but it was most certainly a joke. It was simply a cut and paste job of the first act of the Norwegian play _Peer Gynt_ by world famous playwright Henrik Ibsen— with the names of the two main characters 'Peer' and 'Åse' replaced by 'Drakken' and 'Shego'. It was written in Norwegian, although in a nineteenth century manner of writing, which was closer to Danish than what Norwegian is today.

I know it was immature, but it was my last chance for a silly prank since _Maslow_'s now quite definitely over. And I had some cheap laughs over it, too. Kekeke.

**A big Thank You to Charlotte C, **who's been my lovely beta on this story since chapter **17:** **THIRTEEN. **Thanks for coming along on the rest of this silly ride with me. I'm sure you didn't know how much work it would be when you signed on, kekeke. ;) Nah, I keed, I keed— we've had lots of fun. :)

**A salute also goes out to my previous beta, Zoza.** Thanks for all the helpful words, babes. :)

**And then a thanks to CJS, Marvolo Cassius AKA Lon Wolfgood, Artemis**, **Yume, Dippy AKA Teh Dipstick and Mickey,** who've all listened to me rant about the story at some point and have even brainstormed with me a few times.

**A final thanks is owed to the people who've been kind enough to take the time to not only read my story but also to leave me reviews.** Thanks, guys. :)

**So he wanted her to be his partner, okay, not bad— but a partner in _what_? Crime? Legitimate research? Speaking tours? Driving an ice cream truck? What?:** Charlotte mentioned that I had to touch upon this somehow, and so I took her suggested text and rewrote it a little.

_What the he— is he **really** going to 'mull over his suppressed feelings'? Right **now**? With me **watching**? Can he **get** any weirder? And when did he write that, anyway?: _Another one of Charlotte's great suggestions, rewritten by me. :)

**Drakken's appointment book: **From chapter **15: Sisyphus**.

NOW GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN, YOU PESKY KIDS! D:


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